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 Who has the most boring Vlad or Lad?

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Poll :: Win her or bin her?

Keep going. He's so bad he's good
33%
 33%  [ 2 ]
Drop him like a fried hot potato with a chicken
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Ask Admins to add a shooting oneself in the head smiley
66%
 66%  [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 6


Author Message
Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Here's my edited offering from what is meant to be a love letter from Christina.
It is SO boring and SO badly translated IMHO it almost qualifies as brilliant.

I like to listen music of foreign executors. I have no favourite from it.
You listened to the Russian executors? In general to love me all modern
Music, to me is pleasant to listen radio station Europe +, you have heard about such?
The my dear friend I to want speaks still All of you those things about foodstuff,
No, for the love of God,no, don't tell me what foods you like
which as I most of all: very much
Very to love, when I a fried potato with a chicken, also I love almost
All kinds of soups. Also I love the fried meat on coal, a barbecue. Mine
The friend and to love you a chicken, I think, what yes it so
Tasty especially when wishes to eat. Also I love very insistently a
The pizza with cheese, it I be able be prepared very well as I to study
This my mum.
STOP. I will glady send you a WU money order FOR REAL if you STOP.
I suppose next you'll be telling me about fruit and vegetables, ha ha!

I wish to tell, that I like almost all fruit and Vegetables.
:yikes: Also it is especial oranges, bananas and gentle fruit a
Banana. You like my tastes on foodstuff, it is simple to me very much.
In the winter I like to go on a skating rink with my girlfriends, and
To go for the engine on the fads. I wish to tell
You, that is pleasant to me read, at a leisure. To me just as to all women
Very to love, when last fashion and on it I am pleasant to hours read
Female magazines, such as Cosmopoliton, you have heard about such, it is very good.
Where's the shooting oneself in the head emoticon on here?
The my dear friend still I want, that you have told,
That deposit is favourite dark blue colour, it is my majority of favourite colour, as it Very much calms eyes, you like this colour?

I really will spare you the rest of the tedious, tortuous, Babelfish-mangled horror that was the letter. But should I reply?
Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Terror Mask
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 892
Location: Guiding my lads to Cthulhu's lair.


PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Frack, that's the Ed Wood of love letters.

Still, it has potential. I'd say cultivate it.

It's not that someone asks you if you listened to "russian executors" everyday. And it's a wonderful occasion for deeducating a vlad: everyone knows it's EXECUTIONERS, no? Wink

_________________
I'm always reforming, MWAHAHAHAHA!
-Official President of the Phil & Chrys Fan Club-


I GOT YOUR MAIL RIGHT NOW BUT THE PAYMENT SLIP THAT YOU SEND TO ME DID NOT SHOW ANY SIGNAL - Barr. St3v3 Mus4 4g4w4

.......i need to know cuz i like to do thing to pleased my self ok - John (or Frank) Smith.

FOOL I DON`T CARE HOW MUCH YOU MAKE IN 3 DAY. GOD GO PUNISH YOU LITTLE RAT. BEAST LIKE UR FATHER.... FUCK YOU AND FUCK UR FAMILY... U MOTHERFUCTHER (Barr. Michael Rich) Easter Egg 2011
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Good point, Terror. It may be interesting to find out what Russian Executioners she knows and then send her to them. So, got anything boring to beat my boring?

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
Terror Mask
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 892
Location: Guiding my lads to Cthulhu's lair.


PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Just this, but it pales in comparison...it's more disjointed than boring.
Bold highlights are mine Very Happy

Quote:

Hello again!How are you?I ` m just reterned from my work.
I was dancing on opening a cafe here. It was my last day at work,
everybody in my dance group told me so many warm words and wished me
luck in my trip! I told them about you and everybody said they will
cross one's fingers you are a good man and we will like each other! We
had some fun today and it was my last working day but now I feel
myself so sad. I will miss my work and girls from my work. I
almost cry now anyway I do not want to make any steps back and I
want to continue my arrangements.
I have some good news for you! After sending this email I will go home, take my
packed bags and go to Yakutsk ! It is a nearest big city and
there is an airport. From there I will fly to Moscow! I ` m really afraid to
fly on a plane! I hope my plane will not fall down! I'm really afraid!
It is several hours from Yakutsk to Moscow.
When I come to Moscow and settle down I will write you an email. I
hope tomorrow I will be able to write you.
In Moscow I will spend 2-3 days or maybe even less, I should make all
final arrangements with my documents and after it I will come to you!
I cannot wait I it wish to appear in your embraces
Soon you will hear some news from me from Moscow!!!!!!!!

_________________
I'm always reforming, MWAHAHAHAHA!
-Official President of the Phil & Chrys Fan Club-


I GOT YOUR MAIL RIGHT NOW BUT THE PAYMENT SLIP THAT YOU SEND TO ME DID NOT SHOW ANY SIGNAL - Barr. St3v3 Mus4 4g4w4

.......i need to know cuz i like to do thing to pleased my self ok - John (or Frank) Smith.

FOOL I DON`T CARE HOW MUCH YOU MAKE IN 3 DAY. GOD GO PUNISH YOU LITTLE RAT. BEAST LIKE UR FATHER.... FUCK YOU AND FUCK UR FAMILY... U MOTHERFUCTHER (Barr. Michael Rich) Easter Egg 2011
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 10:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I can't believe I'm reviving this thread but after I sent a mail which said;

Quote:
I think bananas are the most gentle of all the fruits too.

Love Haz

ABOUT A MONTH AGO!!

Christina the most boring Vlad in the world replies - and don't worry it's edited:

Hello my dear!!!!
I so am happy to receive news from you again and again. [Even her first sentence makes me lose the will to live]

Today I had
Bad mood. Also except for it today, I should serve very bad client in ours
Hairdresser's services.
He has tried to capture me and has said various offensive words.
But then the police has thrown out it in the street. My mood was awful after
It. But when I saw your letter on the computer, my mood has at once
The improved. I do not worry more because of it.
[snip]
In my opinion you have a majority of qualities which I search in the person.
And I hope, that our relations can grow. Nevertheless I to wish to tell to you about mine Dreams. My simple dreams. [ Please dont ]
[snip]
I wish to tell to you, it in us in Russia very bad service with mail,
I remember as still then, friend Irinas has sent it mail any card, that it
Simply has not reached it, and has been simply stolen. It so is offensive and
It is a pity, which in us in Russia have very bad service with it, but
However I never started to use it if I do not know, it is reliable
Whether it is valid.
[snip]
[The state of the Russian Postal Service!!?? She has got to be kidding me]

Come on admins! 75% of four people want the shooting head emoticon. Some, namely me, more than others!!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
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