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 Addons for elderly eaters

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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 8:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I stumbled across this accessibility addon for Firefox called Lowbrowse. It includes a magnification frame at the top of the window, easy image enhancement, and text restyling. Some of the *cough* older people here may find it very handy. You can find it in the Firefox gallery here. I don't know if it works on versions past 3.6, though.

Also, the Readability extension in Chrome and Firefox may be handy as well.

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I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

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Pastor Frank
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Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 11436
Location: Illuminati HQ


PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 8:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I hate everything about you, but the extension is cool.

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"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ I'd be worried if you didn't, you glorious bastard.

_________________
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

GYV::Tanstaafl::Abiga::Game-theory::Church-Sites Easter Egg 2011
Closed lad accounts x 18 (10 from Tanstaafl baits) United Kingdom x 5 United States x 2 Ivory Coast Netherlands Malaysia Nigeria x 2 Spain
Safari SW Bait - Cl3tus Orof3 Accra->8auchi->Accra->Lagos, co-bait with Nowhere Man, Bravo, The Dane & psychicbait
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How to kill a Badger
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BootsFromAbove
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 10 Mar 2011
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

leon...Are you tring to say something ???? Dancing Banana Dancing Banana Dancing Banana



2Panther
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Fryer
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Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 2496
Location: Global Computer Mega Cafe


PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sheesh, I was just at the optometrist's on Thursday getting a new prescription...which is around here someone, if I could see to find it!

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irishemigrant
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Joined: 22 Jul 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

leon is going the right way to NOT get an invitation to any of my future birthday parties.

Cool app though Very Happy

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leonsumbitches
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Joined: 15 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey, I'm a firm believer in H.L. Mencken's statement: “The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.”

And I'm not even 30 yet. Rest assured, when I am as old as you, I will look back and realize that everyone under 40 is a moron and everyone over my advanced age is a fool.

_________________
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

GYV::Tanstaafl::Abiga::Game-theory::Church-Sites Easter Egg 2011
Closed lad accounts x 18 (10 from Tanstaafl baits) United Kingdom x 5 United States x 2 Ivory Coast Netherlands Malaysia Nigeria x 2 Spain
Safari SW Bait - Cl3tus Orof3 Accra->8auchi->Accra->Lagos, co-bait with Nowhere Man, Bravo, The Dane & psychicbait
insults and more
How to kill a Badger
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Mr Tambourine Man
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Joined: 06 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oi! I'm seriously considering crossing you off my Christmas card list.
I'm 64 and my eyesight hasn't deteriorated at all, possibly due to my being short-sighted. I got a new pair of glasses last year, and was surprised to be told that my last eye test was ten years earlier. Virtually identical prescription. Smile

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Jim Morrison
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Joined: 12 Mar 2010
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

How many dioptres do you have now mr. tambourine man?

btw, don't worry about taking you time to answer, I am not sleepy and there aint no place I'm going to Wink

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Fowan Nyne
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I just wish I could read the screen in order to know what you are all talking about... Confused

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Morgain Le Fay
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Joined: 14 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@leon You *day* is coming and wherever you go, they will take a look at you and say "Bless your heart; you are eligible for the elderly discount." Laughing Laughing Laughing

Some of us like "senior" better. Crying or Very sad Wink

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Last edited by Morgain Le Fay on Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:08 am; edited 2 times in total
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TheFae
Groped by a wheelie bin


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Whaaat? I couldn't hear. Watching the front door because pizza comes from there.

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^ Laughing

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"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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Otterfan
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Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters


PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks, but I got new lenses the other week.

Literally new lenses. As in... biological ones: Out. Synthetic ones: In. Never realized how bad my old eyes had become.

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^OF, where have you been? Good to see you're still alive.

_________________
"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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Otterfan
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Joined: 14 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Here and there.

Mainly there.

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Hello Kitty! <--TS certified.

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Pastor Frank
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Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 11436
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^Good to see you friend.

_________________
"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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Tuco
Rant Collector


Joined: 08 Aug 2007
Posts: 1098
Location: On a desert safari.


PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 4:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@ Mr Tambourine Man:
At our age we can get away with a lot of things by appearing to be senile, but of course appearances aren't always deceptive. Confused

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Closed lad accounts x8 (Thanks Corona)
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BootsFromAbove
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Joined: 10 Mar 2011
Posts: 10


PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 6:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A Raining and stormy Sunday Morning during Church Services;

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.



"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of bitches."


2Panther
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Morgain Le Fay
Pistol-packin' Mama


Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Posts: 5800
Location: Taking my new .38 special to the range


PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi, we have plenty more jokes over here http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=134462 if you are interested.

_________________
Closed lad accounts X42 Easter Egg 2011 United Kingdom Mc Fry
Safari Nash and 6 friends 488 Km within Ghana - bait with Agda (2012)
Safari Safari Philip Ghana-Benin (bait w/Agda) 2013
Mortar x5
TV Star
.edu's 260 reported
Click here to support 419Eater.com
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"You people are all Junks" - Miss E. Kabx

"Maybe you are insane as your so called sat..." Barrister Insane

The website below is available for Eater folks to use.
Film & Production Needs
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Tuco
Rant Collector


Joined: 08 Aug 2007
Posts: 1098
Location: On a desert safari.


PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A grizzled old-timer is taking his morning walk when the town undertaker pulls alongside on the way to a funeral and rolls down the window of his hearse:

"How you doin', old-timer?"

"Never felt better!"

"I'll get you yet, old-timer!"

The old timer smiled and replied:
"That's what your father said!"

_________________
"My broda. i like ur guts it shows u are a full guy." - Williams H0lm
"you should understand my brain problem." - R0se Br0wn
"you are a very ungreatful and wicked person." - Veronica K0ffi
"Thanks for giving me a nauthy number that preys unit like a hungry lion." - Alise Kar1m
"I have called you more than 20 times but non of the calls went through." - Williams C0ker
"I've said in my previous mail that I do not understand English." - Cabinet Bad0u
"PLEASE MY CHAIRMAN, I AM NOT GREEDY, I LIKE TO WORK WITH YOU, I HAVE LOST MANY OF MY JOBS , PLS PLS PLS, I WILL WORK HARD WITH U." - Dr. Lui$ James
"There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend."
Closed lad accounts x8 (Thanks Corona)
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Baitsamurai
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Joined: 30 Mar 2010
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 8:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Now we finally know who the really "old" baiters are... Wink

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BootsFromAbove
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Joined: 10 Mar 2011
Posts: 10


PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 11:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The things kids say....


I was eating lunch today with my 10 year old grandson when his mom asked him, "What is tomorrow?"

He said "It's President's Day."

She asked "What does that mean?" .... I was waiting for something profound.

He said, "President's Day is when Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."

I almost snorted my pepsi.


2Panther...sorry no link
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BootsFromAbove
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Joined: 10 Mar 2011
Posts: 10


PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 11:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Tennessee back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently I'm still lost.........


2Panther...sorry no link again
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callum
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Joined: 29 May 2004
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Location: On the run from the asylum and this seems like a good place to hide. Blend right in...


PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I here that a second shed is also a must when you're getting on in years.

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