a colonel or a major?

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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 11:13 pm

Well, the colonel is sleeping and the major appears!

Quote:

Me: hi man!
me: i'm back for a few min
me: i think you had a question to me, yes?
me: say
maj: good
maj: i was asking how many years experience do you have in this sales business
me: 25 yrs
maj: ok
me: will you hire me?
maj: then thats mean you can open your own business if you had enough money
me: i think so
maj: ok
maj: but why haven't you planned that
maj: or the salary is not enough for you to save any in bank
me: i don't have enought money to that
maj: but looking at the way of thing how much do you think can do that?
me: it's necessary think about a lot of things, like place of the store
James Miler: ok
me: for who you need to sell
me: and other things
maj: but how much do you think a store will cost to be rented?
maj: just give me a rough estimate
me: the store in a street? in a shopping center?
me: hight class?
me: media class?
me: you must think about
me: poor class? (a popular sstore?)
maj: a popular store
me: in USd or reais?
maj: yes usd
me: i think... for a popular store... 1.000 /1500 usd
me: for rent by monthly
me: are you going to be a businessman?
maj: because I will retire in october
me: oh, it's true you told me
maj: yes but I have to keep you busy
me: me?
maj: with something
me: why?
maj: yes
me: and you?are you going to sleep all time?
maj: am planing to trade in gold.because I found out gold prices rise every two weeks
maj: how many months money will they take first for the begining
maj ?
maj: for the store
me: i need to study it
me: the place, the clothes, and another things
me: and how much for the cloths?
maj: and other things
me: for begins and to say you fast i think ...
me: 10.000 usd
maj: ok

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 11:30 pm

2nd time:

Quote:

maj: so when we get married where do you want us to stay?
maj: i have three houses in the States
me: and?
Me: oh, what do you want? i have to think about that!
maj: ok
maj: my kids stay with my younger sister in Georgia
in my late dad's house
me: why? your kids can stay with us
maj: my kids are in Georgia because am not use to stay at home because of my work
maj: but will go on retired this year october
me: yes but in the future... we can stay together. what do you think about?
Maj:`yes that when you are arround
maj: they have even been forcing me to look for a woman
maj: so that they can sray with me
me: i have a heart for all
maj: ok . thanks
me: thanks for what?
me: Do you have a place in your heart for me?
me: i hope so
me: sure S2ara
me: but tell me
me: am i your bride?
maj: sure
maj: and am your broom
me: broom? i can't understand
maj: your husband
maj: bride is for woman and broom is for a man
me: oh, i didn't know it. thanks teacher
me: ok, so i'm your bride and you are my broom. yes?
me: dear! you're so lovely!
maj: yes honey
Receiving IMVironment from major ...
major has selected the "Falling Hearts" IMVironment.

So, i'm not good with english, but now i have a good teacher! Very Happy

and also a broom! clapping

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 11:39 pm

third time:

Quote:

me: i'm very excited !
maj: am also excited talking to you
me: dear... you're...
me: i don't have words to say to you!
maj: yes honey
maj: but you know about gold?
me: gold?
Maj:yes
Me: do you have gold?
maj: no but i have friend who has got married an african woman
maj:he is in africa now
maj: and he told me they can ship some gold to me for trade
me: is it good for us?
maj: yes but we first have to get some buyers
maj: who will buy the stuff
me: well, we talk later dear, sorry
maj: whats wrong?
me: no someone is calling me
me: a trouble.... with pants....!!!!
maj: ok
me: kisses dear. my dear broom!

Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 8:26 am

Hehe, a broom! Good thing you keep de-educating him! Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 2:18 pm

Broom! What a great pet name! I had a soft spot for Babar, but Broom is far better! Nice one

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:03 am

The colonel returned! He is in a hurry! Any suggestion?

Quote:

hello baby ..
i am fine in here ,thanks a million for the mail i really appreciate the words you have carefully written down for me ..I now believe that i have met my soul mate ,someone i can count n at all times without fear ,knowing that you will be there for me in anyway you could and i am promising you that ..i will do all the things in my power to protect you ,love you and i will make you see that love is not sour if well cooked .

Baby i will need you to help me with something ...i have been repairing my home in USA ever since i got back and with the fees and outstanding stuffs to take care of over my daughter lira. I am left broke ...I need you to assist me with a sum of 600usd to hold till i get things sorted out in here ...please i will appreciate it i need it urgently ..

Let me know when you will send it i will send you the details to send it .just let me know when you will be sending it ..thank you
I care
collin

I guess I prefer my Broom! but i don't have news from him! Sad

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:08 am

The colonel is here, i don't know what happens with my broom major!

Quote:

col: hello bab
me : Hi dear!
col: did you get my mail ?/
me: yes, i read your email.
col: you did nt reply why ??
col: or maybe you wanted to come give me the god news online
me: well, i went this afternoon to talk with my lawyer about my money
col: but shouldnt you talk to your acct instead
me: remember, the inheritance of my deceased husband
col: well u never told me about it
col: but go on speak on
me: no, darling? I'm so silly!
col: no problem
me: well, my ex husband have some properties
col: ok
me: and .... what1s the name in english? actions..?
col: so he ahd some properties he willed them to you dint he??
me: well, we wer going to break us but he died before
col: i am sorry
me: and all are in his name
col: but you still is entitiled to half by law right
me: but his mother is creating problems so i was not got any money
me: the word is actions - for something in NASDAQ - do you know it . i don't know nothing about.
col: about what baby
me: NASDAQ . do you know?
col: srry i dont
me: Don't worry! I only know it means Money
col: so what is your lawyer ding for you
col: and can you get to send the 600
me: Oh dear, I'm trying to explain to you
col: ok
me: is that all money is currently being used to pay the lawyer
col: coz really all i need was 800 i just had to lower it to 600
col: DAMN

I think he is angry with me!

Quote:

me: but think dear
col: pls try and borrow for me
me: i'm speaking to you about 3.000.000,00 reais
col: ok
me: do you think this isn't important?
col: well its yurs baby nt mine i jsut ahppen to need 800usd in here right now
me: i'm trying to get to you dear! What is the urgency? explain, please.
col: urgent means quick fast ontime etc
me: I'm talking about 1.800.000 usd
col: wow is a great deal of money
me: for us dear
col: and since when ahve you been on this
me: for our life together
col: not for us baby that monay is yours you ot wed i
col: i ajust need 800usd in here right now
col: i want you i want a wife and you seems to be the right woman
me: if you are with me all is ours
col: really ??
me: and i'll go to laugh very much in spend his money with you dear . he had anothers women and he has was violent with me!
col: sorry baby
me : but , don't worry! I'm going to see the money for you. as soon as possible
col) Surprised

h you will
col: i will be glad
me: but dear, think 1.800.000 usd is a good money for us
me: do you agree with me?
col: wel its great money dear
me: i guess my army hero deserve all
col: yes i do
col: well my benefit after i retire is a great money as well i think we will not ahve a ny problem when we finally settle
col: i will say you shuld leave brazil and come live with me then what do you say about that
me: okay. i think it's wonderful

He send me emoticons like kisses, closer, ... and i sent a pic of “my” legs to him.

Quote:

me: a pic to you dear! i hope you'll like
col: WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILD??
col: THE PIC
col: CAN YOUS END THE CHECK
col: CHEST
col: LET ME SEE YOUR CHEST
me: dear, i didn't understand nothing!
col: send me another pic
col: of your breast
col: can u send do that
me: ok, but wait a momen . i can take the pic
col: that means yu just took this pic??
me: wait dear!

More emoticons from He:
- Hello...Cupid called. He says to tell you I need my heart back.

I work to find a picture of the way I wanted, but worth it! Veering from the subject of money.

Quote:

col: You make my heart melt
me: to you dear! do you like?
col: yu just sent took this ??
col: seriously??
me: wait. i'm trying make a good pic to you

Another pic to him. I spent more time!another emoticom from him. - Come here you. Come on. Closer. Closer.

Quote:

me: brb
me: It's hard... but I got it. It's not easy to take pictures of myself alone
col: wow
col: thansk for the pic
me: i guess you don't like me
col: they ware lovely oh i do
col: but i am just tinking
col: about the 800usd
col: baby when will you send it ??
me: Tomorrow is Sunday i guess i see it on Monday . ok?
col: thats fine by me
col: i will send you the address to send it ok
col: send it through western union or money gram

Not yet!

Quote:

me: yes, but first honey. tell me
col : what ??
me : did tou like the pics? Do you like me? Tell me, how much did you like?
Col: HOW DO U MEAN BABY
col: LIKE IN WAHT WAY??
me: You know honey!
col: baby i rea;;y dont understand what you want me to say
me: if you'll be a good boy to me... maybe i'll send another pics to you!
me: good boy or a bad boy, you can choose
col: well i can be good in the bad way
col: or bad in the d way
me: maybe you can be more hot!
me: tell me... can you be hot?

In this moment... He disappears.....
Few minutes later....

Quote:

me: my deer talk with me!
col: i am srry i my notebook went dead
col: i just switched it back on

I sent another pic.

Quote:

me: sorry i had problems but i don't know waht happened the with this pic
col: its ok

He tried save the pics but i did not let.
me: but honey, tell me now!
col: what
me: how much excited you are
col: right now ?
me: oh, i'm getting disappointed with you!
col: why
col: baby
col: what going on
me: I'm a hot woman deer!
col: pls forgive me
col: i never mearnt to behave like this
col: its just that
me: oh, forget all
col: i know
col: you
col: have to understand something
col: you knmow i ahd a issue bothering me
col: the money thing
me: brb

Wait man! Wait!

Quote:

col: although you ahve said you will solve that on monday
col: isnt it??

Wait! Wait! Few minutes later.

Quote:

me: sorry my deer, my mother in law just arrive! i need to go! Bye
col: will send it into your mail box
col: my maid will take collect it for me ok
col: i will send it to your mail box ok

He wrote an address : Bakersfield, CA - ????? (if you want the complete address sent a PM to me).

Well, now i have the Broom and the Deer! - a major and a colonel - The life is very hard! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:14 am

This morning i received a beautiful poem from the colonel! Here is only the beginning of it!

Quote:

hello i am srry i was like that yesterday ..but thanks for offering to help

The red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathes of love;
O, the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.
But I send you a cream-white rosebud
With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips.
then...

Col
NB;
this is the details you will pay the 800usd to
Su2san Car3penter

Bakersfield,
let me know when you have sent it ..
col

It's so beautiful! Especially the end!

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:16 am

But I have more one from him! He is generous!

Quote:

hello dear,

I hope by now you should be aware and ready to go to church as i am over here too..
how is Alice and the rest f the family ..do you attend a church if yes what denomination do you attend ?i am a MORMON that what we that attend the latter day saint church of Christ call ourselves .

I helped you call my lawyer over the property of your deceased spouse ..he said you need a good lawyer on Contested Wills or Probate so i told you have a lawyer and honestly you are a very smart person so i believe your lawyer will do a great job..wouldn't he ?He also asked me if you had a prenuptial agreement signed when you married your husband ..prenuptial is like a document that the groom and bride sign when they are getting married something that will stand stating what they will both have at the death or the breakup of the marriage of the both of them ..So let me know how things are ok keep me posted .
I will be expecting to hear from you soon ..
thank once again for offering to help me ..I OWE YOU 1.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:13 pm

Nice move - you need your money to pay the lawyer's fees! Stalling him and whetting his appetite at the same time. bow_down

Of course, he is chatting with several victims at once, hence the interruptions.

He is repairing his house - has he sent you pictures of his house yet? You want to see where you all will be living. You will not send money for a house you don't like.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:19 pm

Thanks! I loved! You're great! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:33 pm

Here is my answer colonel!

Quote:

My deer,

Tomorrow i'll go to talk with my lawyer again. I need to pay the lawyer's fees! Sometimes I guess he wants me , in fact, all my money! He looks at me with eyes of greed!

you asked about religion, I'm a catholic woman. I attend a church near my house.

Does your house is near the church? are there good shops near? And the neighborhood is friendly? Can you send some pics of you house? I want to see an know all where we will be living. This is very important to me. And I won't send money for a house I don't like. I'm sure you'll agree with me.

Deer, I'm very anxious, answer me fast!

kisses

your truly

Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:08 pm

Can't wait to see his answer!
And great idea to make the lawyer a competitor for your favours - is the lawyer romancing you, too - if only for your money?

Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:55 pm

Jeannette, his answer is here:

Quote:

Hello ,
How are you today i am so sorry i am replying a little late its because i just git to read the mail ..I have been trying to load the pictures of my house but it would not upload at all GOD KNOWS WHY !!well i hope you will get t send the money today of tomorrow morning please reply me on time and let me know when you will send money i need that money urgent dear ..please dont delay at all..

well i think you are a beautiful woman so i dont blame your lawyer if he starts to develop interest in you .i am sure with the amount you stand to get if the court judgment swings to your side he will definitely want to marry you to spend the money with you something i can never do as if i am marrying you i am ding that because of pure feelings i have for you and not the money at all.
let me know my fate i hate waiting on you ..let me know when you will send the money exactly ..

Unhappy, i'll have a problem with my computer too! What a pity! Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:46 pm

He sent it yesterday

Quote:

hello ,
well i hope you will like the pics in here ...my house is close to my church and i am sure you will get a catholic church around .well about shops i think you will to find that somewhere not too far ..well we will plan that when it gets to that stage baby why the rush??
Expecting your reply ..

I didn't like the pics! I didn't like the house! But he'll have wait for my answer, unhappy my computer broke! Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:02 pm

Poor lad!

Quote:

Honey,

Sorry !I beg your pardon!

I had a problem with my computer! Only today i can use it again, unhappy i lost all here.

Did you send me the pics of our house? And the informations that i asked to you? Please send me agai!

Ah, i need also the informations to send you the money, ok?

Ah, does our house has a garden? I love flowers! Please, take a pic of it.

I heard that house prices are lowering in US. Is it true? What do you think about a new house? Think about honey! Maybe we can buy a new one for us.

kisses

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:08 am

Hell hath no fury like a woman who thinks she's gettin MARRIED Twisted Evil

Nice job

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:55 pm

The home of your dreams:

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 7:05 pm

yes, yes, yes!!!!! Very Happy

I have news!!! But later.....

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 11:02 am

I really did my best.

Quote:

My deer,

You made me a lot of work! I didn't know how to send money to you and was worried about the delay.
I never send money abroad! You should have taught me how to do this!
Honey, don't worry! Your money for our house already sent. Yesterday afternoon.
I seal the money in a box and i sent this box by Sedex Express. I've used this courier service,is very good and reliable.
Ah, the key code is 112, don't forget!
I took the liberty of sending a little more money. I want ask a favor to you, don't be angry with me,could you buy a new bed for us? I would not lie with you in the same bed of your dead wife.
Thanks for the pics. I loved them.
Please, tell me when the box has arrived in your hands. Are you sure that Susan is reliable?

yours ever

I hope my groom will be happy with me! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:40 pm

This bit about wanting a new bed: LOL_sign

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 4:36 am

I loved the bit about the bed as well. I think I might use that in future. Nice one Mr. Green

Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:33 pm

I received this answer today:

Quote:

hello sunshine ,
I am very sorry that i am mailing you at this late hour infarct i am sure by now you will be thinking a lot of me ...but i assuring you that everything id fine here and GOD is in control..i have been away for the past few days i was in Philadelphia to see my aged mum..I even told her about you and showed her your pic she said she will be trilled to have you around soon, i am sorry i couldn't get online i just got back early hours today ..Pls forgive me ...
I saw in the mail that you sent the money via a package to the intended address CARE OF MRS S1U2SAN CAR3PEN4TER. It was too bad i did not discuss with you in details the way you will have to go about getting the money sent to USA pardon my mistake dear ..i will further explain to you in future alright ..well how much did you send and are you sure this courier service can be trusted ..let me know the day it will get to the address so i can be on the look out for it OK..pls i will not want to loose the package alright ..I have to thank you for this gesture in fact i don't know how to thank you enough ..i will love us to get to speak soon so in lieu of that i will love you to send me your phone number in the next mail you sent to me .. Mail me back as soon as you can with all the information i seek of you .
thank you
love you
Co1lli2n

and this:

Quote:

hello sweetest 1 ,
I am so sorry i am getting to mail today as i said in the earlier mail i was away for a while went to Philly to see mum..But i am back now and i promise to keep you updated about everything OK.. as for the buying of a new bed i think it will be a very great idea you are very right by suggesting that you will not want to sleep n the same bed once occupied by my passed wife ..

I think i will go with you absolutely on that idea and if it makes you feel any better i was thinking about it as well..But you know how things are for me right now the 800usd i asked for will be used up in the house repairs and i honestly don't have much on hand to get a very wonderful bed the type i will like you to have in your room..So if you are willing to help with that i will try and see how much it cost and in turn will let you know asap.Pls send me your number so we will be able to talk i am really looking forward to meeting you soon..let me when the package is scheduled to get here and Pls what a keycode ??whats it for ?let me know all this so i will know how to go about it ok..
thank you again and i care a lot about you
lots of kisses and hugs
Co2llin

Can someone explain why he was not angry? Shocked

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:49 pm

news

Quote:

hello sunshine,
how are you today ?i hope you are fine and everything s alright over there?how is Brazil today?i hope all is great and you guys are having a wonderful time all together ..i so much look forward to coming to Brazil as well and i am so much looking forward to been with my beautiful tour guide around that place (you)lol..

I was hoping you will have seen my mail and better still replied but on getting online i see that you had not been on here or probably too busy to reply as soon as you got the mail..

I have ;looked for a wonderful bed for you and i think you will like it i will be sending you pictures of the bad for you to choose from ...i will be selling my wife initial one that way we will be able to get you another 1 and if you need to include some more money to get the new 1 i will let you know ok..I cant wait to have you inhere its been over 9 yrs since that house have a presence of a mistress.
Pls tell me what is in the package,did you include a mail?did you put something else in it aside from the money and how much is the actual money you had stashed in the package...please let me know as soon as possible OK..
I hope to get to chat with you soon.

kisses and hugs

Oh, i want to see my bed! And yours too!!!! Twisted Evil

Quote:

My deer,

Sorry! I have been very busy!

Don't forget the key code is 112.

I sent you a box, inside you will find: a love letter, a pic of me (for you can see me better, but please don't show this pic for anyone) and 2.260 usd.

Where are the pics of the bed ? I want to see!

I can't wait to meet you!

all my love

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:51 pm

Hehe, it reads between the lines that he's drooling over his payoff....

Expect either a stardard magazine ripoff or a photochop (gotta keep you appeased until the "package" arrives...) Wink