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Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:37 am

Laddo gets back to me. Amazingly, he's compliant:

Quote:

Thanks very much Mr. Barry, It's good to hear from you again and I can understand all that you have said. But I want you to know that I promise to get the copy of the bills scanned and forwarded to you as soon as possible and You'll recieve it before saturday..

Best regards,
Connor..

How nice. I have a form for Laddo to fill out (Pending Phil's approval of course). It's my first, so it's only one page long, but it IS pretty stupid and will keep my tiny little mind amused for hours to come

Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:22 pm

Good boy Mike! We look forward to seeing your scans. We hope you have kept receipts for all the food and snacks you have eaten your expenses say you spent £7.91 per day - between two! What have you been surviving on? Happy meals?

But Mike seems content enough for now. He sends this:

Quote:

Awww, that was a great vision you had baby.. You're such a sweetheart, you know just how to say things to make me happy in my heart. You know Little Doughnut is all we got and 2 of us have to do everything to bring her up the best way so she can bring pride to us in the future.
I'll make sure i give Mr. Feldman all the information he needs, and i'll be very honest with him cuz he's a good man and only trying to help us.
Baby you care so much about us, that I thank God everyday for bringing you into my life, You complete me baby, I can't wait to spend the rest of my lives with you and Little Doughnut, I really love you so much sweetheart.

I'm glad i made you feel better, I promise to be there to make you happy when you're sad, and someday to spend every night laying next to you my darling baby. You're the woman of my life, and i'll never leave you cuz you're the source of my happiness. I'll tell Little Doughnut you send your love and regards to her. I'll be looking forward to hear from you again my love,

Your Mike forever XXXX

Doughnut's feeling a bit frisky! I wouldn't call it NSFW but it does include the sexual act as described by maybe a robot or one of those grotesque dolls:

Quote:

Thank you Mike. Such a sweet letter. You make my heart sore every time I hear from you.

Someone I don't hear from though and haven't heard from in a long time is Little Doughnut. Honestly, Mike sometimes I think she is the most wonderful girl in the world and other times I think she's a spiteful little vindictive naughty numpty. I know girls today are far too busy texting on their gooseberries, drinking alcoplops and flashing their nip-naps to write letters but we are both going to a lot of trouble and expense for her. The least she could do is write to me and let me know all the things she has been doing and how she feels. Can you make her do that for me, Mike? Force her if necessary. If she hasn't got time to sit at the computer and write a simple email, a handwritten letter would be nice too.

Anyway lets talk about nicer things. I'm so glad that mr Feldman is sorting things out for you with the bills. I don't need to know the details but I hope you have asked for as much money as you need. You know that my purse is always open for you. Talking of things which are always open for you, Mike. I'm blushing now. I mean my legs darling. My legs are open wide to welcome you and my rubber cup and plastic daffodil are waiting for your big dinkle. I am so embarrassed now!! You know that I don't usually write such sexy things but for you Mike I am like a silly girl. Do you want me as much as I want you? Oh Mike I long for your strong arms to throw me on the bed, plug me in to the mains, (I have an extension cord) and take me all night long over and over again until you are utterly useless.

I have sent you a photo of my new daffodil that the hospital made for me. I hope you like it. It is quite realistic isn't it? [genuine plastic lady parts] I look forward to maybe getting a sexy letter from you and something from Little Doughnut too.

Lots of love and kisses,

Doughnut XXXX

Come on Mike, get jiggy with it!

Love Phil X

Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:39 pm

^^^Mike does indeed like the plastic lady parts:

Quote:

You're welcome baby, you know how much love i got for you, and I want you to know that you and Little Doughnut are the only ones i can give all my attention and care
Cuz you show me your love and care too in everyway baby. You're my pride, and my dream come true.
Little Doughnut also miss you alot and she asked me to send her regards and greetings to you and asked me to tell you that she miss you alot and can't wait until we get together as one family.
What you said about her thinking she's a naughty numpty is very funny but true, she's just that way sometimes cuz she likes to joke alot.
Baby i'm so sure that with you and me as Little doughnut's parents, we will do everything to give her the best that she'll be very proud of us cuz me and her believes so much that you will be a good mother to the little girl.

I'm also very happy that i'm getting along with Mr. Feldman very well but what he wants me to do now is to scan the bills i'm owing and send it to him, I really don't know why he needs it scanned but i'm sure he wants to show it to you sweety.

I'm so happy you have loved and cared for me this way baby, and I promise that i will love you eternally and you will be the woman i'll spend the rest of my life with forever. I really can't wait to make love to you the first day we meet eachother, that day will be the most wonderful and happiest time i've ever experienced seeing the one i'm gon spend the rest of my life with, and Little Doughnut will also be very happy to see her mom.

Baby I want you so bad right now, I want to make love to you all night long, i know it will be very soon but i really can't wait cuz i'm so overwhelmingly in love with you my darling sweetheart. I got the Daffodil you sent, and i like it baby, i can't wait to get into that slowly, gently, and passionately, I want to show you love cuz you're going to mine forever. I promise to make sure Doughnut sends you a message ok? I'll be looking forward to hear again from you my darling sweetheart....

Love you always,
Mike.

True to his word Mike writes to me pretending to be his own daughter:

Quote:

Hey Mummy, This is Susan.. How have you been doing? are you getting any better? Dad's been telling me how you and Mr. Feldman are doing your bests to make sure our debts are being paid and I thank you so much for all your care Mummy, I can't wait until this is over and we be together mummy.
You're just the best and I promise to make you and Dad proud as a good daughter would to her parents cuz you both have showed me love and care. You know i'm not very good at computers and typing so this is going to be all for now as i'll wait to hear back from you..
Lots of love to you Mummy,
Your Little Doughnut.

I'll reply tomorrow. I'm just too overcome with emotion at the moment Laughing

Love Phil X

Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:35 am

Laddo sends me the receipts:

Quote:

Good Morning Mr. Scambaiter,
How are you doing? and How's work been? I hope good.. This is a scanned invoice of the bills i'm owing the hotel as you've requested. I'll be looking forward to hear back from you again Mr. Feldman.. Thanks for everything,

Best regards,
scammer.

His receipt looks like it was done in word. At least I did mine in fireworks. I'll send him my form tomorrow. I don't do weekends Wink

Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:26 am

I send laddo the form, along with this (Bolding is mine):

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

I have received your receipt, thank you, it seems to be in order. There is one more form needed and that is the one attached to this email. It will need to printed out, filled out scanned and sent back to me. Upon recepit of this form it will be a mere formailty to send you the money you requested.

The form is a combination of fiscal and financial questions combined with character psychometric evaluation as devised by Professor (E. Terrs... Phil's idea, I liked it and went with it) (from The CSIRO, based in Canberra) which we here at have used for many years to establish candidate suitability for long term monetary aid.

So while some questions may appear to be irrelevant they are in fact necessary and will need to fill out as honestly as you can.

Barry

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 14 Aug 2011 Posts: 2

internationalchrysis wrote:

I send laddo the form, along with this (Bolding is mine):

Quote:

The form is a combination of fiscal and financial questions combined with character psychometric evaluation as devised by Professor (E. Terrs... Phil's idea, I liked it and went with it) (from The CSIRO, based in Canberra) which we here at have used for many years to establish candidate suitability for long term monetary aid.

I am new here and have been following this thread. First, off, this is an EXCELLENT bait. I just had to comment on , LOL!!! You know his third grade education stopped him as he was trying to figure out a psychometric evaluation. Just brilliant.

OOH, OOH and plastic lady parts...priceless. They have the song "I'm in love with a stripper", but I gotta tell you, I'm in love with a Doughnut. This is the work of a G-E-N-I-U-S.

Great work and thanks for the entertainment!

Belinda

Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:51 am

Hi Simali,

can you please mask if lad googles the name it may come up in a search. To do that type a square bracket [ then the word mask and then another square bracket ] at the end you do the same [/ type the word mask then ]

we don't want our lad to realise he's an Internet star Wink

welcome to eater, grab some popcorn and say goodbye to your free time. If you decide to do some baiting, grab a gmail account with fake details on it (I normally bait as a woman, despite being a man), grab a mentor and feel free to ask whatever you like, we're a friendly bunch here at eater, though it takes a strong stomach to love bait

Chrys

Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:33 am

Here's Mike's receipt from the hotel:

He did actually scan it as the tagged info proves. And it is an actual hotel in London, next to Hyde Park. Good boy, Mike. You have researched well and done some bloody work! Hmm…maybe Doughnut will pay you a visit if you don't get here soon.

Mike's very agreeable as far as his dealings with Barry:

Quote:

Hey my darling sweetheart, How are you doing today? and How's your health? I hope you're doing good.. I've missed you so much and been thinking alot about you. Little Doughnut told me how good and happy you make her feel with every message you send to her, and she told me she really can't wait for us to get together as a family..
You're always on my mind sweety, and I want you to know that as long as it is you and me, our love is going to stay strong and will last until the end of time. I never want to lose you baby, you're my everything and I promise to love you in any weather, or condition, whether good or bad cuz you have made me the happy man I am now with your love and care..
Honey, Mr. Feldman sent me a funding form to fill after I gave him a scanned copy of the bills and i'll make sure i fill it as soon as possible, get it scanned and send it back to him so he can help us get out of our debts. I also want to thank you so much for your care for me and our daughter Little Doughnut, i can't wait for us to live a happy life as a family forever. Little Doughnut told that she got your last message to her and that you shouldn't be sorry that she hasn't replied and she promised to do that tomorrow. Baby, I have to go now as i look forward to hear back from you,.

Lots of love,
Your sweet Mike.

For that Mike deserves a reward and look what Doughnut's bought him!

I send him this - pretty much guaranteed to have him mad as hell. Lads hate it when money gets spent as it means less for them. Maybe Mike will be different - who knows:

Quote:

Mike my darling husband,

I never thought it would be possible to love you more than I already do but it's true! I love you so much and Little Doughnut too of course. Mr Feldman is very efficient and good at his job and I know he will have everything sorted in the blink of an eye! He will be so much quicker than I could ever be. So at last you can relax and think about our future together.

Mike, I have been a bit rash and excitable and done something completely out of character but I hope you will be happy with me. I have bought you and Susan the most wonderful present. Mr Feldman transferred the money to the owners at the weekend and she's all ready for you and Little Doughnut to see when you get here. What do you think? I even had the owner paint her for you! . Anyway I hope you will both be happy with my gift.

Oh my I can't wait for you to take me on the high seas. So romantic and exciting. You can be the dastardly wicked evil pirate stealing treasure and I will be your captured slave that obeys your every command, polishes your cutlass every night and looks after your salty seamen!! (I'm blushing) And like a wooden leg and a hook and an old eye-patch I have two metal legs, two metal arms and only one eye too!! So I'm kind of like a modern day pirate myself!!

Mike you make me so happy I can even laugh at my hideous disfigurements.

Write soon !

I love you SOOOOOOO much.

XXXXXXX

So its ahoy and avast and *respectful salute* shiver me timbers - Mike has a new name.

Love Phil X

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 128

wow, I love this boat with his name on it... It must be real...

wonderfull
Orange Rose

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 14 Aug 2011 Posts: 2

internationalchrysis wrote:

Hi Simali,

can you please mask if lad googles the name it may come up in a search. To do that type a square bracket [ then the word mask and then another square bracket ] at the end you do the same [/ type the word mask then ]

we don't want our lad to realise he's an Internet star Wink

Ok, done

Sorry about that and thanks for the warm welcome!

Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:34 am

Thanks simali, I appreciate it.

So lad sends back the form and it's ONLY 294 by 410, making it basically unreadable. I send him this back:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

As I think I mentioned, I have to present this form to my colleagues here at for approval. And since I cannot read this, I simply cannot present this to the Board. Please rescan this form again and send to me as soon as possible. Since the form was sent to you as a standard A4 sheet, please try to rescan the form and resend as soon as possible as an A4 sheet.

I have included the original for your perusal, and I think you will see what I mean. There is some urgency in this as the next Board Meeting is Friday. we normally meet monthly to discuss matters of this nature.

Barry

That said, I did try use the zoom feature in the Opera browser and found that lad DOES in fact have a sense of humour.

As I mentioned, a few of the questions on the form are hitch-hiker's guide to the galaxy related and to the question "What's yellow and dangerous, lad answered "Shark infested custard"!!!

Though he CLEARLY mentions Douglas Adams and Bob Dylan on a couple of questions, so yes, he DID do his homework. What a pity it wasn't A4 like the form he was sent. At the very least it'll be a rescan, I think this form I sent him will see the light of day more often Wink

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 11:42 am

^^ So Mike has done some research in order to answer Chrys' form but who does a scan at 40 dpi? 72 dpi is the basic requirement of viewing something on the web and 200 - 300 dpi is best for printing! Yes he has to do it again - we all want to read it - but not surprisingly Mike wants to have a little whine:

Quote:

Hi my darling Wife,

How are you doing today? and How's your health? I hope you're getting better.. Baby, I want to thank you so much cuz i know you're doing your best to make sure you get us out of debts But i want you to know that Mr. Feldman asked me to fill a document that entailed difficult history questions, which I did but he told me he's not satisfied with it. Baby what i want to ask you Is, Why do I have to go through all this to get help from you??? You know how much i need your help and you're making Mr. Feldman give me hard times?..

Ah stop complaining, Mike, it's not like we're asking you to go on safari…

He then has the audacity to send a intrenet pic of roses and champagne and this:

Quote:

Hun am just thinking about you wish am there with you now, This just for me and you Ok Hope u Love It??

Pathetic! He gets this in return:

Quote:

Hi Darling. yes thanks for the picture of a rose and some glasses. You ask me if I love it? No baby I don't love it. I hate it. I don't want a picture I want you. You and Little Doughnut. Mike where are you and when will you get here? I'm going crazy thinking about you and I don't know how long I have left. My health isn't good darling and every day without you is like a spoon in my heart. If you are going to send a photo send one of you or susan or you and susan. Don't you think that would be a nice thing to do to cheer me up?

I don't know why Mr Feldman has asked you to do anything with forms but there must be a good reason. He does not like to waste paper and he certainly doesn't like to waste time. Honey I have given him FULL control over my finances because I want to make sure that you and Little Doughnut have everything and anything you need (in case I die) so just follow his instructions and you will be taken care of.

Oh and can I just say I am a little disappointed in you, Mike. You haven't even mentioned the gift I got for you and Little D. Sometimes you can be the most wonderful man in the world and other times you can be a typical shavenist pig.

So please don't let me down. And tell Little D to write to me. I need to have some words with her about her future the spiteful minx.

Love you XX

Mike thinks THESE are hard times? We're just getting started!

Love Phil X

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 3:17 pm

I got the better form, but the picture is FAR worse. Moot point though, as Barry had to present the 40DPI version:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

Thank you for getting back to me. As I type, it is after 1 am Saturday and if I didn't need to access the Net I wouldn't have gotten this email until later still. I had the present the document you sent me to the Board, and due to it's size it was deemed completely unacceptable.

The next Board meeting to discuss Financial matters such as yours will be held on the 18th of September (I go on leave on the 23rd). I will present your updated form to them then for your funding approval. I will also inform Ms Doughnut of this development momentarily

I hope you have a good weekend.

Barry

Oh dear, that won't make Laddo happy AT ALL!!! Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

^^very good, Chrys! Laughing

He´ll be so mad at you.

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 5:46 pm

At Phil's suggestion, I email doughnut querying (what is probably an "honest" mistake on the) Form:

Quote:

Hi Doughnut,

I know we go back a long way as friends, but I write to you in an Official capacity, not a personal one. I have attached the request for funding form as filled out by your boyfriend and our client and there does seem to be some discrepancies that I would need to sorted out before I can continue.

Also may I say for the record that Mr Scammer has been somewhat, shall I say tardy in his efforts to get the required paperwork to us. I have sent you a copy of the form for your perusal, because Mr Scammer has requested over $10,000 to be sent to him on a weekly basis. If that is the case, you will be bankrupted in less than three years. as your financial advisor (and your friend), Elena I seriously urge to reconsider that amount of cash be sent to Mr Scammer, especially on a weekly basis.

But you do not to do this immediately Doughnut. Mr Scammer was a bit late in submitting his request for Financial aid, our next meeting to discuss his financial requests will be on September 18th.

(Your friend) Barry

Let the bitching begin Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

^^did you also send this to Mike?

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:11 pm

No, Phil's going to forward it on, then use it to bitch at laddo. Otherwise I would've BCC'd him.

The idea is Phil and I are playing "good wife, bad lawyer". Doughnut is going to beg for me to reconsider having to make Laddo wait a month, at the expense of me sending Laddo a new form.

Barry's a bit Anal like that Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

Sounds interesting. Cant wait to read more.

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 7:23 pm

Not as interesting as it sounds, I'll probably steal a whole stack of questions from the $cientology personality test Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

I dont know this test yet.

Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:30 pm

You can see the form Mike filled out here:

http://i1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb377/PhillapaYerboots/document.jpg

He's quite up on his Bob Dylan lyrics!

Doughnut is not impressed, however:

Quote:

Darling Mike. Mr Feldman sent me the email below. Whay are you being slow to sort this out. I know you might not like filling in forms but this is how the modern world works! This is not the stone age. Things have to be done properly otherwise they don't work! And I know I said you are welcome to have as much money as you want but why do you need £10,000 a week! What are you going to do with that much? Honey, I know I have nearly £900,000 or it might be a bit more - Mr Feldman knows how much - but that does seem like an awful lot of money. If you and Little Doughnut are to inherit everything I want to know that you are going to be sensible and not spend it all on fast cars, champagne and wild women. You have Little Doughnut's future to think about. Don't forget £80,000 is meant to be for her education.

And tell Little Doughnut to write to me asap. She still hasn't. And you still haven't written to me about your present. Are you being ungrateful? Pull your socks up, Mike. You aren't making what may be my last days on this earth very pleasant.

Your Doughnut XX

Let's drag Mike kicking and screaming into the 21st century. Hopefully by the end he'll be longing for the peace and tranquility of a simple hut.

Love Phil X

Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:21 am

Our lad doesn't seem to be understanding that he has to wait a month:

Quote:

Ok, Thanks very much Mr. Corey. I'll be looking forward to that and hearing back from you,,

Best regards,
Scammer.

Maybe I should make it obvious! I send him this back:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

Thank you for your understanding. You are not the only one who has been made to wait a whole month before resubmission can commence. You are though the only one who seems to be patient and understanding about this.

I will let you know how you go after September 18th

Barry

Let's see if he's REALLY willing to wait a month Wink

Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:33 am

@ Phil: Doughnut has got an email from me. Wink

Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 3:17 am

@ Jeanette... YAAAAAAAAAAAY, welcome to what could the baddest bait ever! Hopefully, lad will be wishing he never met any of us by the time it over

Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:02 am

^^ Mike's going to have triple the pain - poor man, as if he hasn't suffered enough already. Laughing

He writes:

Quote:

Hey baby, How are you doing? I'm very sorry, it wasn't that i didn't want to talk about the gift but I've been feeling very bad why Mr. Feldman would let me go through alot and baby I want you to know that Mr. Feldman has got it all wrong, the 10,000 pounds is the cost of all the debts i'm owing here and I requested for him to be funding it on a weekly basis until the 10,000 pounds is all paid. I don't want you to get me wrong ok baby, I can't ask him to fund me that much when i don't owe up to that...
Baby how do you think i'm going to spend money on fast cars, or champagne when i have my daughter's future to think about? Baby i know you're mad but Mr. Feldman has got it wrong, he didn't understand what I mean, I can't ask for that much money when i don't owe up to that. About the gift, it's a very nice one, I can't wait for Boat with you, and Little Doughnut on that. I want you to know that I love you so much and i've always been grateful as you know and baby i feel very bad that you have used hard words on me because Mr. Feldman has told you the wrong thing.. Baby I'll make sure Little Doughnut writes you as i leave the computer now.. I love you and will be looking forward to hear back from you again..

Lots of love,
Your Mike..

Well that's a first. A scammer saying he wants LESS money not more! And actually, Mike it's your fault not Feldman's because you're the one who put the amount on the form and then ticked the weekly box. Glad he likes the boat though. Really thought he'd be mad. Seems like Mike is a softie!

Little Doughnut gets in on the blame game too:

Quote:

Hello Mummy, This is your daughter.. how are you doing today? ive really missed your messages and everyday i think about us getting together someday soon cuz i can't wait. dad showed me the gift you have for us, what a beautiful boat mum. i cant wait to have fun with you and dad in it. dad also told me how mr feldman got it all wrong and how he got you to be mad at dad but i want you to look at things from daddys side, and know that we cant ask for that much when we don't owe up to that and im very grateful that you and dad have planned to spend that much money for my education, i'm so proud of you mum. tell me something mummy, do you have good lake or rivers over there so we can boat together on that? i must say, i really love that present, you're the best mom, i really can't wait until our debts are paid and we be together. i love you so much.

to my sweet mummy,
your little doughnut.

Oh yes, Little Doughnut there are lakes, rivers and many other potential drowning hazards… Wink

Will post replies later

Love Phil X