Bad Mother...

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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 5:46 am

TEAM MIKE TEAM MIKE TEAM MIKE!!!

you can do it Phil we're all rooting for ya! Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:27 pm

Team Mike, Team Mike,

3 days to go.......

Hourglass party on Wednesday. BYOB.

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:21 pm

@ Big Al... You CAN"T POSSIBLY IMAGINE how drunk I plan to be on wed with the sadntimer in place Wink

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:48 pm

If he gets it it'll be an awesome accomplishment.

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:23 pm

Thanks Big Al, Chrys, Muzungu and all those reading this thread. We're not out of the woods yet! Mike's gone quiet again. He sent this two days ago:

Quote:

It's Ok Doughnut, I'm just sad that you can't help us with the money you have left with you and you keep saying you love us. There's no love when you can't be there for the one you love. Get him tied to your bathroom and put a tape in his mouth again. I'm still expecting you to help me and Little D with some money please I'm begging you sweetheart. Why are you doing this to me and still telling me you love? how would you feel if i was the one doing this For you Love,, Love You so much

Mike ur wife

I replied:

Quote:

Oh Mike I AM doing my best I was just waiting for your advice I don't want to do anything wrong. But you take so long to reply to me that's why it takes days and days to do something. You only send one email a day. I always want to write to you 20 times a day! but I don't because I know you probably wouldn't like that. So I try to be like you.

Darling! I spent a whole day and a half trying to change the password and now I've done it! And I did it all by myself. Aren't you proud of me? You better be proud of me because I worked REALLY hard. Dr Crotum said it should only take 30 seconds but I didn't want his help I wanted to show you I can take care of myself.

Sadly the banks are shut now because it is the weekend. But I will try and WU you as soon as they are open again.

But Team Mike don't normally "work" weekends so answer came there none. Taking things into her own hands Doughnut decided to venture outside this morning and sends Mike this:

Quote:

Dear Mike, I did everything you told me and went to do a WU. I was scared to leave awake even tied to a chair with my panties in his mouth so I put a peg on his nose until he passed out and then I counted one hippopotamus, two hippopotamus, three hippopotamus, you know so that I was counting proper seconds and I counted up to ten hippopotamuses or is hippopotamisses?

I just looked it up. It's actually hippopotami although you can use hippopotamuses if you want. Anyway, I digress. I counted up to ten hippopotamuses/hippopotami or it might have been 15 hippopotamuses/hippopotami I can't quite remember but before I got to the last hippopotamus he started to go blue so I took the peg off his nose and I think he's still breathing I haven't checked yet because I'm too frightened. Anyway, after all the takeaways there was £500 left and I've kept £200 for this weeks takeaways and some other things I need. You know lady things for down there in my daffodil. I need quite a lot of those. But that left £300 to send to you but I had to pay extra money just to send it!! I can't believe how expensive it is to do a WU. It cost £9.90 so that means I sent you £290.10. They gave me a receipt. Which bit do you want my darling because it's covered in numbers.

Have you emailed the bank yet? I hope so. We need that money darling!!

I love you. Big kisses to you and Little D.

XXX

I hope Mike isn't too disappointed that it's not the original £1000. It's his own fault for being lazy and keeping a hungry girl waiting.

Love Phil X

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:34 pm

C'mon team Mike, don't wuss out on us now.

Team Phil needs an Hourglass.

Two to go......................

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:14 pm

Quote:

. ....I counted up to ten hippopotamuses/hippopotami ....

I wonder up to how many hippopotami your pet is going to have to count to keep his head from exploding - especially when he finds out that some of that drippy takeaway grease has stained the WU receipt, making a couple of those numbers impossible to read - necessitating that Doughnut make another trip to WU to have them retrieve a legible copy of the MTCN ..

I fear that the longer it takes him to respond, the larger the grease stain - and the more numbers will be illegible. Poor Mike. with $ in the system he surely can't quit now.

I eagerly await the results ... off to see what made my own pet feel the need to send a 1.1meg e-mail ... twice. (edit : it was a bank account - !! who said Monday's are bad, lol)

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:42 pm

I have a love lad turned gold lad that is either going to be iced for a day then receive a very bad slap or going to get one tonight depending on how I feel when I get home.

Anybody got a coin???

I call heads...........

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Fantastic stuff Team Mike!

Quote:

Anybody got a coin???

I call heads...........

I flipped one for you and you won! A double head quarter I found quite a few years back.

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:51 pm

Well that was 100% risky free. LOL.

I love it when I win.

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:52 pm

So it's Hourglass Eve Day. All eyes are on Team Mike's bench wondering if they show up or Wuss out. The stadium is quiet pending the announcement that the team has arrived.

Tick

Tock

Tick.........

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 128

this is really exciting...

C'mon team Mike - you can make it!

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:40 pm

Well Orange I can see coach Yerboots down on the field. He's sweating bullets while waiting for team Mike to show. It's been well documented that the two teams have been talking smack for almost a year in anticipation of this historic match. I just can't see team Mike giving up the ghost without making just one more big push for victory.

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:48 pm

omgomgomgomgomg *teeters on edge of seat* c'mon Mike! Your beloved is in an agony of anticipatory daffy-down-dilly leakage!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 30 Jan 2012 Posts: 1

Hello all I'm new here.
Following this thread has had me falling about laughing it is brilliant.
I don't think i would have the confidence to bait myself but is it acceptable to chip in with ideas for other peoples baits?

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:59 am

1 year ago I met a lovely man from Texas called Mike who had a lovely little daughter called Susan:

Quote:

Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2011 03:13:26 -0800 (PST)
From: Mike Connor <[email protected]>
Subject: Hello
To: Elena XXXX

Yes baby that my lovely daughter i do love her so much, cos she is the only
one i have in life Susan always making me happy she is child she is
my wife she everything have in life,
Thanks for your mail Hope too hear back from You again

Mike

2 days ago I got this:

Quote:

Hello sweetheart, I'm so glad you got some money sent to me and Little D and i'm glad you're making sure Dr Crotum doesn't move out of the house. I want you to give me all the informations in the reciept given to you at WU, i'll be needing the informations to get the money here, I mean the Money transfer control Number (MTCN) which is about 10 digits, Sender's name and Address.,,,Don't forget the details so i can go and get the money you sent us first thing tomorrow. I love you so much and Want you to know that i'll do everything to help you get your money back from the Bank manager. Love you baby, Take care of yourself..

Yesterday I sent this:

Quote:

hello my darling

Thank you for your kind words and very useful advice. I have the receipt my sweet baby wife and here is the MNTC. You say it is about 10 numbers so I suppose you mean it is either 9 or 10 or could be 11. I definitely have 9 numbers. There might be 10 but the receipt does have some chicken vindaloo sauce on it - I'm sorry but I was so hungry I just ate it straight out of the foil and it was dripping everywhere. Some even went down between my breast-buds. Maybe you could lick it out!! Oooo I'm so naughty. Anyway here is the number. Please email me tomorrow to let me know you have got it ok.

845712065

I love you Mikey!!!!!

Your Doughnut.

Today one year later I got this:

Quote:

Sweetheart, this is not the correct MTCN you just gave me, It should be 10 numbers not 9. Please you will have to check the reciept very well and give me the complete 10 digit numbers or go back to WU and tell them the numbers they gave you is not complete. MTCN can never be 9 numbers but 10 and I want you to also give me the sender's name on the reciept they gave you . I will be expecting your quick reply. I love you so much Doughnut..

Thanks everyone.

Thanks for the food stain suggestion, Muzungu.

Welcome Henry Hill - and to answer your question: see above.

As always,

Love Phil X

edit -obfuscate name

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:41 am

AWESOME!!!!!

Congrats Phil!

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

Happy 1st Anniversary! Many happy returns. happy crowd

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:23 pm

Fuggen Awesome!!!!!! Congrats on the sandtimer. I'm honoured to have been a part of it!!! My your lad burn -er- love you for another year!!! Dancing Banana

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Congratulations Phil! Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:01 pm

Happy Anniversary !! I wonder if Mike remembers, lol. yqw for the food stain - Doughnut would have to have a food stain on pretty much anything that slid thru her pudgy little hands. I hope she bought a new whisk oh her foray into town, lol. Poor doc. If he doesn't survive, would Mike be charged as an accessory?

Congrats, Phil. Looking forward to the continued adventures !