Bad Mother...

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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:32 am

^^Here's the "naughty man" letter Doughnut sent to Barry:

Quote:

It has come to my attention that not only are you lying and cheating but that you haven't paid the hotel like you promised and that you are trying to kill me and keep all my money for yourself. I also have information that you are going to try and poison me sometime in the future so I hereby declare our financial relationship null and void, ipso facto, and flagrante delicto. So give me my gaddam money!

Love

Team Mike replies - and it looks like as we get closer to payday or maybe because it's taking so long - we've been progressed up the chain of command. Looking back at some of the early emails it was definitely lowly ladspeak. This almost eloquent letter has the aroma of Oga:

Quote:

Hi sweetheart, i'm glad to hear from you. How are you doing today? I hope good.. I want you to know that i am very happy that you're in good health condition now. Your lawyer Mr Feldman sent me the response he gave to you, I read it and still think he's not being genuine. Come to think of it, Is it possible to pay a debt that's suppose to be given to Caesar hotels to Derby hotel? I wish i had known before now that he's only been nothing but a liar, I still want you to be careful with him.
My phone's having problem until i get it fixed, I wish i could hear your sweet lovely voice my sweetheart. How can your phone be smarter than you cuz it's called a smart phone? sometimes you could be very very funny my love (smiles).
You know what baby? I don't know how money gram operates and i wouldn't want to make any mistakes that's why i'm pleading with you to please look for a western union store, or there could be western union in banks and send the money, that way i will not make any mistakes trying to get it.
I will send an e-mail to Dr Crotum, and tell him as you have asked me to, I really don't want you to get in trouble my love. I hope to hear from you again and please try and find a western union store or you could find it in any bank and send the money to me so i can get things done and we can be together before Xmas. Our daughter wants me to send her greetings to you. I love you so much my wife Doughnut, Take care

Yesterday wrote to Mike:

Quote:

Hello Mike!

I am so sorry. I have just discovered that your emails have been going into my junk spam. I have now reinstalled you as one of my favourites. I am glad to hear you will be with her this month but does that mean you have not been with her since she left? I do hope she is alright. Please tell her that I am always available for her anytime. Day or night. Come wind or rain or hell and highwater.

You know Mike I really miss her. She is a wonderful, vibrant woman. I just wish I was you instead of her therapist. You're a lucky bastard, Mike and I mean that in a good way not to insult you.

Keep in touch. I really would love to hear how Elena is doing.

Thank you and hope to hear from you soon.

Stephen

Mike replied:

Quote:

Hello , how are you doing? and how's everything been? I hope good. I'm very glad to hear from you again after sometime. I want to thank you so much for taking good care of Elena while she was at your hospital, she's doing very good now as she assures me and she wants you to do her a favor and write to the man who deals with her bank accounts that she is well and no longer have mental health issues, i hope this will make you happy doctor. She told me the man's name is and his e-mail is <snip>, you can send her a message to know more.. I look forward to hear back from you
Best regards,
Mike.

Well looks like Mike is happy to be batted back and forth between the various characters of Team Doughnut. Let's hope he doesn't get downhearted when the Dr recommends another stay in hospital.

Love Phil X

Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 2:50 pm

The Doctor is in. Unfortunately, so is Mike who is "accidently" CC'd the following when the Doctor contacts Doughnut:

Quote:

Dear Ms Startz,

I have received an email from your husband Mike asking me to communicate with Mr Amage at your bank and presumably give him some form of assurance that you are mentally stable enough to have your funds released to you.

Firstly, shouldn't this be Mr Feldman's job? As far as I know he is the person who has right of obescience over your fiscal undertakings. However if you require it and authorise it then of course I will be more than happy to aquiesce.

Secondly, are you content with Mike - is all going well? You know that if there is anything I can do for you I will. You are a very special woman Elena. I hope you don't mind if I call you Elena. I'm worried about you. I care very deeply about you - I just wish that you were not my patient and I your Doctor. Why do things have to be so complicated? Of course, I know that you love Mike but I really feel that he might not be the man for you. After all, you still haven't met him have you? Perhaps you won't be right for each other?

Oh Elena, those sessions we had together in the hospital when I awakened your sexuality and held, as you so poetically called them, your "breast-buds" in my hands were special times and I can't stop thinking about them. I can't stop thinking about you. My wife Nancy just doesn't understand me and I really think we could be wonderful together.

I'm sorry for going on like this Elena but the thought of Christmas with Nancy - having to force a smile as I pretend to enjoy eating her dry, old turkey - and I'm not talking about the dinner - feels me with revulsion.

I hope you feel the same way about me as I do about you and might consider me as the man in your life instead of Mike.

I look forward to your reply.

Dr Steve X

Mike's being too lazy. I reckon it might be time for the LOVE doctor to make a house call!

Love Phil X

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:35 am

Oops. Mike doesn't like the Dr's advances!

Quote:

Hello sweetheart, how are you doing today? I hope good. I saw the message Dr Crotum sent to you, expressing how he feels about you as wanting both of you to be together and also letting you know that i could not be the right man for you. I want you to start seeing all the people who works for you, i mean your doctor and lawyer as people who want to use you for the money you have.

Really Mike? D'ya think? I'm glad you're here to warn me!

Quote:

Come to think of it, how can a married man not be satisfied with his wife?

I'm not touching that can of worms

Quote:

why can't the doctor and lawyer let you and I be? They don't have any idea how long we've been in this relationship together

Actually I think they do seeing as how one of them is my co-baiter and the other is me - it's 323 days and counting Foooool!!

Quote:

and they suddenly want to break us apart so they can have everything you got. You really have to be careful baby, I want you to explain to me if you really love me and will never break my heart. Our daughter Little Doughnut sends her regards to you

Good job Mike - and thanks for not mentioning the money transfer. I've forgotten too!

Love Phil X

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 4:58 pm

Time for Barry to get arrested. I send Mike a copy of the fake Magazine and an email I've been sitting since well before Xmas:

Quote:

Dear Clients,

As you are no doubt aware, since it has made just about every news network in the country, last night my Law Firm partner Barry Feldman was arrested by the Australian Federal Police on charges of Money Laundering and Racketeering.

I believe these accusations are false, and was amazed as you were over his arrest. Barry was always nothing but a hard working colleague to me, and to see this happen saddens and shocks me. We will contest the charges Barry is facing and once he is exonerated, we will look at seeking a financial compensation, over the loss of work we believe will happen due to these charges, as well as the besmirching of our good name.

As well as fighting the charges Barry faces, we here at Feldman and Haim will continue to work on your cases as normal during these enturbulating times. Once Barry faces court, we will post Bail so that Barry can continue the fine work he has done over the years on his behalf. 2011 was not a good year for Barry, what with the Car crash and now this. Hopefully 2012 will see some improvements. Barry does not deserve this and to not be able to spend Christmas with his wife and young family has broken Barry's heart. Barry has given SO much to the Community of Elaine, it's time the Community showed it's love back to him, now that he needs your support.

If you have any queries, I will be happy to help you and can be reached on the contact details below. I will let you know when Barry has been released on Bail.

Phil has a copy of the Magazine, am hoping he can post it up for all to see

Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 1:25 pm

^I certainly can Chrys!

Here's the correspondence between Mike and Doughnut over the past week or so not including christmas. We both had a rest. After quite a bit of Christmas cheer (10.7% ABV Limited Edition bottled stout aged for 6months in Glenlivet single malt oak barrels followed by red wine and possibly a damson vodka) I write - quite a lot:

Quote:

Mike my lovely wife : ) I have just done a log. Now I see the message from . How did you see it too? Mike I don't know what to say? I DO NOT LOVE HIM. Only you my darling. You are the one who has always been here for me. You are the one who has torched my heart. You are the one with the colossal dinkle.

To be honest my love I don't really remember much about my time with . He was giving me a lot of sedative drugs. I know I was very unwell - especially in my sexy downstairs lady parts and my sexy lady upstairs parts as well at least I thought I was because the Doctor explained that it was just in my head and that I still had all my legs and arms and lady parts and a whole face. So I am very grateful to him for making me better so that we can be together but I have a dim memory like a dream that while I was sleepy he would talk to me about my breast-buds and nip-naps and my daffodil and while he was talking it was like he was actually touching them.

So I don't know if he is an angel from heaven and a brilliant doctor with so much compassion and love in his heart to cure all the poor women of their sexual anomalies or simply a pervert who should be struck off the medical register for gross malpractice. All I know is that my daffodil is for you and you alone and if he's done anything to spoil my very first time making love with you when you take me in your power arms and dinkle me right up the flower bed then I will legally sue him from here to kingdom gone. And I won't be using to do it!!!! Shall I write to him or will you write to him? What do you think is best?

I will be very careful to listen to what you say baby. You are my man who I trust and love more than anything. Tell that while I appreciate her regards I think that as I haven't heard from her in such a long time that she should write to me - especially if she want's those cosmetic surgery vouchers for Christmas. Young girls can be so lazy can't they. Tell her to pull her finger out of her tulip and wipe the smile of her face there are other people in this world apart from her.

I love you both so much.

Your husband : ) Doughnut XXX

Mike says:

Quote:

I'm glad to read from you my darling sweet husband Doughnut. I just want you to be very careful about and cuz i don't think they have good plans for you baby... What's going on? whats keeping you baby? why haven't you sent the money? You know how much i need this money but you don't seem to wanna help me, and it's making me feel real bad.

I reply:

Quote:

Oh my darling I am so sorry. I completely forgot the money!! I am such a silly moo cow. Please forgive me. I will go today and send it to you. Honey I am scared that you aren't coming for Christmas and that I will have to spend it alone. I feel very sad. rang me this morning and said he was coming round to see me as he was worried about me. I told him that I was ok but that I was upset that we aren't together and he said that was good news to him! But I meant I was upset that you and me weren't together not me and him. I don't know what to do. I'll just have to explain everything when I see him.

I do hope you can get here soon my darling wife.

I miss you and Little Doughnut so much.

XXXX

Mike says tersely:

Quote:

It's Ok, I've heard you my husband Doughnut. But why haven't you sent the money yet? You're the one who's not making things happen here. What's still keeping you from sending the money?

I don't know Mike. What IS still keeping me from sending the money? I'll think of something Very Happy

Love Phil X

Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:28 am

How about you tried, but the money was frozen by Feldman and Haim, as she hasn't filled in the correct paperwork to have her funds returned to her.

Plus with Barry in Jail, you don't feel comfy dealing with Yitzak as he's made sexual advances towards you in the past (despite being in another country Wink

)

Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:48 pm

^ Yup. Sorry to hear things are going bad at Feldman, Chrys, but they're bad at Doughnut's too!

A few days ago I wrote to Mike in a bit of a panic:

Quote:

Mike. Help me I am scared and don't know what to do. came over on christmas day with a present which he said was for me and he came into the house and he was holding a box and he said for me to take the lid off and close my eyes and put my hand inside and try and guess what it was so I did and there was something inside the box and I was squeezing it and feeling it but I didn't know what it was and he said keep trying and so I did and it took forever and he was laughing and making mmm noises and eventually I opened my eyes

and it was the doctor's dinkle in the box and he had made a hole in the box and put his dinkle through the hole so that I was feeling his dinkle!! I screamed and then he grabbed me and tried to kiss me so I smacked him over the head with a lamp and he fell and landed on the coffee table and knocked himself out and cut his head and I tied him up and put him in the chair and put tape on his mouth like in the films and for a few days he just struggled and went to the toilet right where he was sitting in the dining room.

I've just been sat here watching him the whole time so sorry I haven't emailed you or been to send the money I'm too frightened to sleep I'm too scared to do anything and now he just seems to be asleep a lot and theres quite a lot of blood on him and I dont know what to do I'm scared I might have killed him I tried calling your telephone but it still doesnt work and now I see that Barry has been arrested. I have no one else to turn to Mike. Can you help me and tell me what I should do?

Doughnut

Mike replied with some sound advice:

Quote:

You know what baby? I don't want you to be afraid, you will just have to keep him inside your house, i don't think he's dead and don't want you to believe he is, so let your mind be at rest. Now, you will have to go and send the money so i can quickly fix things here so me and your daughter can come to you then i will fix for you. But don't forget, if you find out his not dead, we will report him to the police for trying to assault you sexually. I don't want you to let anything keep you from sending the money this time baby cuz i'm not going to be happy as I want to come and be with you and our daughter. Hope to hear back from you, I love you my husband Doughnut.

So I did what he said and kept him for another few days:

Quote:

My darling Mike

Thank you for being so calm and helping me let my mind be at rest. I have done what you said and kept him here in the house for three days. I think because he hasn't had anything to eat or drink since christmas day and because the wound on his head isn't healed and still bleeds a little he must be very weak. I was able to poke him with a stick and he just groaned. I was also able to get his wallet. And with the money that was in it and the money I had it all comes to £674 and some change. I am sorry that it isn't the £1000 but I will try and get more as soon as my account is free from Feldman. I don't really want to deal with Mr Haim now because he is a bit creepy and I don't like him but I will do evrything I can to get my fortune back for you and Little Doughnut.

Darling I have put the money in an envelope and lucky there is a post box right outside so I can drag over to the door and still watch him while I post the money to you. What address would you like me to use to send the money darling?

I must go now Dr has fallen over.

Your darling Doughnut XXX

I wonder if Mike knows the best way of disposing of a body?

Love Phil X

Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:04 pm

^^^
Hahahahahahaha!

This bait just gets better and better!!!

jump_4_joy

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:09 am

That was SO awesome Phil, it brought a smile to my dial! Thank f*ck you're working for good and not evil!!! Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:00 pm

^Thanks Chrys and Dya! Doughnut's not finished with Mike yet! I'm holding out for the anniversary now...

Funny that with all that's happened Mike just wants to get all lovey-dovey and then give me his address:

Quote:

I wish the people around me saw you and accepted us being together, because I don't think I could live a day knowing that you are not in my life. I know that anyone that tried to replace you would only be compared to you in my mind, and I know they could never live up to you in my eyes. Every time I look Your Pics I know that is where I want to live and die, and every time you hold In a Dream I don't want you to let go because that is the only place I feel safest.I pray that you will carry my love for you in your heart while you are gone, and I look forward to the day when we can be together and spend the rest of my life with you.. I love you more than you think and your love will always been in my heart baby.. So sweetheart Just make sure you get the money send This Week am not happy with you i just wish i Could be with you in person now, Pls Honey make me happy so i can be with you with your Lovely Girl Susan Okay,,

where too send the money too,,money too*Name... Mike Connor, Address... 30 Leicester Square, City... London, Country.... United Kingdom....

From Your lovely Wife Mike

Well I'm sorry but that's just a load of cut n paste so I treat it with the contempt it deserves and ignore him.

He sends the following day:

Quote:

Honey make sure you get the money send am just thinking of you wish am there with u love but get it send pls I love you so much love

Pathetic. But he gets this reply:

Quote:

My dear darling sweetest Mike,

Do not worry I sent the money to the address just like you told me so please come to help me as soon as you can. is just still sitting on the chair with his tongue hanging out - the dirty dog and no better than he should be. I let him watch a bit of television last night but even though it was a nice documentary about goats he wasn't interested and didn't open his eyes once.

What should I do, MIke? Will you tell me what I should do? I really think he might be dead and I killed him!!

I hope you can help - I need you more than ever. Please don't let me down.

Doughnut XX

PS. I am worried about my fortune because is the only one who can get Mr Amage at the bank to release all the funds back to me but I'm sure you'll think of something because YOU ARE MY HERO!!!! XXXXX

I'm looking forward to the 'D'oh' moment when he realises what I've done with the money.

Love Phil X

edit - to mask names

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 2:44 pm

Mike doesn't really register anything other than the cash being sent:

Quote:

Baby I will be there with you as soon as i get the money cuz i haven't gotten it. Did you send it through western union? If yes, send me the details i need to get the money here so I can be there to fix Dr Crotum. But for now, do not let any visitors in your house until i'm there... I hope to hear back from you Doughnut and don't be long with giving me the details to get the money as soon as possible.. I love you so much

Hee hee. NO VISITORS! I'll reply on Monday. He can stew over the weekend.

Love Phil X

edit - duplicate post

Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:31 am

Wow. Mike puts in a couple of extra hours and emails me on a Sunday!

Quote:

-hun I promise you as soon u get the money send too me I will be there with u in person ok baby am just thinking of u wish am there with u now love, get the money send by this week pls hun am really missed you so much baby make sure u get it send okay have a lovely nite and be good mike love you

I don't bother to reply until today:

Quote:

Hi darling.

I already told you I sent the money to you baby in the post like we agreed to. I sent it to the address you gave me in London. Why are you saying that you didn't get it? Oh Mike what's going on? What's happening? Where are you? Why hasn't Little Doughnut written to me for months? Where's my money? Where's the beef? Why is so quiet?

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Come on Mike! Get off your lazy arse and help a poor woman in love with a corpse in her house. Surely you must have some advice?

Love Phil X

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:11 am

How long do you give Doughnut before a neighbour complains about the smell, and she becomes latest killer!!! Mike of course will be needed to get her out of jail Wink

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 10:53 am

^I don't know Chrys! Maybe she should bury him in the back garden? I'm hoping once we clear up the confusion Mike might at last offer some practical advice. For the moment though he's a bit peeved, poor lamb:

Quote:

Did I not ask you to send the money via western union money transfer? But you just did it your own way. Sometimes you make me feel sad cuz you don't follow instructions at all, If you were the one who needed help from me and i'm not doing anything, how's it gonna make you feel?.. Go back and get your money and resend it through western union if you really want me to come and help you fix and for us to be together. I don't want you to get in trouble but you're the one who is tryna do things your own way. I asked you to send money through western union but you did it your own way and now you're asking why i say i didn't get it.

Go back, get your money, resend through western union to my name and address as i have given you and give me the details i need to get the money. Little Doughnut hasn't written you because she thinks you have what it takes to help us but you don't want to, so she's not happy with you at all until you become a good person to me and your daughter. Hope to hear back from you Doughnut

But as we know it's too late for WU. I write:

Quote:

Oh Mike.

I don't know anything anymore I am REALLY confused and scared and need you more than anything. I said I was sending the money I said there was a post box outside and I asked you if I should send the money to the address in London and you just said yes send the money so I did. Why can't you just go to the address and get it? I need you Mike I want you to be with me so much. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get more cash to send to you? There isn't any more in the house. I can't go out. What if someone comes? All my money is in the bank. And only can tell the bank manager to release my funds.

Mike. I have an idea. You have to pretend to be . If you send a message to my bank manager telling him that I'm not sick anymore then he will move the money into my account. OR what if he moved it into YOUR account then you would have all the money and we wouldn't need to worry. I trust you Mike. I believe in you. I know you wouldn't cheat me or let me down. I forget how much it is but I think it's over £2 million. I want you to be in charge of it and then I won't need to have anything to worry about ever again. Let me know if you are ok with contacting at the bank as . I know it's a lot to ask my darling but I can't think straight at the moment and need you to take charge and take care of everything.

Your weak and feeble wife, who loves you so much

Doughnut XXX

PS Tell Little Doughnut she's a harpy whose breast buds will stay the same size they are now because I tore up her Christmas present and that when I see her I'm going to cut her hair off with blunt scissors.

Come on Mike! It's time for you to get creative.

Love Phil X

Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:49 am

Hoorah Mike sends 3 emails in a row. Firstly:

Quote:

Hun i have nothing to do you just have too get the money back and send it True via western union i told you this before you get the Money send.. i can't stop thinking of you wish am there with you It as been a long Time now.. [True Mike. very true]
Oh my god i really need my wife so much Honey just try your best and get the money send again pls i know you do care and have feeling for me I love you so much and your love will always in my heart Love Pls get it send again Let me be there with you so everything can be aright Love,

Your Lovely Husband Mike

Then Little Doughnut sends me a message with subject Love you Mum. The important word there is mum as you will see:

Quote:

Mum I love you so much and you will always be my Mum i love you more than you Think Mum, We can stop thinking of you Mum, i really want to be there with you Mum, Mum get the money send too daddy and Let get our Flight Booking Too You Mum, make me happy and let me be there with u Mum

Love You so much Mum

From Susan..

Then I believe someone higher up in Team Mike steps in to take control and sends a message to gladden my heart:

Quote:

Doughnut, i believe you must have seen your daughter's message and I also asked her to send another message from me to you cuz i felt weak to type then but now i read the message and think i should let you understand it clearly.

You see baby? i first asked you to send the money via western union and i believe you know what that is, but you told me you don't have western union around and i told you that you will find it in banks and send it, i never asked you to send me money through post office, that's not a good idea to me.

You are the one i love, and i wouldn't want you to get in trouble, you can see how you trusted your health and money to the wrong people, I mean Feldman and . Now i want you to know that you can go out and get your money back, all you have to do is just lock in the bathroom and lock the entrance of your house when you're going to get the money back from the post office you sent it from so nobody will go inside the house until you're back.

I promise to help you with my best to pretend to be so we can get all your money from the bank account but what you will do for me is that you will open a Googlemail account with full name, send me the e-mail address and password and i will do the messaging. I love you so much baby, and I hope we succeed it all... I will be looking forward to hear back from you... Your sweetheart,

Mike...

Oh sweet. Now is there any extra pain that can be meted out in the setting up of this email account? I'd love someone who knows about these things to set up an account for Mike to use that we control and hopefully get all kinds of info on him. I'll post this as a request in the Help forum too.

Well done Mike! Get your lab coat on because the bank manager is bound to have some questions for you!

Love Phil X

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Jan 2012 Posts: 36

This has to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. I am looking forward to the next installment.

Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 6:42 am

what you could do is make him explain how to set it up. go through each step one email at a time, and because she's doughnut, maybe she won't be the brightest and literally have him talk you through it, ideally in chat so that she can mistype questions, put him on hold for a bit while you go and make coffee, and misunderstand a lot of what he says.

From what I can see, as long as he doesn't change the password on us, we can see what he's been doing. We need to click on the User's Name given to the account. So if I click on , go down to account settings, there is a button marked web history. click on that and we get a list of things that account has tried to search. The oldest search Barry's account has done was Aug 13th last year.

Hope this helps,

Chrys

Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 9:39 am

^^ Thanks Welshcake - hopefully there's much more to come from Mike and Little D!

@Chrys - I agree about playing dumb for a bit but it would be frustrating to have these guys at our mercy with a compromised email account only to have them change the password. I'd really like to have something that I can have access to regardless what they do. Unfortunately no one in Help has posted in the thread.

Guess I need to do some research.

Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:42 pm

Mike's been in touch - he obviously thinks it's a good idea to impersonate the doctor:

Quote:

Awww yea and I'm thinking so much about you too. We can't wait to meet you my darling sweetheart. You just have to relax your mind until i'm there and we'll fix ... You know what? make sure you do everything as i have asked you... Go to the post office and get your money back, and open a google mail account with 's name so i can e-mail the man in charge of your money in the bank.. I love you and would like to do everything in my power to help you.. Take care my sweetheart

I wonder if it IS such a good idea though especially as I've opened a new Doughnut gmail account as well as a doctor account and linked the two so I'm in control. I explain my actions to him:

Quote:

My darling Mike.

It is really hard to set up the google because I am not good with computers remember I told you my phone was more clever than me and when I tried I made the computer go bad and lost all my emails to you and from you and all your letters and photos.Oh Mike I lost everything! And the account is gone now and everything. I don't have any photos from you at all now and that makes me REALLY sad. I am so upset about it and have cried and cried. was just sat there and I think he was laughing at me so I made him cry too by using some pliers I found in the cupboard and a spatula from the kitchen then I made make me a new email account and give me an access into an account for him.

I don't know how it works but before I put the tape back on his mouth and put him in the bathroom like you said he says that [technical description] then you will be using his email!! and you can email my bank manager and pretend to be him to get to transfer the funds. But be careful my love to try and sound like my doctor so he will agree to transfer all the money.

[Details of the various emails and the login and password for the new gmail acc]

I hope you can understand all this because I don't really know what it all means but if you need to know more or have any questions please tell me and I'll get the answers for you with my spatula.

I love you Mike. I know all this will work out fine because you are such a clever and good man. I trust you. I really want you my darling.

Doughnut. XXX

PS. The Post Office say I have to make a claim form for the missing letter and they will refund me the postage and up to £46 because I didn't send the letter by registered post so even though I sent nearly £700 they will give me £46.46 and the head office will decide and contact me within two to three weeks. What should I do?

So we'll see how it goes. I know it breaks the rule of not working harder than your lad but this one's special and it's nearly our anniversary! Very Happy

Love Phil X

PS If anyone's thinking isn't the doctor supposed to be dead? well I decided he wasn't because he's more useful to me that way. Or maybe he's not there at all - just another figment of Doughnut's sex-starved imagination. In real life he's actually at his office. That would be the fantasy real life inside the real life fantasy not the fantasy Doughnut's fantasy. I think.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Poor Mikey! He just can't quite reach them dollars!

Every time I write to the Mike that Welshcake posted I think of this thread and try to use some of this on him. Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 28 Dec 2011 Posts: 1

It just keeps getting better and better!!! LMAO!!

Thanks Dr. Phil!! ....You always know how to put a smile on my face!!
$eriously

Here is a doughnut inspired token of my appreciation Smile

Gotta love a girl who can pull off wearing a .

Music:
http://youtu.be/_4IRMYuE1hI

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 28 Mar 2010 Posts: 8

i spent an entire night reading this thread and i went from Very Happy

to

to

to

to

.

team doughnut, you are my inspiration!!

i used to play around with scammers myself whenever i got one of these really obvious emails, but before discovering this forum a couple years ago i could not imagine that some heros do it that professionally and in such an awesome way. all the time i was reading this thread i always expected the next post to be "sorry, guys, i have exaggerated a little too much, he realized that he was fooled, the bait is over" - but no, the greed apparently makes these lads completely blind no matter what ridiculous sh*t one tells them. well, good for us!!

happy baiting and thanks for sharing dougnut's story!!

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:50 am

Welcome to eater Allana. It does take someone with a strong stomach to play around with love lads. Hopefully you can join us in our evil plot to waste the lovelad's time. Twisted Evil

Phil was kind enough to let me be involved with this and I had a GREAT time messing with Mike! Cool

But it doesn't surprise me (anymore) the lads don't blink at our stupid antics. In my other baits, I use a made disease called an , usually followed by . They've never batted an eyelid

oh yeah, say goodbye to your free time Wink

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:25 am

Thanks everybody! Welcome allana and nice photochop $seriously - the spatula is a nice touch Very Happy

I have some sad news though.

I think I broke Mike.

I have not heard from him for nearly a week. Nothing. I sent a couple of short pleading emails asking for help and wondering why he'd abandoned me but to no avail.

Maybe Doughnut posting £700 in cash was the straw that broke the goat's back. But I think we might need to prepare ourselves for the worst.

I'm upset because it's only about 2 weeks away from our 1 year anniversary and I can't believe I've been dumped just before qualifying for a trophy.

Hopefully I'll have better news soon. Thank you for your support.

Love Phil X

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:44 pm

Hopefully he's just being a lazy sack of crap and you'll get your sandtimer! I was honoured to be able offer any assistance I could