Bad Mother...

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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:49 am

I gets me a message from Sylvester at the hotel:

Quote:

Thanks very much for your message Mr Feldman, it's so good to hear from you again. I'm very sorry for not giving a quick response, i'd just been busy lately.. So please Mr Feldman, are you ready to pay the debts Mr Scammer is owing the hotel? Cuz i really am not happy about everything that's happening, i thought it was help i did for Mr Scammer and now everything is coming back to me. Please i will like to know if you want to pay the debts and will give you the details you need to transfer the money.... Hope to hear back from you

Best regards,
Sylvester L

On the one hand, I want him to suffer, on the other, the possibility of another piggy IS tempting.... what to do, what to do...

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:59 pm

I get this from our laddo:

Quote:

You just need to help me out am not happy here pls. i do need your help

For some reason he seems to think I can help him. ETA: My Reply:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

Thank you for your short (yet succinct) email. To explain the position of as best as I can, while we can appreciate the predicament you are currently in, right now there are many questions that need to be answered about your stay at Caesar Hotel.

Derby Hotel Management in Barcelona are adamant that your Mr asloscammer is a fake, no matter what I tell them will shake them of this belief. Derby Management has rejected outright the receipt you sent me, claiming their own receipts look nothing like the one you submitted.

In an effort to get these queries sorted, I have added another staff member to look into this matter, solely because of your current situation. She believes that Mr alsoscammer may in fact be a fraud, and that we may be able to get a retrial for you based on the entrapment clause I mentioned in a previous email to you.

Dr has been in touch and says that there has been SOME improvement, but also has indicated that you are unwilling/unable to help him in the efforts to cure Ms Doughnut. Let me make this perfectly clear Mr Scammer. As a family friend as well as a client Ms Doughnut means a lot to both myself and Yitzak, and your unwillingness to help your will reflect in any of our future decisions about your finances.

I await word from both yourself AND Dr on Ms Doughnut's health.

Barry

THAT'S helping, right??? Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2011 8:20 am

^^Go on Chrys lure Mike further into your web of lawyer-litigation! Very Happy

The doctor is getting a bit tired of Mike's excuse that he can't do anything because he's in gaol so sends this:

Quote:

Good morning Mr Connor.

I don't know if you will receive this but I thought I would give you an update. Elena is feeling much better - she no longer believes she is a robot and she has started to make the first steps towards realising that she is a beautiful woman with lovely soft skin. I didn't lie to her but also I didn't tell her where you are. I'm the psychologist Mr Connor you are the convicted felon I think I know what is best for Elena's mind not you.

It was a shame you got yourself into so much trouble. You are missing out on a wonderful opportunity to be with the most amazing woman I have ever met in all my 30 years as a sex expert - or sexpert - as I like to say.

Good luck with your uncertain future Mr Connor. I may write to you again. Or I may not. I don't think you are particularly bothered either way are you?

Regards,

Mike painted himself into this corner lets see if he can miraculously escape. I think he should bust loose and go on the run!

Love Phil X

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:36 am

@ Phil: Your wish is my command.
Under the subject header of "Litigation has begun", I send laddo this:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

As I have mentioned in the last message to you, we have been in touch with Derby hotel Management in Barcelona, the Hotel chain that owns the Caesar Hotel that you stayed in. We now believe that the receipt provided to you by Mr Als oScammerwas a forgery and that we here at Feldman and Haim have the basics for a Legal Case against Mr Alsoscammer.

With that in mind, we have teamed up with Spanish Law firm in the beginnings of getting you released from Jail. In the next few days, staff at will begin proceedings against Mr AlsoScammer for entrapment, False Imprisonment and Fraud, which carries a Jail term of not less than six years, and not more than twelve, with the possibility of 200,000 Euro fine.

I have known both professionally and personally for 16 years, and may I say she is a fine Lawyer. Donna and her team will work around the clock to get your dilemma worked out, of this I have no doubt. And, having seen Donna "in action", (If you know what I mean and I think you do) you will understand our excitement about this new development.

We here at Feldman and Haim are extremely happy about this Mr Scammer. Once proceedings begin, we can apply for Bail to be granted and get you released, and with the news we have recently received from that Ms Doughnut is doing much better, it is surely only a matter of time before your funds are released to you. It might be time to double check your bank details Mr Scammer!

Barry

Yeah, check those details, I think we need a new piggy! Oink oink! Wink

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 3:17 am

Phil sends me a note, seems Doughnut is cured:

Quote:

Hello Mr scammer,

Just thought you might be interested that Elena is now cured of her sexual anomolies and is 90% well. I think she will be leaving here at the end of this week. She was a difficult but fascinating case. I thoroughly enjoyed her. time she spent with me.

Regards,

Isn't that GREAT news scammer??? With that in mind I send laddo this:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

We are pleased to report that we have received word from that Ms Doughnut's health has improved dramatically and we can now confirm that her accounts have been unfrozen. We have been restored as her power of attorney and are now in complete control of her funds, which currently stand at $1.2 Million AUD in Australian investments, as well 2.1 Million GBP. Partly in investment funds in the UK, partly in her personal savings account.

Work continues on the investigations into Mr AlsoScammer. Our colleague Ms assures us she is in constant contact with Derby Management in Barcelona and it's only a matter of time before Mr AlsoScammer is apprehended.

We are very happy here at Feldman and Haim about these developments, we will be breaking out the champagne and closing early. You may wish to send us your banking details again Mr Scammer, the details we have on file seem to be incorrect

Barry

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:12 pm

Good work Chrys! Is that a big carrot you've got or are you just pleased to hear from me?

Mike sends the Doctor this:

Quote:

Thanks very much to hear again from you although i'm so happy to tell you that i'm no more in jail, the hotel quit the case on me and pitied me because of my daughter, so I've been free since 4 days now and just got an internet. I'm so glad to hear this good news, please get back to me about her health situations . Thanks friend

Mike Connor..

Doughnut's money is available and Mike walks out of gaol? Could the two be related or mere coincidence? Very Happy

Love Phil X

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:35 pm

Not only that seems he wants me to drop the case against AlsoScammer:

Quote:

Thanks very much for hearing again from you Mr Feldman although I am happy to tell you that the hotel called off the case on me because of my daughter and I'm back and they gave me a room in the hotel until I'll be able to pay their debts, so I'm no more in jail. I'm so happy that my wife's health has improved now.. I'll be looking forward to hear back from you soon and hope you don't create issues with the hotel as you're planning, i just want you to help me pay up the debts so I can be free again and come with my daughter to be with my wife Doughnut permanently.

Best regards,
Scammer

Me??? Create problems???? Surely NOT! Twisted Evil

will edit in a reply when I think of it!

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 9:00 pm

^^ Well whether it's you, me, or the devil in the deep blue sea SOMEONE's got to pay for Poor Mike and Little Doughnut to get out of trouble! Maybe it'll be Doughnut because the Doctor has some good news!

Quote:

Dear Mr Connor,

Elena will be released from my care at 9.00 am tomorrow morning. She is well, healthy and 89% free from sexual anomolies. I am sure she will be in contact with you soon. She talked about you and Susan a lot. You are a very lucky man, Mr Connor. VERY lucky. Elena has the most amazing body. She used to be really obese but now she has lost all the weight her soft skin hangs in folds like cascading curtains of vanilla ice-cream or more accurately - raspberry ripple if you include the veins. Beautiful.

Regards and good luck with your future together,

Mike's been very patient. I'm sure Doughnut can't wait to see him. Why, she may have even booked a train ticket to London as we speak! Wink

Love Phil X

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:58 am

Phil, I just want you to know that I was playing a facebook game and something came up with "Farmer McDinkle" or something like that and my brain went right to Doughnut and Mike.... And it's all your fault!

And boy am I glad Doughnut got out of the hospital and she's all well now *sort of*

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:48 am

While it's all happy in ladland, Feldman and Haim are NOT happy, seems his bank account doesn't work. Under the subject heading of "Your account details are incorect (again), we send laddo a slap:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

I have spent the last five days trying to transfer the money you have requested into the account you supplied to us, and again they do not work. Mr Scammer, surely if you wish us to give you the money you have requested, we need a WORKING bank account. Mr Scammer, you have bemoaning for several weeks the fact that you hve not received any money, yet you repeatedly supply us with incorrect or false information, thus not allowing us to send you the money you have requested.

Please Mr Scammer, either send us the correct banking details, or stop wasting my staff's time.

Barry

Can't hurt to try for another piggy Wink

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:32 pm

Hey Chrys! You can never have enough piggies! I love the smell of frying lad in the morning.
Cosette: Laughing

Dinkles. Try explaining that if someone asks where you got the word from! Doughnut's definitely saving something special for Xmas. I just hope we can all make it that far!

Mike has been a bit pathetic:

Quote:

I've missed you so much too baby... You know what? I have tried to give your lawyer the bank details but it still seems he's not getting it right. Baby i'm so tired about this, I want you to go and send it little by little through western union money transfer every 2 days until the debts is completely paid off Ok? please let me know if you can do it for me so i can send you my information to do that via western union. I love you and would love to hear back from you...

Mike

Western Union? Are you fricking kidding me? We left that little cul-de-sac months ago, pal. You'll have to try harder:

Little Doughnut says:

Quote:

Mum what going on? don't you love me and daddy anymore. we are not feeling good here?

I ignore both

Little D tries again:

Quote:

Mummy am not happy with you cuz i dont think you love me You been hurt us here and you promise too always making me happy and see what you have been doing too me and daddy. Oh My God am not happy with you Mummy

Susan

Mike tries again:

Quote:

Hey.. How are u doing Love.. have been thinking of you wish am there with you, am not feeling good. and i can't stop thinking of you Love.Hun get the money send to everything can be fine with you and me Ok I love you so much and i will always loving you till the rest of my Life

Mike

I finally reply:

Quote:

Where are you? I went to the Caesar Hotel in London and you weren't there. Where are you baby?

Your Doughnut XXXX

He dodges the bullet of course:

Quote:

Sweety, I'm not happy with you at all cuz you always tell me you have alot of money but still haven't helped me get out of my debts with the hotel. I'm currently living with a friend until i'm able to pay the debts. Sweetie, please I want you to at least send me 1000pounds to take care of myself and Little Doughnut so we'll be getting ready for you to come be with us.. Send the money via western union to this address

Name : Mike Connor
Address :
Country : United Kingdom

Baby i'll be looking forward to getting the details i need to get the money and please i want you to go and do it yourself if you really want to help me cuz Little D is not happy with you here at all.... I love you and miss you baby..Take care

Mike

Hmm…this turns out to be a real address. That could be tricky for Mike.

Little Doughnut plays the crying game!

Quote:

Mummy Pls why did you have to do all this too me and daddy we don't have any money here. and daddy is Beging you for 1000 mummy you don't love me or daddy why this Mummy. We stay with daddy Friend here in UK. we have nothing again.. I can't stop crying Mummy. If you know you do really love me am not talking about daddy now pls Mummy send us the money so we can be fine Ok

I really love you so much mummy and i will always making you my lovely sweet mummy till the rest of my life Mummy. Love You

Susan

My final reply (for now):

Quote:

Oh my sweet little Doughnut,

Your Super Mummy isn't feeling so super at the moment. I'm so upset and confused. I've been looking for you everywhere. I went to the Caesar Hotel and you and Daddy weren't there and the man in the hotel said you weren't there. Maybe he wasn't allowed to tell me so I've been in London all this time and now I've just come back and seen your emails and Daddy's too. Please be honest with me my darling. Tell me what is going on. Why is Daddy hiding from mummy? Is it because I went to the crazy hospital? I need to know what's going on and we've always been honest with each other haven't we? Tell Mummy because I need to know. I want to come and see you. Will it be ok to come to this friend of Daddy's house? I will come straight away with the money.

I love you Little Doughnut.

Mummy Doughnut XXX

Surely I can come for a visit? Or will Mike and Susan have to move AGAIN?

Love Phil X

Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:31 am

when I'm online later tonite, I'll tear him a new one for trying to go behind Barry's back, then remind him he needs to give me a new piggy.

Western Union... Nice try effer! Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 9:50 am

^^Hey! Do whatcha gotta do, ok? Very Happy

Little Doughnut loves me - a lot!

Quote:

Thank you for loving us the way no one can. and i do love you so much Mummy..You will never know just how much we love you No matter what, there will never be another woman for my daddy you will always be my mummy and daddy will always be your Husband. We love you so much Mummy But you are not making us happy why Mummy?. Mummy we are not hiding from you we love you so much more than you Think.

I love you so much and i will never hurt you Mummy believe in me Mummy..

Kiss and a a lot of Love just for you Mummy

Susan

And as for Mike? It seem his run of bad luck is catching!

Quote:

Hey sweetheart, Why would you ever think that I'm hiding from you? I want us to come be with you cuz i don't think it's going to be ok with my friend at the moment as he is mourning over the death of his little brother and at the same time it's not my place though i feel sorry for taking your time to come to London and not finding me but please i still want you to help me with a thousand pounds through western union to the address i gave you so i can fix up somethings with it right here and then we can come get settled together, and please send me a picture of you so i can be looking at it everyday. I love you and miss you, i really hope you do me the favor for the sake of our love... Take care sweetheart

I'll reply later. Mike and Little D are going to have to put some effort in - they're coasting at the moment and just waiting for payday. They need to get off their skinny scam arses and do some work!

Love Phil X

Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 2:17 pm

It seems Mr Feldman is NOT a happy camper. Under the subject heading of "I am not happy about your attempt to bypass us", I send laddo this:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

It has been brought to my attention that you have been trying to bypass our firm and have been attempting to get Ms Doughnut to send you money via western Union. Let me point out now Mr Scammer that this is completely unacceptable, and should you attempt this again, we will have no choice but to cancel any arrangements you may have with Ms Doughnut.

As I have pointed out before Mr Scammer we have power of Attorney over Ms Doughnut's financial affairs, and any amount over 100 pounds has to go through us. And before you try to get Ms Doughnut to send you money in 100 pound increments I also point out that the amount accrues so once the 100 pound limit is reached we are notified automatically by her bank and will stop any transfer of funds.

The reason we HAVE power of attorney in the first place Mr Scammer is to stop abuses such as the one you have just tried. I pride myself on my professional ability, but quite frankly Mr Scammer my patience is wearing thin when it comes to you. I have tried repeatedly to transfer the money as per Ms Doughnut's requests yet you continually supply me with incorrect banking details. So let me get this off my chest and I will return to acting more professional. If you want any money at all from Ms Doughnut you will have to deal with me. If you do not like it well suck it up Princess! Get your shit together and supply me with the correct details. I almost DIED trying to help you and pull this sort of crap?

I have been in touch with Western Union Offices in Both London, Bromley Manchester, Bristol, Glasgow and Ayrshire and have instructed them NOT to deal with Ms Doughnut. Please Mr Scammer, if you wish to be treated like a professional then for God's saker act like one. And as I said before, if you try pull the western Union stunt again, I will ban you from ANY access to Ms Doughnut's funds. while she will not be happy with the decision, she will understand

Barry

Let's hope THAT makes laddo a happy camper, it certainly felt good typing it up!

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 9:56 am

Doughnut replies to Mike:

Quote:

Oh my darling Mike. I have tried speaking to Mr Feldman many times but he insists that I should not send money by Western Union as he says it is unsafe. I don't know what he means and I don't know what to do. Mike why can't I just come and see you and LIttle Doughnut in London? I'm sure your friend wouldn't mind. Or I can meet you in London somewhere and then we can go to a hotel and I will pay for the hotel and we will have a separate room for Little Doughnut so that you and I can FINALLY make sweet sweet love together and my daffodil and your dinkle shall be as one.

I miss you so much my wonderful man.

PLEASE PLEASE do something so that we can be together.

Your very own Doughnut XXXX

PS I will send you a picture when you send me one : ) I Haven't had anything from you for a long time.

Not surprisingly there's no photo from Mike and he really doesn't want to deal with Feldman:

Quote:

Hey sweetheart, I'm glad to hear from you. It's not that you can't get over where i am but it doesn't make any sense to me, that's why i need this money to cover up some things before i ask you to come and meet me and our daughter. Baby tell me something, Is it me you love or Mr Feldman? Why do you wish to always listen to him and not help me? If you really love me, you can always tell him you want to use the money for something else. Baby please do something to help me get the money since you say you have it then help me with a little of it, Show me your love

Hee hee. I'll show you Mike. Don't think you'll like what you see though.

Love Phil X

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:37 am

@ Phil. I KNOW he won't like what he sees. Feldman and Haim have decided to pay... To the REAL Caesar hotel!:

Quote:

Dear Mr Connor,

I have received numerous requests from our client Ms Doughnut to have funds sent to you via western union over the last few days, and as I have told both her and you this is unacceptable. However, I am sure that you are just as tired of dealing with us as we are of you.

So, after much consideration and in an attempt to get this matter settled, I have forwarded your receipt to Donna over at . She is constant contact with Derby Hotel management in Barcelona as part of our attempts to track down Mr Sylvester.

After much discussion via teleconferencing between us here at Feldman and Haim, as well as the staff at during the week, it has been agreed that the funds will paid directly into Derby Management's bank account, thus releasing you from any debts incurred during your stay there. Have you incurred more debts other than the ones mentioned in the receipt supplied? we have been led to believe that this may be the case and we will require a copy of those receipts also if you wish to reimbursed for those costs.

We will send you a copy of your receipt once these funds have been transferred to Caesar Hotel management in Barcelona. I am sure you will be relieved at this news. And we here at Feldman and Haim will be pleased to move on to our next customers. I have enjoyed my time working with you

Barry

He DID ask for the bills to be paid Wink

Edited for typos Embarassed

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

^^oh you guys are so so good! Mike will love you for that.

Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 2:10 pm

^Thanks Pretty's! But the gears are turning a lot slower now that Mike's getting pissed off! Finally he responds to an email telling him I've been contacted by an unknown man of African origin (true. he popped up unannounced in my catcher box) I wrote:

Quote:

Hi darling,

I think your friend that you are staying with emailed me he is called Adilyobe or something like that. I really don't know what's going on anymore. Mr Feldman tells me he has paid the hotel so there are no more debts and now you are ignoring me and never write.

Please, please, please tell me what is happening. I feel sick thinking about you.

Your ever loving Doughnut

Mike hasn't contacted me for ages but this seems to perk him up

Mike says:

Quote:

Dont tell me lies. you are not making me happy...you always lieing to me Mr Feldman did not pay any money to any Goddamn hotel,, And my friend did not send you any messsage, by the way, that's not my friend's name

Mike said "Goddamn" I think he's finally starting to get angry.

I reply:

Quote:

My darling Mike,

I am NOT telling you lies - I can only tell you what I have been told by others. Mr Feldman told me he was dealing with the hotel so why shouldn't I believe him? Sweetheart I am sad and confused. I don't understand anything anymore.Why can't I see you and Little Doughnut? Why can't I come to London to see you or why can't you come here to see me? Why are you stopping me? I already told you I have everything you need. Do you still want me? I still want you more than anything. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me that everything is ok. If you want me to get rid of Mr Feldman I will but 'm not very good with my finances so you would have to recommend another lawyer for me to trust with all my money. Do you know anyone that you can recommend darling?

Please write to me soon I want us to be together for Christmas. Don't you want to be together for Christmas. Little Doughnut should have her family together for Christmas don't you think?

Will I see you for Christmas, baby?

Yours forever and ever,

Doughnut. XXX

PS. The adoybe man says he doesn't know you but he says he wants to be with me and sent me his photos. What should I do? Shall I send you the email and the photos he sent me?

PPS What are you doing for Christmas? Can I see you?

Sorry Chrys but it looks like I might have to trade you in for a new model!

Love Phil X

Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:53 am

@ Phil... You're a floozy you know that don't you!!! Wink

In fact why not use it as an excuse to "get into a fight" over the matter, and then we use the magazine cover I sent you to prove that Barry was skimming funds, and KEPT the receipt money for himself!

Just a thought, I want to save our marriage! Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 9:49 am

^^ I think you're right Chrys. I feel betrayed. ANd this can only make Mike feel he's back in the game, back in charge and back on top - poor misguided fool that he is. And judging by the 2 emails I got from him there's a new guy(man) in town and he's enthusiastic about this possible new lawyer-free relationship/transaction!!

Mike writes:

Quote:

Honey, you have changed my life completely. You're the one who makes me handsome. You're the one who makes me strong. You're the one who makes me feel so important; you're everything to me.

Baby I'm happy to hear from you again and Yes I want you to get rid of Mr Feldman. He's been teling lies about the account details i gave him, and he had also been telling lies about visiting the hotel. Baby once again, i want you to get rid of him, and i want you to control your finances by yourself and I want you to send me the e-mail and photos the adobe man sent you... I don't want us to fight baby, but Mr Feldman is tryna bring trouble in our relationship.... Little Doughnut feels you've break her heart, if you are going to get rid of Mr Feldman that's when we can all be together this Christmas. I'll be waiting to hear back from you

MESSAGE 2 - Subject: Be careful love

Quote:

Hello sweetheart, how are you doing today? are you ok? i pray you are. I've been so worried since i have this bad dream about you and Feldman last night, he tried to poison a drink for you. Sweetheart, i want you to be very careful with him, the dream may come true if you don't, or maybe he could be trying to kill you so he can take possession of your properties, you know he's a lawyer but he has been lieing to you, he never transferred any money to me, and he also lied about paying the hotel, he never paid any hotel, he's an intelligent liar, i just don't want you to trust him, please do not, if you love to live. I love you and hope to hear from you soon..

You know i love you and i can't sleep without you baby be careful Love..

am really in love with you and i will never let you go forever

Mike Your Lovely Husband

I'm going to wait a day or two and then tell Mike I can't believe it and copy him in to our exchanges. You better have a damn good explanation Chrys because I'm going to believe everything Mike says! Very Happy

Love Phil X

PS I really do have this Ayidobe's email. I think I'll start a correspondence with him which I can then pass onto Mike. I see a dolla chop ahead!

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:29 am

I don't think Barry should have an explanation. His partner will be in damage control promising he can get the funds back, but of course he'll be tarnished by the Barry Brush.

In the meantime, I'm off to sing endless rounds of the Prodigy's "Baby's got a temper"!!! "We love Rohypnol, she loves Rohypnol"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZUR6YhkiyU

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:10 am

I had no idea Barry was so creepy or bent! I thought he was a respected member of the legal profession. Confused

I reply to Mike and discuss the nature of dreams:

Quote:

Oh my darling Mike. I was so glad to receive your email. I wait and look forward to hearing from you every day. What a horrid dream about Mr Feldman! Dreams can tell us so much can't they? They can be omens to see into the future or to look into the past or to know of the here and now. Or to show us what we could be. Or who we are.

Or what others mean to us. Or what we mean to others. Basically dream can mean a lot of things. I'm going to send an email to Barry to find out exactly what the heck is going on because I'm sick and tired of being told things that aren't true. I will be very careful of him like you say, my love. I will do whatever you think is best.

I had a dream about you too last night. It was a naughty dream and really sexy and exciting. You were standing in front of me wearing ladies underwear, playing a swanny whistle and singing "Stand by your Man" You kept singing the first line over and over "Sometimes it's hard to be a woman" and then when you took your g-string off you didn't have a dinkle! You had a kazoo instead and I joined in with the song by giving you little tooting rasps on it.

What do you think it means?

Anyway I'm glad you love me so much because you are the best thing to ever happen to me EVER!!

I love you Mike. Hope to see you for Christmas soon.

Your Doughnut XXX

PS. What would you like for Christmas? I can get you anything you want up to £450. Also I've bought Little Doughnut a present too. It's a £1500 gift certificate for Harley Street cosmetic surgery. I hear all girls want these days is bigger breast-buds so they can appear on reality tv shows so I hope she likes it. Give her a kiss from me and ask her to write soon.

C'mon Mike - what would Freud say?

Love Phil X

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 1:34 pm

It seems Mike is encouraged about his money arriving soon. And isn't adverse to a bit of cross-dressing!!

Quote:

Wow, thanks for the message my darling sweetheart, I hope you're doing good. You know what? I want you to be very careful about Feldman, the dream i heard could come true faster than we're thinking that's why i want you to do something fast about your finances with Feldman, I love you so much and wouldn't want someone to take advantage of you.
The dream you had about us is such a sweet one, I think wearing a lady's underwear is a way to turn you on my love, and i'd be turned on if you could wear mine too (smiles). Baby I want you to know that me and Little Doughnut love you so much and we want you to be there for us now that we need you most.
I still want you to send us some money via western union, about 1000Ł before we meet eachother this xmas and i want you to do it fast and yourself and i will be looking forward to recieving the wonderful gift you've got for me and our daughter. Make sure you don't fail to send the money this week cuz we will be needing it between now and monday. I have to go now baby as i look forward to hear back from you, Love you so much

Doughnut is SO happy she has Mike and that he wasn't fazed by the idea of modelling her undies:

Quote:

Hello my darling, darling sweetest husband. I will be very careful of Feldman like you tell me to. I have put the email I will send him on this email at the bottom. Could you read it and tell me if you think it is ok? I trust you in all of this and need your help.Tell me if there is anything you would change or add to the letter and I'll send it right away.

Oh my sweet man I love the idea of wearing your dirty underwear with the skid marks up the back and you wearing my enormous bra, g-string and twangers. I bet you would look really pretty like a sex doll. And it would be like I am the man and you are the woman! . I can't wait!!!

Honey what is the L with a line through it? Does it stand for Lira? I don't think they even have that anymore I think it's all euros now. I can't even find it on my keyboard so I don't know how much money it is that you need.

Here is my letter to Mr Feldman. Please tell me what you think and then I'll send it and we'll get all this money thing sorted finally once and for all.

Dear Mr Feldman.

It has come to my attention that not only are you lying and cheating but that you haven't paid the hotel like you promised and that you are trying to kill me and keep all my money for yourself. I also have information that you are going to try and poison me sometime in the future so I hereby declare our financial relationship null and void, ipso facto, and flagrante delicto. So give me my gaddam money!

Love

What do you think darling? Shall I send it to him now?

Can't wait to see you. Please ask Little Doughnut to write. I miss her silly letters.

Bye Bye my lovely Wife.

Your husband Doughnut : ) XXXXX

I think I'll call Mike my wife from now on. I'm sure he won't mind. As for the letter to Feldman well, I'm concerned it could be interpreted Doughnut needs another spell in therapy. Let's hope Mike doesn't get her into trouble!

Love Phil X

[edit mask name - thanks $eriously]

Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:10 am

Mike has been in touch. He sees nothing wrong with Feldman's letter:

Quote:

I'm glad to read from you again my wife, how have you been doing? and how was your weekend? I hope all is well with you cuz I miss you so much and you're always on my mind and can't wait to be with you for the rest of my life with Little Doughnut. I think the message you're about to write to Mr Feldman isn't bad, you can send it to him, and let him know you want to have everything you own back cuz i don't want you to get in trouble my love, What i saw in the dream looked so real, and i'm afraid it could happen anytime soon that's why you have to act very fast... Sweetheart, i will be needing 1000 euros and please i want you to send it through western union so i can do what i want to do with it and we and Little Doughnut will meet you before xmas. The following details you will be sending the money to is ...
Name... Mike Connor, Address... 30 Leicester Square, City... London, Country.... United Kingdom....

I hope you will get it sent as soon as possible cuz i can't wait to enjoy Xmas holidays with you and Little Doughnut. Our daughter wants me to send her greetings to you, she wants to meet you as much as i do but she's not been happy recently for everything that has been going on around. Baby I want you to know that i love you unconditionally and always will, i will be waiting for your reply.... Take care my darling sweet husband Doughnut.. Your wife, Mike..

Hello Mike. You're MY wife now. Very Happy

I reply :

Quote:

Oh Mike how wonderful!

It was so nice to see you in my box this morning. I have sent the letter to Mr Feldman asking if I can have all my money released from him. I think my therapist needs to tell the bank that I am well and no longer have mental health issues though. I can't get him to do that. Could you write to him and ask him to send an email to the man who deals with my bank accounts? His name is Mr Amage and his email is [email protected].

Honey I can send you 1000 euros no problem but there isn't a western union near but there is a moneygram is that ok? Please let me know what to do asap. I tried calling you yesterday but your phone was off. I finally have a new mobile phone now my number is 0776O68XXX (Thanks to Subway1 for the UK number of a ladette) it's called a smart phone and I think it's smarter than me!! I'm having some problems using it because my sausage fingers are too big for the screen.

O my darling wife! : ) I look forward to seeing you and Little Doughnut so much I can hardly believe that I will see you soon.

Love from your husband. XX

PS Don't forget who wears the trousers!!!

I have a feeling that Santa won't be bringing Mike the present he wants only more "fraustration".

Love Phil X

Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:11 am

So I get Doughnut's letter with the subject header of "You naughty man", so I reply with more than parting shot at our boi. I make a point of ccing him, so he'll know I'm now targeting him:

Quote:

Dear Ms Doughnut,

I must admit to some surprise on receiving your email and to be perfectly frank I have NO IDEA what on Earth you are talking about!

You are a family friend as well as a client, why would I try to poison you? I have my suspicions that Mr Scammer has put you up to this. I strongly suggest that you cease all communications with this man immediately! I will attach the receipts I was sent from Darby hotel Management after I have time to collect the paperwork which is currently in our storage Facilities in downtown Elaine.

We have worked incredibly hard to attend to that man's wishes (I almost DIED trying to help him) as you know, yet he continues to make unreasonable requests for payment via Western Union, which as you know we cannot do. His obsession with Western Union makes me think that Mr scammer may in fact be a person of dubious morals, and for that reason alone I suggest you cut ties with Mr Scammer.

I will speak to about this, and I may even consider getting a second opinion as well. And, after all that, if you are still serious about ending your relationship with our firm (after fifteen years of loyal service I might add), I will send you the neccessary forms to cease our ability to be power of Attorney.

Barry

Hopefully up next, the magazine informing the world Barry's been arrested Wink