Bad Mother...

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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:08 am

In the meantime, it's Time to Give laddo the news... Barry's in a coma. enter barry's personal assistant, who writes to him, complete with the newspaper article;

Quote:

Dear Mr scammer,

My name is and I work at as the personal assistant to Barry. It is my duty as his personal assistant to inform everyone on Mr feldman's current roster of clients of the events of Friday Afternoon.

Late on Friday Afternoon, Mr Feldman's Audi was involved in a collision with another car on the F4 freeway. while the driver of the other car was killed instantly, Mr Feldman has so far survived, but is in a crictical condition in an induced coma.

is currently at the hospital and we await news of any improvement concerning Mr Feldman's condition. I am not privy to what work Mr Feldman was doing for you, and Mr Haim will get in touch form Mr Feldman's account to see if he can help you in yor matter.

I thank you in advance for your concern at Mr Feldman's health.

Brandy

Oh dear, seems the hotel ain't getting their cash after all Wink

Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:41 am

Lad too excited to sleep wrote:

Hello Erica, how are you doing today? and How's your day been? I hope good.. Thanks very much for your concern and yes I'd like your guys to have words with the hotel manager so you can help me sort things out here, But who really are these your guys?

I think she's got more than that in her account and by the way, where did she get such money from? I also learnt she has estates, Is that true?

Yes she did told me she was a virgin. are you really her daughter? or did she adopt you? and how are you running with things to put the lawsuit against her?, are you only going to get the money or the estates as well? and tell me, how sure are you that you're going to be successful?

This is a picture of me and your step sister. I'll be looking forward to hear back from you soon my step daughter Erica..

Sun !!!!!! at 5:46 AM !!!!!! :yikes:

I checked the header again because I couldn't believe the time he sent this: Yes, he's still in Lagos.
The picture is stolen, of course. He will be sorry for that later, when it's time to meet. Mr. Green

EDIT: I ran his picture through Google Image Search; the lad has an entry in "RomanceScam" - a very short one, so he can't be all that successful. Laughing

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 10:05 am

Erica doesn't work on weekends. I hope the lad fell asleep on his keyboard while waiting for her reply.

Quote:

You have asked a lot of questions,

Mike,

and I’m ready to answer them as best I can.

But first I’d like to know: Do we have an agreement, yes or no? Your case doesn’t look good now Feldman is in a coma, so you better side with me.

Thanks for the picture. You are not a bad looking guy. How on earth did you fall in love with my mother?

Erica

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 3:43 pm

This came this morning:

Quote:

3:34 AM
Yes we have an agreement. So are you going to give answers to my previous questions? and how can I trust you Erica?

Not sure how to react, and when in doubt, let him stew. A handwritten letter of intent might be lovely - written by the lad, of course.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

You have him by the "short and curly's".

Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:36 am

Erica shows who's the boss:

Quote:

The thing is,

Mike,

I don’t care if you trust me or not. I don’t need your trust because sooner or later I will get my mother’s money anyway. I’m her natural daughter, you are just her fiancé, so I am certain to win a lawsuit eventually, especially now Feldman is in hospital and his young assistant, B****** J*******, has no experience – at least that’s what my lawyer, Mr H*****, is telling me.

I am asking you to co-operate only because a lawsuit might take years, and I hate to wait that long.

However, as a gesture of goodwill, I propose the following:

- you send me a Letter of Intent, its content to be specified by Mr H****;
- as soon as I am in possession of this letter, I’ll send one of my employees to your hotel manager to take care of your debts – by the way, how much to you owe? You must have run up quite a nice sum by now.

As soon as we have finished this stage of our deal, we can proceed with the details.

Erica

Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:09 am

Lads never disappoint - the carrot dangled by Erica produced a long answer, posted at 5:55 AM:

Quote:

Hello Erica, thanks very much for your message and I really appreciate the help you're trying to show me and I also promise you i'll do anything if you help me get outta this debts. I told my daughter she'll be having a step sister and it's YOU Erica and she felt very good about it. As for the letter of Intent, i'm very sorry and afraid that i can't provide that cuz the manager wouldn't let me use anything in the hotel at this time until i pay the debts cuz I'm owing alot money and that's about £12,000. Although, i'd like you to send the hotel manager a message so both of you can talk very well as you're trying to sort things out for me, the manager's address is [email protected] and I want you to know that i can write the letter of intent(LOI) on e-mail since i can't be able to do any scanning in the hotel at this moment.

And below in bold characters:

Quote:

Letter of Intent(LOI)

Dear Mr H****.

I am Mike C****** legally represented by myself with full corporate and authority under penalty of perjury, confirm to be ready and willing to make agreements with Erica as she's planning to put a lawsuit against her mother Mrs Doughnut S*****

Dear fellow baiters, what do you think - will Erica's lawyer be happy with a typed Letter of Intent and its wording? Any guesses? Mr. Green

Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 2:57 pm

About as much as Mr Feldman would perhaps??? Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 1:23 pm

Just to let you know - writing from abroad - I've told him to wait until my lawyer has checked his letter and I've asked for his phone number.

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:11 am

I thought I was out of the loop. Lad FINALLY gets back to yitzak:

Quote:

Thanks very much for the message and I feel very sorry to hear about Mr Feldman's current health situation. Mrs Doughnut happen to be my lover and one i'll be spending the rest of my life with. I'm in a problem of owing debts to a hotel which she knows about, she and her lawyer and friend Mr Feldman was trying to help me get the money transferred to the hotel manager but wasn't successful until the sad news got in about Mr Feldman's accident.. I'll be looking forward to hear back from you Mr Yitzak, Thanks very much... Mike Scammer

will in a reply soon, but I suspect Yitzak will be as anal as Barry Wink

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:02 pm

Well Mike is a bit confused - not surprising really. He says:

Quote:

Hun am not really happy with you where are u been? The Hotel have not get the money yet. what going on?

Mike

Unfortunately he gets this from Doughnut in response which I'm sure won't help matters:

Quote:

hello

remember me? i'm the lady that has waited for you all her life and you never came to see me I have not been very well I have justr been staring into space and waching tv and eating cold spaghetti hoops from the can I read mr feldman was in an accident ah well bad things happen. are you a bad thing mike? is little doughnut a bad thing that goes in the shed at the bottome of the garden with the snails and the spiders and the dirty blankets? is erica a bad thing? Yes she is. She's a bad thing. A thing Mike. A THING like a bug that crawls out of the daffodil and spoils it.

Am I a bad thing MIke? Is Doughnut a bad thing? Am I bad? Am I? AM I?

All play and no work makes Doughnut a naughty numpty
All play and no work makes Doughnut a naughty numpty
All play and no work makes Doughnut a naughty numpty

etc etc for about 500 lines

I'm hoping that Mike goes bonkers before Doughnut does because I'm sure Erica would love to see her mother put away. Crying or Very sad

Love Phil X

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:49 pm

Well, obviously she is not longer compos mentis. There must be a lovely home for industrial waste - erm, sick persons.

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:31 pm

Haha new character, Doughnut's psychiatrist Very Happy

Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:17 am

^^

You're one step ahead of us Cosette. That's right Doughnut's Doctor will be taking care of her very soon…

Mike writes:

Quote:

Hun am not happy with you at all.. Cus we can't get anymoney have been thinking crying here what is the meaning of this.. Are you playing my heart let me know?

Then he sends:

Quote:

Hello my darling sweetheart, i feel so glad to hear back from you. how have you been doing? i thought i had lost you. Me and Little Doughnut have not been happy as Mr. Feldman didn't transfer the money, he only had you believed he sent it but he never did. I'm sad to tell you that I've faced court issues with the hotel and would have to appear in court again in a week so they can let me face jail term. I also want you to know that i've been getting messages from Erica lately, and i think she's having a dangerous plan for you. I really i don't want to lose you my sweetheart cuz i love you deeply from the heart and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I hope to hear back from you as soon as you get this message. Always yours.. Mike

I'm not sure why he's asking Doughnut questions though. Can't he tell she's losing it? I reply:

Quote:

Mike. Michael. Mikey. Mikey baby. Mike. Micky. Mick. Mick

I don't know what to do or what to say anymore you have made me wait for you for so long. I'm so sad and lonely. You promised me you would come to save me but you never came. I know why. I am ugly and disgusting and you hate me. thats why isn't it? ISNT IT??????

It's because I have these stupid robot arms and robot legs and half a head and no daffodil and rubber nip naps isn't iiiiiiiit? ISNT IT????

Well you don't have to worry anymore darling I'm going to remove them pull out the wires and burn everything. BURN THEM. I don't want to be here by myself anymore.

ERICA IS A NAUGHTY NUMPTY put her in the cellar and don't tell her
ERICA IS A NAUGHTY NUMPTY put her in the cellar and don't tell her
ERICA IS A NAUGHTY NUMPTY put her in the cellar and don't tell her

etc etc about another 500 times.

Mike facing court and a possible second or would it be third jail term? Oh if only that were true!! Twisted Evil

Love Phil X

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 128

to be honest- I like the idea of seeing him in jail....

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 10:27 am

^^Me too!

Mike is just about hanging in there. I think the poor man doesn't really know what to make of it all - he's starting to sound like a scratched record:

Quote:

Hun you know i love you so much and i can't do a day without you am here thinking wish am there with you in person i can't wait to be there with u love.. It just that My Bills have not been pay am not happy here. the hotel manger can't get any money Hun what going on we need to be together i really need you so much my Love...

I think the next person he hears from might be new. Hopefully that will straighten things out. or not. Wink

Love Phil X

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Jul 2011 Posts: 50

(I had this idea)
Hey Mike,
I crept into moms hospital room, and all i could hear was her monitors beeping....beep.....beep.....beep, and all i could think of was with every beep i was getting closer to her money. Because eventually that beeping is gonna stop and all that money will be mine hahahaha! and you ain't getting jack shit, unless you join my side and we will get it together.

What's it going to be Mike, you going to play ball?.....beep......beep......beep
beep.....beep....

Make your mind up quick!!!!

Erica

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:23 am

Time to let Lad know the good news. Barry's out of the Hospital. Time to let the lad know the bad news, his bank account doesn't work:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

Thank you for your concern for my welfare during my stay in Hospital. I have been released from the Sydney Royal North shore Hospital late last week and am now trying to catch up with the work that has accumulated on my desk since my accident. Yitzak did his best to keep track of things, but sometimes I think he may not be all that bright.

Speaking of not all that bright, I went to the bank today to transfer the funds you requested and the account details supplied by yourself to my client Ms Doughnut do not seem to work. I am sure it is simply a matter of a typo, but please check the details and send the corrected account details to me as soon as possible, so that I can pay the bills you requested.

Barry

Up next, the injunction pending a psych evaluation Wink

Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:27 am

Laddo gets back to me. Seems he wants Barry to try good ol' WU and piles it on thick:

Quote:

Hello Mr Barry, I'm glad you're back from the hospital. Are you feeling any better now? Yes i hope.. Well, you messaged at a good time cuz i was in court 5 days ago, and i'll be thrown to jail on tuesday. I asked the hotel boss and manager about the correct details and they told me the one they provided was the correct, they also told me the best way for you to get the money sent is by sending it little by little via western union money transfer until you get it all sent whether stressful or not cuz they're out of patience and would hurt me but what i fear is my daughter's life after i'm been thrown to jail on tuesday. Please consider me and my daughter's life and do it by the hotel boss's way. thanks..

Connor.

Unfortunately (for laddo), he doesn't quite know who he's dealing with! Nothing erks me more than a lad piling it on! I decide a slap is order. Seems Barry's back to his old anal self:

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

You have mentioned Western Union once before from memory, and I remind you that trying to send the money you have requested that way is a federal offence in this country and no matter what kind of trouble you are in, I will not put my business or my staff in any kind of danger. I employ 12 people here, and getting disbarred is the easiest way I can think of putting them out of a job.

Mr Scammer, I have placed my life in Jeopardy trying to help you, in fact I died twice during surgery! I am more than happy to transfer the funds via bank transfer, we do it here at all the time. But I have to have the correct details in doing so, and the account details sent to me (and verified by my client Ms Doughnut) no longer work. Please send me either the corrected details, or the details of another bank to place them in.

And in future Mr Scammer, please do NOT try to use emotional blackmail, it will not work on me. I am a lawyer, I have trained for many years to remain impartial and focus on the facts, please remember that when dealing with me. I am trying to help you here Mr Connor, please do NOT waste my time!

Barry

Am hoping for a piggy I can claim all by myselfs Wink

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 11:35 am

^^ If you get it - you'll deserve it Chrys!

It seems as though it's one out, one in as far as hospitals go. Doughnut's just arrived somewhere with nice, soft walls and Mike has been contacted by a member of staff:

Quote:

Dear Mr Connor,

My name is and I am a therapist and consultant psychologist specialising in sexual anomolies. I hope you don't object to me contacting you but I thought you should know that is currently in my care. She is resting and stable but severely sick in the head.

She was found in her home yesterday staring at her computer screen with your email address on it - it would appear that she was waiting for a message from you and that is how I come to have your contact details passed on to me by the paramedics after she had had her stomach pumped in the hospital.

Mr Connor, she had drunk a whole gallon of Duckhams 40/50 motor oil in the mistaken belief that she is a robot and that the oil was required to lubricate her daffodil - her genitalia - which she believes to be made of rubber and can be removed. She also imagines herself to have a large hole in the centre of her body and that half her head is missing. As you can see, this is a serious case. Ms Startz is, in fact, borderline insane and it is my duty to try and bring her back from cloud cuckoo land.

I hope you understand why I am now contacting you. Let me assure you, Mr Connor, that I will do everything I can to help Elena and will keep you informed of my progress. Incidentally, she has asked for you constantly since her arrival and seems to be very much in love and wholly dependent on you for her happiness and well-being. She keeps asking to have Mike's dinkle. Mike I take to be you but so far I have been unable to get her to explain what a "dinkle" is? Can you shed any light on this matter?

If you have any message or soothing words you would like me to pass on please contact me at this email address.

Thank you.

Regards,

I hope Mike can follow what's going on. It certainly puts HIS troubles into perspective!!

Love Phil X

Not quite a Newb Joined: 03 Oct 2011 Posts: 23

^^ Dear Mr. Phil,
I love you with unconditional love, but I am not happy with you now, you rarely write posts. Wink

I am new here, but I can tell you're a genius, reading your posts is great pleasure.

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:19 pm

^^ Well thank you Bara - I love you too for joining Eater! Welcome to our world Very Happy

My apologies for not posting much these days but you must have noticed there's a lot of unfamiliar usernames these days (yours included) and us old timers sometimes have to move over a bit to give the newbies some room. Wink

Hope you stick around and give the lads and vlads some hell and pain of your own making.

Love Phil X

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:48 pm

*gasp!*

So how much of what Doughnut said was actually true? You mean she is not a cyborg, just crazy?

I shall never believe it! *shakes fist*

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:09 am

In the meantime, Laddo gets back to me... WITH A PIGGY!!!:

Quote:

Thanks very much for your fast message, i'm very sorry and i plead for sending a late reply but i've been facing issues here with the hotel manager and boss.. i was able to get bank details from the hotel for you and i hope it will sort it all out as you're doing your best for me.. the details are as follows:

Bank Name : Santander Bank, PLC.
Address : Trinton Square Regent's Place, London, NW13AN.
Swift Code : ABBYGB2LXXX
Sort Code : 09 01 27
IBAN : GB35 ABBY
09012746623378
A/C NO : 46628378
A/C NAME :

That's the listed bank details you need for the transfer, i hope this will do.. I really appreciate you efforts to help me, and i look forward to hearing back from you....

Yeah you'll hear from me alright, as I scream OINK OINK for the rest of the day!!! Reported to Alan, piggy about to be claimed! LOVE the name BTW, Shittu... You'll be shittu alright "shittu-ed" off with me!!! Twisted Evil

edited for typos Embarassed

I also send this back to Laddo. With the email Phil sent to lad underneath, with Barry's name substituted for lad's, I give him the bad news... Doughnut's funds are frozen again!

Quote:

Dear Mr Scammer,

I have just received the email below from , Lead Psychiatric evaluator at The Addiscombe Centre for Mental health. It seems Ms Doughnut has recently been admitted into the Dame Edna Everage Memorial Psychiatric Clinic in nearby Bromley.

Because of these developments, it is my duty to inform you that under Section 12, subsection 3 Paragraph 16 of the Mental Health (Power of Attorney) Act of 1969, upon receiving such notices, we are required by law to freeze all assets held by our client Ms Doughnut until such time Psychiatric Assessments can be made to evaluate and tend to the state of Ms Doughnut's mental health.

I know you have been going through a lot lately Mr Scammer, but until we get the all clear from Doctor , we simply cannot allow any funds to be transferred either in or out of any of Ms Doughnut's accounts. It would be a breach of our duty of care to Ms Doughnut!

We are in constant contact with both Doctor , as well as the head of the Bromley Contingent. Should Ms Doughnut become well enough to be released from the Bromley Mental Health Facility, we will transfer your funds Immediately.

I assume your understanding of this development,

Barry

I suspect he won't understand AT ALL! Twisted Evil

Being a fan of the Sex pistols, I couldn't resist mentioning the Bromley contingent Wink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bromley_Contingent

And now, to go enjoy some spring sunshine Very Happy

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:35 am

Congratulations, Chrys!! That's the third piggy Team Mike has given up!

Meanwhile, Mike is concerned:

Quote:

Hello Dr Stephen, thanks very much for the message, I really appreciate that you took time to write me. Elena is my love, i can't afford to lose her.. Please i want you to try everything in your power to make sure she gets well for me, I beg of you Dr Stephen. I will like you to respond back to me and tell me how she's fairing..

Best regards,
.

Now isn't that sweet? Very Happy

Love Phil X