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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 18 May 2011 Posts: 17

RIP, Doughnut! Your beauty and grace will never be forgotten.

Condolences to Simon, Mike, and Susan. Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

GiggleStick wrote:

RIP, Doughnut! Your beauty and grace will never be forgotten.

Condolences to Simon, Mike, and Susan. Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 3:52 pm

^^^ Thank you GiggleStick. Thank you Pretty's Darling. Doughnut is in a better place now.
Where when it rains, it rains hundreds and thousands and when it's cold, sugar-frosting covers the trees. Where gaily banging a bucket with a wooden spoon will always guarantee a small child's discomfort and where a 12" Deep Meat Feast isn't always a pizza.

Unfortunately for Simon though he is unaware of a copy of the will having been sent to a solicitors. So any attempt to change it might result in criminal proceedings. He may still contest it though.

Mike and Simon will have to duke it out over the cash. And poor Doughnut not yet in her ring-shaped coffin!

InternationalChrysis. I've heard Feldman and Haim are reputable? Do you think they might be interested?

Love Phil X

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 4:16 pm

Hahahahahahaha!!!

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

Phil Yerboots wrote:

InternationalChrysis. I've heard Feldman and Haim are reputable? Do you think they might be interested?

Love Phil X

If you mean Corey Haim. He´s dead.

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 4:45 pm

^^ I think Chrys has probably got that covered.

@Fartina Thanks! It would seem Mike is a little upset and can't quite believe the bad news.

Quote:

Let me tell you something see i don't fucking care about You. i love her and she is my wife doughnut' will never dead in Jesus Name what u are doing too her is not good cos she don't have 2 Leg?? Okay Just do as you like Good Bye

Come on Mike don't give up.

Simon replies:

Quote:

cheers mate. i thought u would put up a bit of a fight for her money seeing as how u r due £930,000. are u saying u dont care? and u don't want that money? cos that makes it a lot easier for me.

just say now and it will be less trouble. i'll send u a postcard from the bahamas!!

ha ha. u nonce

You can win Mike! That money is YOURS. You deserve it for all the time and effort you put in. Fight for it Mike. FIGHT!!

Love Phil X

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 4:45 pm

another great bait. but you'll pull him back with the will, I'm sure. ---- clapping

Phil, always love reading your baits.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 20

I have been in stitches while reading this and less than productive at work today. Fantastic bait! I love the drama of 'As the Doughnut Turns'

I hope one day to have baits even half this good!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 20

I have been in stitches while reading this and less than productive at work today. Fantastic bait! I love the drama of 'As the Doughnut Turns'

I hope one day to have baits even half this good!

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 8:32 pm

I'm so happy the bait isn't over yet even though Doughnut has died.
Do you think Mike has understood that he is going to inherit?

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:26 am

Thanks Josey, Anna and Jeanette!!

Your encouragement is much appreciated. I find myself tossed on the horns of a dilemma. Mike doesn't believe that Doughnut is dead. I guess he just can't bear to think that all his work might have been for nothing. He says:

Quote:

i Love her so much. and i do care about her a lot i will be very happy if you can help me out, i just need 1000 just too pay my bills i will be very happy Pls.. she is my wife

Then adds:

Quote:

Are u there ? am very worrying about her why can you just leave her alone and let her be with me??

Ahh. Poor Mike! Who feels sorry for him? Anyone? No. Didn't think so. I thought I had two options.
1. Doughnut IS dead and Mike will have to fight over the will with Simon and the lawyers.
2. Doughnut ISN"'T dead and has managed to escape in a motorised wheelchair. She is now in hiding with a new email. She needs Mike to come and rescue her.

But then…

Out of the blue Mike has used the email address he was given by Doughnut a while ago and contacted Simon. May I introduce !!

Quote:

Hi handsome how are u doing? i hope all is well and good there with you am Malivs 32 Yrs old from untied kingdom i will really like too know you if you don't mind and i have my pics here check on me and free free too mail me back

Mlaivs

He's used the same surname! Can't spell the first name for toffee but it's too good to pass up. He obviously thinks if Simon IS holding all the money then he has to start again.

What do I do? I'm tempted by all three to be honest and all at the same time - even though I probably shouldn't. Your thoughts would be helpful.

Love Phil X

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:59 am

Congratulations! The lad is baiting himself. Laughing

Do you think he will believe the wheelchair story? Doughnut would have to stay in a hospice or hospital, given her problems.

If she is dead, perhaps Simon killed her and makes the mistake to confess to Mike so he is the ideal victim for blackmail? He could be on the run now because the police have found out. I envy your wealth of options.

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:55 am

^^ I think you're right Jeanette. The fact that this group of lads (definitely more than one anyway) have baited themselves is too good to miss. Doughnut had already spiraled off into the world of the bizarre and it would be a shame to lose them by being too weird.

I think Simon is going to come clean. Doughnut isn't dead but as good as. She's in hospital. She can't speak, she can't get access to email and PROBABLY can't be cured (although I hear prosthetics have become very advanced these days!)

Simon is definitely interested in Malvis though. He needs the love of a good woman after all he's been through. The lawyers can wait in the wings until later (as can robot doughnut).

Well done Mike and friends - you just bought another round of pain!

Love Phil X

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 3:48 pm

Of course the law firm would be interested, in between the case of Corey vs Corey of course Smile

Lemme know what you need

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:44 am

Thanks Chrys! I'm sure one of us? me? will be in touch.

Mike is truly in love and very protective of his wife/scam. After Simon said:

Quote:

alright mate. u win. she ain't dead. i thought that would make u go away but u obviously love her. trouble is she probably will die soon so you might as well forget her. she's in a hospital and i'm here at her house going thru her emails and letters and documents and stuff.

look like she was going to send u some money well that aint going to happen mate so forget it only way u will get something is if it comes from me and u can whistle for it.

i hope she hasn't written a will becos if she does die and leaves u all the money i will be fucking angry.

understand?

he replies:

Quote:

Okay i don't need any money from you again just let my wife be.. Leave her for me pls i do love her so much and i can't stop thinking about her, i can't stop loving her she is so important to me i just want too let you know that am really in love with her and nothing can changes my love for her. i will love her now and forever.

Hee hee. Mike must be wondering how the hell he gets his cash now? Where there's a will there's a way?

Love Phil X

EDIT: I think Mike needs to hear form Doughnut.

Good Morning Mr Connor,

My name is and I was the consultant surgeon who treated Ms Startz at her home and performed her recent and unfortunate amputations. I visited her yesterday and she asked me if I would be kind enough to contact you on her behalf. She wrote me a note which I have copied here:

Mike my darling sweet husband. I love you and Little Doughnut so much. Please don't forget me now that I am a cripple I think about you both every day. I hope to get better soon the doctors and nurses have been so kind. They are doing their best to stop the disease but I don't know how much longer I have.

My ex-husband Simon is in my house at the moment but I want him to leave. Please email him and tell him to go. I can't talk to him because I don't have a throat anymore.

Mike I'm so scared. I wish you were here with me.

I love you.

Doughnut X

As you may understand I have taken a risk contacting you because it breaks the Doctor/Patient confidentiality laws but I feel so sorry for Ms Startz who was a beautiful woman - not so much now - but still beautiful on the inside. What's left of it.

If you have any reply for her I will do my utmost to pass on your message.

Sincerely yours,

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 128

to be honest, I feel a bit sorry for Mike... Embarassed

but after all the only thing he wants is the money... beating

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:13 pm

I feel sorry for him too Orange Rose. Sorry he isn't suffering more! I want him broken; hugging his knees in the corner of the internet cafe sobbing and whispering to himself doughnut…doughnut…

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:06 pm

QOTSA??? TOO good! Shocked

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:00 am

^^ Thought you'd like that one, Chrys!

Well evil Simon replied to Malvis:

Quote:

hey gorgeous!

what a nice surprise to get a mail from u. i don't know how u got this address but i don't care - your bloody lovely. i love big women. u have got a fantastic fat ass.

I'm simon. i'm divorced and i'm 48 years of age. hope that's not too old. i used to have a wife called elena but we split up ages ago and she is sick. she will probably die. so i'm a bit sad and looking to start a new relationship.

i would love to know all about u and to see some more pictures.
take care,

simon X

And…she replies with THE SAME FORMAT Mike sent me back at the beginning of February just with a few changes of gender. Here's some highlights as it all seems quite relevant now:

Quote:

Good Morning Simon, would like to share with you now. I am reluctant to tell you about my past,
,I have had many bad experiences in my past relationships, and I will not fall into the same problem anymore,
I have used torture, and suffered many emotional from my ex and I will not be used or played with back in my life.
.My husband played me on a lot of games, and treated me so bad in our marriage.
.I are very grateful to read by telling me the truth about you and maybe you are interest in me or not.Tell me everything you have on your mind.

Malivs

Simon replies:

Quote:

hi malives,

yeah i know what u mean. my ex wife - the one i told u about - she is a right cow. i reckon the only reason she is still alive after all the operations is just to annoy me. i know w'eve been divorced for years and i was the one who left her but how did i know she was going to get loads of money off of her dead granny? i should have some of that cash for putting up with her for a year when we was married. don't u agree?
anyways she's got some idiot called mike now and he's welcome to what's left of her.

u seem much more my type of woman. and don't worry i wouldn't do anything to hurt u i promise. can i be honest with u? i've never had a black woman before. have u ever had a white bloke?

hope to hear from u soon and if u can send some more pictures of your lovely body i would be very happy to get them

love Simon X

And so the merry (and not so merry) go round spins again!

Love Phil X

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:23 pm

Not much work done this morning reading the saga of Doughnut, Mike and Susan.

All I have managed to do is 'wash' the computer screen with coffee about 8 times!

Brilliant...absolutely brilliant! clapping

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:46 pm

Thanks Lou!! Unfortunately my screen protector patent [coathanger/pair of tights/baseball cap] was rejected. Apparently, it's in the next Dyson catalogue.

Malvis, Malivs, Smaliv (take your pick, she does.) is continuing with her format:

Quote:

I understand you baby,I do not know how to express the conflicting emotions that have surged like a storm through my heart all night long. I only know that first and foremost in all my thoughts has been the glorious confirmation you gave me of all I have ever thought of your mind and heart am just happy to found a lovely and honest man like you, And i can't wait too spend the rest of my life with you, I can't stop thinking about you i wish am there with you in person I never thought that I would ever meet someone as special as you,I thank God that I have found a man like you. [surely, curse the day I ever met you?]

I wish that I could just call your name when I needed you and that you would be there. However, knowing that you love me so much is enough for now, and if I can be your wife and a mother to your children, then I would wait forever to be with you so what did you think about this?

Anyway i need a pics of you also okay

Kiss and Hug

Malivs

Simon is impressed:

Quote:

hey darling. u are saying all the right things. my wife never talked to me like that. u are a very exciting bird. and i do quite fancy u.

i haven't got any pics at the moment cos i am on my ex mrs computer and all my stuff is at home but i can tell u i am not a tom cruise or that posh bloke all the girls fancy - huge grant or whatever he's called.

do u know who brian blessed is? i been told i look a lot like him. except smaller. and without the beard.

hope to hear from u. thanks for the photos. u have got a lovely smile.

simon XXX

But what's this? Could it be…? Surely not?

Quote:

Dearest MIke

this is me doughnut. i have begged someone to let me send an email to you. i am a bit better now but i am still in alot of pain and someone else is typing this for me as i have no hands. Dr hazlett came last night and said u didnt reply to him when he was so kind to email u for me. have u abandend me already?

mike i love you so much. i hope you havent forgotten me i still dreem of u all the time and think of little doughnut too. i want u to know that if i get through this that i still want us to be together as a family.

i think simon is still in my house so sorry if he is causing u any problems. please don't forget me u are the only thing left i have.

i need to rest now. i love u mike i love u i love u.

doughnut xxxxxx

Be interesting to see who gets a reply first. Will it be Evil Simon? or Will it be Dying Doughnut?

Mike. The choice is yours!!

Love Phil X

Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 8:47 am

Yup! Not surprisingly Mike (as Malvis) is following the money trail. He writes:

Quote:

I know there's an ocean between us,
and I wish that it weren't true,
for every day when I arise,
I yearn to be with you.
Though a lot of distance lies between us,
you'll always be in my mind and my heart,
And every night beneath the stars,
I pray for the day am going too meet You In person,

[Hee hee. It doesn't rhyme at the end.]

I know someday we will meet and spend our lives with each other. I have waited for someone like you, and now that I have found you I will never let you go. I love you so much cos i love everything about You, I need a lovely and honest man like you, i will be very happy if you can always be honest with me i promise to spend the rest of my life with You only if you are not going too hurt me, have told my family and friends about You believe me Simon.

Honey i dont know brian blessed Okay..

Kiss Missed You Love

Malivs

I don't reply and get this:

Quote:

Hi Honey where are u been, have really missed you so much just thinking about you baby hope all is well and how is ur wife

malivs

Ahh. he want's to know how Doughnut is? That's interesting.

Simon responds:

Quote:

Hi Maliv!!

realy good to hear from u. i'm a bit stressed to be honest. i been thinking about you too u seem like a lovely genuin woman. and beautiful and sexy too. i keep thinking about what it would be like to be with u and it gets me excited. hope u dont mind!!

as for my wife she is still alive but i dont know for how much longer i thought i better go and see her becos u know she has got a lot of money and i don't want her to do anything stupid with it and give it all to that knobhead Mike. but she has told the peeple in charge that she dont want to see me she still thinks that Mike loves her or something even tho i think he has left her.

anyways i have got to sort out lawyers and shit becos i think she might have changed her will to give everything to him and i dont want that and i would think u dont want it either baby cos if i get that money we can have a really good time with it!!

write soon darling. i should be moving out of her house soon and gong back home. i think i got all i need from her house. im taking all her stuff with me! Ha ha!! if she does ever come back here it'll look like she was robbed!

love simon. XXX

PS my friends call me bulldog. u can call me bulldog too if u like. do u have a pet name malvis?

Is Mike waiting to see which way the wind blows? What's happened to Little Doughnut? Will Big Doughnut get her new robot arms and legs? Time will tell.

Love Phil X

Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 7:57 pm

...the plot thickens! Thumbs up

Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:30 pm

Aaaah, this baits saves me money not spent on cinema tickets!

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:06 pm

^^Hmm…wonder what film this would be? Mommie Dearest?
WIRE HANGERS!!!

Mavlis cuts n pastes:

Quote:

bulldog I knew you were someone special. I knew by the way you looked at me, talked to me and was there for me. I was afraid to love again... afraid of the pain it might bring. But in a short time, you showed me that real love wasn't painful or deceiving. You showed me that I deserved to be loved and happy. You gave new meaning to my life and I could never thank you enough for that! You truly are a Godsend to me!
I am thinking about you. cos me i can't wait too meet you again i just you were here with me or am there with u in person i love you so much and i promise too never let you down believe me i will love you till the test of my love..

you are all mine. I don`t know what I did good in this life to deserve you, but I have must been doing something very good in my life! Being with you makes me feel like the entire world is mine. One day we will marry and have a soccer team of kids ... I am dreaming about that. I love you, Baby, and I am yours forever!!

Honey do something about that so we can get to meet in person Love you miss you.

bulldog i love this name and i will always called you that

Kiss and hug

Mlaivs

Bulldog replies:

Quote:

my lovely mavlis. thanks for saying such nice stuff about me. i wish i could say the same about u but i cant becos i dont have fancy words like u do.

all i can say is i really want to pork u and u have a nice arse.

i love that u call me bulldog and i will call u my muppet - like the cuddly puppets.

night night muppet

bulldog x

I really hope Muppet doesn't ask for money too soon. I want an egg-timer!

Love Phil X