Crap format of the day

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Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:00 pm

For me, anyway. We all get those short and terrible ones, but the formats that really stand out are the long-winded, nonsensical ones. This one has it all. No paragraphs, all caps, looks like the guyman who wrote it was on amphetamines. Anyone else had a good 'un?

Quote:

From: [email protected]
Subject: URGENT GET BACK TO HAVE YOUR MONEY TRANSFER MTCN,

THIS IS TO NOTIFY ALL OUR CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE LATEST DEVELOPMENT ONCERNING ALL THE PAYMENT THAT ARE LEFT IN OUR CUSTODY, WHICH YOURS IS NCLUSIVE BESIDES, YOU WERE GIVEN A BILL OF $235,IN ORDER TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT OF WHICH WE DIDNT HEAR FROM YOU FOR SOMETIME NOW. HENCE, OUR WESTERN UNION IS NOW OFFERING A SPECIAL BONUS OR THE YEAR WORTH OF (USD $650,000.00 ) TO HELP ALL OUR CUSTOMERS THAT ARE HAVING THEIR PAYMENT IN OUR CUSTODY DUE TO OF PRICES. IN ORDER WORDS WE ARE NOW REQUESTING THAT THOSE INVOLVE SHOULD PAY ONLY THE SUM OF $95.00 TO RECEIVE ALL THEIR PAYMENT ABANDONED IN OUR CUSTODY. BESIDES, MY DEAR, THIS IS HE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU AND HAS TO COMPLY AND OUR FUNDS SHALL BE TRANSFER TO YOUR DESIGNATED ADDRESS. BUT REMEMBER THAT AFTER 2DAYS) YOU DID NOT MAKE THE PAYMENT THEN WE WILL DIVERT YOUR FUNDS TO GOVERNMENT ACCOUNT, TO AVOID PROBLEM OR WE WILL CANCEL THE PAYMENT FOR THIS YEAR UNTIL NEXT YEAR BECAUSE THIS YEAR IS NOT LIKE LAST YEAR. AGAIN AFTER (2 DAYS) WE WILL ENTER A NEW PROJECT FOR THE YEAR AND THAT IS THE REASON WHY WE DECIDED TO HELP ALL OUR CUSTOMERS BEFORE WE ENTER INTO THE NEW PROJECT. SO BE ADVISE TO END THE $95.00 IMMEDIATELY RECEIVE THIS MESSAGE SO WE WILL REGISTER YOUR PAYMENT AND FOR YOU TO START RECEIVING $4,500 AS FROM TODAY. REASON WHY YOU ARE REQUESTED TO PAY THIS FEE $95.00 IS FOR REGISTRATION OF YOUR PAYMENT BY FEDERAL INISTER OF FINANCE. BE INFORMED THAT THERE IS NO TIME AGAIN FOR WE TO CALL ANY PERSON ON PHONE. AFTER THE PAYMENT OF $95.00 YOU WILL START RECEIVING YOUR MONEY EVERY DAY $4,500 THROUGH WESTERN UNION AND ALSO $4,500 THROUGH MONEY GRAM UNTIL THE FULL PAYMENT OF $650,000.00 IS COMPLETED. SO WHAT YOU WILL BE RECEIVING PER DAY IS $4,500 AND YOUR TOTAL FUND/AMOUNT TO RECEIVE FROM US IS 650,000.00 DOLLARS. YOUR INFORMATION IS HIGHLY NEEDED TO US.
RECEIVER NAME_______________
COUNTRY______________________ CITY__________________________
TEL___________________________
TEST QUESTION________________
ANSWER______________________
CONTACT THE DIRECTOR WITH THIS INFORMATION:
DIRECTOR R. JOHN EDGAREL: +229 96-19-563 0AEMAIL; ([email protected]) SEND THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM MONEY RANSFER WITH THE INFORMATION BELOW: CITY....................... COTONOU COUNTRY............. BENIN REPUBLIC TEXT UESTION......URGENT ANSWER................NEEDED AMOUNT................$95 RECEIVER: WABUNNE SIMEON
THE MOMENT E RECEIVE THE PAYMENT OF $95 WILL START TRANSFERRING YOUR PAYMENTS OF $4,500 O YOU UNTIL THE TOTAL AMOUNT IS COMPLETED. SINCERELY MR. JOHN EDGAR BRANCH MANAGER.

Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:51 pm

Luckily, ALL CAPS is a nice easy thing to train people to watch out for!

But that's quite a wall of text you have there. TL;DR as the internet kids say these days Wink

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:35 am

LOL, I got the exact opposite:

Quote:

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF LOAN OR ANY FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE CONTACT US
Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2011 21:48:49 +0200
From: information<[email protected]>
Reply-To: <[email protected]>

APPLY

That's it, 1 stinkin word. Either the lads are getting lazier, or they must be paying by the word now. Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:51 am

TheDarkSpecter wrote:

LOL, I got the exact opposite:

Quote:

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF LOAN OR ANY FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE CONTACT US
Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2011 21:48:49 +0200
From: information<[email protected]>
Reply-To: <[email protected]>

APPLY

That's it, 1 stinkin word. Either the lads are getting lazier, or they must be paying by the word now. Laughing

Uber-minimalism Laughing

Answer him with just a stop mark. Makes for a very short lived, but funny bait Very Happy

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:24 am

Quote:

TO AVOID PROBLEM OR WE WILL CANCEL THE PAYMENT FOR THIS YEAR UNTIL NEXT YEAR BECAUSE THIS YEAR IS NOT LIKE LAST YEAR

That's the part that did it for me. The lad who wrote that clearly works for British Telecom bill enquiries (Delhi).

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:29 am

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:

Quote:

TO AVOID PROBLEM OR WE WILL CANCEL THE PAYMENT FOR THIS YEAR UNTIL NEXT YEAR BECAUSE THIS YEAR IS NOT LIKE LAST YEAR

That's the part that did it for me. The lad who wrote that clearly works for British Telecom bill enquiries (Delhi).

May I say "I don't get it". Because, really, I don't Very Happy

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:03 am

^^ It's perfectly clear to me Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:33 am

To truly get it, you need to have spent a fun 2 hours navigating British Telecom's options menus and finally getting connected to an outsourced call centre in India, complete with cute local dialect.

In fairness to BT, it's not just them.

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:43 am

Quote:

APPLY

TL;DR

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:40 pm

Then there are the lads who send an email, but their "offer" or "scam" is in their attachment.

One lazy lad could not even make up a fake bank document, but just did it in the body of the email.

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:10 pm

bohigal wrote:

T

stopped reading there...

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:11 pm

I've just thought of a worse one.

Quote:

Am poor. Send monie!

In fact, that's so bad I'll think send it to a couple of thousand lads right now. Wink

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:30 pm

Found this in Eater U which may explain the use of all CAPS.

Quote:

WHY DO LADS ALWAYS USE CAPITAL LETTERS ?

BECAUSE IN WEST AFRICA KEYBOARDS ARE BI-LINGUAL (WESTERN AND ARAB , AND THE CAPS-LOCK TOGGLES BEETWEEN THEN. . WHEN I USE AN INTERNET CAFE , I ALSO NEED TO WRITE IN CAPS .

sometimes , in hi-end cybercafes (the "for whites only") they have propper English keyboards. but most of the times is DWORAK( The french keyb arrangemente) or Arabic . (and Its a difficult decision !!! Smile _

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:35 pm

Got this in my box today....

Quote:

CLAIMS PROCESSING FORM:
Names:

Location:

Tel: