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 They don't read your first mail or pictures - now with piggy

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Morgain Le Fay
Pistol-packin' Mama


Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Posts: 5800
Location: Taking my new .38 special to the range


PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 9:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Some of them claim to be Muslim when I have asked about that, which makes the "gay" or "bi" thing even more unusual.

We have a bait going right now. The guy says he is Muslim, however he celebrates Hindu and Christian and Chinese holidays (and he is allegedly not Chinese) -- he is one confused man.

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sunshine
lolcat


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Lads can be very fluid with religion and I've had a few lads convert from one to the other quicker than you can say "apostasy" Smile

The fragrant Miss Favour is just coming off script now, we've had the "contact transfer officer Mr Andrew Murray at Bank of Royal Scotland" (must be tricky to fit that job in around his tennis career) email which contained the "address" to send the tea to which is:
Quote:

country..........................snegal
city..............................dakar
adress................................quakam
phone number.................00221-776885092


Yep, sure the postman will find that.

Anyway I let the lad wait over the weekend which caused a couple of "write to the bank... do it quick" mails and on Monday I told him where I have been...

Quote:
Dear Miss Favour

Thank you for your electronic mail. I am sorry that I did not reply sooner but I had an urgent message that I needed to travel to Scotland as my younger cousin Eddie had managed to gain the friendship of two lady mere-drakes and so it was, to use his modern vernacular, "game on". So I flew myself up to Caithness on Friday night (it's easier for me to travel at night for obvious reasons) and a most pleasant time was had by all, although I am rather tired so after I've written this I might just have a nice cup of camomile tea and have a lie down.

There is a small problem I need to bring to your attention. I asked one of my acolytes to send you tea I had promised but he has informed me that the address you gave to me was insufficient. He was also a little puzzled as he could not find anywhere called "Quakam" although there was somewhere by the name of Ouakam but it was quite a large area. Could you please send your address again as I am quite keen for you to receive this. We did try to call your reverend friend but only one telephone number appears to work and it was not answered, maybe he was conducting a ritual of worship at the time.

Now in your electronic mail you mentioned that you would give me 15% of the money you have in this bank. That is very generous of you but quite unnecessary as I already have quite enough money for my needs and those of my household as I have told you, but thank you all the same.

However before I contact Mr Murray at The Royal Bank of Scotland I would like to ask you if you have anything that I can show him to prove that you have title to the money you wish me to transfer? After all I am sure Mr Murray, given his position, is a most careful gentleman and diligent in his responsibilities and it would be very derelict of him if he were to merely transfer money to my accounts on the strength of a single email.

So do you have anything like a deposit certificate or bank statement? Also you should probably write a letter of introduction in your own hand that I can present to the bank to prove my bona fides. Could you get those for me today and then I will be sure to contact the bank to affect the transfer.

I will end here for now as one of my acolytes has brought me my camomile tea.

I look forward to hearing from you again soon. Please don't forget to send the documents and your address.

With the kindest of regards

Ethelius


Naughty dragon Embarassed I didn't call him of course, I never do and I find "your phone doesn't work" or "I called and you never answered it" good excuses that tend to shut lads up.

Still it got the lad off script, I can tell as he's stopped using capital letters.

Quote:
hello darling good after noon how is today hope fine honey i am very happy to hear from you today. dear hearing from you makes me to fill as the happiest girl on earth after 4 time.honey please try to be emailing me all the time so that i will be filling at home dear you know that i dont have any one by my side except only you even for only this 3 day you nearly kill me with silent but i letter understand that you travel so how is the journey hope you arrived well you are welcome dear.honey i hear every thing you said i want to thank you for your effort trying to help me out of this my present situation it s shows that you are a good and caring person i will like to be with to spend the rest of my life with honey i will do as you said i will send it to you but the problem now is that i don t have money to scan it i even inform our reverend about that he said that our church need to buy instrument that is why he said that he don t have money at hand now please dear i dont know if you will help me with the money so that i will send it today mean why our reverend told me that it will cost at list 100 eur to scan it please just try for me so that i will send it today i am waiting to hear from you today remain bless yours lovely favour.


Senegal orphan love lads will often pull this trick of asking for a little bit of money, it's a way of seeing if you're serious before getting to the big money but it does mean we don't have to deal with the tedious scripted "bank" communications yet. Anyway Ethelius is more interested in all this lovey dovey stuff coming from the lad so it's time to start asking a few personal questions:

Quote:
Good day Miss Evans

Thank you for your kind email. I am sorry about the previous delay in writing to you but as I said I travelled to Scotland to visit my cousin Eddie and his new lady friends. I travelled very well and arrived home safely thank you. I can see I will have to try and gain some form of mobile communications device for when I travel. One of my acolytes showed me a new kind of device the other day which he called an "iPad" which was very nice but a little bit difficult to use as I do not believe Apple has my people in mind when they designed it. Maybe they could make it in a larger size and call it an iDragon or something similar.

It's very nice that you want to spend the rest of your life with me, that would be most pleasant. However may I ask if you are looking for a platonic relationship or are your intentions for a more sexual relationship? I am quite happy for the latter and I have been described as a kind and considerate lover in the past. Of course we would have to work out some physical details for obvious reasons but I am certain with time and care we could come to some kind of mutually pleasurable outcome. However I should mention that I am not by nature monogamous so an exclusive relationship would not be possible, I hope that does not disappoint you.

As to the scan well yes I can see that money would be a problem for you at the moment but I am surprised that your church does not have any money. From my experience institutions of religion are often very wealthy, one only needs to look at the current pontiff - I am sure those Prada shoes do not purchase themselves! However I think things may be different on the African continent and I am sure that your good friend the Reverend spends much of his money on supporting the refugee camp he runs; he sounds like quite the philanthropist.

In the circumstances I am sure that I can help you with the purchase of a scanning device. I shall consult my acolyte Stephen who is most well-versed in matters technological as he looks after my computer and the telescopes and even managed to repair the orrery last week (although the poor boy is completely perplexed by my astrolabe, modern education does not seem to regard tuition in its use to be a useful skill it would seem) and make enquires as to the best kind to acquire. However I am a little puzzled as you said it would cost "100 eur", what is is "eur", is that the currency you use in Senegal because I thought your currency was the Franc, is this not so?

I look forward to your reply.

With warmest regards

Ethelius.


I don't know, 3000+ year old eight ton fire breathing reptile and a 5'4" 18 year old orphan girl... I'm sure we can make that work
Laughing

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14911
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey, 3000 years old and you haven't learned to shapeshift?

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I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

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rocknrollnobody
Master Baiter


Joined: 06 Jan 2010
Posts: 154


PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey, at 60 my Dad struggles with an iPad, so God only know how you'll manage at over 3000...with huge talons...

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"WESTERN UNIN SAY IT FAKE AND YOU LIE. THEY LAUGH AND I FEEL FOOL. I WAIT FOR 5 HOUR TO GET WESTERN OFFICE AND YOU TRICK ME. I AM HIGH RESPECTED BANK OFFICIAL AND YOU TRICK ME WITH LIES AND FAKERY" - C0llin Sh1elds (a high respected bank official, apparently)
"I hope this is not another game as i do not have time for such games as i mean business here. I would not want to commence on a never ending journey or an uncompleted project with an unserious man." - Barrister Joseph Goldsmith doesn't want a never-ending project. Shame...
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sunshine
lolcat


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 11:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Yastreb - of course I can... but it would take all the fun out of it Smile Anyway I want to save that particular skill for my first trip to the Western Onion office in Llamedos.

Lad is predictably focussing on the money:
Quote:

Hello darling good after noon how is every thing over there hope fine,honey i am already filling as if i am with you now but never the less i know that one day we will be together dear i will even like it to be nest week so that we can see our self face to face okay, honey i understand what you mean yes we use Franc here if it is in franc is 65.595.7 please dear try to make every thing to be fast i realy want to go out of here because here is not good for a living being honey can you imagine that we only eat once here not more of drinking a good water here that is why i want to live here to come over there and have my freedom with you please darling i am waiting to hear from you today remain bless your lovely favour.


Ethelius the dragon is focussing on, well...

Quote:
Greetings Miss Favour

Everything is well over here thank you although the weather isn't very pleasant, it is cold and raining and I was unable to look at the stars yesterday which is a great shame as Venus is in perihelion at the moment and would have been quite visible (if you look to the east before dawn you should see it low in the sky)

It would be nice to see you face to face Miss Favour and I am looking forward to that. However you didn't answer my question about what kind of relationship you were actually looking for. I would like to know so that there are no unfortunate misunderstandings. Is it a physical and sexual relationship you seek or are you looking for a more platonic relationship, perhaps as one of my acolytes?

Your amount in Francs is somewhat confusing as you have included two decimal points at seemingly random intervals. Do you mean 65,595.70 Francs or 65.5957 Francs? Maybe it would be simpler if I arranged for the purchase of a scanner and sent it to your address in Senegal. I could include some packets of my favourite teas as well. I do so like tea. You did say the water there was not good though which is a shame as you need good water to make tea correctly. I will send a bottle of Pidin Tawr spring water along as well. I trust you possess a kettle and teapot?

With kindest regards


... tea of course Cool

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
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sunshine
lolcat


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 12:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

OK so we've cleared up the relationship thing, she's easy... maybe some sort of sling arrangement will work, it kind of did for Catherine the Great Embarassed

And we've fixed the misunderstanding with the money.

Quote:
Hello dear good evening how is today hope fine honey please try all that you could do for me please. about your question any type of relationship among the 2 i will welcome that also the amount is like this 65.5957 france darling in case if you whant to send it you can send it through western unioun with our revrend address so that he can get the money for me with his id card honey i am waiting to hear from you today remain bless miss favour.
here is his adress
name...............reverendsimonjohnson
country...................senegal
city..........................dakar
waiting to hear as you send it todat.


Unfortunately 65.59 CAF Francs is about 8 pence / 14 cents Rolling Eyes

Ethelius flaps over to the keyboard...
Quote:

Hello Miss Favour.

Thank you for your kind email. I am rather pleased that you are open to a sexual relationship with me, I do find that so few of your kind are, I cannot for the life of me think why. I'm certainly looking forward to making your intimate acquaintance. Do you have any particular style or position of lovemaking which you prefer?

I understand from you letter you require 65.5957 Senegalese Francs. I'm sure I'll be able to manage that for you, it does not sound like very much money at all.

However I am not familiar with this "western unioun" you mention. What is that? I understand all monetary payments are made by means of electronic bank transfers. Can you send me the bank account information of your reverend friend so I can arrange for one of my acolytes to send the money to you.

With kindest regards

Ethelius

PS: Would it be alright with you if you were to dress up as a princess?


And as if by magic a piggy appears (details edited out)!

Quote:
Hello darling good after noon i am very very happy to received from you today please darling i thank you for your kin on me trying to help me out of this my present situation GOD will bless you for that. dear any one from you is the one i will welcome because i will like to make sure that i give you the best okay yes dear it will be up right for me to dress as a princess.darling i talk with our reverend and he give me this account information s,is our church bank account it will be easy for me to go and received the money.
HERE IS THE INFORMATION S,

Bank Name: CBAO GROUP ATTIJARIWAFA BANK (DAKAR SENEGAL)
Bank Address: CBAO YOFF DAKAR SENEGAL
Beneficiary Name: EMEKA LEONARD O B I E K W E
Account number: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Serial no. 01313
Code Swift: CBAOSNDA
BANK CODE K0012

waiting to hear from you today as you send it remain bless yours lovely favour.


So there you have it. You can pretend to be a dragon (and a bit of a pervy one at that) and you can still get them to cough up a bank account.

Lads Laughing

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Safari Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
Safari Bola - Accra - Cotonou Safari Alex - Accra - Abidjan Safari Austin - Accra - Abidjan
Safari George - Accra - Cotonou - Lome - Niamtougou Safari Toks London - Milford Haven
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Simply Smashing! Very Happy clapping

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the vampire
Boring Baiter


Joined: 27 Jul 2008
Posts: 3601
Location: playmobil land


PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I would love to see some photo's of this princess. Preferably clothed in some non-flamable material.

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14911
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

sunshine wrote:
OK so we've cleared up the relationship thing, she's easy... maybe some sort of sling arrangement will work, it kind of did for Catherine the Great Embarassed


You should know that the story about Catherine the Great and horses is a complete load of bollocks...

http://www.snopes.com/risque/animals/catherine.asp

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 180
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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ http://www.snopesfordragons.com/risque/animals/catherine.asp disagrees.

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14911
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 9:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, http://www.elfbeastmastersnopes.com/risque/animals/catherine/theresnotruthtotheoneaboutherandhorses.asp has the definitive rebuttal!

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 180
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
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sunshine
lolcat


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Laughing Laughing Laughing

(Actually I did know the legend regarding Catherine the Great's demise was untrue)

The bait has now got to the "please send the payment slip for the bank transfer" and the usual delaying modalities now so I'll probably leave off posting any more unless the lad does anything funny, like persuading a female accomplice to dress up as a princess and sends me the pics.

I have asked "her"

Quote:
I'm happy you are also agreeable to dressing up as a princess. Would you also be amenable to a little light bondage? Nothing serious and we will of course agree on a safe-word. I would just like to tie you up a little and then pace about in front of you roaring and you could pretend to scream for help. I think that would be a lot of fun, don't you?


but she hasn't got back to me on that yet. Shocked

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Safari Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
Safari Bola - Accra - Cotonou Safari Alex - Accra - Abidjan Safari Austin - Accra - Abidjan
Safari George - Accra - Cotonou - Lome - Niamtougou Safari Toks London - Milford Haven
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

haha! Are you so surprised? Laughing

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