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Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 7:56 am

It's a generally held belief among baiters that scammers don't read the first mail that you send and quite often that's true. I've found Senegal based love/orphan scammers especially prone to replying to initial mails that say "I bet your dad was a cocoa magnet" or "Show us your t*ts or GTFO".

However as an experiment I wondered what you would happen if you sent them a ridiculous picture or two along with your opening mail... something like this:

Quote:

Greetings

I was very happy to hear from you as I'm quite new to this email business, one of my acolytes told me that I really should get involved in it as it was very modern and a good way to meet new people without me scaring them too much (I am a little bit frightening at first but I really am quite nice for a dragon and I haven't eaten anyone for centuries and only then because they deserved it, there were a lot of very wicked kings back then).

I think I do have a good sense of humour and I enjoy music and singing (my people always sing when we are happy, we're famous for it) and I am told I am a gentle and considerate lover, especially given my size, which I do take as a nice compliment. I think of myself as quite mature as I'm 3249 years old by the way you measure time but that's still quite young for my kind, my mother says I still have my baby scales - which isn't true but she's my mother and I love her so I just humour her.

For myself I mostly stay here in my lair with my acolytes who look after me and do a lot of the day-to-day interaction with the outside world for obvious reasons. However I have recently been doing some acting work for a drama programme which was most exciting although they did have to overdub my voice because they said my voice would frighten little children who were part of the "target demographic" (they do talk a lot of nonsense at the BBC) so they had this actor do my voice - I met him, he was awfully nice, we had tea together.

Speaking of tea it's a very important part of my culture. Do you like tea?

Anyway I seem to have rambled on, it's a fault of mine, I do love to talk.

Maybe you will write back to me.

With Kind Regards

Ethelius Mantacorum Draconis

Accompanied by:

and this one (it's my better side)

What, you mean you thought the Great Dragon in the BBC TV series "Merlin" was done in CGI? Wink

I sent this out to five lads and to be honest was not expecting a reply, I mean just how stupid can lads be...

... er, very stupid as it turns out.

Quote:

Dearest,

How was your night over there in your country and the day,i believe you had a
nice night and that the atmosphere over there in your country is very nice
today? Mine was a little bit warm over here in Dakar Senegal.
My name is favourevans i am (23yrs) but age doesn't matter in a real
relationship,so i am comfortable with your age,

blah blah cocoa magnet blah rebels blah blah dead parent blah civil war blah refugee camp etc, etc etc...

That's nice, age doesn't matter, you don't think an age gap of over 3200 years is a bit much though?

I Wonder if young Miss Favour would like to become an acolyte?

Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:22 am

Favour Evans? Hey she loves me as well.

insults and more · Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:58 am

She was overtaken by your handsome reptilian looks.

I shall have to try baiting as an Ewok to see if lads' preferences extend to the furry.

Master Baiter Joined: 06 Jan 2010 Posts: 154

leonsumbitches wrote:

She was overtaken by your handsome reptilian looks.

I shall have to try baiting as an Ewok to see if lads' preferences extend to the furry.

Or try baiting as a fish that was given super intelligence by scientists and then escaped, and is now swimming the 7 seas....and emailing..

here · Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:39 am

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ooh I think this sounds like who is desperately trying to befriend one of my characters, I smell fun

will fwd an email to you

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:08 pm

Fridge wrote:

Favour Evans? Hey she loves me as well.

You mean Favour is dating you as well! But in her second part of her script she said she hated unfaithfulness!

She's nothing but a heartbreaker, I shall have to set her on fire Laughing

Incidentally of the five lads I sent this to now FOUR have replied! Truly lad lazyness and / or stupidity knows no bounds.

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:11 pm

Maybe they're after your hoard. Treasure Type H, I believe.

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:06 pm

They never take notice when I write "May the Flame of Udûn watch over you" either.... I think they're used to supernatural stuff. After all, Africa is where King Kong was discovered - why not dragons and fire demons?

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 5:02 pm

Hey! Favour loves me too!!!

insults and more · Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 5:21 pm

Rocknrollnobody: I do have a nanotechnologically enhanced, sapient porpoise researcher in MIT. He extends his flipper in warm greetings.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Oct 2010 Posts: 77

Favour loves me too - haha - amazing how much we tie these b4st4rds up isnt' it?

GREAT dragon post btw - i lawled Smile

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 5:49 pm

@sunshine Loved the pics. I recognized right off as I have been watching that series.

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 5:54 pm

Yastreb wrote:

Maybe they're after your hoard. Treasure Type H, I believe.

I think you are right there. Will definitely have to breathe on her. I seem to recall that's 8d6 damage if she fails a saving throw Very Happy

@Morgain Le Fay - I thought with your name you might just have seen it.

This is how I replied.

Quote:

Greetings Miss Favour

Thank you for writing back to me so quickly, that was very polite of you. The night was rather a cool one but clear here in the United Kingdom where I am living at the moment, I live on a small island off the coast of Wales which is very secluded and which suits me very well. I spent the evening watching the stars and planets as there was a conjunction of Venus and Jupiter in the constellation of Sagittarius that I wished to observe. Did you know that in the legends of my people it is said that we become stars after we die? I'm not sure if that is actually true but it is a comforting thought.

I'm now sat here in my morning room, it overlooks the sea and catches the sunrise which is quite beautiful this morning. I am also taking a cup of tea, a nice Earl Grey blend with a small slice of lemon. I do like tea. You didn't say if you liked tea in your email. I do hope you like tea. What is your favourite blend and do you take sugar?

I was very saddened to read of your parents and the war. Humans can be such destructive little things with their guns and rockets can't they. What a tragedy for you. However you seem to have put this misfortune behind you as you look quite happy in your photograph. I did send you some pictures of myself in my last mail, did you not see them?

Yes I am certain that age is not important in relationships, I have never found my age to be a problem in dealings with your kind even though I'm quite a lot older in your terms than most people I meet.

I like a lot of the things that you like also, my cooking tends to be rather simple, usually I just burn things before I eat them if I am cooking for myself but my acolytes tend to cook for me so food is somewhat finer than just a crispy burnt cow. As to hobbies I am rather fond of stunt and formation flying and I do like my new acting roles (apparently I am going to have a small part in the next "Harry Potter" movie and I have been told that the BBC have commissioned a new series of "Merlin" and want me to reprise my role from the first two series which will be nice as I will get to work with that nice Mr John Hurt and the other fellow who played Victor Meldrew again.)

However these are really just hobbies as I have quite enough wealth and what you would call money to not have to have anything like a job or career as your kind do.

Anyway I do look forward to hearing more about you in your next mail and I hope you will write back to me soon. Do be sure and tell me about your tea preferences won't you.

With kindest regards

Ethelius Mantacorum Draconis.

... and the lad moved onto the "I have $lots" part of the script. However there is some good news:

Quote:

I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only
person that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father
to me.honey i will answer you now i like tea very very well i am also happy as you like that GOD will see us true.

Excellent! I shall send you my favourite Assam blend by Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:42 pm

I've got Favour Arisa and I deaded her lawyer's website.

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 2:29 am

Quote:

Africa is where King Kong was discovered

gotta use that one Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 06 Jan 2010 Posts: 154

leonsumbitches wrote:

Rocknrollnobody: I do have a nanotechnologically enhanced, sapient porpoise researcher in MIT. He extends his flipper in warm greetings.

Awesome, I mean, why do dragons get to have intelligent fun?

Also, @Sunshine, how are you typing? Those talons look pretty epic for a standard keyboard...

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 10:38 am

^^^ I have a secretary who takes dictation Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 3:00 pm

sunshine, I'm glad that you are doing a reprise of your dragon baits. There are many new people here that are in for a real treat. These always crack me up. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 3:26 pm

There is no dragon better than the one Sunshine is using (from the Merlin series)............a talking dragon who has sage advise.

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:23 pm

Love lads love desperate nutters, I'm sure they've had their fair share of replies from mature D&D players looking to enter the dark dungeon and swing their short sword +1 about, shouting 'By the power of Greyskull!'.. if you know what I mean Wink

... 'Kob the Mule Beater' was my character name by the way .. 12th/10th level dwarven warrior/rouge .. handy with an axe and sling.

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 11:50 pm

^^^ I always ended up playing clerics for some reason.

Senegal love lads are indeed a breed apart. I'm convinced you could just reply "By the power of Greyskull" for the first five or six email exchanges and they would keep plodding on. However they are worth persisting with because if you do get one off script they can be very tenacious and highly amusing as you push them way out of their comfort zone.

I've got a good feeling about Favour after this exchange:

Quote:

Good Morning Miss Favour

Thank you for your electronic mail. My day is going well thank you and I am once again in my morning room although the weather is quite cool and cloudy today. I was pleased that you like tea as much as I do, I have a nice cup of English Breakfast Tea here which one of my acolytes has just served me with a sugar cube and a small dash of fresh milk. It is quite delicious and I might even have a second cup whilst I peruse the morning newspaper; I see in the news that in the political sphere the shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, on Alan Johnson MP, has resigned his post over the mere trifle of his wife having sexual relationships with another man. This behaviour I have always found most puzzling among people; it is not the same among my kind as if one of us has warm feelings to another we will often mate together, sometimes with several partners at the same time, we find this quite natural but I think we do not have the strong jealousies that your kind sometimes experience. I really should explore this area at some time, maybe you could enlighten me with your thoughts in the subject if you have a mind to?

Ah so you are in Dakar in the country of Senegal. It has been may years since I have been there, it was not a very large place then, on a headland by the sea as I recall. A quite pleasant location I seem to remember although I was not there for very long as we had just stopped off en-route to Windhoek to visit the bones of my ancestors and form thence to the Spice Islands and far Cathay. It must be most pleasantly warm at this time of year unlike chilly Wales where I am living. Yes I also remember the inhabitants speaking the French language. Souhaitez-vous comme moi d'écrire en français? Je parle couramment la langue. Although we can continue to converse in English; as you prefer.

I am sorry to hear about the conditions under which you are living, they sound extremely harsh and, if I may use the word, draconian. I am surprised to hear that you are not allowed any money. I would have thought that the Senegalese authorities would be happy to let you access your father's money as then you could leave the camp and they would not have to spend money to feed and clothe you that I am sure they would prefer to spend on their own citizens.

Still under the circumstances I am sure that I could be of assistance to you if this is a simple matter of a financial transaction. I have a young acolyte here named Peter who is quite well versed in banking and financial matters and I am sure he could arrange for this money of yours to be transferred to one of our accounts somewhere in the world. If you can pass me the necessary information I will arrange matters for you.

As you like tea I would like to send you some of my favourite blend. It is a quite unique leaf tea grown only in the Karakoram mountains at a very high altitude and is quite rare and valuable. Would you be so kind as to let me know your postal address so I may send you some as my gift to you. I am sure you will find it quite the finest tea you have tasted.

I do look forward to hearing from you soon in your next electronic mail.

With kind regards

Ethelius

in reply...

Quote:

My dearest one
How are today, hope you are fine, dear i want to thank you for all your effort and care towards me, i want to tell you that you have given me hope and i will also like to see you face to face,

I'll have to bend down I suppose if you want that, pray I don't sneeze.

Quote:

blah blah money blah blah reverend father blah blah Bank of Royal Scotland blah contact bank for transfer blah please send tea here is the adress.
country..........................snegal
city..............................dakar
adress................................quakam
phone number.................00221-776885092

Excellent... tea is on its way. I shall be expecting a full report on how you enjoyed it

Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 9:41 pm

wowwow wrote:

... 'Kob the Mule Beater' was my character name by the way .. 12th/10th level dwarven warrior/rouge .. handy with an axe and sling.

Ah, so you were a Red Dwarf?

Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 10:06 pm

I played Raven, Arab thief and robber. Had my own inn with a basement with gang and dungeon. Good times. We played the real D&D, not AD&D, with adapted rules, though.

Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 10:11 pm

Rogue .. dammit not rogue /ɹoʊɡ/ Wink

, very witty.

Actually in those days they were called Fighter/Thief , warrior was actually an NPC class. But have played a lot of other games since, Baldurs gate, NWN .. Sorry I'm now sounding very old and boring.

There are quite a few baiter ex-D&D players ..anyone fancy getting the old dice out again, I have a huge collection of D&D stuff (PM me)

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Nice bait! I'm surprised they answered your question about tea, and just skimmed over eating burnt cow in the same email.
Brilliant job!

Most of my lovebaiters (Why do I have the urge to sing Lady gaga?) end up gay (or bi). Which is mildly odd for supposedly devout Christians, but never mind.

Very Happy

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