Loving a...Time Lord?!

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

I've been reading up on how utterly stupid some of the lovebaiters are. And so, I decided to test it for myself.
After an alarming amount of supposedly devout Christians/Muslims going gay, I decided to try something else.

Quote:

Hello Vera.
My name is the Doctor, I am what is known as a Time Lord from Galifrey. I like travelling around space and time in my vehicle known as the 'TARDIS', which resembles a blue box. I also quite like fezzes and bow ties. I dislike Daleks, Cybermen, and Vashta-Nerada. Presently, I'm travelling with a married couple (Amy and Rory Pond).
I am glad to hear that you are a God Fearing person: I know how important that is. Several years ago I defeated the devil by throwing him into a black hole.
I will call you once I get my phone fixed. Unfortunately my sonic screwdriver was eaten by a shark on Christmas, so I need to get a new one before I can fix my phone.
I have a picture of myself attached.

(Attached was a picture of the delightful Matt Smith).
Yeah...no chance anyone would respond huh? I really didn't think so. Even if they've never heard of Doctor Who (You'll get a lot more enjoyment out of this if you're a complete geek, like me), anyone who throws the devil into a black hole...well...
And yet

Quote:

Hello My Dear
How are you and your day, I hope all is well with you.
I felt warm in my heart whenever i hear from you,though, i have not seen you (yes you have. I sent you the picture) but i am happy that you are there to make me happy and i know that i will be with you soon. Nothing will change my love for you, i know that we are one,My love, thank you for all your thought and your love for me, i will forever be for you, i will like to come over there for good life and happiness and a better life and i promise to love and obey you for the rest of my life.
I want to compose a poem for you and our love.
Love is like a butterfly in so many ways.
It brings a bit of sunshine even on gloomy days (Incendiary butterflies!)
It makes our souls feel lighter just to know it's there
Giving our spirits wings, as if floating in the air.
It carries us to places that we never knew before (...big butterfly)
And comes in many sizes, shapes and colors galore.
Loving you and knowing that you love me has made me feel great.
Meanwhile,i will have to stop here for now and i will like to hear again from you!
Yours forever in love.

How sweet... I got a poem. I could've have written a better one than that when i was sixteen.
And strangely, no mention of sharks or sonic screwdrivers. Ah well, let's see how far this will go...

Quote:

Hello sweetie, that was a beautiful poem. And I have a lot of experience in those matters; I met Shakespeare once, it was a, shall we say, magical experience.
I hope our love will have a better outcome than my previous, she got stuck in a parallel universe.
In any case, thank you very much for your email.

(Geeks unite! There are three Doctor Who references in the last email).

Anyway...
Will the Doctor find true love?
Will 'Vera' ever notice anything...odd?
Will the Weeping Angels make an appearance?
And most importantly, will 'Vera' care if William Hartnell makes an appearance?

Stay tuned! Twisted Evil

insults and more · Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:36 am

Nice!

I wonder if you can slip in various incarnations of the Doctor.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

The charming Vera has once again emailed!
Unaffected by the fate of his previous love, Vera replies to the Doctor.

Quote:

Hello darling,
How are you doing over there, I hope all is fine with you, My dear i thank you very much for your concern and care, I am very much happy for your world I am very very happy to have you, You are so kind and caring, Please dear i want you to do me one favor, I want to come over to your country to have a nice living over there, My dear please help me to come over there in other to have a good living, Over here is just like one in they prison, To eat is very very hard here, If not for they reverend father it would have been very very hard for me, I want you to understand and help me, So tell me if you will help me to come over to your country, Please i will like you to call me by 2.00pm my time so that i will hear from you today, You look very hansom in your picture's, (Matt Smith'll be happy ) You are the kind of man i need in life.

The Time Lord replies, doing his best to help the pitiful Vera.

Quote:

Hello Vera, I hope to meet you soon. I'd pick you up in my TARDIS if I could steer it properly. Unfortunately, I lost the manual a few hundred years ago when I threw it into a supernova.
I called you in a few minutes time, but the number you gave me did not connect. I'll try sonicking my phone again, but my screwdriver is still damaged from when it was eaten by a flying shark. However, next time I land on Earth, around this time, I'll call.
I'm glad you liked the picture. I wasn't too happy with my appearance (I've always wanted to be ginger), and I did look very different a couple of months ago. You can see that appearance attached. It made a few people unhappy when my look changed.
Thanks you again for the message.

Attached was David Tennant.
Of flying sharks, parallel universes and TARDISes. I can't believe any human would be stupid enough to fall for this, but then again this is Doctor Who. So maybe 'she's' not human...

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

I have lost my faith in humanity.
Our intrepid Time Lord received two emails in quick succession.

Quote:

How are you doing over there,
I hope all is fine with you, I am very much happy for every world you have just gave to me, I am very very happy to have you, You are so kind and caring, Please dear i want you to do me one favor, I will like you to help me with some money to buy something to eat, Over here is just like one in the prison, To eat is very very hard here, If not for the reverend father it would have been very very hard for me, I want you to understand and help me with anything you can provide for an orphan like me and i know that my God will not forget you, He will bless you in one million times.
I will be waiting to hear from you soon and take care of your self and your family, I will be waiting your urgent reply.

Quote:

I will like you to call me at his office with this number today by 2.00pm my time or any day by 2.00GMT (+222776779925) so that i can tell you more about myself. When you call tell him that you want to talk with me Vera and he will send for me at the females hostel

Above is not her phone number. Above is what I change it to every email. Just to be annoying.

Quote:

Hi Vera!
I keep calling that number, but it's not working. Is there an issue with the phones at your end?
Of course, it might be my end. I'm not sure; it can be a little struggle to get a signal in the 1st century AD.
Did you say you wanted money for something to eat? I hope I can help, how much?
Thanks for the other picture. In return, I thought I'd send another of my own, though it is quite an old one. i was just five hundred or so.

Attached was a picture of the delightful William Hartnell.
I'm honestly not sure how much more I want to go through with this. My faith in humanity is spiralling down...

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 3:06 am

Take heart. This is a particularly stupid piece of trash you're dealing with. It's a keeper trust me Wink

Though it's important to remember the rules of Doctor Who from the UK version of Queer as folk:

Paul MacGann doesn't count!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

...

Quote:

Good morning honey,
i am very very sorry that i have not been able to write to you for long now
How are you today,your job and your friends i hope all of them are alright? my love how are you enjoying the weekend i believe it is well with you in Jesus name.My love i want to thank you for your kind heart and your ability to help me it really prove to me that you love me and and not all men are the same,honey i cant wait to be with you because eat here is more than worst for me now,if not for the reverend,honey i will like you to help me with any thing from your heart at least to eat and take care of my self.Honey i will like you to call me with the reverends new number(+222776779925)when you call tell the reverend that you want to talk to Vera and he will send for me.Honey i want you to read Philippians 4:19 and PSALMS 89:26 TO 28 and i want you to know that i love you.Honey i wish to stop here hopping to here from you soon.I LOVE YOU.HAVE A BLESSED WEEKEND MAY GOD BE WITH YOU Your Love Vera.

...I am very disappointed in humanity.
Of course, being the kind Time Lord that I am, I still replied.

Quote:

Hello Vera.
Do not worry about taking your time between emails, I do it quite often. Besides, I'm pretty busy, just visited the starship Lucy Gray as it left Earth in the far future. I'm writing this from a Silurian ship; they're quite nice, once you get to know them, but no one ever believes me.
We're fine, don't worry. well, there was a little hassle where one friend died and spent two thousand years as a plastic Roman, but don't worry about that. I fixed time so it never happened.
By the way, you might want to pluralize 'heart': I've got two.
I keep trying to call the number, it doesn't get through. I'm going to circumvent the first law of time, borrow a working screwdriver, just to double check soon though, fix my phone properly.
Thanks for the Bible references, I'll check them out in a moment. You know I was there when they were written? There were protests when they found out Josh died, so the publishers forced a change so he got better. Believe me, I know how that feels. Well, I call him Josh, we were pretty close. He's generally known as Jesus. You might like Mark 17:29.
I'll try and call the Reverend again when I get a better sonic screwdriver, but are you certain the number is correct?
I hope to hear from you soon. Attached you can find a picture I had taken of me during the Millennium, a few people are unhappy about it, but I think you deserve to know the good and bad sides of me. Though number 7 would be a bit extreme, so we won't mention that one.

Have a great day!

Attached was...Paul McGann. Just to be irritating. Razz

After all, he was a good Doctor. The movie was awful, but the Doctor was good.
I have now decided, my aim is to become so bizarre she gives up. I honestly wonder if that's even possible...
Oh, and to help any curious people, Mark 17:29 does not exist. There are 16 chapters.

Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:20 pm

Rowenar wrote:

Attached was...Paul McGann. Just to be irritating. Razz

I just found out you can get into trouble in a public library for laughing too much. Nice one

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

And now the real bait begins.

Continuing from earlier message:

Quote:

How are you doing over there,
I hope all is fine with you, I am very much happy for every world you have just gave to me, I am very very happy to have you, You are so kind and caring, Please dear i want you to do me one favor, I will like you to help me with some money to buy something to eat, Over here is just like one in the prison, To eat is very very hard here, If not for the reverend father it would have been very very hard for me, I want you to understand and help me with anything you can provide for an orphan like me and i know that my God will not forget you, He will bless you in one million times.
I will be waiting to hear from you soon and take care of your self and your family, I will be waiting your urgent reply.

She has been sending me a separate line of emails, to get said money.
Of course, the Doctor isn't that handy with money, but if he can get a grand at the flick of a hat (source: The Lodger) then things shouldn't be too tough.
After asking how I was to send the money, I got this:

Quote:

My dear beloved one,
I am counting on you for this new bright lovely peaceful and glorious life,Please you can send the money to Rev Paul Michael so that he will help me to go and pick it up from western union as i cant go to bank for now due to my refugee statue.
Sender Name......................................Your Name
Receiver Name....................................Rev. Paul Michael
Country ............................................. Senegal
City .................................................. Dakar
Address............................................. 42 yorf line Dakar Senegal
Question...........................................
Answer...........................................
Mtcn/control number........................
Tell ............................................... +222776779925
My dear beloved one if you send the money call hem to go and pick it up
+222776779925

...she's got a refugee statue? WEEPING ANGEL!
Fellow baiters: don't blink.
Anyway, she missed one very important bit of information.

Quote:

How much money do you want? You did not inform me.

Not much, but I was tired. Anyway, now the Doctor's conversation is going a different route.

Quote:

if you can send me $200 US DOLLAR is OK for me my love to buy some underwear's and some other things like provisions etc, please my love try to understand me THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND CARE TO ME.I PROMISE TO KEEP MYSELF FOR YOU UNTIL WE MEET EACH OTHER FACE TO FACE.

Somehow, she had quite a luxurious room attached, with pretty fashionable clothes. So quite why she needs this money is beyond me.
Oh..and she's keeping herself. A little forward?
Well, I guess the age difference doesn't bother her. Actually, does it bother anyone? oh well. Taking votes now! Should Vera find herself in contact with an irate Amy Pond?
Nonetheless, our intrepid Time Lord continues, in an effort to become too bizarre, even for her.

Quote:

I've just returned from the Western Union on Callufrax Minor. They've introduced a little security due to abuse of their services by a few Daleks (Ones I met in World War 2). Apparently they've got two security options for a transfer, and they wish to know which would be most comfortable for you: a simple form to fill out, or a four-step online process. Both are free, they just keep things secure.
Sorry for any extra hassle. To try and make up for it, I sent you another picture, just to help you recognize me. I can look quite different a lot of the time.
Please let me know which method you prefer; online steps or form.

Anyway, thanks. I hope to help.

-Doctor.

This time, meet Tom Baker.
This bait is going to go one of two ways: secureptv, or fun forms! I wonder which...
Anyway, leave your votes! Should Amy Pond get in contact with the charming Vera?

Geronimo!!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Quote:

Its really nice reading from you today,
Good day to you and how are you today, I do hope you have gone into the brand new day well, On my side here, it is still well but i do believe it will be more better when you are on my side.
I hope it will come to pass within a short time, At most times i think how that day will be when i will be meeting you face to face for the first time, I know that will be a wonderful experience in my life,
Am very happy for your picture you send to me, You are very hansom man, Please i will like you to send the money to me by filling form in Western Union office and send to me the information's to receive the money here in Senegal, I will like you to use this informations to send the money.

Between flirting and complimenting Tom Baker (WU info cut from message), it appears she wants to use forms...
Well, I obliged. I'll attach scans if I get any. Maybe a form is going too far, when a Time Lord is not. Very Happy

Can the Doctor get Vera to answer a form? Will they ever meet? Will Amy get around to contacting Vera?
Stay tuned.
Dun-d-dun, dun-dum-dum, dum-dum-dum, d-ln-dun-dun.
Ooo-eee-ooo...

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:33 pm

Well at least you have a legitamate reason for not going to WU.. Laughing

Not many branches in Space !

Why not steer it towards getting a Bank Account ?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Vampiremerchant wrote:

Well at least you have a legitamate reason for not going to WU.. Laughing

Not many branches in Space !

Why not steer it towards getting a Bank Account ?

I feel like an idiot for forgetting that...
Well, if the forms are too tough, then that's the only way...
jump_4_joy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Looks like things might be heading in a bank account direction. But we might have a bit of fun with secureptv first...

Quote:

Hi dear.
How are you doing, hope everything is fine with you indeed, as for me I'm fine, only that you are really getting it up to me.
Actually, Rev Paul said that he will not feel any form, He said that he have send money through western union money transfer and received money too before, that nobody will ask the person that will receive money to fill form, He said that you have to go western union office over there and tell them that you want to send money to your friend and fill the form that they will give to you there with the informations i gave to you so that them will send the money and you will give me the MTCN / CONTROL NUMBER to receive the money here.
Please my dear if you cant send it by filling form then look if you will send it by online transfer, Hoping to hear from you soon,
Vera.

So, the charming Doctor gave the form one last go, with a quick mention, while seeing if she'd be willing to put in a 'little' effort with the online method.

Quote:

I think the form is a local thing; as I said, they had their services abused by Daleks recently. I can't fill in the form, as it must be done by the receiver, and it needs information I do not know about him, including signature.
If you can't manage that, then it'll have to be the online transfer: though again, that does need some input from your end. I think the office is trying to be sure the money doesn't end up wasted or anything, like if the Cybermen got it.

I'm heading out to the Western Union office now. I think there should be one somewhere in this area of space. Anyway, if you're happy about doing a little with the online method, let me know in a reply. Shouldn't be much.

Thanks, and apologies for any hassle.

In case you don't believe me, the form did in fact need data I didn't know about him. Including favourite colour, IQ, and whether he preferred Edward or Jacob.

Yes, I know I'm being polite. the Doctor's always kind Confused

oh, and I've found the lads are more likely to continue things if they think you're bumbling through rather than being malicious. And the Doctor is always bumbling through. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 6:08 pm

Quote:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND CARE TO ME.I PROMISE TO KEEP MYSELF FOR YOU UNTIL WE MEET EACH OTHER FACE TO FACE.

He´s not reading your stories,just trying out his luck by scripts.
Anyway this "person is definitely not a virgin.
Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Well, the delightful Vera has returned. Looks like a form is too hard, and so we must resort to...
Secureptv!

Quote:

How are you today,
I believe you are doing well, Thanks you for the mail, My prayer is for God to grant me my pursuance, Thank you for responding to my mails i send to you, Please i will like you to send the money online transfer method and send me the MTCN / CONTROL NUMBER to receive the money here, Hoping to hear from you soon,
Yours Vera.

Oh please, you're dealing with a Time Lord... It's never that easy.

Quote:

Glad to hear from you Vera! Thanks for the message, the money is sent.
The online method is some security thing Western Union created to deal with the Daleks. It's a safer way of sending MTCN: my local office doesn't use hard copies,they use the online method. The woman at the office walked me through it; you go to the site, enter details (You need to know the receiver name, the reverend 'Paul Michael', and the security code ------------------), then answer a couple of security questions before getting the number. It looked quite simple.
Site is at http://secureptv.com/
I've done what I can from this end, hopefully you or the reverend can do the rest. It shouldn't take long. I hope $200 is enough money to help.
Stay out of the shadows.

From the Doctor.

The thing I love is, once the bait started, she did actually skim through the emails: hence answering questions, hearing about Western Union... and she doesn't care about Daleks, Cybermen or Callufrax Minor.
I wonder if secureptv will go well. If at all. the lads I've met either don't answer, or keep on answering. In one case, right up to 200! I wonder what Vera will do.

Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 7:02 am

I see the TL somehow forgot to deliver the Access Code. I HATE it when that happens. Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

So, the delightful Vera continues with the transfer all the way from the Callufrax Minor. Hopefully she did indeed stay out of the shadows. A total of 40 minutes has been wastes. Her answers may be viewed below.

Quote:

Session starttime: 2011-02-11 08:49:34(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2011-02-11 09:07:27(GMT-7)
Answers: 15

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: No, I haven't use secure shield service before
Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: I haven't answered any yes
Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: I Haven't received any electronic transfers before
Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: Am receiving it for me needs
Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: No, is not related to any criminal activity
Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: No, the funds am receiving will not be use for any criminal activities
Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: No, I didn't have any criminal record and am not investigated for any crime
Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: I don't have any one connected to organized crime
Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: I don't have any one who is investigated for a crime
Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: I don't know anyone who has been convicted for a crime
Q: Have you ever been promoted?
A: I haven't be promoted
Q: During the past 30 days, on how many days did you have 5 or more drinks of alcohol in a row, that is, within a couple of hours?
A: I use to drink alcohol once in a month
Q: How long have you gone without having sex?
A: I haven't have sex for the first time
Q: Do you know someone who has been affected by a tsunami?
A: I don't know someone who has been affected by a tsunami
Q: Do I think you will be on a vacation this summer?
A: I don't use to have any vacation this summer

Quote:

Session starttime: 2011-02-11 09:09:34(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2011-02-11 09:11:15(GMT-7)
Answers: 11

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: I will tell you later
Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: On an average day, how many hours do you play video or computer games or use a computer for something that is not school work? (Include activities such as Nintendo, Game Boy, PlayStation, Xbox, computer games, and the Internet.)
A: I will tell you later

Quote:

Session starttime: 2011-02-11 09:19:33(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2011-02-11 09:37:10(GMT-7)
Answers: 49

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: [email protected]
Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: If you could have any car you wanted, which car would you choose?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Ever call a 1-900 number?
A: I will tell you later
Q: What are some things which many people are afraid of? Why are they afraid of them?
A: I will tell you later
Q: During the past 3 months, with how many people did you have sexual intercourse?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Have you put your life in danger before for your loved ones?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Wo you think girls deserve more respect just cause they are girls?
A: I will tell you later
Q: If you were in the bank and somebody started to hold up the bank, what would you do?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you miss anyone right now?
A: I will tell you later
Q: In which novel was the character Holden Caulfield?
A: I will tell you later
Q: What?s your favorite CD?
A: I will tell you later
Q: How many times have you been promoted?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Which job are you best at?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you think having large charity organizations is a good idea? Why or why not?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Is it poverty, upbringing, lack of education, unemployment or something else?
A: I will tell you later
Q: What should you not do during a job interview?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do I think you will be on a vacation this summer?
A: I will tell you later
Q: If something is annoying you, what do you usually do?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Last food that you ate?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Gotten drunk?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Can annoying someone be a good thing?
A: I will tell you later
Q: What are the secondary (short term) health effects of tsunami?
A: 2 of then is not back
Q: Why is dishonesty not good?
A: 2 of then is not back
Q: Who painted The Monarch of the Glen?
A: 2 of then is not back
Q: What name has been shared by the most popes?
A: 2 of then is not back
Q: What job(s) do you wish to have in the future?
A: 2 of then is not back
Q: Should you volunteer if your main reason is to benefit monetarily or materialistically?
A: 2 of then is not back
Q: Do you look at your life differently now than before you were diagnosed?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Which martial art uniform do you like best?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Have you ever come in contact with a ghost? (Have you ever seen a ghost?)
A: I will tell you later
Q: Where?s your favorite place to be?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Which martial art is best in your opinion? Why?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Can you please inform me on the theory of Emulsions?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Did you have a nickname? How?d you get it?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Name three types of planes that would be able to bring down large buildings:
A: I will tell you later
Q: Would you like a job that required you to sit at a computer all day?
A: I will tell you later
Q: What is the best thing about the Internet?
A: I will tell you later
Q: When did you first fall in love?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Why is a tsunami so dangerous?
A: I will tell you later
Q: During the past 30 days, how many times did you drive a car or other vehicle when you had been drinking alcohol?
A: I will tell you later

Quote:

Session starttime: 2011-02-11 09:47:58(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2011-02-11 09:51:52(GMT-7)
Answers: 15

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: I will tell you later
Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Where were you last week at this time?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Where would you like to work? Why?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Stayed home on Saturday night, just because?
A: I will tell you later
Q: Have you ever been the victim of a crime?
A: I will tell you later
Q: If only one book existed, which book would you like it to be?
A: I will tell you later

It looks like she may indeed be aware of Doctor Who! Think: Comic relief sketch, 'Curse Of Fatal Death'. WE WILL EXPLAIN LATER...

Quote:

Dearest one,
I am so much worried, I have try to fill the form, but it keep on telling me to restart again and i have done that more then 12 times but i didn't see any receiver informations there.

She lies! She's only done it four times...

Quote:

At the end of filling the form, see what the web site write to me,
Confirm Form Resubmission

This web page requires data that you entered earlier in order to be properly displayed. You can send this data again, but by doing so you will repeat any action this page previously performed. Press Reload to resend that data and display this page

Well, well. What can have possibly gone wrong? Well, she hasn't volunteered a bank account just yet, so it all depends. How much more time will the intrepid Vera waste?

Quote:

Thanks for the message, I'm not sure what went wrong. I'll ask down at the Western Union office once I get back to that planet, but first thing: did you type the same thing a lot of times? They said that the server wouldn't accept that: something to do with a creature from Midnight, it keeps repeating things. If you did, try it again without repeating. Other than that, I'm out of ideas. i lost my brainy specs. Sorry for the inconvenience.

from The Doctor.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Once more, Vera has responded. Sadly she appears a little unwilling to try Secureptv again.I wonder why... Evil or Very Mad

Quote:

How is your weekend over there,I know it was nice over there.
I appreciated every step you are taking in finding a solution to my problems, God will bless and reward you, I will like you to tell me how you will spend your Valentine day as mine is boring here in the camp,like you know we are not allowed to go out it looks like one in the prison
please get back to me so that i can know exactly the way yours will be over there as am thinking about you the whole of the Val, I don't know how to thank you but i so much believe that God will bless you.
Please i will like to know how far you and the western Union people talk about the money you send to me, I didn't type the same things a lot of times, I fill all the form fine, but didn't receive any information's to receive the money.
Yours Vera

Well, I'll see what I can do.

Quote:

It's Valentine's Day? Wow, sorry I'm stuck in December, on a different planet too so dates are different.I would've wished you a happy one otherwise.
I'm going to the Western Union office again in about an hour; I had to make an appointment, apparently a few people have been having the same trouble. I don't suppose you've got any other methods of transfer? If not, let me know, I'll see what Western Union can do.

From the Doctor
(Not Robert Picardo).

Bank or time wasting. Could go either way.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Vera has once again spoke to the lovely Time Lord. Her second favourite service appears to be Moneygram. What a surprise...
Random fact about Moneygram: I once got another scammer to fill in a form with Moneygram's logo on. They were asking for a Western Union transfer.

Quote:

I am very happy to hear from you and i want to thank you for accepting to do your best for me, i felt warm in my heart whenever i read from you, though, i have not seen you but i am happy that you are there to make me happy and i know that i will be with you soon, My dear the Val is not good in my side due to you are not by my side.
Rev Paul Michael said that if the Western Union people don't have solution to the problem that you should go and send the money through( MoneyGram )
Have a nice day as am waiting for you soon
Yours Vera.

Aww...how touching...
puke

Ahem. Well, it sounds like she has indigestion. What's a Val and why is it in her side? Sadly, the Doctor is not a medical Doctor, so that help will have to be forgone.

Quote:

My hearts feel warm thinking of you too.
I've been to Western Union, and they said they've fixed the problem. Something about reversing the polarity of the neutron flow. Anyway, they suggested trying it again; the details are the same as before, except for the access code.
The new one is: --------------------------------
apparently the system works better if you input responses of greater than twenty characters.

I hope this can help. I hope to see you soon.
Don't blink.

My inner nerd is celebrating.
In any case...what's to come?
If I don't get a bank account, I'm setting Amy Pond on her.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

First, a couple of quick, boring messages:

Quote:

I have fill the form but i didn't receive any information's to receive the money here.

To which our ever-helpful Time Lord replied:

Quote:

Huh? What happened this time?
I'll go to Moneygram shortly, but I want to write a letter of complaint to the Western Union Office. Please can you give me the details of what happened? Thanks.

(Please read this in the voice of a heavenly host).

Information: the secureptv was told to put up a message after a couple of questions, stating her details matched those of a fraudster.

Quote:

I don't even understand what is going on,
After i finished filling the form they said that my informations match fraudsters, Please what is fraudsters

...so she doesn't even know what she is. Oh well.
In any case, a brief interlude. Vera was pulverizing my faith in humanity, so I decided to bypass Amy and try something even better.

Quote:

Dear Mr Paul Michael

I am Mr Davros. I am the Skaro representative with Western Union. Your details match those of known fraudsters. Will you please give an explanation as soon as possible. You have 24 hours and if I do not receive a satisfactory answer within that time period, you will be exterminated.

Yours sincerely,
Davros.

SHE REPLIED.
How stupid can you get...do I have to send a flipping picture or something?! You know what, if she asks for Work ID, she's getting Davros. Watermarked naturally.
Well, evidently Ms Vera does not wish to be exterminated.

Quote:

Please i don't understand what you mean by ( fraudsters )

Well buy a dictionary...
Anyway, Davros was kind and supplied a definition. Now to wait...

A few minutes later, so as not to arouse suspicion, the Doctor wrote a message to the delightful Vera.

Quote:

I'm not sure what that means; I'm not a native English speaker, I speak Galifreyan, My translators generally fix stuff, but I'm not sure on that word. Not enough tea I guess. Anyway, sorry; you should probably look it up, I will when I get a chance: just a little busy at the moment, Weeping Angel issues.Sorry.

And another apology I think: Moneygram is also using high amounts of security; they also want a form filled in.Unless your reverend changes his mind,or there's another way, I'm not sure what we can do.

EXTERMINATE! :yikes:

Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 7:01 am

What a fun read!!!

Happiness is a frustrated lad.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

It would appear Vera is not happy with Davros.

Quote:

You don't know what you are talking about, People like you cant help someone who is in need, You don't know English, If you know English you will know the meaning of (steal) and ( Help ) Someone want to help me and you are telling me name that i haven't hard before since i was bone.
Actually, this your mail makes me mad, Please please please, for sure l have respect for every body but what l don't accept from anybody is insult especially theft, cheating or lying,

Please don't write to me again i don't even now who your are.

Well...he obviously can't help someone in need. He's possibly dead, and a psychopath, but all that aside...
I'll curtail my rant. This is meant to be more light-hearted, but it makes me really angry when the lads try to pin the blame on us, call us unsympathetic/unhelpful.
Anyway, Davros does not accept this.

Quote:

I am Davros: I work with Western Union. You have input your details into our service, and they matched with those of one committing fraud. This is not an insult: this is a fact. I simply want you to explain why this is taking place. Your response so far says that you are guilty. If you do not explain, then you will be permanently banned from utilizing our services.
I am from Skaro, but I do speak English. Evidently, you do not else you would be of more help. You don't know simple words such as 'fraud'. Our request for information is simple enough. Why do your details match those of a known fraudster?
You may not simply choose to leave correspondence. You are a suspected criminal.
Once again, I demand you answer. Why are your details those of a known fraudster? Explain.
You have 24 hours to respond, or you will be exterminated. My Daleks are on their way.

Yours,
Davros.

(Play dramatic Doctor Who music now. The Daleks are coming!).

On a more subdued note, Vera has a cunning plan for the Doctor.

Quote:

Hello dearest One,
Am very happy to read your mail, You are always in my heart,i found happiness in you,this is why i always thinking about you,asking when we will come together,I thank God for what he have started doing,I pray that the God thing he have started doing in our life will come to accomplishment.
Please i will like you to go and check if you can send it through post by DHL, Then you buy anything like gift or book and put the money inside the items and post it to me, So check if is possible for you so that i will send you the information's to receive it here, Hoping to hear from you soon,
Yours Vera.

The Doctor is always glad to help.
But I really must ask...what is a 'God Thing'?

Quote:

I should be able to manage that, yes.The money should be with some jelly babies.
Where should I send it?

That's all for now!

To Be Continued...

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 23 May 2008 Posts: 15

Rowenar wrote:

But I really must ask...what is a 'God Thing'?

She's clearly referring to you, of course.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Sadly, Vera has not yet emailed Davros. A pity, maybe she's not quite that much of an idiot.
In any case, Vera continues to speak to the Doctor. So she's still a pretty big idiot.

Quote:

How are you today,
I believe you are doing well, there was power failure in the capital city of Dakar since, That is why i have not write to you since, My dear i will like you to send it with this Assistant
Pastor informations,
-------------------------.

Naturally, the Time Lord is helping. Vera must be getting her hopes up.

Quote:

I'm sorry to hear about the power failure. I've heard Rutans can cause that, it sounds like it must have been a real pain.
I've given the package to DHL. It's a box of jelly babies, the money's with them, I don't know if you like them, I just have plenty spare from seven lives ago. They're a bit busy right now, but they said they'll send me the tracking number once they send it off.

Trailer: the Doctor seems to have almost succeeded, when disaster strikes! Davros intervenes...

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Quote:

Dear Doctor

We have spoken before. While we rarely agree, this time I must warn you.
My name is Davros, as well you know. I am the Skaro representative with Western Union at present, and the founder of the Dalek force. I have blocked your DHL package and sent it back to you.
This may be hard for you to believe, but I am trying to help you. The woman you are in contact with, Ms Vera, as well as Mr Paul Michael have details matching those of known fraudsters and scammers. While I am unable to stop every attempt you may make to send money to this woman, you no doubt know of the ruthless efficiency of the Dalek force. We will not falter.
While I am crippled by my exposure to radiation, I still have a great reach through the world. And I implore you Doctor, do not send any more money to Ms Vera. Cease all contact with her right now, or you will be exterminated. She is lying to you.
This is my ultimate victory, Doctor. The destruction of reality itself.

Yours,
Davros.

I've been trying to see how far I can take this. I sent this from one account, to the Doctor, and then forwarded it to Vera (attachment included as well as watermarked so she's be unable to use it), with a small note:

Quote:

...Vera, can you help? I just received this email.
He's an old friend, well, enemy: we met when he was creating the Daleks. Never got on.
Do you know why he's saying these things about you? I don't understand this...Is it true?

Vera is unwilling to directly email Davros (I'm planning an evaphone call later), so I thought I'd see if I could prompt a discussion with the creator of the Daleks. Who'd be stupid enough to fall for this?
Rolling Eyes

Apparently, Vera.

Quote:

Hi dear.
How are you doing, hope everything is fine with you indeed, as for me I'm fine, only that the man that said that he's working for western union are really getting it up to me.
He said that he work for western union, But his email address didn't signify that he work for them, He said that he stop the DHL package you send to me, He don't have any right to do that, and who told him that you going to send something to me, He said that my details match fraudsters and scammers so what you have to do is to forget about me ok, He said that you should not send any more money to Ms Vera, Have you ever send any money to me before apart from this money you want to send to me now, He said that am lying to you, please my dear, If possible for you please come over here in dakar, l will appreciate it with high respect.
Actually, for sure l have respect for every body but what l don't accept from anybody is insulting me, I use to reply the man mail before but i got to know that he is not but a fool, l have tried to overcome his insult, since he started using such unnown words to me.
How can l dear to lie or cheat someone whom my heart cherishes and die for, l will suggest if you can come down here in Senegal so that trust will remain and you will come to know that there is nothing like cheat and deceiving in this matter my dear, of cause there is a lot of shit happening around today, we all need to be careful nowadays at the same time we all need each other to deal with but all should based on trust and confidence in that regards which l am so much thankful you had before and now, please my dear. If possible for you please come over to Senegal, l will appreciate it with high respect.
Thanks.

Aww...such devotion.
I was half expecting this to end the bait, but no. It would seem that she's a complete idiot: and is now trying to get the Doctor to visit her.
Oh, and she's started swearing... sigh...
(She's also lying. She replied once to Davros).
Don't annoy a Dalek...

...
I really don't know what to say.
Well, a quick, dull message from the Doctor.

Quote:

I can't believe this... Just been to DHL, he has actually stopped the shipment.
I don't think he works directly for Western Union; he said he was just a representative. I met him before a couple of times, a bit of a megalomaniac, he's got quite a bit of power.
I'm trying to send the jelly babies and money off from DHL online, not sure how that'll work out though.
I wouldn't mind meeting you in person at all.

And we're off! The grand showdown between the Doctor and Davros.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Dec 2010 Posts: 59

Vera seems somehow surprised that the creator of the Daleks is heartless. Nonetheless, we continue:

Quote:

Hello dearest,
Am very happy to read your mail now, and i have carefully read it, My dear lets just be a friend ok, Don't help me again by sending anything to me, and help me to tell the man that one day he will need help like me and he will look up and down and see no help from anybody due to what he did to an orphan like me.
What you will do for me is just try your possible best and make away to come over and visit me here so that we will see face to face, some times i always think is better i join my parent in the grave, better than as i am alive facing all this problems and hard life. My dear you have really try all you can,
Have a nice day and remain blessed.
Yours Vera.

Aww

how sweet.
Would it be insensitive of me to ask her to join her parents?
Twisted Evil

...anyway... a bit of a boring response.

Quote:

Thank you for the message. Please, don't wish death upon yourself. I've tried it about ten times so far, I keep getting better.
I'm looking forward to meeting you. Please can you give me a few details: where should I go specifically? What dates are best for you? Which century? Things like that.

from the Doctor.

It seems the grand showdown between the Doctor and Davros will have to wait. For now...