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 New "Goofy crap your pets wrote" thread.

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Roycropper
Undead Moderator


Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7993
Location: Luxury Coffin


PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From a Dubai Ladette, who I'm hoping to get to meet me at Dubai Airport, 0310 hours

Quote:
VERY URGENT YOU HAVE TO START YOUR PREPARATION OF COMING DOWN TO U.A.E(DUBAI) WITH ALL ARRANGEMENT'S, YOUR PRESENCE IS NEEDED AS YOUR NAME HAVE BEEN DECLARE ON THE FUNDS AS THE BEATIFICALLY WHICH YOUR SIGNATORY IS NEEDED.
IT WILL ONLY TAKE YOU 30 MINS ON YOUR ARRIVAL TO PICK UP THE FUNDS WHICH AFTER THE PICK UP THE FUNDS YOU WILL LODGE THE FUNDS TO YOUR AFFILIATE BANK IN DUBAI FOR ONWARD TO YOUR BANK IN YOUR COUNTRY WHILE BOTH OF US PROCEED BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY.
PLEASE START PREPARING YOUR FLYING DOWN IMIEADATELY.

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
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Jim Morrison
Elite Baiter


Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Posts: 1848
Location: Taking a face from the ancient gallery


PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 7:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I received your mail and I thank you for your urgent responds as well as your interest to champion this transaction with me. When I got your mail I was very excited. Actually I got your email contact in a network search I made for a sure contact to champion this project with me. As you can see you are not contacted by mistake.


I don't even know what he's trying to say

_________________
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have i offended you before on why you do this to me?
God go hammer all your generation. say
amen. - reverend
are you joking or your tormentor? (I am tormentor Twisted Evil )
Gommer basterd your mama is a prostitute, am a full niger delta boy and i must bomb your mamas toto with ak47 riffle...
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Morgain Le Fay
Baiting Guru


Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Posts: 5800
Location: Taking my new .38 special to the range


PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 9:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

There are several definitions of "champion". What he is saying makes sense to me. He wants an advocate, a fighter for this transaction.

I just got the following as a subject line from a lad I have never heretofore heard of, but he got my name:
Quote:

You are a fool!!Mr Dr james EXXXXX


"Mr. Dr."??? Laughing

_________________
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 6:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
HELLO SIR,
This is diplomat akwete kwame united nation delivery diplomat Ghana i am the diplomat that was assign by general yusuf grillo for the delivery of your two truck of consignments boxes to you i am not suppose to write to u until when i arrive your country airport but general yusuf grillo inform me to contact u that is the reason why i decided to write to u sir i want you to know that the reason why i am still in kotoka international airport Ghana with these boxes it is because of the dispatch certificate that the Ghana custom are demanding for there is no way that i can be able to exist frm the airport with these boxes without obtaining these certificate frm the Ghana custom officer because it is the certificate that will enable me to exist frm the airport to meet with you sir i want you to know that all what general yusuf grillo is tell you about is the fact because the private commercial jet that is about to take me to ur country airport is ready for delivery and the charges has been paid by general yusuf grillo all what the Ghana custom authority officers are demanding for now is the certificate i am assuring u that as soon as this certificate is been obtain i am going to meet with u with these boxes so sir i want you to pls hasting up in obtain it so that i can be able to make delivery to you as soon as possible thanks and remain bless from your

One long unfinished sentence, with no punctuation. Mr Gomer ran him out of breath. Nothing back since. I may have to resuscitate! Laughing

_________________
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15094
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 8:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^Same guy:

Quote:
Sir i want to let u know that u are the person that told me to tell g0mer to contact u so that he can be able to show the prove of the certificate that where given to him when my diplomat make delivery to him that is the reason why i decided to tell him to contact u for u to know he has receive is two truck of consignment and as for the danger g0mer send me an email and he told me that he is afraid of sending u the certificate so that so that he cannot feel into trouble that is the reason why he told u of danger sir i want to know if u are still ready tio receive these boxes so that u can be able to send the (850 dollars)across so that i can be able to obtain the dispatch certificate frm the office of the Ghana port authority so that m diplomat can be able to make delivery to u successfully without no interruption of any security officers thanks for reading Mr Brad1ey i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 1:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ha. Laughing The lad's three characters going in circles have Yastreb and I almost breathless ourselves, with his utter stupidity. Smile

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
Safari x10 Sand Timer X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, [email protected], Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15094
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Interesting wrinkle on the festive season (emphasis added)...

Quote:
both of you have to make sure that you get your visas within this period of charismas

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Bart Fargo
Corporate Baiter


Joined: 22 May 2010
Posts: 1605
Location: Free munchies for the cantaloupe masters


PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From a widowed nun, Sister Rebecca

Quote:
Presently this money is still with the bank and I'm ill from cancer of the lug despite the fibroid and tumor which denied me a child as a result I may not last till the next Two Months according to my doctor report.


I have no idea where the lug is located in the body!! Mad

_________________
What the hell happened to all my little icons I earned and my quotes???
Mc Fry <===the hardest icon to earn
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crotcheecher
Agent 003-1/2


Joined: 26 Jul 2009
Posts: 421
Location: Skullcrusher Mountain


PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Silly. the lug is located in the thorax, right next to the axle and above the catalytic converter!

_________________
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BookReader
Master Baiter


Joined: 17 Mar 2011
Posts: 198


PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A hitlad sent me this:
Quote:
I WILL SPARE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT YOU ARE TRULY
INNOCENT AND TRANSPARENT


Hitmen just keep getting smarter, now they can see invisible people!

_________________
Closed lad accounts x4

"I can see you are an illetrate, can you tell your mother to fill the form for you?"

"we really need to be talking on phone 24/7 to get this done"

"Please stop speaking like someone who is not matured here."

"am from Bristol London a professional Haired Killer."

"We are in similar age and we need to buy an holiday home once business go smooth."

"I WILL SPARE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT YOU ARE TRULY
INNOCENT AND TRANSPARENT"
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piecrust
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Dec 2010
Posts: 1606
Location: Alright! Who stole my avatar?


PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Crustaceans with a good CV. need apply:

Agro Seafood, Inc.....The Company has the following vacancy:
Quote:
A) Fish Packing (b) Fish Cutting (c) Company Security (d) Office Cleaner
(e) Laborers (f) Lobsters (g) Drivers (h) Cook.Store manager (i) Sales
Executive (j)Store Keeper (k)Branch Manager.

_________________
Closed lad accounts*207 *193
ThailandGhanaUnited KingdomTogoNigeriaIsle Of ManIvory CoastIndonesiaHong KongSpainUnited StatesSenegalSwedenIreland * 47
Mortar
You would look good in Gold
Never use windows auto-fill again, use something much more secure like lastpass for free.

"I am a man of hing reputation." - Loan lad Billy Hord.
"don't even think of given me that crap that you are Deaf and dump or my line is cut off , i don't have a phone please don't.." - Loan lad Billy Hord. (Having been baited to hell)
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Branwen
Baiting Guru


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 4771
Location: Down on the (Playmobil) farm


PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^ I love it. One of my characters once applied for a job as a 'Cook Stew', and kept going on (and on) about all the types of stew she could cook. Applying as a Lobster sounds even more fun.

_________________
Purple Flower Mc Fry Sand Timer x14

It is your first time to use western union so therefore none can blame you. It is always like this at the first experience. - Yes lad, and at the second, and the third... you'll see.

I don't want to guess the number - But, lad, isn't that the best fun to be had with MoneyGram reference numbers?
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vonpaso xlura
Different and Distinctive


Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Posts: 12246
Location: Bertcad, Lojbanistan


PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^Could you point me to the script? Rоd and Annеtte would be interested.

^^^^^The brainium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. She should eat some lug nuts; they're good for the health of the lugs.

_________________
Easter Egg 2012 United Kingdom×12 United States×3 Russia×3 CanadaNigeriaGermanyMalaysiaNetherlandsAustraliaTogo
United KingdomUnited KingdomCanada unwashed
Closed lad accounts×75
×110
Safari Accra - SH Cotonou
This is very frustrating ... their said they is know transaction ... I feel very ebasared right now ... I feel very dissapoited again
YOU CAN'T EVEN KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT SCAM STORIES STRAIGHT!! YOU AREN'T EVEN A SMART CRIMINAL!! YOU ARE GOING TO PRISON!!
E NO GO BETTER FOR YOUR MAMA NAA ME U DEY WYNE ABI GOD PUNISHED YOU AND YOUR GENERATION
you are a fake people so do not ever write to me again.
Am mad at you right now ... Am tired of your questions ... Am sick and tire you and your bank
Nigerian pig . go swallow a grenade idiot. Boko Haram will solve your problem idiot .
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BearSeason
Elite Baiter


Joined: 19 Jun 2011
Posts: 1066


PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Could this be the result of some de-education? You should tell him that the best seafood companies hire blue crabs to oversee their lobster personnel.

_________________
THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE DONE WITH ALL THIS YOUR CHILD'S PLAY...PLEASE IT IS ENOUGH. - Jeff
i can believe that all this will be happened to me why me why me / all my future had scatted - Rechel
you are a man that did not go to the four wall of any school at all. - Attorney Sarah Nan
U 2 go fuck yourself ! I don't need the money and stop emailing me please / BASTARD!!!! / fuck ur family
<a href="/forum/donate.php">Where all the cool kids are.</a>
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sunshine
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From my pain in the arse lad Segar Tom, now making a complete horlicks of pretending to be Homeland Security:

Quote:
also the Ministry of finance continue to contact the interligency as instructed by anthony general to renew all file for this first quater


Rolling Eyes

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Safari Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
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Corona
Baiting Guru


Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8651
Location: On ya left!


PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
YOUR FRIEND WANTED TO KILL YOU BY ALL MEANS .

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this if you don't comply urgently, I, was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it ANY MOMENT FROM NOW .


Ouch! Laughing

_________________
Pretty Rose Pretty Rose Pretty Rose pony pony pony Nurse Nastys Audi TT Nurse Nastys Audi TT Nurse Nastys Audi TT GoatGoatGoatEaster EggEaster 2015Mc Fry Mc Fry
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sunshine
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Orphan lad hasn't quite got the hang of this scamming lark:

Quote:

Hello Dear,
My name is James Oyarsi and I am 23 years old girl.

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Safari Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
Safari Bola - Accra - Cotonou Safari Alex - Accra - Abidjan Safari Austin - Accra - Abidjan
Safari George - Accra - Cotonou - Lome - Niamtougou Safari Toks London - Milford Haven
pony pony pony Mortar Closed lad accounts x170 Czech Republic Easter Egg 2011 Sand Timer Engineer Cooke vs. Temeraire x8
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Bart Fargo
Corporate Baiter


Joined: 22 May 2010
Posts: 1605
Location: Free munchies for the cantaloupe masters


PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 2:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This is from the President of Benin:

Quote:
Good day, before I commence I will like to indicate my gratitude well know to you, it might sound you ridicules, this message is from the department of government of Benin Republic West African, why I took the obligation to write you is that I as the president of the nation are having a great problem with the united nation and Korean embassy here in my country all because of you.


HUH?? What do I have to do with the Korean Embassy??

Quote:
Waiting to hear from you toward these imperative thanks.


Uh, how imperative are they??
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Asena
Elite Baiter


Joined: 26 Jan 2010
Posts: 1352
Location: Turn Left at Orion


PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

When is a Loan Lad not a Loan Lad?

Quote:
Hello,

this is the F B I we are here to let you know that there is scam every where so i want you to nkow the names and the email of the hole legit loanlenders so i want you to contact any of them so that you wiil get a legit loan so bellow is their emails and names okay..


Ooops! Apparently, I've been baiting a hole legit loanlender Laughing

_________________
Asena

Goat Golden Goat Closed lad accounts x 40 Easter Egg 2011 x 249
Cellphone x 2
Cellphone webstore x 1

Click here to JITSAMA - acronym invented by Tsnerd
Flying Monkey
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A Skinner
Texas Lad-Saw Massacre


Joined: 16 Nov 2003
Posts: 3684
Location: Texas, USA


PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

BE CAREFUL OF THE HUDLOOM

_________________
Safari Safari Safari Mortar x 25
Closed lad accounts X ? Nurse Nastys Audi TT x3 Purple Flower
Sand Timer x2 Easter Egg 2012 Nigeria Benin United Kingdom Ghana
SINCE YOU MADE ME TO GIVE MY CAR AWAY AND ALL THE DISAPOINTMENTS YOU GAVE TO ME,WHICH MADE ME TO STOP CONTACTING YOU. PLEASE DO NOT INVOLVE ME WITH ANYTHING YOU ARE DOING WITH ANYBODY, PLEASE DONT INVOLVE ME.I DONT WANT ANYTHING THAT WILL JEOPARDIZE MY IMAGE IN THIS COUNTRY.I AM A HUMANITARIAN LAWYER.

infact am getting tired with all this speculation in this transaction, honestly if i had known that this is the kind of person you are i would not have contacted for an assistance

Urgent??? Impotent massage

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15094
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 11:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Weird name time...

Quote:
Note that we do not send Transfer documents over the email. or if you want our bank barrister to sign for you ONLY BY PHONE you have to inform us immediate.that will cost u the sum of 3500 US DOLLAR send to HAPPY ZOT by western union or money gram

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Roycropper
Undead Moderator


Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7993
Location: Luxury Coffin


PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

From Sanusi Lamido:

Quote:
In most cases some clients claim to be while the funds belong to some one else as the head of the bank we are aware of all these shabbles but with understanding we can advise if the client is ready to enter in to deal with me.

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15094
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

After being chided for calling Mal "SIR" rather than using his name, the Lad wrote (emphasis added):

Quote:
really i dont understand what you mean by you have a name and i should use it, that will not solve anything you know, you know why i contacted your person not your name, your name is your name and not a human, your name can not speak either could your name send emails to the security company or make calls

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Bart Fargo
Corporate Baiter


Joined: 22 May 2010
Posts: 1605
Location: Free munchies for the cantaloupe masters


PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Got some new form of math here:

Quote:

My Greetings!

The sum of US$65.5million in "cash" was concealed in an Eight (4) Trunk Boxes and
was deposited with a Private Security Company based in Ghana by a Top Serving
Government Official/2012 Presidential Aspirant (Name Withheld).
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15094
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A refugee Lad is insisting that he has a diplomat with his money in Australia (emphasis added):

Quote:
Honestly i am sying the gosple fart my two consignment boxes his with him there in Australia.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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