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Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

How does one get into a torch? Wink

Quote:

I have not here from you, please what is going on and i try your number you are not picking my call so please get in torch with me on e-mail

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

A rather rotund one from Ghana, out of nowhere wants me to add him. This was his opener in Skype

Quote:

[2/14/2013 3:18:25 PM] Siren Derrick: Hello
[2/14/2013 3:18:31 PM] Siren Derrick: Thanks for accepting my request
[2/14/2013 3:18:41 PM] Siren Derrick: You are damn fat .....xoxoxo

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

^^^^
I hope he hasn't quit his day job with a script like that. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I have chatted with him a bit and encouraged him to speak like that.

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:11 pm

This is kinda like a Vlad version of the old 7UP slogan 'You Like It It Likes You':

Quote:

I send you the photos I hope they to you will like

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:32 pm

Quote:

As a matter of urgency, You are requested to provide the following informations to furge ahead with this transaction

*Edit to add*

Quote:

the said payment is been arranged in a Security-proof box weighing 55kg padded with synthetic nylon

This is from one format. Bait on.

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

next victim wrote:

I have chatted with him a bit and encouraged him to speak like that.

First class de-education.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I never sent this lazy booger anything.

Quote:

hi mistress,infact i know you have won miss world with the pic you sent me?????

lovely,i know you are doing well at your place,am also doing good at my place.please i don't want to talk much in my mail.due to the wonderful creature that god gave you,please if you won't mind let's have some chat online

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 5:13 pm

This mornings chit chat from my lad...

Aljerko wrote:

Quote:

Actually I drive an Alfa Romeo 159 with options of a 1.8 liter 140 hp and a 2.0 liter 200 hp turbocharged petrol and diesels to the tune of a JTDM with 120, 170, and 200 hp. Its of beige colour and elegant chrome(I prefer chrome...) treatment with Leather interior with a cruise control, electrically folding door mirrors, front seats and fog lamps overhead. It is finished off with a system media player and speakerphone Blue & Me and radio controls on the steering wheel. All of this sits on a set of alloy wheels 17 "with a brushed titanium treatment. I am so much in love with this brand, it suites my personality and I love speed vehicles.

buy my total that would be 830hp in an alpha... wow that is a speed vehicle!!!
he has questionable taste though. why take aluminum wheels and (brush?) paint them titanium colored? Unless it's been somehow plated in titanium and then got a brush finish???? who knows what rims look like in lad land!!!

I wonder how much he paid for all these options???

{edited to add:

What do I expect from a guy inviting my de-education on quantum mechanics! (contained in same email)

Aljerko also said:

Quote:

Your dad must be very proud of you and you in turn is, but you always have to pray for the repose of his soul because i know God will give him rest...He must have sent the postcard to you but due to its not in a physical realm, you may seem not to get/receive it in a form you expected...Wow...you are into physics and quantum mechanism for that matter...I don't really know much about that, may be you could throw more light to it for me,my friend?

}

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 10:06 pm

What do you mean the money isn't there yet???

Quote:

Hi B
I am not happy how you treated me by lying to me is this right way to show love ?
it is over 2weeks plus you wrote me said you have sent money to Lawyer Jose Torres
to make the papers for my fund realise and transfer ,
you refuse to send proof of payment as you said u sent money ,all this while you back me off , and shows you dont want help me after duely know all the requirement bank Spain
requested , Why did u give me more hopeless mind and sorrows ,
I quitely know your former ex wife returned and you started new relationship , but will this make you fail to be honest and help me get my freedom and from assylum in uk
You didn't send any money is why you didnt send transfer slip to Lawyer , yes i know since
your old wife returned you cant marry me again as you plan ,but help me as your girl friend
this fund will give you 100% change and me too as we can do partnership .for honesty and transparency as you help me get my transfer and send me money in uk to get my air ticket
as i come you need introduce me to your wife as your friend and business counter part ,
I can still find another man for marriage after i come USA Michigan ,
thanks and God bless you as you make give total attention to help me get my fund transfer form Bank Spain
Miss Juliet

ETA:

Quote:

Mr. Jerome,

How are you and the health of your Father? Please i will not like more delaying in your process again and will not like to be repeating my self often and on.We are too old to be young and a stitch in time saves nine they said.

Immediately you are back to base and as you are finishing reading this mail try to send to me the scan copy of the payment slip you made, because without this slip the money can not be withdrawn okay, i have to act fast this week to make sure your documents are ready and i need this money to pay in some places, so that we can get to the next level, this slip is now delaying me. that was why i told you at the first time, once you make any payment send the payment slip immediately.

I am waiting to read from you please today, so that i can know the next line of action to follow, remember that the person the cash this money is waiting for the slip as well.

Thanks for your comprehension.

Yours Always
Barr. George .W

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

I always get the wordsmiths Laughing

Quote:

I wish to inform you now that the square peg is now in square whole and can be voguish for that your payment is being processed

Quote:

However, I am having some minor problems with our payment system, which is Inexplicable, and have held me stranded and Indolent, not having the Aspiration to devote my 100% Assiduity in accrediting foreign contract payments.

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:31 pm

^^^I think he'd like a Volkswagen Quantum.

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:38 pm

Obviously I misjudged Bobby/Jenny. I should have sent the money months ago:

Quote:

Candy ... i understand that ., but what you need to do is trust me
i swear this is gonna be your most joyous moment .. i have a lot of things arranged for the betterment of us both
Just trust me Candy ... There's not gonna be any fault

What could possibly go wrong?

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 12:39 am

Some more good Siggy lines from Barr George:

Quote:

Mr. Jerome,

I am very very surprised at your attitude, i have not been humiliated like this in my 22 yrs of experience in this service before.

Do you really know the sum of money involved that is to be transferred to your account, do you really know what this girl Aishatu in the refugee camp is passing through because she has no one to help her, do you know what mess you have put me into with my colleague? i stopped him from a journey he was about to embark,and to my greatest surprise that you did not make any payment to the provided account you asked me of.

I have not asked you to pay me the fee of this job that i am do do for you till the money gets to your country, rather asked you to pay for registration and money to get the documents, you are the 11th American man i have worked with and the first to give me a mess and a scandal in my carrier, it is very bad of you and the money not to talk about the poor girl you called you partner suffering there.

If you know you did not send any money or you are not interested in the transfer or i working for you please and please you better let me know and also the young girl and not to put her hope on you. I went to see her today to tell her that you have not send any money to do the work up till now and she was crying all the day long till i left there.i have to fuel my car and other things and i am doing them with my money still.

Why are you playing games on me? simple to send the copy of the slip you could not, call me on phone to talk with you , you can not then when i call on you, it's either voice vocal or the number will not go still you can't call me back to talk with me.

If you have not sent the fee or you do not want to do the work with me any more better let me know on time and also the girl. i am too old to be young and i have lots of things doing.

Thank you
G W

I guess I'd better Humiliate him some more by honoring him with a bank transfer slip. LOL.

ETA:
My reply:

Quote:

Dear Sir,
What do you mean you haven't received the money yet? I sent it a week ago. I'm attaching a copy of the transfer slip as proof. I got it from the bank today for God's Sake. I told Aishatu yesterday I should be able to get a copy of it. Don't get your panties in a wad Dude.
Regards,
JM

Then to my DD:

Quote:

Dear Aishatu,
Hey baby, I forwarded an E-mail to you from Barrister Williams. I can't figure what put a bug up his butt. Did you not tell him I was going to get a copy of the bank transfer slip? Anyway, the money has been paid. I hope the paperwork will be done soon. I can't wait to see you in person.
Love,
Jerome

Good old George:

Quote:

Hello Mr. Jerome,

I am not too happy about the way you are handlling this trasfer as if you are not willing and interested in either helping the young poor girl here or i working for you. I have told you that i am a very busy man and can not devote my time for things that has no Alpha, i have many clients i am satnding for which can lead to a very big problem to them and i if i fail to do my work that i have been paid for in Court.

I was in the bank today with the bank payment slip you send to me and there was no swift code from your bank as the sender to show that the bank has transferred such an amount to the provided account i gave to you. i therefore urge you to please for the last time if you really need my assistance to forward to me the bank swift code for the bank here to know where the money was sent from, without it the money can not be released, you are to know this more than me for Christ sake, we have no time on our side Mr Jerome.

I will not want the Chief George to close or suspend my opened case file that i booked, which i have reserved for you in other to get this documents as fast as possible and for you to get your transfer made quickly.

I could not cash the money because of none availability of your bank swift code, try to send it to me now so that i will get the money first thing tomorrow morning.

Mr, Jerome the only problem now is for you to get me the your bank Swift code used in sending to me, Africans are like this please, it is very very important, i will wait to read from you soonest.

Have a nice day.

G W

Must be Alan doesn't have the account closed yet or the Lad knows he needs the swift code before he goes in the first place. (Flip a coin)

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:56 am

This is from a barrister lad who is working with an orphan character. My favourite bits in bold:

Quote:

I do understand that you are trying to play planks on that little chap, if only you can swiddle him of his inherite funds. if you are really a truthful serious businessman then give me your bank particulars such as there contact numbers eg tel/fax and let me know if they are one saying all this. Then for denting my personality, I will take then before the jury.

I can tell you vividly that both account given to you are as a little virgin and I wonder why you have not responded to my last email.

Thanks for playing on my intergrity.

I didn't know bank accounts could be virgins. Mine must be a real slut because there's never any money in it. Wink

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 12:57 am

^Swiddle!!!!!

Meanwhile:

Quote:

please if you are not a serious wooman dont burther your self to contact me.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I cannot seem to get a straight answer from my idiot to save my life. I asked him again where were you?

Quote:

i said i was hospitalised or what again

Where baby? What hospital?

Quote:

i told you that i was sicked and i was hospitalised

Guess that'll learn me for being stupid!

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:02 pm

Some of the wisdom of

Quote:

Lieutenant Major General Jagu Taylor

Quote:

Our inception has corrected worst crime situations all over the world, protecting terrorist attacks.

These terrorist attacks are easily damaged, right?

Quote:

Our agents are dully equipped and positioned in every airport all over the world

They may not be the sharpest knives in the drawer, but how do you get the best when you have to guard every single airport?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I told this one to get lost yesterday. He is always trying to find some bull to spend money on or t try for my credit card. He supposedly has money from inheritance or something but never seems to have any.

You do not love me at all!

Quote:

I do but i wan you to know that Love with out Money is Nothing...

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:29 pm

Seems Cammy was contacted by a screen door salesman with her fund:

Quote:

Director of wire screen department,
Dr Greg Moore Jr

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 10:24 pm

I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE KNOW MORE TO BE FOUND ON EARTH AND I DONT KNOW THAT THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NOT REPLY THE EMAILS I SENT TO YOU REGADING THE TRANSFERRING OF YOUR FUND.

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:05 am

Quote:

BE WELL INFORMED THAT THSES DOCUMENT ARE EXPECTED TO BE IN OUR OFFICE WITHIN NOW AND THE NEXT 10 WORKING DAYS

Since I can't get the documents "NOW" I'll opt for the 10 days, Or never TYVM.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

A Skinner wrote:

I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE KNOW MORE TO BE FOUND ON EARTH AND I DONT KNOW THAT THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NOT REPLY THE EMAILS I SENT TO YOU REGADING THE TRANSFERRING OF YOUR FUND.

Has he seen your avatar?