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 My mum was scammed

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gia1978
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 20 Dec 2010
Posts: 10


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi all

Am new to this forum, and although I was aware of 419 scams, I've recently found out my mother has fallen victim to one, to the tune of £22K, a big chunk out of her retirement fund.

She met him on a dating site (netlog) and unfortunately fell victim to a classic scam - he was an american, working in oil in Nigeria, who couldn't get his money out of the country.

The really sad thing isn't the money, although this is a huge worry to her. For her, she really was in love - they had been talking for seven months and spoke every day. I can't believe my mother (who is otherwise sane and reasonable) really fell for this - but I guess that is testiment to how well she was groomed - they really aren't all idiots.

Anyway, she has ceased contact with him but is broken-hearted and it makes me so sad to see her so hurt.

I would like to do two things. When I've calmed down and got a plan and a fake email address, and other safety precautions, I'd like to start baiting myself - in the hope of keeping them busy and away from real victims. And also, because I really would like to do something productive with this big ball of anger I have that someone psychologically and financially raped my mother like that.

I also have his email address and phone number. I don't trust myself to use these as i don't know what I'm doing. However, I would like to pass them on to a known scammer's register or similar.

Any advice much appreciated

Gia
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internationalchrysis
raging alcoholic


Joined: 19 Aug 2008
Posts: 3793
Location: Romancing the (Blood from a) stone!


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

the forum's sister site, www.scamwarners.com is your best bet. You can post all the details so that if anyone googles the f*cker, all the details you posted will come up warning any potential future victims.

Sorry to hear your mum got burned. And when you're ready, I'm certain someone would LOVE to have a go at your boi (hint hint).

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome gia.

First my deep sympathies for what you and your Mum are going through at present. It's a hard lesson in the rather repugnant morals these scammers have and I hope you can both put it behind you.

You can find information, but more importantly, support here and sometimes realising that you're not alone in falling victim to these predators is reassuring. And make no mistake, armed with the right information Chrys and many others like him can make life VERY difficult for the perpetrators.

Ease into the baiting, learn as much as you can first, and of course, be safe.

Love Phil X

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gia1978
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 20 Dec 2010
Posts: 10


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks very much for your replies Phil and InternationalChrysis - really appreciate it.

I spoke to my mum today (we don't live near each other) and told her about this site - she was not keen on me posting his email address as she still hasn't come to terms with what has happened - she still can't quite believe he isn't genuine. I will respect her wishes and give her some time - she is coming to mine for Christmas so it will be good to talk to her face to face. Especially as they are still in daily contact and I am worried of her slipping back into the scam - it's clear to me he wouldn't be hanging around if he didn't think there was more money to be made. It's a difficult dynamic because I'm trying to be sensitive to her feelings and she is terribly hurt as if it is all a scam, but also I really want her to cut contact completely.

I really think showing her this site will do her some good as well and maybe she will see the benefits of posting details to perhaps avoid someone else falling for a scam in the future.

Anyway, I've got a gmail account and have just signed up for a mentor... hope to be posting happier tales of soon...

G x
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Branwen
Baiting Guru


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 4771
Location: Down on the (Playmobil) farm


PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 2:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi gia, and welcome to Eater. You are correct, not all scammers are idiots - they are also smart, clever, experienced, and very good at tricking people. And the people who believe in them are not 'stupid' either, but, like your mother (and like myself - I believed one, too), sane and reasonable, logical and sensible.

It will always hurt to discover that one has trusted in the wrong person, so of course your mother is going through some hard times right now, emotionally, as well as the terrible loss of money.

After I realised that 'my own scammer' was indeed a scammer, the desire to keep people like him away from other women was my only motivation in starting baiting - it is a very good reason. It's not best though to start 'close to home' and bait someone you really want to seek revenge on: if you want to distract your mother's scammer from other victims, then it would be better to share his email address (and netlog profile details if you have them) with other baiters ...... while you go after baiting other men like him - your mentor will be able to help you find them, and there are also lots of tips in the Romance Baiting FAQ here:

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=125681

Your mother does need to stop ALL contact with the scammer - he will just tell her more lies, and try to win her heart and sympathy back again. She might find it helpful to read this topic at ScamWarners:

Are you falling for a love scammer?

If she is uncomfortable with you posting any information about this scammer at ScamWarners, you could suggest that you PM a moderator or support team member there with the first one or two emails the scammer sent her (plus the email address he uses, and the headers if you are able to access them), and permit them to post them instead. Or you (or she) could post one or two of his first emails in the 'Help! Is this a scam?' forum here:

http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=4

and see what the experienced members have to say about his correspondence.

Your mother is very fortunate to have your support - she will probably go through many cycles of emotion for quite some time, and someone 'being there' for her will continue to be important.

_________________
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It is your first time to use western union so therefore none can blame you. It is always like this at the first experience. - Yes lad, and at the second, and the third... you'll see.

I don't want to guess the number - But, lad, isn't that the best fun to be had with MoneyGram reference numbers?
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Corona
Eater's sweetheart


Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8661
Location: On ya left!


PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 3:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome to eater gia1978 and good luck with this.

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gia1978
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 20 Dec 2010
Posts: 10


PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 4:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks guys - it's all really useful advice. Branwen, I'll show my mum your response when she arrives for Christmas tomorrow.

I really, really want to post his details but as my mother has asked me not to, I've got to respect her wishes. Hopefully, given a little time, she'll realise the benefits to warning others. Right now, it's all a little too painful for her.

I desperately want her to cut all contact with him. The second she agrees, I will be posting all info on Scam Warners. I would dearly love for a few of you to screw this guy around for a good long while. I'm sure he's enjoying spending my mum's 22K, maybe he could afford to to take a few safari trips with some of it?

I will be staying well clear of him. He has my real name and scans of my mum's passport, drving license and so on (she has now taken the necessary precautions for this) - but it's all too close to home for me. I look forward to leading some other scammers on a merry chase, however.

Happy Christmas all X
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