Star Wars Safari--Day 13. Sick, tired, broke.

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Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 3:55 pm

This is our call from last night when Pastor was in the bank trying to withdraw the money:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/Sbn_BT-p/Patbank.html

This morning I call him again. Hmmm, seems the WU didn't work. Thats strange.

http://www.4shared.com/audio/4WSMCLiq/mad.html

Looks like Chewie is trying to set up Luke and I so that he can take the money for himself.

EDITED TO SAY: Pastor just called me again. He now has the bank security officer willing to take the metal detector from the bank and go to the site to search for the money.

Unbelievable.

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:17 pm

Hmm.
1st call
HagenDaäzboi claimed he had family in the area, which is why he was the ideal man for the job of retrieving the box.
Now he can't find anyone to vouch for him in the bank.
OK.

2nd
Interesting. To open an account in Nigeria 5,000naira.
Metal detector for 5,000 dollars?
A nice sub-plot. That must have been an interesting little scene.

He still doesn't understand the money has moved.

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:02 pm

As I wrote - if you need Jabba to speed things up a bit, I'm ready and able. Wink

(And I can't wait to try out my Jabba voice Very Happy

)

insults and more · Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:21 pm

Pastor sent me this around 9a.m. I hadn't had a chance to look at my inbox til now.

Quote:

DEAR BRO. CH3WIE.

I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I FOUND SOMETHING INTERESTING IN YOU. YOU STILL ACKNOWLEDGE GOD IN YOU. NOT EVERYONE WHO CALLS HIMSELF CHRISTIAN CARRIES THE MENTALLITY THAT GOD IS WITH THEM. I WAS A DRUNK SOMETIME PAST, BUT I BEGAN THINKING WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE WHEN MY LOVED ONES SEES ME. BUT NOW I THANK GOD, IT HAS BECAME HISTORY TODAY.

I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I WAS NOT ABLE TO CALL YOU ALL THESE WHILE BECAUSE OF THE MONEY TO BUY CREDIT IN MY PHONE IS LACKING. I LEFT A MESSAGE WITH YOUR ANSWERING MERCHINE TODAY, SO PLEASE EMAIL THE CONTROL NUMBER OF THE WESTERN UNION TO ME IMMEDIATELY, THE T3RMINUS HOTEL MANAGEMENT ARE ON MY NERVES. PLEASE, I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU TODAY.

BEST REGARDS,
PASTOR CL3TUS.

Desperation!

ETA: Header traces IP to 82.128.121.51. http://www.ipligence.com/geolocation resolves this to Lagos.

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 6:04 pm

^^^Lads lie.

No wonder he didn't want a travelling companion from Lagos to B@uchi.
Mmmm.
Where will this go?

insults and more · Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 6:16 pm

^^^ I would say:

But that would be awkward.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Oct 2010 Posts: 77

leonsumbitches wrote:

I finally got credits and called him (around 5:40 a.m. his time)

I had this playing loudly in the background: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NWeKB8n7qw (Richard Cheese's rendition of Darth Vader's Imperial March theme)

I tried to hit the record button as soon as the call began, but I screwed up (Chewie is rubbing off on me).

Here is a rough transcript:

Me: Hello? Hello? This place is way too loud.
Lad: Hello? Who is this?
Me: It's Chewie. Chewie. Chewie! I sent you the money!
Lad: [unintelligible]
Me: I SENT YOU THE MONEY!
Lad: Listen I
Me: YOU NEED THE MTCN! I HAVE IT! HERE IT IS [bellowing during a piano solo]
Lad: You need
Me: I CAN'T HEAR YOU AT ALL THIS PLACE IS WAY TOO FUCKING LOUD!
Lad: [unintelligible]
Me: I'll email you. I'LL EMAIL YOU THE DETAILS. CAN YOU PICK UP A WESTERN UNION PAYMENT IN YOUR HOTEL?
Lad: [beginning of a shout]
Me: CAN YOU PICK UP THE MONEY WHERE YOU ARE?!

At this point he should be so angry at Chewie that he has not a doubt in his mind that Chewie really did send the money, but is way too intoxicated to give him the payment information.

Now I'll wait til NWM gives me the go-ahead for further contact.

you should have played the starwars Cantina band in the background loudly, and just called and growled at him like the real chewie would - just sayin, could be fun nexttime - LOL\

Edit:
Cantina Music on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaPf-MRKITg

Why sound like chewbacca - when you can BE chewbacca. Chewbacca Sound Board:
http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Chewbacca_Sound.aspx

Please, make it happen? Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 8:35 pm

Ok just called the lad. I was basically just trying to tell him we are on the run hiding out but working on getting him some money. H@ns and myself are now sure Chew1e is screwing us.

http://callrec.me/ERMBJWMA

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 8:39 pm

^^^ Sounds like Darth Vader is breathing in the background...

insults and more · Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 8:58 pm

He's been trying to call me nonstop.

Him: Hello? This is Cl3tus.
Me: This is Chewie.
Him: Hello
Me: Did you pick up the money?
Him: The Money transfer control number was not valid!
Me: I gave the information to H4ns and Luk3! You should have gotten it!
Him: I went to-
Me: Tell me what mtcn they gave you.
Him: They
Me: What NUMBER DID THEY GIVE YOU?!
Him: I had to
Me: WHAT NUMBER?
Him: [recites the number]
Me: I'm looking at the receipt now.
Him: I-
Me: The number is wrong! FUCK! IT DOESN'T END IN 4
Him: what numb-
Me: OH GOD I GAVE THEM THE WRONG NUMBER! I FUCKED IT ALL UP! OH GOD OH GOD!
Him: Then you must give-
Me: Here is the number: Four five two two OH GOD no four five two [hanged up]

He then tried to call me about 8 times in the next few minutes while I was writing it up to the others.

I finally picked up the phone.

Lad: This is Cl3tus.
Me: The number begins 455. Right?
Lad: I
Me: Tell me the next number
Lad: the
Me: What comes after 455?
Lad: it
Me: FOUR FIVE FIVE AND THEN WHAT? WHICH IS IT?
Lad: Tell me the whole number on the receipt
Me: it's 455593210
Lad: Four five five
Me: 455593210
Lad: Four five five five
Me: 455593210!
Lad: four five five
Me: 455593210!
Lad: four five five
Me: 455593 [hang up]

He then called me about 5 more times.

He seems rather desperate. Why is he still asking me for the mtcn when it has been made abundantly clear that I am screwing everyone over?

ETA: I finally managed to record a call:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/Wjgj08ag/2dea32cfa9ea191d6646ce0cd5ea9e.html

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:26 pm

^^ I was thinking the same thing when I was on the phone with him. He wanted me to confirm the number.. I kept telling him I thought it was a bs number and Chew!e was just screwing us.

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:28 pm

Nice call Bravo. I think we are going to pull of this 'on the run' bit, because we are setting the stage nicely.

@Chewie: Also nice job. When in doubt, feign a bad connection, then ignore.

MF'r has got to be in Bauchi!

He just called and I told him that some men were here questioning me and couldn't talk.

Lets have The Dane make a call.

insults and more · Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:19 pm

He called me again.

Very odd.

Him:Please mr Chewie call me back.
Me: I'm on the phone right now. WHAT?
Him: Please call me back urgently
Me: WHAT? I AM ON THE PHONE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW
Him: please call me right back
Me: What the HELL do you want? SAY IT!

I am starting to hate him.

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:29 pm

Enter Lance DoCalrissian, Luke's buddy who he asked for monetary help. The English accent sounds a bit fake, be warned. Sad

EDIT: Converted the file to a more dowload friendly format.
http://www.mediafire.com/?7yit8zc2itd1n20

Yeah, I'm beginning to hate him too.

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 2:41 am

Nowhere Man wrote:

EDITED TO SAY: Pastor just called me again. He now has the bank security officer willing to take the metal detector from the bank and go to the site to search for the money.

Unbelievable.

He's very likely to find a water-main. Hopefully he's using a pick-axe so Bauchi can have a water fountain in one of their traffic circles Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 2:55 am

Jose you just reminded me of a question I had earlier.. What the hell is a "digger"?? He said he had a shovel but was going to use the WU money to buy a digger.

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 3:17 am

Get him to explain to be certain, but if I had to guess, I'd say one of these... Shocked

ETA> If you convince him to rent one of those, he could get to the money in about an hour. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 3:19 am

Man those are cheap in Nigeria apparently less than $552USD. I guess he could just be renting..

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:33 am

^^^I was under the impression the digger was some unfortunate ITP roped in by HagenDaäzboi.

@theDane-I'm listening to that phone call.
I can hear it loud and clear; last night I couldn't.
ADSL connections are quite iffy, but seem good this morning.

I love how smarmy the lad is in his Pastor role.
"Trust" "My friend".
Wonderful.
A photo could come in very handy, I daresay.

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 10:56 am

^^^ Must've been the wine affecting your hearing. :p

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:22 am

Hey.
Even princesses need some anaesthetic to deal with the Jacuzzi utterly, utterly ruined from being clogged with hair!
Between the plumbers' fees, heartbreak and a patchy ADSL connection, it's only due to her inherent Jedi qualities the princess gets through the day!

Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:18 am

Today's phone calls:

First, I called him in the afternoon:
http://www.mediafire.com/?hj929ka5c0hvg0y
HE HUNG UP?!?

Waited 50 minutes, and called back:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ackdrj9d798rd84

No photo. Called again.
http://www.mediafire.com/?ocd2c8eky4d94bt

Waited 2½ hours. Still nothing. Getting annoyed, but decide to play good cop for now.
http://www.mediafire.com/?sj0j6949ma31kpn
http://www.mediafire.com/?t934rykae148epf

Decide to wait for 30 minutes:
http://www.mediafire.com/?33d0us8amzkv3mr

I'm sceptic. Waited for another hour to see if I can catch the "receptionist" off guard. "5 minutes"... pffft:
http://www.mediafire.com/?1dwggonf3duyk5f

Meantime, I got some voicemails from him:
http://www.mediafire.com/?qysy9ego3fa1c4g
http://www.mediafire.com/?vqiyx4dp14xol91

Ok - didn't look like I could get him to do anything that matters for the remainder of tonight, so I gave him a goodnight call:
http://www.mediafire.com/?jjvdjtzokfkk9hp

I think he's confused and a bit suspicious. And I don't think he is where he says he is. Opinions?

Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:19 pm

Impressive work!
Where will this lad end up, I wonder?

insults and more · Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:30 pm

^^^ After the shit he's pulled, I'm hoping NWM sends him to Siberia.

And the scary thing is, I'm not sure NWM couldn't.

Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:39 pm

Well.... in 8auchi, he claims - and backs it with these receipts (Leeted, since the thread is beginning to hit high on searches for keywords. My bolding):

Quote:

DEAR BRO. LANC3.

COMPLEMENT OF THE SEASON! YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH HERE IN B4UCHI, NIGERIA. IT IS TRUE THAT NIGERIANS HAS BAD REPUTATION BUT I AM NOT RESIDING IN NIGERIA. IT ALL STARTED WHEN I CAME IN CONTACT WITH BRO. H4NS WHO WAS INTRODUCED BY ONE OF MY SONS IN THE LORD, WHO TOLD ME THEY WHERE IN NIGERIA FEW MONTHS AGO FOR THE GP5 JOB. AND HE TOLD ME THEY HAVE SOME FUNDS DEPOSITED SOMEWHERE IN B4UCHI AND I SHOULD ASSIST IN RETRIEVING THE FUNDS TO THEM. I TOLD THEM I AM A MINISTER OF GOD, AND BESIDES ITS ODD TO FIND MYSELF IN SUCH SITUATION, THOUGH I AM A NIGERIAN RESIDING IN GHANA. SO THEY SAID I AM THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE TRUSTED FOR THE JOB. AFTER FEW DAYS OF CONFRONTATION, I DECIDED AND SAID THEY SHOULD SEND TRANSPORT TO B4UCHI. BECAUSE I HAVE TO PASS THROUGH THE AIR FOR SWIFT MOVEMENT, BUT THEY INSISTED AND SAID I SHOULD USE MY MONEY. I TOLD THEM I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FUNDS THAT CAN TAKE ME TO NIGERIA, BECAUSE THE YEAR HAS COME TO AN END, AND I USED ALL THE FUNDS IN MY HAND. I ONLY AIN LITTLE AS A MINISTER OF GOD. BUT THEY INSISTED THAT I SHOULD GO BY ROAD. THEY PERSUADED TILL I MADE UP MY MIND, BUT WITH AN AGREEMENT THAT THEY WILL START PAYING MY TRANSPORT IMMEDIATELY I GET TO ABUJA.

WHEN I ARRIVE ABUJA, I WAS SUPPOSE TO SEND AN EMAIL TO THEM. BUT COULD NOT FIND A NEAR BY CYBER CAFE TO SEND THE MAIL TO THEM, THINKING WHEN I GET TO B4UCHI I CAN COMMUNICATE THEM EASILY. I ARRIVE B4UCHI AND CALLED MR. H4NS WHO PROMISE TO SPEAK WITH BRO. LUK3. I HAVE LITTLE MONEY BECAUSE SOMEONE ASSISTED IN MY TRANSPORTATION TO B4UCHI. I ARRIVED 30TH. DEC. 2010, I PAID FOR THE FIRST DAY IN THE HOTEL I LODGED. HOPING THEY WILL SEND MONEY TO ME SOONEST. SINCE THEN, I WAS LIKE A BEGGER IN ALMOST EVERYTHING I DO, EVEN TO FEED. AND THAT WAS HOW YOU CALLED.

BRO. LUK3 CALLED AND GAVE ME A CONTROL NUMBER THAT MR. CH1W1E SENT MONEY TO ME. GETTING TO THE BANK, THEY SAID I HAVE TO OPEN AN ACCOUNT WITH THE BANK, WITH THE MINIMUM OF 5,000 NIGERIA CURRENCY , BECAUSE THAT IS THE NEW RULE FROM CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA. BECAUSE OF THE SCAM PURPOSES. I HAVE TO RUN ROUND THE HOTEL AND ASK SOMEONE TO ASSIST ME WITH THE 5,000 NAIRA. AFTER OPENING THE ACCOUNT, I FOUND OUT THAT NOTHING WAS SENT TO ME. I HAVE TO CALL CHEW1E WHO CANNOT SAY A WORD OUT OF HIS MOUTH. SO I INFORMED BRO LUK3 WHO GAVE ME THE CONTROL NUMBER. THAT WAS HOW HE PROMISE TO ASSIST ME IN ANY WAY HE CAN.

I WAS RUNNING TO AND FRO THE STREET OF B4UCHI. WHEN YOU ASK ME TO SNAP THE HOTEL, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RAISE MONEY AND PAY THE PHOTOGRAPHER, BECAUSE EVERY ONE I ASK FOR MONEY LOOKS AT ME LIKE A MAD MAN WHO JUST WANT TO SCAM THEM. THAT WAS HOW I TRY TO SEND THE PICTURE THROUGH MY PHONE, BUT THE PHONE IS ASKING ME TO CONNECT MY WAP. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. EVEN THE RESIT GIVING TO ME WAS HARDLY TAKING DOWN BECAUSE THEY SAID UNLESS I PAY BEFORE THEY CAN ISSUE THE RESIT TO ME, BECAUSE I MAY USE IT AGAINST THEM.

PLEASE, BRO. LANC3 I KNOW YOU HAVE BAD IMPRESSION ABOUT NIGERIANS, BUT NOT ALL ARE BAD. I KNOW SOMETHING TELL'S YOU TO HELP ME, THAT IS WHY YOU KEEP CALLING ME TO ASSIST ME. AND AS YOU DO THIS, GOD WILL RICHLY BLESS YOU.

THANKS, PLEASE YOU CAN CALL ME BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE MONEY TO PAY FOR THE INTERNET. BESIDES, THE LINKS HERE IN B4UCHI IS POOR. ALWAYS GOES OFF.

BEST REGARDS,
CL3TUS OROF3.

Attached scans:
http://members.419eater.com/~thedane/Star_Wars_Bait/scan_1.JPG
http://members.419eater.com/~thedane/Star_Wars_Bait/scan_2.JPG

Are they real? At first sight, they look genuine IMO... but there are little things that bugs me. Opinions? Come on, don't be shy.

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