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 Real life baiting: the most baitish excuse you've used in RL

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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I've only been at this for a few months, but already I find it disturbingly easy to see real life situations in terms of baiting. My ability to bullshit and procrastinate has increased exponentially. I can only imagine how drastically a master like Otterfan or Bolleboos could impair productivity if they wanted.

Nabokov once wrote a story wherein a chessmaster has a psychotic breakdown and begins fixating on chess. He eventually sees the world through chess. "That streetlight can take that dog by a knight's move. That cloud can take the moon in three moves." I can easily imagine a seasoned baiter suddenly creating a zone of procrastination sufficient to stall a national economy.

I'll tell you my baitish excuse if you tell me yours.

_________________
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

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bravo95
Elite Baiter


Joined: 08 Aug 2010
Posts: 1990
Location: Wouldn't you like to know...


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm in sells and what I sell is custom made to order. I have always had to bend the truth when we do not meet deadlines but my baiting experience has brought my truth bending skills to a new level. In fact sometimes I have to remember to tone down some of the excuses I give. There are only so many times our office building can be struck by lightning Wink

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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"I'll send you an email first thing in the morning." Twisted Evil

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Dya Reyarunen-Downmeleg
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Aug 2009
Posts: 4129
Location: At the toilet door yelling are you almost done in there? Oops, too late...


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"Explosive Diarrhea" works for almost any situation...

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^ You are my favorite Canadian on Earth. Very Happy Pastor Frank



Closed lad accounts x163 Easter Egg 2011 Easter Egg Easter Egg 2013 Goat Goat Goat Golden Goat Mc Fry Purple Flower Mortar Elite Ninja Team Member

so as to enable the conclusion of this transaction on your behalf since you are not dead because if you are dead you would not have write me because I know that never will a dead
write to living...
I could receive the document official which you want to forward me for adhesion with [email protected]
I am captivated, impressed and hypnotised with your sincerity
This you’re [email protected] has it existed some how somewhere before?
Your ASSCODE is: 999-035-2655



"I Am Not a Justin Beiber Fan" innocent.being


Steward, WTF?



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Pastor Frank
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Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 11512
Location: EN34ix


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 6:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

leonsumbitches wrote:
. I can only imagine how drastically a master like Otterfan or Bolleboos could impair productivity if they wanted.


What lead you to believe Otterfan is a "master"; putz perhaps, but master?

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"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R
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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 6:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Woah there. Only a Canadian could profess dislike of someone who likes otters.

_________________
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

GYV::Tanstaafl::Abiga::Game-theory::Church-Sites Easter Egg 2011
Closed lad accounts x 18 (10 from Tanstaafl baits) United Kingdom x 5 United States x 2 Ivory Coast Netherlands Malaysia Nigeria x 2 Spain
Safari SW Bait - Cl3tus Orof3 Accra->8auchi->Accra->Lagos, co-bait with Nowhere Man, Bravo, The Dane & psychicbait
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How to kill a Badger
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Mr Tambourine Man
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Joined: 06 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"Well, I can open the attachment".
Smile

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irishemigrant
I Told You So


Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4872
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Anybody that professes a dislike of CHEESE could never be considered a "Master"

Jose, as usual, pesents the best answer, although he could also have added, "my secretary will be in touch with you in the morning"

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CookieMonster
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 May 2010
Posts: 157
Location: Your Pantry


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The phone call when I was at work

A: Hi, is Barry there?
Me: No, sorry, the whole office is sick today.
A: Wow, that sounds rather serious, any idea what it is?

This was a food manufacturing company, so I can see why this question was relevant.

Me: No, no idea sorry. They are all just weak I think. I'm not sick, I feel fine, must be because I'm young and sprightly.
A: Wow....I hope they get better soon. I'll try again next week.
Me: No problem. I'll tell Barry you called, he has your number right?
A: Yes. Thanks very much!


In reality: The 12 of us in the office were drinking beers outside in the sun. Very Happy

_________________
Bait lazy, ask me how.

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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ You really are not doing anything to help Australia's reputation as a free-for-all festival of alcohol, beaches, sun, and the occasional dingo attack or post-apocalyptic biker gang raid.

Maybe I'm just grumpy because it's below freezing here and everything is caked with sky dandruff.

_________________
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

GYV::Tanstaafl::Abiga::Game-theory::Church-Sites Easter Egg 2011
Closed lad accounts x 18 (10 from Tanstaafl baits) United Kingdom x 5 United States x 2 Ivory Coast Netherlands Malaysia Nigeria x 2 Spain
Safari SW Bait - Cl3tus Orof3 Accra->8auchi->Accra->Lagos, co-bait with Nowhere Man, Bravo, The Dane & psychicbait
insults and more
How to kill a Badger
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Fowan Nyne
Baiting Guru


Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Posts: 3720
Location: Miniluv


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I went into a chemist for some paracetamol and the service was a little slow. The girl in the back muttered "can I help?"
I could see her but not her colleagues and didn't realise she was talking to me.
Now, my hearing is really good and the next thing she muttered was "must be bloody deaf & dumb" as she made her way to the counter. When she got there and looked at me like I was a moron, I gestured for a pen and paper.
When she gave me it, I wrote "Paracetamol please".
She squirmed pretty badly as most of the shop had heard her comment. Smile

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Dya Reyarunen-Downmeleg
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Joined: 10 Aug 2009
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Location: At the toilet door yelling are you almost done in there? Oops, too late...


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^

Brilliant! Laughing

_________________
^ You are my favorite Canadian on Earth. Very Happy Pastor Frank



Closed lad accounts x163 Easter Egg 2011 Easter Egg Easter Egg 2013 Goat Goat Goat Golden Goat Mc Fry Purple Flower Mortar Elite Ninja Team Member

so as to enable the conclusion of this transaction on your behalf since you are not dead because if you are dead you would not have write me because I know that never will a dead
write to living...
I could receive the document official which you want to forward me for adhesion with [email protected]
I am captivated, impressed and hypnotised with your sincerity
This you’re [email protected] has it existed some how somewhere before?
Your ASSCODE is: 999-035-2655



"I Am Not a Justin Beiber Fan" innocent.being


Steward, WTF?



SAY NO TO SCURVY
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Badgerbait
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2009
Posts: 4502
Location: Alas, summer is slow in responding.


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 6:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That was great Fowan! Laughing I'll bet she felt real small all day and into the night. Twisted Evil

_________________
I have arrived in Moscow. Has gone to bank and to me have told that there is no such transfer for me!!!!
What does it mean? You played with me? If it so that you very much the cruel man and I am assured of that that the god will see your cruelty.
Explain to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Alena Byk0va
-----------
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Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.
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CookieMonster
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 May 2010
Posts: 157
Location: Your Pantry


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@leonsumbitches: Your assumption that I am an Australian is mildly insulting!

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Badgerbait
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2009
Posts: 4502
Location: Alas, summer is slow in responding.


PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^and leon called PF a Canadian!!! Shocked Surprised

Hugs to Fartina!!

_________________
I have arrived in Moscow. Has gone to bank and to me have told that there is no such transfer for me!!!!
What does it mean? You played with me? If it so that you very much the cruel man and I am assured of that that the god will see your cruelty.
Explain to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Alena Byk0va
-----------
Closed lad accounts x12 Goat Easter Egg Mortar x3 x4 Elite Ninja Team Member

We are Karma's soldiers.
<a href="/forum/donate.php">Mugu Gold</a>

I must be cruel, only to be kind:
Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.
-Hamlet, scene iv

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CookieMonster
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 May 2010
Posts: 157
Location: Your Pantry


PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

PF isn't a Canadian?! Very Happy

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Lachesis
** SUSPENDED **


Joined: 01 Nov 2010
Posts: 1162


PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Image

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Site killer, scam baiter, shit poster.

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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Cookiemonster: It is mildly insulting to be considered kin to Mad Max?

Whatever country you're really from must be frickin' awesome.

_________________
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

GYV::Tanstaafl::Abiga::Game-theory::Church-Sites Easter Egg 2011
Closed lad accounts x 18 (10 from Tanstaafl baits) United Kingdom x 5 United States x 2 Ivory Coast Netherlands Malaysia Nigeria x 2 Spain
Safari SW Bait - Cl3tus Orof3 Accra->8auchi->Accra->Lagos, co-bait with Nowhere Man, Bravo, The Dane & psychicbait
insults and more
How to kill a Badger
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El Nombre
419Eater is my life


Joined: 06 Jun 2009
Posts: 375
Location: slapping the nearest lad with a spoon


PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 6:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

well, no baiterish excuses, but i genuinely forgot to put attachments on a message i sent out today after getting back into "never add attachments" mode Smile

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 7:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Badgerbait wrote:
^^^and leon called PF a Canadian!!! Shocked Surprised


CookieMonster wrote:
PF isn't a Canadian?! Very Happy


I'm monitoring this closely.

_________________
"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R
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CookieMonster
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 May 2010
Posts: 157
Location: Your Pantry


PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

leonsumbitches wrote:
Cookiemonster:Whatever country you're really from must be frickin' awesome.


I find that anything within a 100m radius of me is frickin' awesome, doesn't matter what country I'm in Cool

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Fowan Nyne
Baiting Guru


Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Posts: 3720
Location: Miniluv


PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 11:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Watch out for Slightlyoutofit!

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Click here to see a proper scam

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Dr Mike
Banned for Total Shitfuckery


Joined: 14 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yup, His Awesomeness isn't going to take lightly on this. And if it turns out bad he will sent his whole sect on you, which i might add contains quite a few Eater members.

But i can relate to CookieMonster being [pun]slightly[/pun] insulted by being called an Aussie.

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CookieMonster
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 May 2010
Posts: 157
Location: Your Pantry


PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I like their women, but that's about as far as the liking goes Very Happy

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Morgain Le Fay
Pistol-packin' Mama


Joined: 14 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Received the following from a lazy lad:


Quote:
I receive your mail,i am not able to open the questioner. I have been studying the tax information you sent to me.


Both attachments were sent in the same format. If the idiot could open one then he could have opened the questionnaire.

I told him (quite nicely of course since I am a (fake) lawyer) that if he could open one, he could open the other. However, I sent him a list of 6 options for formats knowing he will whine again.

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