dipping my toe into gold, W1nston Smith rides again

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Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2010 Posts: 172

Lo and behold, I am offered a great deal on some gold dust. Fortuitous really cos - whaddyaknow - I be flyin' to Ghana on the 18th with my secretary. She likes nice hotels.

Here's a picture of a hotel that I downloaded from the internet, says lad.

Looks nice, says I, can you book us a suite please for when we arrive.

Er, you book it, says lad.

Whoah cowboy, says I, this is highly unusual. I think I'll deal instead with the other nice businessman I have been in touch with, his gold is more expensive than yours but heck, he's more polite and he's booking my accomodation for me. TAKE THAT!!

lad :

Quote:

listing very carefully.we really want to do business with you.you are the one who wants to buy our product.that is why asked early on if you are coming to Ghana just to deal with us or with other people.and we are not forcing you to buy from us.lot of people come without any complaint.and i don't think you are ready to buy from us.no ones asks.and we have businessmen also coming on the 18 as well so if you think you can do business with you and wants to carry on with Winston smith,its up to you to decide.

it's at this point I get into bed with Winston and forward my correspondence with gold lads to him, meaning he now has their email addy. inspired by a quote I read elsewhere on here, Winston decides to taunt the gold boys

Quote:

I b abu boy, u b no saba aboki mumu

this does not quite sit well with them, they respond :

Quote:

you rather be mumu.fuck you.if you fuck up i go knock the work.stupid fool.just try me i go knock am i go tell am say you no get any gold to sell to am.mumu

i toyed with having Winston send them KLF lyrics about being bound for mumu land but that can wait.

gold lad asks if i asked winston to email him - no, says i - i'm not doing business with you any more and saw no problem in forwarding our correspondence to him

gold lad :

Quote:

am afraid you are dealing with something else.do you know what he just told me by the email?hahahaha be careful.am a God fearing gentleman and dont want to see you lose a huge amount of money.keeps this a secret.give me his number i will track him because there is no company named by winston smith..i repeat be very very careful

me :

Quote:

I have no reason to give you his number.

You're more than welcome to come to the airport though, I'll buy you a coffee and we can speak for 5 minutes before I leave with Mr Smith.

gold lad :

Quote:

i dont need anything from you.all am saying is be very careful.i have seen such incident before.whitemen been killed at the airport.i will advice you to come with your personal security.do you know the mail he sent to me?be careful i repeat.and note.i dont want any coffe with you

...around this time, I am fortuitously and timeously contacted by yet another person offering gold dust. it's either lad trying again, or one of his mates. this lot have no problem with accomodation.

meantime, original gold lad informs me that he is meeting Winston Smith tonight :

Quote:

i will be meeting with winston smith later in the evening.please dont tell him i told you.i want to know if he is real and has something to sell to you.

my reply :

Quote:

how can you be meeting him if he is not even in the country?

will anyone be there to meet me on the 18th?

will anyone book me and my secretary our suite?

how much is coffee at Accra airport anyway?

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:08 pm

You know? That sounds exactly like a lad selling gold in Ghana who I was dealing with until recently. I just dropped him after he refused to go any further unless we talked on the phone (which is something I will not do). I had him convinced I was coming to Mali on a business trip and that I could stop by Ghana on the way, but he wouldn't budge on the telephone issue. I gave him a K7 phone number, but he didn't like the answering machine. So maybe more stubborn than your lad after all. Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2010 Posts: 172

I love talking to lads on the phone. Problem is, my line sounds so bad it's almost as if someone has deliberately added audio effects to the voice and is also mixing in random banjo records and acid house records.

Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 1:00 am

dadaist wrote:

Problem is, my line sounds so bad it's almost as if someone has deliberately added audio effects to the voice and is also mixing in random banjo records and acid house records.

Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 1:56 am

^^^I noticed you love that little guy alternating between laughing and crying

Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 3:42 am

Not my fault... blame this site

I've actually woken my wife from a deep sleep by laughing hysterically at some of these posts.

Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2010 Posts: 172

Well, there are some strange parallels at work here.

Very shortly after falling out with this gold lad, a completely new one appears.

I sent his posse on an excursion into Togo this weekend.

Once they got fed up chasing his shadow around Lome, they headed back for the border before it shut to start their voyage home.

Suddenly, my original friend gets back in touch!

He wondered how my trip to Ghana was and whether I had met Winston Smith.

These two gold lads seem to be leading parallel lives!

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

Oh this is wonderful Laughing

Off topic: Is that Vyacheslav Tikhonov in your avatar?

Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2010 Posts: 172

Vinata Giolla wrote:

Oh this is wonderful Laughing

Off topic: Is that Vyacheslav Tikhonov in your avatar?

YES!!

Got any good Stirlitz jokes?

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

'Fraid not. I've only seen him as Prince Andrei Bolkonsky in War and Peace.

Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2010 Posts: 172

Vinata Giolla wrote:

'Fraid not. I've only seen him as Prince Andrei Bolkonsky in War and Peace.

Highly recommend "Seventeen Moments Of Spring".

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

I'll check it out Smile

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