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 Hemingway Lists: A story in a shopping list

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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:05 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Supposedly, Ernest Hemingway claimed the best short story he ever wrote was the single sentence:
Quote:
For sale: baby shoes, never used.

For a long time I've played with the idea of Hemingway Lists. It's a list of items which somehow forebodes an imminent incident of great perversity and/or violence, using as few words as possible.

For instance:
Quote:
I went to the store and picked up a pound of butter, a plunger, some catnip, and a pack of coathangers.

Or:
Quote:
A dozen mice and a dachschund from the petshop, a bottle of Thunderbird, an industrial stapler, three quarts of lighter fluid, and a sleeping bag.

Your turn. Let's make up some very disturbing yet evocative shopping lists.

_________________
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru


Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

One cartridge.

_________________
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Esox lucius
cat strangler


Joined: 26 May 2010
Posts: 2570
Location: Somewhere down the crazy river!


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Air ticket to Lagos.

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Badgerbait
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2009
Posts: 4502
Location: Alas, summer is slow in responding.


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 5:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A gallon of eggshell white, a bottle of the paint thinner Irish is always going on about, a snakeskin vest and 4 pounds of ground chuck.

_________________
I have arrived in Moscow. Has gone to bank and to me have told that there is no such transfer for me!!!!
What does it mean? You played with me? If it so that you very much the cruel man and I am assured of that that the god will see your cruelty.
Explain to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Alena Byk0va
-----------
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I must be cruel, only to be kind:
Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.
-Hamlet, scene iv

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sunshine
lolcat


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Wet suit, scissors, 2 pounds of mackerel, one dolphin, lard.

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Yastreb
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Joined: 04 Apr 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Black tracksuit, dark glasses, bag of flour, hunting knife, roll of duct tape.

_________________
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"I aim to misbehave."

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windypops
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 10:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Fire sale brought foreward.

_________________
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Tommo Shanter
Swiss Toni


Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5379
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Axe For Sale.

One Careful Owner.

Contact Mr Usman Bello on this number.... Shocked

_________________
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lola_pola
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 11 Mar 2010
Posts: 65
Location: behind Satchel's and Lexxi's backs


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

a pair of shrt guns Smile
a bucket of green colour
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Dr Mike
Banned for Total Shitfuckery


Joined: 14 Jun 2010
Posts: 3260
Location: Due north


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

An AC MIlan jersey, a bottle of cheap wine, and 10 feet of rope.

_________________
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bohigal
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 7227
Location: Epstein's Delicatessen


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Honey, could you pick up me a discount DVD of Kill Bill Vol. 1 and a yellow track suit?"

_________________

Stop typing in french, am seriously dissapointed....am just confused!!!
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My dear with this only, it is clear you have contacted and communicated with Africa Fraudsters and even send funds to him. what a pity!
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Kokomeister
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Sep 2008
Posts: 3002
Location: Wandering around the world with a sense of adventure!


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Black Sunglasses, a white T-shirt, red wine, and a machete.

_________________
red head gangster (Emma the Tropical Herbalist)
YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY LIFE ADVENTURE (Joel Desire)
YOU ARE SUCH A BIG SICKNESS THAT STEP ON ME! (Joel Desire)
YOU ARE TOO SMALL, GO AHEAD WITH WHATEVER YOU THINK OR IMAGINED THAT YOU CAN DO TO ME, ONCE YOU TRY ONCE YOU WILL DIE HARD. YOU BETTER DON'T TRY ME AT ALL YOU FOOL- Mariam Abacha (6 months)
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Badgerbait
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2009
Posts: 4502
Location: Alas, summer is slow in responding.


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A package of Bolonga, Whipped Cream, Cheez Whiz, Ramen Noodles, Baked Beans, and a toilet brush.

_________________
I have arrived in Moscow. Has gone to bank and to me have told that there is no such transfer for me!!!!
What does it mean? You played with me? If it so that you very much the cruel man and I am assured of that that the god will see your cruelty.
Explain to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Alena Byk0va
-----------
Closed lad accounts x12 Goat Easter Egg Mortar x3 x4 Elite Ninja Team Member

We are Karma's soldiers.
<a href="/forum/donate.php">Mugu Gold</a>

I must be cruel, only to be kind:
Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.
-Hamlet, scene iv

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Bart Fargo
Corporate Baiter


Joined: 22 May 2010
Posts: 1605
Location: Free munchies for the cantaloupe masters


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A box of tampons, barb wire, turkey baster, one live rabbit, and a bottle of vodka.

_________________
What the hell happened to all my little icons I earned and my quotes???
Mc Fry <===the hardest icon to earn
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leonsumbitches
Elite Baiter


Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Posts: 1046
Location: I'm out there, where every man wants to be


PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You, me, a butane torch, and a dream.

_________________
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.

GYV::Tanstaafl::Abiga::Game-theory::Church-Sites Easter Egg 2011
Closed lad accounts x 18 (10 from Tanstaafl baits) United Kingdom x 5 United States x 2 Ivory Coast Netherlands Malaysia Nigeria x 2 Spain
Safari SW Bait - Cl3tus Orof3 Accra->8auchi->Accra->Lagos, co-bait with Nowhere Man, Bravo, The Dane & psychicbait
insults and more
How to kill a Badger
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Asena
Elite Baiter


Joined: 26 Jan 2010
Posts: 1352
Location: Turn Left at Orion


PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Dissection for beginners book, a scalpel, and a bag of jelly babies.

_________________
Asena

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Pastor Frank
Moderator


Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 11430
Location: Illuminati HQ


PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dr Mike wrote:
An AC MIlan jersey, a bottle of cheap wine, and 10 feet of rope.


I have to concur with the good Doctor, with two slight changes.

A Minnesota Vikings jersey, a bottle of cheap vodka, and 10 feet of rope.

_________________
"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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Cougar
Elite Baiter


Joined: 16 Apr 2009
Posts: 1293
Location: Curled up on the doctor's chair.


PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Several feet of twine, a hot wax kit, padded handcuffs and a chilli pepper.

Quote:
Fire sale brought foreward.
Laughing Windy's winning.

_________________
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Newdonym
Elite Baiter


Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Posts: 1043


PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A bottle of gin and a single coat hanger.
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irishemigrant
I Told You So


Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4864
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E


PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

ready whip, strawberries, thigh high stockings, 100' 1/2 inch rope, electric 1 tonne hoist

_________________
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Master
fooliest baboom


Joined: 29 Jan 2008
Posts: 2531
Location: AU


PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 8:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

are stockings for you or her irish Shocked

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irishemigrant
I Told You So


Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4864
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E


PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 8:52 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^@ Master

If you need to ask, you will never know Wink

_________________
SeniorNet NZ Local Branch ongoing workshops about internet scams

http://www.scamwarners.com/ For when you want to remember why we bait

Goodbye Mike (Paranoid) Friend, confidant, partner. Till we meet again.
Personal Message From The Axeman
Easter Egg 2012 pony pony <-- Because you have earned them. Wink Goat Goat Golden Goat Mortar x8 Closed lad accounts a few x 13
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CookieMonster
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 May 2010
Posts: 157
Location: Your Pantry


PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

alcohol, sti check, pain killers.

_________________
Bait lazy, ask me how.

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Kokomeister
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Sep 2008
Posts: 3002
Location: Wandering around the world with a sense of adventure!


PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 5:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Propane tank, matches, your father, rope, hamburgers and seasoning salt.

_________________
red head gangster (Emma the Tropical Herbalist)
YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY LIFE ADVENTURE (Joel Desire)
YOU ARE SUCH A BIG SICKNESS THAT STEP ON ME! (Joel Desire)
YOU ARE TOO SMALL, GO AHEAD WITH WHATEVER YOU THINK OR IMAGINED THAT YOU CAN DO TO ME, ONCE YOU TRY ONCE YOU WILL DIE HARD. YOU BETTER DON'T TRY ME AT ALL YOU FOOL- Mariam Abacha (6 months)
<a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=232044">[Current ongoing bait]</a>
<a href="/forum/donate.php">[Exclusive prizes]</a>
Closed lad accounts x17 Goat Easter Egg 2011 Nigeria
Safari Auntie Tina- Lagos-Parakou-Tanguieta-Niamey-Tera-Mallanville-Lagos "well the story you read in children's fairytale story book when you are young is not the same as what is happing now."
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