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 Yoda talks dirty (NSFW)

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TheL0neRanger
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Brilliant! Two thumbs up! I laughed, I cried, I leaked a little! Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
Spain x2
Closed lad accounts x3
Quote:
...seems that you dont want to help me out here to be with you ....U are just try to Stress me here ..... kate.mark

sir I want you to help me confuse john about sending this money trough western union of money Gram kate.mark
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 11:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Baiters!
Have a Miserable Christmas and a Terrible New Year V/lads!

Lots of love, Phil (and of course Yoda)

Kissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Image

_________________
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"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
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Jim Beam
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Posts: 45


PostPosted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 1:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

What a scream! Kudos....

I was thinking that perhaps you could come up with a WU Security form. You could say payments to Russia have been flagged, since after the Wikileaks we all know that it is a mafia state. All recipients in Russia with funds coming from the UK, have to fill out a form. And you could make it devilishly hard--with finger and toe prints, passport photos.

And best of all she could have to fill it out again and again for having filled it out incorrectly in the first place. This way she's at fault for not getting the money...and you get more sexy time with her Very Happy

I bet that could stretch it Past New Years, given all the upcoming holidays.
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Jim! If I thought Yoda would bend over backwards (well, she's already bent over forwards for me!) then I would definitely take advantage.
This vlad's a lazy one though and more importantly very egotistical - has to feel that he's the one in control. Which is why I've made Simon appear so weak and ineffectual. But as I didn't get my trophy I'm going to try for something else because Yoda decides to work the weekend - both days!!

I receive:
Quote:
Well and in vain
I to understand all with you
It is a pity to you for me 200 even

I reply:
Quote:
Hi Honey!

What's a pity? I don't understand. Everyything's ok isn't it? I did what you told me to do except I've posted the money iinstead of sending it by WU. That doesn't make any difference does it?

Love you baby

Muffin XX

Quote:
So you to send what amount of money to me?

Quote:
You said the amount wasn't important. You said it could be anything you only wanted me to prove that I loved you and trusted you so I sent a £5 note to your address. I thought that sending £200 in cash would be a bit risky and foolish in case you never got the letter.
I'm going out for a drink to the pub now so hopefully you can think about my idea. I promise not to tell anyone - especially you know who! : )
And I promise I won't drink too much. : )
It really snowed here yesterday and the pavements are all slippery I don't want to fall over!! Hope I might see a message when I get back tonight. If not tace care baby and sweet dreams. I'll kiss your picture before I go to sleep.

Love Muffin X

Quote:
You at all did not read my letters
I do not have family

ha! She's sulking now.
Quote:
I'm sorry my angel. I didn't mean to make you sad.But surely you have uncles or aunts or grandparents? If you have nobody I fell very sad for you.

If you have no one I send even more love to you and say maybe it's even more important that we are together.

Muffin XX

And it's at this point I feel like I've really got to this Vlad. You know the character Herbert Lom plays in the Pink Panther films tormented by Clouseau and finally driven mad?
Quote:
To send me 200 pounds
And then I will go to you

It's like Yoda's just repeating the same phrase over whilst rocking gently back and forth! Time to push for my safari:
Quote:
Morning darling!

Hope you had a good weekend. but I'm confused. You asked me to send you money which I did. And a nice card. But you still want me to send you £200? But you already told me you don't need any money because you're rich?
And you haven't even mentioned my idea of coming to see you in russia. Wouldn't that be easier? I know the airports are closed at the moment so you can't come here and I can't come there but hopefully they will be open soon.
You know already that I'll do anything for you. I'm willing to make all the effort to see you. Why don't you want me to come to Russia?

I love you babe,

Muffin XXX

Come on Yoda! You're the one who made this mess with your bragging about how much money you earn and what fancy car you drive - So you're the one who's going to have to clean it up! On your knees and get scrubbing!

Love Phil X

_________________
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"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 2:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Crazy Yoda's back for more punishment!

Quote:
I to you have told that you to send to me 200
And you will tell what to do it
You to estimate me in 5 pounds of all?
You have last chance about NEW YEAR
You should send me exactly 200 pounds today
And at all it is less
Has understood


No. Simon No Understand. Time for Slap. Has Yoda Understood That?

Quote:
Well hello to you too darling! What's the matter with you? Are you on your period again? I never said you were worth £5 In fact I said you were worth everything I have. You're worth a million dollars baby. Don't forget it was you who said for me to send you whatever I wanted. Jesus! Make your mind up!!
Ok. You want me to send you EXACTLY £200. No more and no less. Then what happens? I really don't know what you're planning anymore. Do you even know yourself? You STILL haven't said anything about me coming to Russia. What games are you playing with me. If you can explain to me why or what you need £200 for then I'll send it. At the moment you're not making any sense.

Love Muffin XXXXXX


"Yoda must use brain. Yoda done himself out of money. Yoda more cleverer than Simon."

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
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TheL0neRanger
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 2:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I can't wait to see the howling when he, I mean "she", gets the poem. I would love to see her on cam when she, I mean he, reads it...

_________________
Spain x2
Closed lad accounts x3
Quote:
...seems that you dont want to help me out here to be with you ....U are just try to Stress me here ..... kate.mark

sir I want you to help me confuse john about sending this money trough western union of money Gram kate.mark
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Terror Mask
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 892
Location: Guiding my lads to Cthulhu's lair.


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 2:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Phil Yerboots wrote:
Crazy Yoda's back for more punishment!

Quote:
I to you have told that you to send to me 200
And you will tell what to do it
You to estimate me in 5 pounds of all?
You have last chance about NEW YEAR
You should send me exactly 200 pounds today
And at all it is less
Has understood


No. Simon No Understand. Time for Slap. Has Yoda Understood That?

Quote:
Well hello to you too darling! What's the matter with you? Are you on your period again? I never said you were worth £5 In fact I said you were worth everything I have. You're worth a million dollars baby. Don't forget it was you who said for me to send you whatever I wanted. Jesus! Make your mind up!!
Ok. You want me to send you EXACTLY £200. No more and no less. Then what happens? I really don't know what you're planning anymore. Do you even know yourself? You STILL haven't said anything about me coming to Russia. What games are you playing with me. If you can explain to me why or what you need £200 for then I'll send it. At the moment you're not making any sense.

Love Muffin XXXXXX


"Yoda must use brain. Yoda done himself out of money. Yoda more cleverer than Simon."

Love Phil X


Send Boris 200 of the old Italian Lira, they have the same currency symbols as pounds Very Happy

It worked once, why not twice? Very Happy

_________________
I'm always reforming, MWAHAHAHAHA!
-Official President of the Phil & Chrys Fan Club-


I GOT YOUR MAIL RIGHT NOW BUT THE PAYMENT SLIP THAT YOU SEND TO ME DID NOT SHOW ANY SIGNAL - Barr. St3v3 Mus4 4g4w4

.......i need to know cuz i like to do thing to pleased my self ok - John (or Frank) Smith.

FOOL I DON`T CARE HOW MUCH YOU MAKE IN 3 DAY. GOD GO PUNISH YOU LITTLE RAT. BEAST LIKE UR FATHER.... FUCK YOU AND FUCK UR FAMILY... U MOTHERFUCTHER (Barr. Michael Rich) Easter Egg 2011
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for the suggestion Terror! All's fair in love and ALL OUT WAR! as they say.

Yoda's had a think and…well…not come up with much really other than a rather pathetic "because you said you would" what is he 12?
Quote:
To send to me 200 it is simple so
In honour of your trust... After all you to trust me
You in general promised to send to me 800 and so till now not to send
So to send though 200 and then I will arrive to you soon
Your business.... You are not necessary to me in Russia, I wish to arrive to you
I was already got by Russia.... And I wish to leave from here for ever

I reply:
Quote:
Baby! Do you mean it? You want to leave russia forever? Does that mean what I think it means? Do you mean that you want to be with me forever too? What happens after you come to England? I thought it was for a holiday. Do you want to be with me? Like maybe even get married one day? is that what you mean?

Your very excited love Muffin XXX

Yoda had another think. And what a genius! He's thought about the time of year and what people spend money on, why I would spend money on him when he doen't need it……and of course!! By Jove he's got it!
Quote:
Simply give for me a gift on merry cristmas, I would like to buy
Good expensive sexual underwear, I can buy it on my money,
But very much it would be want to receive a gift from you. I in vain likely deceive myself
Thinking that you will make it for me, you only words

£200 for a present!! Yoda's trying it on. But who am I to say no. I love this Vlad.
Quote:
No! I understand! A christmas present. Why didn't you say so you silly girl!! Of course I'm getting you a gift.

Wow!! You have expensive tastes though my darling. I don't think I've ever spent so much on a Christmas present before - but you're worth it my angel.

I hope you'll be giving me something nice in return. : ))
Is it cheaper or better to get the expensive sexy underwear in Russia? Because if you prefer, I don't mind buying it here (I know you like red!! : )

Think I know the answer to that one already

Quote:
I wish to buy it here in Russia.... [surprise,surprise]We have good shops and I already
To choose to itself beautiful underwear.... So when you to send money for this purpose?
kisssssssssssssss

Ahhh that's nice. A lovely kisss at the end. Yoda wants paying.
Well I'm in no hurry:
Quote:
Oooo Ok baby! It's a lot for a present. I guess I could not buy Nigel anything this year. He'll understand. Before I spend that much though I would like to know what you'll be getting so I know that I'll like it. It would have to be pretty HOT I guess for that amount.

And what will I be getting from you for Christmas? Something special?

I send kisses to you too sweet baby

Muffin XXXXXX

Yoda starts to get impatient:

Quote:
You will be happy))) Only you go more likely and to send me 200 pounds!
Not to sit at home.... Go and send money right now... Ok


But he can sit and twiddle his thumbs for the rest of the evening:
Quote:
Honey. I know I'll be happy. I'm happy right now. You'll make me happier is what you mean. I can't send the money right now darling it's dark here and the roads and pavements are covered in snow and I could break my neck!
And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I said I was going to get you a merry christmas present and then didn't! That would be horrible! And I would never be horrible to you sweet. But if you want me to wu it then you'll have to wait until I can get to the shop.

And I mean it when I say I want to know what you'll be getting. I don't want you wasting my money on a white sports bra and matching support knickers set!! : )

Love Muffin XXX


This ain't over yet! Wink

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha! It isn't even over this evening. A unhappy Yoda gets a bit lippy:

Quote:
))))))))))) then to write when you will be ready to send money
I hope that tomorrow you will do it..... At us now-31 With
And you to speak me about what that snow???))) you to me are ridiculous
Time to you so it is difficult.... That not to go to send them
I not to write any more to you, not to see yet that you to send money
And while you not to write to me all data for reception of money
wait money
I have gone to sleep
I wait one more day that you could send money
And to send to me all data for reception of money
So give go and send money.... All in your hands


beating BIG SLAP required on that one I fear:

Quote:
Yeah but you're used to snow in russia we're not. It's chaos here. Don't you watch the news? And don't lie about going to bed it's only 9.45 there in russia.
It all seems to be a bit one-sided at the moment. I do everything you ask and all I get in return are orders! And you nagging me. And insulting me! I'm ridiculous now am I? Shall I add that to the other insults. Let's see. We've had
Moron
Ugly
Stupid
Smelly
Fuck Off
Ridiculous
Etc
etc
What kind of talk is that? Try "Oh thank you Muffin. That would be a really nice present. It's just what I wanted. I'm getting it specially for you etc etc. Have a happy Xmas"

I've heard about men who marry a Thai woman. Apparently they treat their men like Gods. They cook, they clean and they fuck like rabbits!
Now I'm not saying you have to go that far and I like you having your own personality. But you forget sometimes. I'm the man you're the girl AND I WANT A BIT OF RESPECT!!
If you start ordering me about telling me to go here and do that you won't get any Christmas present at all.

Learn some manners. You've upset me now. I want you to say sorry and mean it and then I'll think about going to the wu.

It's not in my hands darling you just made it very much in yours.

Muffin.


Wow! That got his attention:

Quote:
YOU WANT MY RESPECT?????????????????????????????????????
THEN GO AND TO DO THAT THAT YOU TO PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVE A WORK AND TO ME EARLY TO RISE TOMORROW IN DIFFERENCE FROM YOU
DO THAT YOU WANT..... YOU TO LOSE ME.... I WILL SEARCH FOR OTHER MAN
FAREWELL AND NOT TO WRITE TO ME IT IS MORE.... YOU THE FOOL AND TO LOSE ME
FUCK YOU


I didn't think I was being unreasonable!
Quote:
Well see. That's the kind of language I'm talking about. You don't get it do you? You must be stupid. Every time I go to do something nice for you start shouting and swearing.

All you had to be was nice and I'd have gone first thing tomorrow but you couldn't manage it could you.

One little word.

sorry.
Well darling it's up to you I've forgiven your rude nasty mouth in the past but I only have so much patience.

X

Hmm…wonder who'll crack first and say they're sorry in the morning? So we can give the merry-(and the not so merry)-go-round another push?
Probably me! Wink

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nope! I'm wrong again. Yoda cracks first and boy! Does he sound tired of this whole thing:

Quote:
Do that you want
Time for you it is a pity this money
Then I to understand in what business
Which you to regret all business in money for me
I have gone to sleep, if tomorrow you not to send money
Then not to write any more to me because I not to answer
bye.....HANDSOME MAN


Sweet!

I reply:
Quote:
Well ok baby. That's nicer. I like handsome man. And you are my beautiful orchid.

And you always will be. I hate it when we fight.

I love you XXX

Sheesh! Feels like we're married already!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha! Yoda must be psychic! She agrees with me. It IS like being married! And I LOVE my grovelling apology:

Quote:
Excuse me for my dirty mouth, you know we with you to swear as the husband and the wife)))
I do not wish to swear. I will wait tomorrow for your gift,
It was very valid for me pleasantly my Muffin,
Make to me pleasantly please I will it is happy.
I too love you, I really to go to sleep now.
I am very tired today [So tired. And almost broken]
Kiss you my love

Aint she just the darling thing! Fair breaks my heart to give her bad news. But I have a plan. She's gonna be one happy Vlad. Briefly Twisted Evil

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Terror Mask
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 892
Location: Guiding my lads to Cthulhu's lair.


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I shiver in anticipation. You're a wicked mind, Darth Phileus Twisted Evil

(Yeah, I know, I'm a hopeless geek Very Happy)

_________________
I'm always reforming, MWAHAHAHAHA!
-Official President of the Phil & Chrys Fan Club-


I GOT YOUR MAIL RIGHT NOW BUT THE PAYMENT SLIP THAT YOU SEND TO ME DID NOT SHOW ANY SIGNAL - Barr. St3v3 Mus4 4g4w4

.......i need to know cuz i like to do thing to pleased my self ok - John (or Frank) Smith.

FOOL I DON`T CARE HOW MUCH YOU MAKE IN 3 DAY. GOD GO PUNISH YOU LITTLE RAT. BEAST LIKE UR FATHER.... FUCK YOU AND FUCK UR FAMILY... U MOTHERFUCTHER (Barr. Michael Rich) Easter Egg 2011
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Jeannette
Distinctly Average


Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 2158
Location: Stalking Nick Riewoldt


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

bow_down

And Merry Christmas!

_________________
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Sister I was even filling the form with pains - Mariam Abacha
star
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ahh. Thanks Jeanette. Merry Xmas. I raise my glass to you! beers! And thanks too Terror! The Star Wars ref is much appreciated (IV - VI only) Wink

So. Today is the day Yoda can finally cash in and put this whole sorry saga behind him. I don't think it's even about the amount anymore he just wants to come out of this feeling like a winner.

I send him a message to make him happy:

Quote:
Morning Baby1

Hope y[ou slept well. I'm going to the shops this morning to get my Xm\s Turkey! And my sprouts! I don't supp;se you've ever had them have you? Delicious! But they make you fart!! : ))) Then afterwards I'm g.oing to the Wu to transfer your money so you should get that later today. Is it instant or does it take awhile? I don€t know but anyway. I'll send the details as soon as I have them.

I love you b>by!!! and send you big kisses

Your Muffin Man

XXX^x


Oh no! Seems there are some random characters in there. Of course they were fine when I typed them. Could my computer have some kind of bug? If it has I'm not aware of it. Could it get worse? Will I be able to read Yoda's messages properly? What if it makes the WU collection information hard to decipher? That would be awful!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Terror Mask
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 892
Location: Guiding my lads to Cthulhu's lair.


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

BTW, need a side baiter?
I'd gladly team up, since I have just one lovelad on the hook and it's rather biting its time Very Happy

_________________
I'm always reforming, MWAHAHAHAHA!
-Official President of the Phil & Chrys Fan Club-


I GOT YOUR MAIL RIGHT NOW BUT THE PAYMENT SLIP THAT YOU SEND TO ME DID NOT SHOW ANY SIGNAL - Barr. St3v3 Mus4 4g4w4

.......i need to know cuz i like to do thing to pleased my self ok - John (or Frank) Smith.

FOOL I DON`T CARE HOW MUCH YOU MAKE IN 3 DAY. GOD GO PUNISH YOU LITTLE RAT. BEAST LIKE UR FATHER.... FUCK YOU AND FUCK UR FAMILY... U MOTHERFUCTHER (Barr. Michael Rich) Easter Egg 2011
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TheL0neRanger
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It's the ILoveYoda virus! Oh no! It transliterates words and numbers!

_________________
Spain x2
Closed lad accounts x3
Quote:
...seems that you dont want to help me out here to be with you ....U are just try to Stress me here ..... kate.mark

sir I want you to help me confuse john about sending this money trough western union of money Gram kate.mark
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Terror! I'm flattered. I'll PM you in the New Year when I may have a go at another V/lad or this one if he's still willing!
You read my mind L0ne. Again!

But now my work is almost done…

Please excuse what may appears to be excessive leeting in the following mails but it was necessary. I send:

Quote:
Morning Baby1

Hope y[ou slept well. I'm going to the shops this morning to get my Xm\s Turkey! And my sprouts! I don't supp;se you've ever had them have you? Delicious! But they make you fart!! Smile)) Then afterwards I'm g.oing to the Wu to transfer your money so you should get that later today. Is it instant or does it take awhile? I don€t know but anyway. I'll send the details as soon as I have them.

I love you b>by!!! and send you big kisses

Your Muffin Man

XXX^x


Followed later by:
Quote:
Hi baby I'm back now and I sent you the money for your Christmas present. : ))
Shall € send you the details?

Love Muffin X

P.s A friend says my messag=s are coming out funny. Are yours OK?


And then the fun can start:
I get:
Quote:
I am very glad that you to send me money))) It so fine)))
I had a heavy day on work and I could not write)
But now I have come back home and is glad to see that you to send money)
So to write to me all data for reception of money
Name and surname of the sender
City
The country
mtcn
The exact sum
kissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Soon we will together))) hmmm

Ahh. A kisss and a Hmmm a Yoda double-helping!

Quote:
Welcome Hom= baby!

Put your feet up and have a nice glass of Vodka! : )) You€ve probably earned it!! I"ll get the details of the money off the form
and send th=m to you in the next email.

Now make sure you g?t something nice. I want you to buy a black, lacy, frilly basq=e and fishy stockings.
if there"s some money left over maybe some high=heeled shoes too?

Happy Xmas baby1

Muffin MaD XXXXX


I then send the transfer details with an MTCN that looks like this 2683&777¢0
And get a reply:
Quote:
To write me once again a code mtcn
And that to me has come here it is 2683&777ў0
And I not to understand what there figure
I wait right now

Followed by:
Quote:
wait you answer

I reply:
Quote:
Ok honey. I=m got problems wit€ my email. Iўll turn the computer off and start again.

XX


Quote:
I wait.... To write me normal code MTCN
Probably a problem with your computer [DUH. EINSTEIN]
But anything to restart it now and to write
To me a normal code


Quote:
Ok how about now?

This is a teste message for Maria

12345678910

Do the numbers come out ok?


Quote:
Yes now all is visible well)
Now to write me a normal code mtcn

But Houston we have a problem! Every time she resends the mail I send her the pasted mailer-daemon delivery notification with all it's header and codes. She tries four times. Very Happy
Then I get bored and send her one which says:
Quote:
SORRY THERE IS A SERVER PROBLEM

Delivery and outgoing messages from: [email]

have failed and are currently unavailable. This may be due to a high level of internet use. We will try to rectify this problem as soon as possible.

Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience.


And that my friends is that.
Or is it?
After all, Yoda's only missing two out of the 10 numbers required to get his money and there are only 72 combinations of 0 - 9.
Hopefully that'll keep him busy for the next day or so. Twisted Evil
I'll be back when the email's working Wink

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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TheL0neRanger
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh wait... the ILoveYoda virus has now seized control of your system and has made it into an emailing zombie. Start sending your lad some letters from your spam bin and putting random characters in those... as well as odd email with lots of numbers, maybe mixed up emails that look like MTCNs... but the email is corrupted with other emails. Smile

_________________
Spain x2
Closed lad accounts x3
Quote:
...seems that you dont want to help me out here to be with you ....U are just try to Stress me here ..... kate.mark

sir I want you to help me confuse john about sending this money trough western union of money Gram kate.mark
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 2:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for the suggestion L0ne! Thanks to all who have commented and read this bait - hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have.

There is a new message from Yoda:

Quote:
?????????????????????????


And I kind of like the fact that he hasn't got a clue. For the time being I'm going to leave him in Limbo*. Always wondering what happened, where it all went wrong and (hopefully after many attempts) why that elusive MCTN number won't work.

It's time to enjoy the holiday. He won't. I will. And I hope you all do too.

Love Phil X

* for those who know their Dante, Yoda is destined for the eighth level of Hell where snakes and lizards will bite him and transform him into a grotesque inhuman monster. However, as he's already fulfilled that criteria he can join me down here in the Ninth and last level. There's someone very eager to meet him. Wink

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Terror Mask
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 892
Location: Guiding my lads to Cthulhu's lair.


PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 2:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Who he will replace of the three? Wink
Or a certain someone has grown a fourth mouth? Very Happy

_________________
I'm always reforming, MWAHAHAHAHA!
-Official President of the Phil & Chrys Fan Club-


I GOT YOUR MAIL RIGHT NOW BUT THE PAYMENT SLIP THAT YOU SEND TO ME DID NOT SHOW ANY SIGNAL - Barr. St3v3 Mus4 4g4w4

.......i need to know cuz i like to do thing to pleased my self ok - John (or Frank) Smith.

FOOL I DON`T CARE HOW MUCH YOU MAKE IN 3 DAY. GOD GO PUNISH YOU LITTLE RAT. BEAST LIKE UR FATHER.... FUCK YOU AND FUCK UR FAMILY... U MOTHERFUCTHER (Barr. Michael Rich) Easter Egg 2011
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joseywales
Master Baiter


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 170
Location: Formally Missouri, now Texas


PostPosted: Thu Dec 23, 2010 6:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Again, great bait. clapping - she just won't leave it alone knowing that maybe money might come her way. in some of her answers that I read of your bait, it's like she (HE) has someone coaching him with new replies to send you. one minute she is bitching and the next, it's like a different person answering (or getting suggestions from someone to answer you back?). Shocked

_________________
you pizdabol
you suka
I HATE YOU!!!!!
YOU The Latest creature!!!!!
YOU The Mongrel!!!
KISS ME IN THE ASS!!! ; from sweet Elena






Closed lad accounts
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Happy 2011 Baiters! Hope you all had a great holiday. Yoda sent me a couple of emails before Xmas:

Quote:
And you will be silent?)

followed by:
Quote:
bye

And you know how it is. I just couldn't resist poking my favourite Vlad with a stick:

Quote:
Hi my baby orchid!!

Oh god what a nightmare. My email went strange and then my laptop died and took everything with it. I had to buy a new computer and I can't get back into my google account because it thinks I'm someone else so I've set up this new email. Oh baby I'm so sad I lost ALL your lovely photos and letters and I didn't know your email but fortunately I found it written down on a piece of paper.

Are you OK baby? If you have been writing to me I havent got your letters or photos I hope you have'nt thought I had forgotton you and I hope you haven't forgotton me. I have missed you my sweet angel. I am mad with worry that you have found someone else. PLEASE let me know that you are Ok and still want me.

I still love you more than anything in the world.

Your Muffin forever XX

If Yoda answers I wonder how long before the missing money's mentioned? Unfortunately, the WU receipt got thrown out with the Xmas wrapping paper. Maybe this time she'll see the advantage of a direct bank transfer? Wink

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Terror Mask
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 892
Location: Guiding my lads to Cthulhu's lair.


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ah, so it still lives in R'Lyeh (or Mari El) Very Happy

Glad to see you dragging Yoda in 2011, Phil! Very Happy

On a side note, vlad seems pretty much unconvinced now.
Better squeeze it for all it's worth before the star collapses, if you catch my drift Wink

_________________
I'm always reforming, MWAHAHAHAHA!
-Official President of the Phil & Chrys Fan Club-


I GOT YOUR MAIL RIGHT NOW BUT THE PAYMENT SLIP THAT YOU SEND TO ME DID NOT SHOW ANY SIGNAL - Barr. St3v3 Mus4 4g4w4

.......i need to know cuz i like to do thing to pleased my self ok - John (or Frank) Smith.

FOOL I DON`T CARE HOW MUCH YOU MAKE IN 3 DAY. GOD GO PUNISH YOU LITTLE RAT. BEAST LIKE UR FATHER.... FUCK YOU AND FUCK UR FAMILY... U MOTHERFUCTHER (Barr. Michael Rich) Easter Egg 2011
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 1:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Terror! Yes, Yoda now dwells in the slimy caverns and is obviously hurt by the whole sorry experience. I receive this:

Quote:
Do not write to me more
You have put into me list Scamers


This is true - but I play dumb:

Quote:
Hi darling.

So good to know you're ok and still at this email address. Why don't you want me to write to you? What's scamers list? I've never heard of it.

Did you have a good Xmas? Mine was ok but I've got some great news I start a new job next week. I'm the asssistant area controller for an insurance company. A bit boring but the money is good. How's your clothing business? I hope all the russian ladies shopped there!

Your Muffin man X


Yoda's a bit miffed and sends:

Quote:
You should understand all!!!!!!!


I reply:

Quote:
Sweet darling this isn't the reunion with you that I was expecting. What should I understand? what's happened? If anyone has hurt you or done anything to you I swear I'll do time. I'll go to prison. There better not be ANYONE who has upset my little orchid.

XX

Don't think I'll get much more than monosyllabic replies but I'll keep poking!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yay!! Yoda wants to start again! She thinks I posted her details at scamwarners, knows I am useless at giving her money but still sends this:

Quote:
You will write when will be ready to send money
After all you already to send them as to speak
But easier not to write me a code mtcn


I'm so glad she's dumb enough to put herself through my wringer again.
Wash, rinse, repeat, one more squeeze and then hang out to dry!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
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