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 Yoda talks dirty (NSFW)

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The Vlad is VERY angry and I get a new line for my siggy!!

Quote:
Farewell
Not to write any more to me it is more
Go in asssssssssssssss with the problems
The smelly mongrel you
fuck you


Ha! Yoda's asss is getting as long as his kisss

I'm distraught:
Quote:
Honey! That's enough!! I know you're disappointed but there's no need to be rude.

Do you want me to get the overdraft or not? You've waited this long surely you can wait a bit longer?

Don't throw our love away!!!

Muffin XX


He's not making sense:
Quote:
You the moron
Write to other maids has understood
Thrust to itself in as the credit card
The deceiver


I need to know where I stand:
Quote:
Darling, what does thrust to itself in as the credit card mean?

I haven't got a credit card. Do you want me to get one instead of an overdraft because a credit card application takes ages. You would have to wait even longer and surely you don't want that. And I haven't deceived anyone. I'm the one who has done everything I can. All you've done is sit at home waiting and then go on holiday with your girlfriend.

Muffin X

Will he be back for more? I sure hope so!

Love Phil X

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Morgain Le Fay
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Joined: 14 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Image

Waiting for the next installment!

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 5:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, Morgain, you didn't have to wait long! Put some more HOT butter on that popcorn… Smile

Aahhh…Yoda's sulking and like a petulant teenager can only talk in short sentences:

Quote:
Yoda: You to have 100 pounds now?

Me: I can get it darling. What do you want me to do?

I do really love you you know. Despite what your other girlfriends might say about me.

muffin XX

Yoda: To send me you a photo [Vlad's only just realised he's never even had a picture of me- must be going through his archived mail! - but I'm playing dumb for a bit.]

Me: Sorry darling do you mean you're sending me a photo?


Me: Or you want me to send YOU a photo?

I'm not sure. Either way I'm happy to do whatever. You just tell me.

Love you honey

XXX Muffin


Me: not sure if this is what you mean but I don't want to lose you.

I don't know what I'd do without you babe. I feel terrible. But think about it. It's not my fault!!! The world is against me. And now you are too? I can't believe it.

from Muffin XXX


I send some godawful clipart frog on a lilypad saying "I'm so sorry please forgive me. A pic of a bald middle aged man which I again take from the screen with my mobile phone and a clipart sparkly heart with I love you in the middle.

And that Vlad thinks I don't work? Come on Yoda. Give me one more chance. Listen to my pathetic pleas. You know you want to. Wink

Love Phil X

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joseywales
Master Baiter


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 170
Location: Formally Missouri, now Texas


PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 6:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You're hurt. you thought she wanted you and not your money. seems the money is her real intent. work that with her and play on the "poor me and my feelings". you now have that loan for the full amount but you have great concerns where her heart is - your money or you Twisted Evil still a great bait and it's still leaving her wondering if she can get money from you or not after spending so much time and effort trying to scam you. I don't think she'll give up yet. banghead she's got to be frustrated at this point.

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Phil Yerboots
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well this bait was over.

I sent this:

Quote:
Well darling just thought you'd like to know that the insurance company have agreed with the police that my car was stolen and it was fraud and they're giving me a cheque for the full value of the car which was £3000.

So I could have helped you out after all. Not that you're interested of course because it's obvious that you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you because you don't write to me anymore.

If you are breaking up with me please have the heart to tell me because I don't want to always be thinking about you.

Love Muffin XX


Yoda replies:

Quote:
When you to send money to me then we will talk
To clearly you or not


so I decided to try a different tactic just to wrest the last bit of juice from this lemon.

The following exchange does contain one reference to a sexual act (unsurprisingly Rolling Eyes )

Quote:
dear Maria,

Oh I see it very clearly. That's like when a prostitute says leave the money on the table. I thought you said that you weren't a whore?

You've changed since you went away on your trip with your girlfriend. What did you do go to Moscow and do lap dances for all the ugly old men? I bet you got paid extra for sucking their cocks too.

Oh and by the way. I started writing to my old girlfriend Lidlya in Yoshkar when you stopped writing and were so nasty to me and she was very pleased to hear from me and she says she wants to come to England for Xmas. So who knows? Maybe I should help her out instead?

I'll leave it up to you.


She replies:

Quote:
Do that you want
You the ugly moron
Here also write to the whore from Yoshkar
I the best and at me am many money
I the rich girl, am simple I to check you on your trust
Here also think itself that you have lost, I have some apartments and expensive car
For 30 thousand Euro and you the smelly moron to regret for me only 800 pounds


practically admitting dishonesty?

Then I get:
Quote:
))))))))))))))))))))))


I think this is supposed to be laughing at me.

My reply? A mix of goading her into admitting the scam and a philosophical question.

Quote:
Darling,

There's no need to lie. I don't care that you're poor just like you shouldn't care that I only make - well, used to make £21000 a year but now am unemployed. i know I'll get a new job in the New Year.

You haven't got money and a fancy car because if you did you wouldn't have had to come crawling on your hands and knees to me to ask for money like a beggar.

So let's stop playing games an calling each other names. And i'll ask you seriously. What do you really want?

M x

Let's see if we can mess with the vlad's head just a liiiittle bit longer. After all we are still talking! Very Happy

Love Phil X

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha!! Yoda's caved in and still thinks there's a chance of a crock of gold at the end of this long rainbow instead of the crock of shit she'll actually receive.

I get this:

Quote:
I want that you to send to me of 800 pounds how to promise
After all you the man also should do the promised things
And in vain you to think that I the poor girl, all is simple
My money is interesting, and yes I have car AUDI A8 (2007) [typical man - bragging about his car]
I to search for such person as you, and you have appeared the deceiver
So if you to fulfil the promises and to send to me 800
Then I will go to you.... And you will see what I rich


So, obviously confused as to why she needs the money when she already told me she is rich I send this in hope of my first trophy pic. May as well aim high!

Quote:
Hi Orchid.

Look. I'm glad we're not fighting anymore and to be honest although Lidleya is a nice girl she's just not as exciting as you!! You and I have got a very fiery relationship - one minute you call me a great man, the next you call me a moron. One minute I say that you are beautiful and kind and the next you're an ugly cheating whore! I know that neither of us mean these things it's all part of being a couple.

Tell me if I have this correct. You don't actually need my money because you have enough of your own. It's more of a matter of promises and trust. If I send the money then that shows you can trust me and then what? when you come over to England you will give it back to me? Or some of it back because I don't mind helping with your travel costs. If this is true. If this is what you will promise to do then I will prove to you how much I trust YOU by letting you have the whole amount of the car - £3000. Will THEN you see that I am serious in my love for you?

But before I do I would expect to be able to trust you. My friend Nigel from the pub who I have talked to about us says that I should be careful about internet girls. He says that sometimes the pictures that they send are from years ago and that they are older or fatter than their photos. He thinks he knows everything! : ) But to be honest, baby I wouldn't care. I fell in love with you - not your photo. But it would put my mind at rest if I could see a photo of you that I know is recent. The best way to do this that I can think of would be if you were holding a piece of paper or something with my name on and a cheeky/sexy message like you used to send to me. What about "Sim0n Saiz - Mmmm eat me!" : ) I always like how you say Mmmmm and Kissss in your letters!

That way we both know that we can trust each other - that way you can have the money - and that way we can be together and live the rest of our lives in happiness.

I really do love you very much my Wild orchid.

Your Muffin Man XXXXX


I know this Vlad will try to worm out of it but maybe that 3000 lb carrot will prove too tempting? Still whatever happens looks like we'll make our 3 month anniversary in a couple of days time and isn't that sweet? Wink

Love Phil X

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yoda is OUTRAGED that I would question her integrity. Here comes the CAPS LOCK:

Quote:
I WILL NOT SEND YOU ANY PHOTOS, CONCERNING YOUR TRUST TO ME
I TO HATE PEOPLE WHICH TO ME NOT TO TRUST, SO IF YOU NOT TO TRUST ME
THEN DO NOT SEND MONEY IF YOU TO SEND TO ME 3000 AS YOU AND TO SPEAK
THEN I WILL SEE YOUR NOBLENESS BOTH YOUR ATTENTION AND HONESTY
YOUR MONEY IS NOT NECESSARY TO ME, AND I WILL GIVE THEM WHEN I WILL ARRIVE, BUT NOW
IF YOU TO SEND THEM YOU WILL NOT REGRET ABOUT IT NEVER MORE
BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE THE BIGGEST TREASURE IS I TREASURE
AND STILL, TO SEND IN ASSSS THE FRIEND WHO IS SPOKEN THAT BY ME THICK OR
NOT BEAUTIFUL, [well, I don't think Nigel deserves that! He was only concerned for my well-being]
ALL MY PHOTOS NEW AND FRESH..... [if you call 2007 fresh]
BUT TO SEND WHAT THAT
I WILL NOT SEND THE PROOF.... SO THINK THAT TO YOU TO DO
AT YOU IS STILL COUPLE OF DAYS TO PROVE THE ATTENTION AND THE
TRUST TO ME.... SO WHEN YOU TO SEND TO ME THESE 3000
PROVE THAT YOU REALLY WISH TO BE WITH ME
AFTER ALL YOU THE MAN ALSO SHOULD ACHIEVE THE WOMAN

I reply:
Quote:
Hang on sweetheart. No need to get angry. It's a lot of money and I know that you're a treasure absolutely. You're very special. But it's not like I asked you to do anything difficult. And yeah Nigel my friend can be a bit of an idiot sometimes but he makes a good point. I know you're not thick and I know you're beautiful. I'm just asking for a a bit of trust on your side just as you expect the trust on my side - that seems fair to me. I'm going to prove I want to be with you and I think you should do the same.

I hope you can agree that this is what people in love would do for each other. You do still want to be with me don't you?

Love Muffin XX

Poor Yoda. So frustrated. Thinking "he keeps saying he'll send money but never does. Maybe this time he will. Maybe it's worth the effort. Maybe he is just an incompetent moron with extremely bad luck."
Come on Yoda!! Let's take this tragic tale of two lovers never destined to meet into the final chapter where one gets to live unhappily ever after and one gets assss whipped and it turns out it's the same one!

Love Phil X

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Jeannette
Distinctly Average


Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 2158
Location: Stalking Nick Riewoldt


PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

There should be a special hourglass for vlad baits; I think yours is an absolute record. clapping clapping clapping

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 1:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Jeanette! The strange thing about this bait is that it seems to have been written on a Möbius strip.

SEND ME MONEY!
Ok
WHERE IS MONEY?
Sorry
SEND MONEY OR I GO!
I will send money
OK I STAY
Mmmmmmmmmmmm
WHERE IS MONEY?
Sorry
SEND ME MONEY!

And so on…

Here's the latest:
Quote:
I TO YOU TO TELL THAT TO SEND NOTHING TO YOU
WHAT DO YOU WANT??? YOU AGAIN BECAME STUPID THAT-WHETHER?
YES I THE SEVERE GIRL, BUT MY LIFE WAS SUCH DIFFICULT
WHAT YOU TO HESITATE? YOU WISH TO LOSE ME?

Followed by:
Quote:
I TO GIVE YOU LAST CHANCE
1. YOU GO TODAY AND TO SEND TO ME 3000
2. YOU NOT TO SEND, BUT YOU WILL NOT SEE FROM ME ANY LINE MORE

I replied:
Quote:
No darling. I do not wish to lose you. But you obviously wish to lose me. I make a small, simple request and you get mad.

I have proved my serious intentions, time and time again. Every time you have asked me to do something I have done it. I went to the Wu. I sold my car. I have sent you photos to prove everything. I have said I will trust you with everything I have but it seems this isn't enough?

You keep changing your mind about me. One minute you're hot, one minute you're cold, one minute you love me, one minute you tell me to fuck off. How do I know you won't do the same once you receive the money? Look at it from my point of view. I've always been the same. Always loved you no matter what hurtful things you have said about me. I'm ugly. I'm a moron. I'm a loser. What better proof of MY love that I am still writing to you after all those insults? Where is your proof?

I would send the money RIGHT NOW if I knew for sure that you wouldn't just throw it back in my face. I don't know. You make me so confused. I'll leave the decision up to you.

Still, with much love,

Muffin XXXX

And you know what? I don't think I will hear anything else. Until tomorrow or the next day when I say "Ok. I will send money" and the whole sorry shebang starts again! This Vlad has some serious control issues. Maybe he's still smarting from his invitation for me to visit through the back porch! Wink

Love Phil X

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 2:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Shows how much I know. Yoda can't help herself:

Quote:
SEND MONEY AND TO PROVE ME THE INTENTIONS BY IT
OR NOT TO WRITE TO ME IT IS MORE NEVER, YOU TO DECEIVE TOO MUCH
ME THE LETTERS, ALSO WHAT YOU WANT NOW FROM ME???
YOU YOU SHOULD ME SHOW AND AGAIN SHOW THE TRUST
INSTEAD OF I OWE YOU SOMETHING.... SO DO CONCLUSIONS
NOT TO WRITE TO ME WHILE YOU NOT TO SEND MONEY
ALL WHILE

I reply:
Quote:
Baby!! Come on. You know that the more you protest the worse it looks.

I PROMISE ON MY MOTHER"S LIFE [it's ok. She's dead and would have approved anyway] that I love you and want to be with you and will send the money. What else do you want me to say? But I'm not sending it until I know how you really feel about me. You could come all the way to England decide that you don't like me and then go off with someone else. I would never do anything to hurt you but now I'm not so sure that you wouldn't hurt me.

your muffin forever XX


I receive:
Quote:
Then farewell
Do that you want further
I not to trust you it is more
In your trust
Farewell

Followed by:
Quote:
Then you simply spend for nothing time
You can communicate with other girls
But you will not have me [Oh but I already have!]

Followed by:
Quote:
But if nevertheless you to trust me and to help
Then you will see that world which you waits
That of what you dreamt... Not to miss happiness
I not to send you anything that you ask
Because I fair and here you was not present
And to prove something I never I will be you
bye for now

I decide to have a break too (and see who breaks first)

Quote:
Sweet darling. Your words are soft and kind once again. I'm sorry that it sounds like I don't believe you. I DO.

It's just that the world is a cruel place. I should know after what's happened to me these past few weeks. And trust is a hard thing to come by. There are so many people out there who are greedy and mean. I know you aren't one of them.

I will think about what you have said but PLEASE will you think about what I have said and asked too? It is so very little to achieve so very much!

You make me all poetic! I love you sweetheart

bye for now too.

Muffin XXXX

I'll contact her again on our anniversary. Very Happy

Love Phil X

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Blimey! I thought Yoda would last out longer than this. She cracks after an hour! and sends this:

Quote:
Here also think
I am done not excited with your past
I am glad that you to consider me another
Not such as all.... But to send you something
I will not be... Any photos... Proofs
You wish to be with me then be the man
And to be able to make true decisions

I have to reply (our email exchanges have just tipped the 300 mark and I fancy going for 350 not out)

I send:
Quote:
Darling,

I made my decision a long time ago Almost from your first letters to me. You were funny, sexy, loving and exciting. I've always known you were the one. I think it's you who aren't so sure.

with all my heart and love,

Muffin XX

heh heh. I have the feeling this Vlad's got an itch he just can't scratch. And that expensive ointment is what he wants even though he suspects he won't get it. Come on Yoda - piece of paper, message, friend who looks vaguely like the girl from 2007 - or just you in a dress with your face covered - photo - send. It really couldn't be easier! Wink

Love Phil X

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joseywales
Master Baiter


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 170
Location: Formally Missouri, now Texas


PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

She just can't let you have the last word, she'll be back. Christmas is too close for her to lose the money that she says she doesn't need. - so funny what you did to her (or him) - now she'll wonder "what happened?" where did she go wrong. she almost had your money. that's how I like to see them. "MAD" but wondering why it didn't work after all this time and emails. bow_down bow_down Great Bait

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you pizdabol
you suka
I HATE YOU!!!!!
YOU The Latest creature!!!!!
YOU The Mongrel!!!
KISS ME IN THE ASS!!! ; from sweet Elena






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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha! You're right Josey. I think this one's gnawing away at her.

This morning I receive the poignant and heartbreaking:
Quote:
bye


Yup. That's it. All of it. After everything we've been through. Seems pretty final. I decide to call Yoda's bluff and reply:
Quote:
Ok darling. That's your decision and although it makes me incredibly sad, I respect it, I respect you and I will always have a place in my heart for you if you change your mind.

Muffin XXX

Within half an hour she sends:
Quote:
You the fool, time do not wish to prove to me that you the man which
To fulfil the promises, you only to deceive me
Show me the trust and to send money simply so
You all the same will lose nothing, because I to you to return them when I will arrive
So think, or all time you will regret for that that listened to the friend
Which probably not so clever and same lonely as well as you

And I was really tempted to reply but you know what? Let him sweat. Let him think that by saying "bye" he's ruined it. I'll wait until tomorrow when I send the anniversary letter and act surprised that the mail above was there at all after he'd sent such an emphatic farewell.

V/lad - first we make 'em glad, then we make 'em mad, then we make 'em sad and then we make 'em had! Smile

Love Phil X

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well here we still are 3 months later. I don't think I'll be getting my trophy but hey ho! This Vlad's still on the hook.

First I sent this:
Quote:
Happy Anniversary darling. It was 3 months ago today that you wrote to me and changed my life.

With all my love,

Muffin XX
and an attachment with some awful hearts and flowers card off the web.

But reply came their none.
Sent this the following day:
Quote:
Hi honey.

I guess it's over then. You didn't even wish me a happy anniversary.
I bet Nigel £20 that you would send me a picture or a greeting and he said you wouldn't so I guess he wins. I told him I was going to send the money because I know you and you are honest and you say you'll only spend as much as you need to pay for your travel but he said I shouldn't because to Russian people £3000 is like a year's wages or something and even honest people could get greedy.
He made me promise not to send anything until I know for sure and that you not sending the photo shows that I should forget you.

But I never will forget you my wild orchid. I'll always think of you when I look at a flower that's growing by the side of the road. Maybe I'll wait for you on the road and one day you'll come driving by in your audi car and give me a lift. And we'll drive off a cliff together like in that film.

Your Muffin XX

Yoda couldn't resist the notion that the imaginary Nigel could be so dismissive of the Russian economy!
Quote:
Well you already to lose the 20 pounds because of me))
It you so to estimate me? So it is cheap and so it is wrong
I to have every month approximately 3-5 thousand EURO [yeah and we know how you earn it ya dirty rat!]so your friend
To think incorrectly of me.... You think at all of us such poor what to earn
3000 pounds for the whole year..... To me it is ridiculous.... I not the silly girl... I have a network
Firm salons of clothes and I am good to earn[thought you were a stripper? Now you're a haberdasher!? Confused] .... But I do not have that only thing
And the most favourite with which I can embody the dreams in a reality
To you ridiculously to read it from the silly Russian girl...)) smile.... Also do that
Orders to do to you your heart... Do not listen to anybody.... Not to listen to anything....
With me you will be the happiest person, but you should prove to me
The trust... And even it is more, I will not prove anything
If you did not like me that I not to write to you absolutely.... And you so to write to me
You are a pity that to think of me so badly, that I not the fair


I think that's a lovely letter. And shows hopefully that I can squeeze this vlad dry. Now if I could just think of plausible ways to spin it out until the New Year! Wink

Love Phil X

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TheL0neRanger
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Who says you need plausible?!

Quote:
With me you will be the happiest person, but you should prove to me
The trust... And even it is more, I will not prove anything
If you did not like me that I not to write to you absolutely.... And you so to write to me
You are a pity that to think of me so badly, that I not the fair


That's a challenge and if you keep poking him on the National pride issue...

... or maybe Nigel himself will write to your vlad?

It's worth a try.

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Quote:
...seems that you dont want to help me out here to be with you ....U are just try to Stress me here ..... kate.mark

sir I want you to help me confuse john about sending this money trough western union of money Gram kate.mark
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha! You're right L0ne it is a challenge but fortunately for me in the following exchange Yoda provides his own pain !! Twisted Evil oh and NSFW I mention anal sex AGAIN Rolling Eyes

I sent this:
Quote:
Hi sweetheart!
Yeah I lost £20 pounds to Nigel who is now a very smug bastard because you didn't reply and didn't send a photo but I forgive you because you've written to me now and that makes me very happy : ))

And take no notice of Nigel he talks out of his asss! Smile) I know people in russia earn more than 3000 - that's how they buy our football teams!! Ha ha Smile)

Wow! You never told me about the network of clothes salons you run. What are they called? Is it just ordinary ladies clothes? Do they sell underwear? Red underwear? Red silky underwear like maybe you're wearing at the moment? ha ha Smile)

I love you my silly russian girl Smile) You are right. I'm not going to listen to anybody else. Just you. Look how happy you make me with all the smile faces in this letter Smile)

So happy anniversary again. let's put the past behind us let's start from the beginning and think only of our future together the happiest most wonderful future in the world!! Smile)

Write soon my darling. Write to me like you used to do with your words of love and I'll tell Nigel to go in his assss!! Smile)

Your Muffin forever and ever XXX

And received this:
Quote:
Yes ROMAN ABROMOVICH to buy your soccer team)))
And I am glad that you the nobility about it)) Not all in Russia poor people
I wish to arrive to you, but you at first should send me money
Well if you cannot send me 3000 pounds then go and
Directly today to send me 200 pounds though it and is a little, but nevertheless
I will know that you to trust me..... My data are at you.... So if
You wish to begin anew all.... Then go and to send money
After all at you so it is a lot of free time, after all you not to work
If you to send me 200 that tomorrow I will leave to you
So I work more likely, my network of shops from D&G beautiful things

Followed by this:

Quote:
Your money is not necessary to me
I should know that you to trust me
In it all business
At me it is a lot of money, but there is no happiness
And happiness not to buy for money (I to assure you)
So go and to prove me now that that you to trust me
To send to me 200, they at you are I know

Thanks Yoda! You just handed it to me on a plate. It's all just for show. Muffin has a revelation and sees everything clearly.
Quote:
Hi Baby!! So glad to receive your letters and to see that you are happy for both of us to start fresh.

I'm glad that we're all sorted and I'm glad that your business is doing well. D&G isn't that dolcce and gabana? I've heard of them. Wow!! no wonder you have all those apartments and fancy cars.
But you are SO right. Money does not bring happiness. In fact sometimes it only brings misery.
I guess at the beginning you didn't want to say anything because you were frightened I would only want you for your money and the bit about you being a stripper was a story to make sure that I wasn't someone who would judge you or think that you were a slut.

I see. It all makes sense now. You've been testing me to see if I'm the right person to share your life and all the money you have. Have I passed the test? I hope so. I know I might have made some mistakes along the way but I hope the fact that we're still talking shows that I must have done something right.

Yes! I see now. That's why you say it doesn't matter if I send you £3000 or £800 or £200 it's not important. I could just send you £1 and it would be the same as if I had sent you £3000. It's not about the amount of money it's about the trust.
Oh baby you're so clever. I bet you don't even go to an internet cafe to send emails. I bet you have your own fancy laptop! Ha. : ))
Darling you have well and truly tricked me. My friend Nigel of course would say that you've been lying to me all along but I don't think you have. I can see why you wouldn't tell me the truth and I understand. In fact, I think I love you even more. You are beautiful, you have your own business, you have money and success, you are intelligent and funny and you love sex!
I suppose that's why as a powerful woman you want to be fucked in the ass by a powerful man. Because when you do business you're usually the one fucking the men in the ass! Smile)

Love you baby!!

Muffin XXX

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TheL0neRanger
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Awww... ain't love... er... vlad/lad greed grand?!? Laughing Twisted Evil

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Quote:
...seems that you dont want to help me out here to be with you ....U are just try to Stress me here ..... kate.mark

sir I want you to help me confuse john about sending this money trough western union of money Gram kate.mark
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It sure is L0ne, it sure is…

I'm back in Yoda's good books!
Quote:
You correctly to write all) the clear head)
Whether but you not to tell to send you to me 200
You have these 200.... Why you not to send them today


I reply:
Quote:
Don't you fret my darling.

I'm sending you the money as a symbol of our trust today. I'll do it when I go out later to get some milk.

I'm very pleased your in my life. Ha! I'm looking at one of your photos right now on my computer. It's the one where you're on the bed?

Baby you're giving me a "trouser-tent" right now!! : )

muffin XX

And I get the sweetest letter in a long time. True it's mainly about the money but…
Quote:
I am glad that you to trust me) and is glad that you to go to send money)
Do not forget to write to me all data for reception of money... I will wait
Do not drink cold milk, and that at you to be ill a throat, send to me so much money
On how many you to estimate me, can send and more if want
I will give you all all the same when I will arrive
kisssssssssssss

Yoda's worried about my health! And gives me a kissss!
I send:
Quote:
Thanks baby! I'll be careful an wrap up warm. It's cold an wet today.

You look lovely as always in your photo although I already have that one in my collection. It won't be long before I see the real thing!

I'm thinking of you and wondering what underwear you have on today

your Muffin XX

And Yoda sweetly sends me his last scam photo for my scamwarners set!
Quote:
I have gone I will go on a visit to one my good girlfriend! I will arrive home through
3-4 hours, also hope that in a current of this time you already to send money and to write
To me all data for reception of money..... ok
Here to you still a photo)))
Kissssssssssss
All I have left

So I'm happy with that. Very Happy Twisted Evil Don't think Yoda's going to be too pleased when he finds there's no money though. banghead boxer

Love Phil X

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joseywales
Master Baiter


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 170
Location: Formally Missouri, now Texas


PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh No!. You were on your way back from western onion after sending her money and hit by a bus. of course you had to walk to the western onion since you don't have a car anymore. your friend Nigel writes to her to tell her the news. you're in a semi-coma and keep saying her name. maybe Nigel has the paperwork from W.U or maybe it is mixed up in all your clothes when they cut them off you after your accident. Twisted Evil

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you suka
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YOU The Latest creature!!!!!
YOU The Mongrel!!!
KISS ME IN THE ASS!!! ; from sweet Elena






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Jeannette
Distinctly Average


Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 2158
Location: Stalking Nick Riewoldt


PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 7:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Of course, Western Onion employees don't work overtime. And tomorrow there is an interview with the job centre which you must not miss to receive your first dole payment $$$$$

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha! Great ideas Josey & Jeanette! And definite possibilities should this bait continue. Unfortunately I didn't get the CAPS LOCK rant I was hoping for just a terse:
Quote:
bye

which kind of speaks volumes in itself. I like to think that Yoda was very tight-lipped when he wrote it. But I ignore this and blithely carry on as if nothing is amiss:
Quote:
Morning Darling!

I sent you the money last night and put a little extra gift in too!

And I didn't drink the cold milk like you told me to : )

Hope all is well with you and that you had a lovely time at your girlfriends.

Love Muffin X

Of course the well-meaning but essentially dim Simon has done what he thinks was right - and it's Yoda's fault that it's wrong! Yoda said she doesn't need the money it's just a symbol of trust and that the amount was unimportant.
So Simon bought his milk - being careful not to drink it cold - and went to the WU. Do you know how much they wanted to charge him for sending a symbolic £5? £4.90!! Well, that's just a rip-off. So I've posted her a £5 note and a lovely card to the address she gave me (no I haven't). I think she'll appreciate the personal touch don't you? Wink

Love Phil X

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yoda asks very succinctly:
Quote:
To send data for reception

I reply:
Quote:
Morning baby!!

How are you? I'm very happy!! because you make me that way!
I went to the WU yesterday and they told me it would cost £4.90 even if I wanted to send £1!! What a con! I think that's outrageous don't you? So I put a £5 note in a lovely big card and sent it to your address. I hope it fits in the letterbox! : ) I also wrote you a poem about how I feel about you so I think that will be much nicer and a more personal way of showing you how much I love you.
I sent it first class so you should get it soon.

Make sure you haven't lost your passport! Can't wait to see you!

Love Muffin XXXXXXX

No answer yet but I like to think this is what he looks like Shocked as he stares at his reflection on the screen.

Love Phil X

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"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 1:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sorry Yoda but I can't help twisting the knife:

Quote:
Oh baby I forgot!
You don't need to give the £5 back to me. You can keep it!

Lots of love Muffin XXX


Twisted Evil Love Phil X

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TheL0neRanger
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 2:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And the poem said.... Question Question Question Question

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Quote:
...seems that you dont want to help me out here to be with you ....U are just try to Stress me here ..... kate.mark

sir I want you to help me confuse john about sending this money trough western union of money Gram kate.mark
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, L0ne, that's a good question. What would this non-existent poem sent by the fictious Simon in an imaginary card to the fantastic and fabulous Yoda (in their true sense of fantasy and fable) look like?

I hope it would encapsulate the deeper philosophical questions of what is truth? What is honesty? What is love?
And might have gone something like this:

Oh Wild Orchid
Whom no man can tame
Your real name's Maria
If that is your name.
It's more likely Dimitri
Or Yuri Gagarin
But whatever it is
In this bait you are starring.
You've given us laughs
On the old Eater forum
Your sexy talk, WU requests
We just adore 'em!
But now it would seem
All this Vlad Gold must pass
So, farewell from Phil
"Write no more. Go in asssssssss!"

Love Muffin X

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"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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