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 Yoda talks dirty (NSFW)

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 1:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My mistake. The Vlad's hanging on every email. One with the subject matter of "you will be getting your money" seemed to wake him up.
I sent:
Quote:
Hi my sweet WILD orchid.

Sorry about the last email I sent. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I shouldn't have drunk so much and then written to you but this morning I feel much better and happier because I'm thinking of you and I being together. I just wanted you to know that you will be getting your money - all of it - and more! i think you will be surprised and happy - at least I hope so.

Let me know that you still want us to be together and I'll give you all the details. I can't wait any longer.

Your Muffin Man XXXX

And the reply came:
Quote:
I too cannot wait for day when we with you will be together)))
I will be glad that you to send money to me soon.... So when?
Yes I so look forward our meeting.... I to write you again the
Data that you could send me money

my DATA

[usual name, address, etc]

To write to me it is fast..... I very much wait when I will arrive and I will see you
And to be engaged with you in the greatest in a life sex))))))
kissssssssssssssssssssssss
To write when you to send money

This Vlad's got the patience of a saint! I'm going to wait a bit before springing my surprise. And I've a feeling The Boss might put a spanner in her works Wink

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh dear. I've upset the Vlad AGAIN!!

It starts out ok. s/he writes:
Quote:
I still wait for your answer and I hope that you not to forget about me
And to remember, that I wait your help very soon... Also I wish to see you
As soon as possible.... So to write to me it is fast.... After all I so strongly miss on you

I reply:
Quote:
Hi Baby orchid.

I could never forget about you! You are my everything!!

I'm sorting a few things out at the moment but I promise you there will be something big in your box (your email box that is : ) ) on wednesday. Can you wait until then my sweet? Please say you can. We are so close to being together now I can almost taste you!!

Your love muffin XX

PS What underwear do you have on today? : )

But the Vlad's not happy. Especially about being asked what colour undercrackers he's got on. Received as 5 separate emails:
Quote:
You know that I think?

IN WHAT THE REASON OF YOUR DELAY TO HELP ME?
WHY ON WEDNESDAY YOU WISH TO SEND MONEY? OR IT NOT SO?
WHY YOU TO HESITATE..... YOU WILL TELL WHAT TO DO IT SOON?
SO WHERE..... YOU ONLY WISH TO KNOW WHAT I LINEN TO CARRY THIS OR THAT DAY
SO IN WHAT BUSINESS? THAT YOU WANT IN GENERAL FROM ME..... THERE CAN BE YOU TO PLAY WITH ME
YOU ARE SIMPLE SO ALL IT TO WRITE AND ACTUALLY TO ME WILL NOT HELP
I AM ANGERED...... GIVE OVERPERSUADE ME THAT YOUR INTENTIONS ARE SERIOUS
TO WRITE TO ME IT IS FAST..... I AM AWFULLY AFFLICTED

AND WHY YOU DO NOT GO TODAY TO SEND MONEY?
YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME TO MAKE IT OR WHAT?
OR YOU SIMPLY PLAY FOR TIME FOR SOMETHING????????????????

I WANT THAT YOU TO SEND MONEY TODAY
YOU HAVE MY DATA AND YOU CAN MAKE IT TODAY
I VERY MUCH WANT THAT YOU HAVE LISTENED TO ME AND TO SEND THEM TODAY
BOTH NOT TOMORROW AND NOT THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW TODAY...... CLEARLY
YOUR BUSINESS...... IF YOU DO NOT WISH SO NOT TO HELP ME.... AND TO TELL
I DO NOT WISH TO WAIT LONG..... I DO NOT WISH TO WAIT FOR WEDNESDAY.... I WANT TODAY
THIS MY DESIRE ALSO I HOPE WHAT TO LISTEN TO HIM AND TO UNDERSTAND
I DO NOT WISH TO WAIT.... I WANT TODAY THAT YOU HAVE HELPED ME

I DO NOT KNOW, DO THAT YOU WANT BUT YOU SHOULD TODAY TODAY
TO SEND MONEY..... I WILL NOT WAIT MORE..... DO THAT YOU WANT BUT IF YOU
TODAY NOT TO SEND MONEY THAT I WILL NOT WRITE ANY MORE TO YOU AND TO WISH TO ARRIVE
YOU CAN TAKE OFFENCE AT ME AND THINK THAT YOU WANT, BUT I ALREADY TIRED TO WAIT
WHEN YOU TO FULFIL THE PROMISES.... CLEARLY..... I HAVE GOT TIRED TO WAIT
YOU ANY NOT SERIOUS AND ONLY TO PROMISE BUT NOT TO FULFIL PROMISES
THE MAN SHOULD CARRY OUT THAT PROMISED..... SO OPERATE.... AT YOU IS
TODAY.... AND YOU ARE OBLIGED TO SEND MONEY TODAY.... OTHERWISE I WILL BE DISAPPOINTED
IN YOU AND IN YOUR INTENTIONS CONCERNING ME..... SO OPERATE
ALL IN YOUR HANDS.... BRANCH WU IS IN YOUR CITY AND IT IS A LOT OF THEM
YOU WILL FIND TIME TO GO THERE TODAY.... TODAY HAS UNDERSTOOD???
SO OPERATE..... ALL IN YOUR HANDS..... AND I DO NOT WISH TO HEAR ANY EXCUSES
NOT TO SEND MONEY..... HAS UNDERSTOOD??????????

Well now he's spoilt the surprise so I say as much:
Quote:
My darling? I am sorry to have caused you such frustration. I know it must seem like I kept you waiting forever but the reason I was going to wait until wednesday was to surprise you. But I'll have to tell you now and spoil the surprise.

I was going to book my flight to come to russia and see you and start a new life with you. Forget my job and boring old england and be with you and we can stay in russia or go somewhere else. `maybe somewhere warm. But now the surprise is spoilt. I hope you'd still like me to book the tickets though. Then you do not need to worry about the £800 or the Wu or anything because I will be with you and you won't have to worry.

I thougfht I was doing a nice thing in bringing the money with me not just sending it to you. was I wrong?

I love you baby XX

Muffin

Will he calm down? Will he keep shouting? Will he tell me what knickers he's got on?
I very much doubt it. Very Happy
Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 5:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ahhhh…vlad is mad.
I get:
Quote:
FAREWELL FOR EVER

Followed by:
Quote:
FUCK YOU

Charming! I try to placate him:
Quote:
What? what's wrong? ! Are you on your period or something? [sorry, ladies]Why are you being like that. I thought you'd be pleased I was going to come to russia. what's happened to you? What would be the point of sending money when I can bring it myself? If you can give me a good reason I'll happily send it tomorrow.

I'm really confused.

muffin

Will he reply? I do so very hope so. Wink

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think it's over but I cant resist trying to fuckwith this Vlad's head one more time! I send:
Quote:
dear Orchid?

Are you at the cafe? Please reply. I still don't know what I did that was so bad. i thought you'd be happy for me to save you all the trouble of coming to england. Tell me what you want me to do. I'll do anything not to lose you. Is it difficult to send money by the internet? I'm not very good at it but if its simple I could do it right now. If you are reading this please please tell me. Maybe I can still come to see you but you could use the money to buy nice things for yourseldf an d maybe rent a nice hotel if your apartment isn't suitable for me to stay in?

I love you so much.

Muffin XXX

I then follow it with an email my boss sends to me which I forward to her. It would seem that he's taken her original letter in which she explains her and Simon's relationship and edited it to make it look like she's interested in him!
The devious bastard!
Quote:
Dear Simon.

I thought you might be interested in this email Maria sent me. As you can see she is interested in me now and has sent me letters and photos. Very nice! Ah well. All is fair in love and war and to the victor the spoils.

David Phillips (Director)
Consultant Operations

Dear Mr Phillips

My name is [email protected] [email protected] from Saratov in Russia. I write to you because we

communicate and our relations are serious and deserving

Trust and attention.... All the photo which I to send as well as my letters and words told in him

The address... I hope that now you are convinced of honesty. I will

dismiss him because of that he to give to me a little the Time.

to write me letters and to look at my photos.... Yours faithfully

Maria.

And finally I tell her this:
Quote:
Oh. I see why you don't want to have anything to do with me now. It all makes sense. How could I have been so stupid. I hope you'll be very happy with your richer more powerful boyfriend or whatever he is to you. FUCK!! I loved you Maria from my bottom of my heart. women can be so cruel sometimes. I'm so shocked I can't even be angry.

You have broken my heart.

muffin : (

And hopefully the Vlad's broken his laptop by throwing it at the wall.

Love Phil X [EDIT scammer's name]

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee

Last edited by Phil Yerboots on Mon Dec 13, 2010 1:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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joseywales
Master Baiter


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 170
Location: Formally Missouri, now Texas


PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

clapping clapping Great Bait. enjoyed reading and waiting for the next installment. wasted his time for at least a month or more. VLad = banghead . I'm betting that he is waiting a little while and will be back. he was so close to the money, he could almost smell it in his hand. he just has to figure out a way to get it. What I tried and it worked for me was to suggest for him/her to find me an apartment in her city for both of us. he/she was only too happy to comply and yes, I needed to send him/her money for a deposit right now so that we didn't lose it. I made him/her send me pictures of the apartment with her in it (the first couple of apartment were not nice enough). she did. but alas, the trip never happened. she finally sent me a photo of some girl drinking champagne and with the words F**K Y*O written underneath the photo. I guess he/she was really really mad for all the time that he/she wasted on me and in the end, NO MONEY. Twisted Evil

_________________
you pizdabol
you suka
I HATE YOU!!!!!
YOU The Latest creature!!!!!
YOU The Mongrel!!!
KISS ME IN THE ASS!!! ; from sweet Elena






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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for the encouragement and advice Josey! Much appreciated and glad you're enjoying it.
You are right about the Vlad being unable to let this go. Too much time, too much effort. BUT the following emails are v interesting. This vlad says he's on to me which I reckon shows he's been baited before ( not unlikely) but he can't quite allow himself to admit he's been taken for a fool. So he sends this bizarre series of emails which I have put into one quote:

Quote:
I TO YOU GIVE LAST CHANCE TO BE WITH ME
YOU SHOULD SEND TODAY MONEY.... HAS UNDERSTOOD
THIS David Phillips
I TO UNDERSTAND FOR A LONG TIME ALREADY THAT YOU TO WRITE IT TO ME
I NOT TO WRITE ANY LETTERS WHICH YOU TO WRITE TO ME FROM HIM
I NOT THE SILLY WOMAN AND THE STUPID GIRL.... SO SOLVE THAT YOU TO DO FURTHER

YOU WHAT THAT THE MORON
YOU HAVE A REAL POSSIBILITY TO SEE ME AT HOME EVERY DAY
AND INSTEAD YOU TO THINK OUT WHAT STUPID HISTORIES
WHICH I TO UNDERSTAND..... SO IN WHAT HAS PUT?
YOU STUPID OR HOW? YOU TO CONSIDER THAT I THE STUPID SUCH?
WHAT YOU WILL TELL?
SO YOU WISH TO SEE ME OR NOT?
SO YOU TO SEND MONEY OR NOT?
THAT FOR DULLNESS SUCH

Well you and the moron


So. How to play this? The vlad reckons he's sussed me BUT want's to give me one more chance? He can't risk being wrong about the bait so I decide to flatter his ego and actually admit I've tried to fool him. I'm hoping this will draw out the bait even further. I send:

edit.
Quote:
Dear maria.

I have found your letters somewhat difficult to understand and to be honest I'm surprised you've written to me at all. BUt I'm very grateful.
I thought you didn't want to talk to me but I'm glad you have. And you're right about the letters from my boss. I wrote them. I knew you were clever but I tried to trick you. The truth is I lost my job a long time ago and I couldn't afford to send you £800 but I didn't know how to tell you without you saying you didn't want me anymore.
I am very ashamed and hope you will forgive me for being a liar. The truth is I DO want to be with you and I DO want to see you but at the moment I can only send you £203. I feel bad that this is probably not enough for you to come to england but I really want you to trust me so from now on no more lies, ok?
I promise I will not lie to you ever again. And I will never do anything to hurt you.
I hope you can find it in your heart to understand why I did what I did. It is because I thought you would leave me if you knew that I couldn't send you £800. I could send you £800 but it would have to wait until I can sell my car which might take a while but someone might buy it as a xmas present.

I'm sorry I tried to hide my shame. Please forgive me. And please tell me that you still have some affection for me.

Your Muffin Always XX

p.s what underwear are you wearing today? : ) Don't get angry. I'm just joking!!!


Ah. can't resist winding him up even in abject grovelling. I think this may be unorthodox and normally I would deny all accusations but something tells me this might convince the vlad that I'm not a baiter.

We'll see! If he falls for it though. I'm gonna have to get creative!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah. Pretty sure this vlad knows he's been had and he can't bring himself to just walk away.

I get this:

Quote:
YES I KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE MONEY
BUT TIME YOU TO PROMISE TO SEND TO ME 800 THEN DO IT
TO SELL THE CAR IF YOU WISH TO BE WITH ME
DO THAT YOU WISH BUT TO PROMISE TO HELP


I reply:
Quote:
Hi baby!

You're right. (As always! Such a clever girl.) A promise is a promise and I shouldn't go back on it. I'll sell my car. I won't need it anywayfor our plans together. I'll advertise it for sale today but obviously I don't know how soon I can sell it. Hopefully someone will buy it quickly because it's worth £3000 but I will try and sell it for £2000 so you can have the £800 I promised. You are very patient and kind.

I'm glad we can make a fresh start with no lies and complete honesty. So tell me what you've been doing my darling? Are you still working as a stripper? I hope you don't get too cold when you take your clothes off! : ) I bet your nipples are like chapel hat-pegs (that's a saying we have here in england for big, hard nipples that stick out) I bet you never heard that before : )

Tell me how you've been and whether you still want to come to england or whether you would prefer me to come to russia whichever you think is best.

I love you my gorgeoud orchid.

Muffin XXXX


And a strange thing happens…
Quote:
I will be glad that you to operate and try to sell the car more likely
I think that at you all to receive.... And still I wish to tell that the car business acquirable
How to speak at us in Russia.... And we with you will necessarily buy new when I will arrive
I am glad that you wish to fulfil the the promise.... It is a duty of everyone the man to carry out
The promises.... This true quality for the man
I hope that you directly to send today money....
And we at last will be together..... You have photo of yours the car? Send to me it if at
You is it is a photo
this mail is accompanied by a 15MB mp3 of some shit dance music. Does he think that inconveniences my inbox?

I reply:
Quote:
Hi honey!! I'm glad we're back to normal now. It would be nice to sell the car today but I don't know how likely that will be. I can't MAKE someone buy it after all. As for the photo. I'll try and take a photo with my phone but I'm not sure how to put it on the computer so bear with me.

How are you? Is everything ok?

Muffin XXX

p.s thanks for the music but it wouldn't play on my computer.


Any thoughts out there in Baiterland? To be honest, even if he knows that I know that he knows that I know…etc sending me letters and files is fine. It costs me nothing and keeps him busy!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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joseywales
Master Baiter


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 170
Location: Formally Missouri, now Texas


PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 6:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

tell her several people have look at it and one guy made you a low offer of 1200 but that you don't want him to rob you as the car is worth a lot more and you think he is going to resell it and make the 3000 that it is worth. what does she think? sell it for the 1200 or wait for the 2000? Twisted Evil

_________________
you pizdabol
you suka
I HATE YOU!!!!!
YOU The Latest creature!!!!!
YOU The Mongrel!!!
KISS ME IN THE ASS!!! ; from sweet Elena






Closed lad accounts
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Shit, Josey! You're psychic! We must have the same evil gene! These are from BEFORE reading your post.

Because I reckon this vlad checks the photo info on images to see what their source is, I put a picture of a car that's for sale from the web on my computer screen and take a photo of it with my phone and send that (it seems to do the trick) I receive:
Quote:
We will buy to us the good car then)
I hope that the car-any a piece of iron for you not more important than I!)))
At you the good car and I hope that you to sell it this week
After all you do not have work.... So you have a heap of time to sell it
As soon as possible.... There can be you to give the car under the credit in bank
And the bank will give you money..... That you will tell and then we to redeem it when I will work
What you will tell? It is good idea

Followed by:
Quote:
WELL AS YOUR SUCCESSES ON SALE OF YOUR CAR??
YOU TRY? OR IT IS SIMPLE SO HAS TOLD THAT YOU WILL DO
AND ACTUALLY YOU WILL NOT SELL THE OF THE CAR
THAN THE CAR IS MORE EXPENSIVE TO YOU THAN I? ANSWER ME THIS QUESTION
I AM NOT GOING TO WAIT TIME LARGE QUANTITY FOR THIS PURPOSE
TO MEET YOU.... SO YOU NEED TO TRY TO SELL THE CAR
FASTER AND THEN I CAN SOON ARRIVE TO YOU.... I TO WRITE TO YOU YESTERDAY
PROBANK... THAT THAT YOU CAN PUT IN PAWN IT IN BANK AND TO YOU WILL GIVE MONEY
IT IS THE BEST VARIANT FOR US... SO THINK

My Vlad is so astute in all financial matters so I reply:
Quote:
Hello my angel!! Your letters make me very happy and you are full of good ideas. Of course I will use the money from the car to put in the bank as soon as I can and send you my promise. You are very smart. But do I think the car is more important than you? NEVER!! You are better than any car. You have a better body! I will want to ride in you all day and all night! And put my luggage in your boot!! Ha ha I'm making jokes!! You make me feel so good.

Here is the latest news. two men telephoned me yesterday to ask about the car but they didn't come to see it. A man came this morning and he is interested but he wants to give me £1600 instead of £2000 and a man is coming this evening to see the car. What do you think I should do? Shall I wait for the man tonight and see if he wants to pay the full amount or should I sell to the other man for less? I am trying hard all day to sell the car so we can be together. Please try to be patient. Don't forget I am already losing £1000 so I can sell quicker!!

I hope you can write to me and tell me how you are and what you are doing. I don't want to always just be talking about the money. Tell me how you are and how you feel baby. I am excited at the thought of seeing you.

your muffin forever
XXXX

Knowing that my vlad will say sell immediately you've given me an idea Josey. Ok. Morning man has offered £1600. Evening man offers £1200. (For a £3000 car? I'd be mad to take either.) It seems like a no-brainer. BUT…morning man will pay by cheque. Evening man will pay cash. I feel tossed on the horns of a dilemma. Wink

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My Vlad's a stripper AND a used car salesman!! So talented. Surprisingly she reckons I should see what evening man's offer is. Who'd a thought?

Quote:
I am glad that you try to make all more likely to sell the car
As it is very pleasant to me to hear that for you the car not more important me)))
Today I to do nothing.... In the street it is very cold today-26 C and it very much
Coldly for this season... And at you what weather.... I so want to you more likely
But I so already tired to wait when you can help me.... I so want to you
And so I wish to be with you every day the life.... You attentive and kind
The person.... And consequently I so would like to you..... I am lonely without you.... It is lonely
Without you here in Russia.... Therefore I want to you.... I think that the idea with bank is good
And you can use her.... To receive money.... Well if at you
Tonight will buy the car the buyer that it it will be even better
I miss and I want to you)))
kissssss

Yeah. Thanks for the weather update, Yuri.

I reply:
Quote:
Ah my darling! You're in the cafe! That's great!! -26 WOW that's cold!!! I hope the club where you strip is nice and warm you'll freeze your tits off!!

Things are looking good I've told the man who came this morning to wait and I'll tell him if I accept his offer after I've seen the one this evening. But either way I WILL SELL THAT CAR!!

O my darling I miss you so much and want to be with you. Am I coming to see you or are you coming to see me. I'm still not clear on taht.

Love you orchid.

Muffin XXX

And then I get a beautiful, lovely reply full of encouraging signs that we are a couple once again (and that this bait isn't over) He was pretty mad the first time the money didn't materialise. Raging over the second. Next time I'm going to try and pop a vein!

Quote:
I am very glad to hear such good news from you)) And so it is healthy that at you
Today there are 2 buyers on yours the car))) If the person which comes to you
In the evening will not buy the car for 2000 that you sell to the first person for
1600..... All right.... When I will arrive to you that we with you quickly to earn and buy
The new car and îí will be the most good for us))) I so strongly want to you
And I so am glad that at you more warmly now than at us.... Really at us winter today
And in general last time so is cold in the street.... And so it is lonely in a soul
But I so am glad that I have you and you think of me and to wish to see me very much
Soon.... I too so strongly want it, I now should go home, because
I have not enough money to use Internet cafe, there can be I will come
Here in the evening, simply very strongly it is cold, but me to heat love to you and yours
To the most sincere sexual desires))) hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

That's not a bad hmmm from Yoda. The first proper one in a long time and a sure sign that all is well between us. Followed by…[drum roll]

Quote:
kisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Good luck with sale the car tonight))

The biggest kisssss EVER!! Very Happy I'm cock-a-hoop!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
joseywales
Master Baiter


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 170
Location: Formally Missouri, now Texas


PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

so the situation is - you're out of work and your only means of transport is up for sale. she'll take your last dime and then disappear. that's why I don't have any pity on them when I run them around from money-grab to money grab with the wrong info. I just knew she'd be back. she wasted too much time to let it drop and you set the hook hard. keep up the great work on her wasting as much time as possible on this bait. surprise that she didn't fall for the boss. she has standards? doubt it. too bad she won't send you picture of her tits with the cold weather. oh yes, it's really a guy and he'd have a hard time getting that photo. laughing my ass off at the way you're playing her. Twisted Evil again, keep fighting that fish and just let it wear itself out with frustration with you. wonder if he's thrown anything yet as I'm sure he's been really mad at you with this scam that is taking too long for him to get his money. banghead

_________________
you pizdabol
you suka
I HATE YOU!!!!!
YOU The Latest creature!!!!!
YOU The Mongrel!!!
KISS ME IN THE ASS!!! ; from sweet Elena






Closed lad accounts
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for the encouragement Josey! This is definitely one catch that's going to be gutted!

She gets up nice and early to check the old inbox (8am her time!) and wonders if I sold my car…

Quote:
I hope that today you can already send money, I so have early come
In Internet cafe because I want that we with you were together very soon
Therefore I so have early risen to come and write to you.... You are important for me
And I want that I too so was strongly important for you in a real life and you to wait
Day when we with you will be to do together beautiful things in bed
And in general that we were happy.... Now I am not happy because you are not present
Nearby and you so are far from me.... So tell to me you to sell the car?
As at you successes with it..... To write to me it is fast dear

I reply with a breakdown of the transaction including lots of £ signs to get her salivating and then throw in a bit of smut for the hell of it knowing full well it will be ignored:
Quote:
Good morning baby!!

I'm sorry I was not awake for you when you went to the cafe but don't forget the time difference! I'm not very good at getting up in the mornings and last night after the man came over I went to the pub and had quite a lot to drink to celebrate. because I sold the car!!!!
isn't that the most wonderful news. The man tried to give me £1800 but I managed to get him to agree on £1900! So yes I've lost £1100 but at least I now have the money to send to you.
I will go to the bank today. His cheque will take 3 to 4 business days to clear but as soon as it does I will be able to transfer into your account.

I love the sound of doing beautiful things in bed. And just like you asked me I have been saving myself for you. I haven't had a wank for almost a month!! I'm worried that as soon as I see your gorgeous naked body I'm going to go off like a fireman's hose and cover you with my smoo.
So don't be surprised if I don't last very long the first time. And maybe the second time too.
O my wild orchid what wonderful times we will have together and I'm SOOO glad that everything has worked out for us and that once again we can plan our future together. So now I guess it's ok for me to ask a little favour of you. What kind of underwear do you have on today? : )

Love and kisses

Muffin XXXXX

I thought I might get a CAPS LOCK reply due to the news she has to wait for the money but no! she's quite reasonable about it:
Quote:
These are very good news from you)))) I so am glad that you to sell the car and
Now you have money to send to me))) I so am glad that soon we with you
Let's be together... You such remarkable... And attentive..... Only tell why to you
3-4 days to send money will be required? WU sends money instantly
So in what has put then?..... You to send today money? So you and to give today me all
The information for reception of money...... kissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


I reply:
Quote:
Hi Baby Orchid!!

It is good news isn't it? I'm glad you appreciate all I'm doing for you - for us. I am doing everything I can for our happiness. I don't know if it's the same in russia but here when you put a cheque in the bank they always tell you it takes 3 - 4 working days to clear the cheque. Some people say this is so the bank earns interest or something but I don't know or maybe it's so that they can make sure that the person who gives you the cheque that they have the money in their account anyway there's not much I can do about that unfortunately. I put the cheque in and as soon as the money appears in my account I can send it to you. I don't have the money today. If the man had given me cash I would but nobody wants to carry £1900 in their wallet - what if they got mugged by a thief!!
Anyway the important thing is that the money will be there soon and we will be together soon too.

So how are things? How is your stripping work? A friend took me to a strip club once. The girls were lovely - not as lovely as you of course - and they wore big boots with pointy heels and they span round on poles and shoved their asses in your face so you could put £5 and £10 notes in their pants. I only had £4.80 in coins so I popped those in like she was a vending machine. It was funny at the time apart from the black eye I got when they threw me out.
Have you got stilleto boots? and can you do that thing where you swing on a pole? (you can swing on my pole anytime! : ) ) We've never really talked about what you do at your job. I'd love to know!!

Lots of love

Your muffin man XXXXXX


So…3-4 working days takes us to next thursday/friday before the cheque clears which means another whole week of baiting. She won't like it but she'll have to suck it up. I can't change the banking laws but O lord how will she react when she finds out the cheque bounces? I'm hoping a visit to the hospital for critically high blood pressure. Wink

Love Phil X

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 12:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh I say! This Vlad's a crafty one. I receive a well-thought out mail that allows him to get his money (which he is now convinced of) with no further effort on his part. Read and marvel at his clever laziness:

Quote:
I to understand now why you cannot send money at once))
The person which to buy the car to draw you the check for reception of money in bank)
Now I to understand all, it is very healthy that you managed to sell the car
So quickly and it will mark you know that??? That that soon we with you will together and I
There will be you sexual car)))) hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm [not bad, possibly the longest yet but I can't be bothered to check]
You can go by me))) and it we will be much better and more pleasant for you than
Simply to go by the car)))) I so think.... I so am strongly glad that soon we with you
Let's be together...... And it so cheers me up..... Today heavy day and me
Today it is necessary to go to other city on affairs, my girlfriend to ask me
To go with her to other city on work, it is possible to tell that in small business trip
And I will arrive back home only approximately on December, 7-8th.... Tell you you will miss on me?
I now have come to write to Internet cafe here to you that you not to think that
I somewhere to vanish, my girlfriend sits next and so rejoices to that that I have you))
She even envies me, and speaks as me has carried with you.... She as is lonely as well as I
Also says, that would like to have such loving man as you.... But while at her not the such
Men as you....... Yes I understand her envy, after all we with you so are similar and so we want the friend
The friend every day the life.... You such attentive and such sexually liberated
I also dreamt of such person all life...... I hope that when I will arrive
Back on December, 7-8th home, you can already send me this money.... Also you can do
So to go in WU and to send them..... I so am glad that to soon smog to be with you and we can
To do the finest things with you in bed and in general in a life..... The main thing together)))
Now I to leave and I wish to tell, that I will miss on you and to think so much.... I hope
That you will miss too on me and to think of ours already to very fast meeting)))

[Drum roll, fanfare and fireworks. It's a new world record folks!]

kisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
love you

So. What to do next? The cheque bounces? The Wu payment doesn't go through again? I fall under a bus? All ideas gratefully received. I can't wait for the angry letter but if I can just squeeze this vlad a little more (I want to see the pips) it would be a Happy Baity Xmas!

Love Phil X

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Iron Ferrox
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

wow I dont know which bait is more epic Stripper-Yoda or Gimpsuit-Lad? either way i have to say That was a rather genious way they came up to not have to work in that last email...lazy lazy Vlad. as for what you shuld do next I dunno, DO vlads Dolla chop each other like lads do cause if so I woudl say this woudl be a good time for you to just "send the money" with no complications and the end result is someone intercepted the transaction.

I think you can string them along a little longer with some form of interception of the transfer (if they think like lads do that is)
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Morgain Le Fay
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Joined: 14 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 5:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I must say I have enjoyed reading this thread; it has been better than a soap opera on afternoon television. I sit here waiting for the next episode.

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Jeannette
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for posting this bait! Amazing how long you keep it going clapping clapping clapping

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Phil Yerboots
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Joined: 29 Oct 2009
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Iron, Morgain, Jeannette, thank you for your support and enthusiasm. I wish this vlad and I could grow old together! However, I know that there's probably only one more roll of the dice available. So I'm betting on snake eyes. Twisted Evil When this vlad checks in to find that he STILL hasn't got any money, well…I think that'll be worth 100 humorous dirty letters and easily reproduced nude photos.

Baiting isn't just about the fun had at these con-men and con-womens' expense but feeling that you're part of a community that cares about the vunerable and the exploited. So thank you once agin for your comments and thank you for being baiters.

I have to go now - there's something in my eye…

Much love and respect,

Phil X

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Morgain Le Fay
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Joined: 14 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 12:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I need another episode. Whatever shall I do on Monday afternoon for the next installment??? crying

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internationalchrysis
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Why not have your character be the main witness in the bank robbery that happened while she was trying to bank the money.

Of course all of her money was stolen so she now has to think of a way to get more cash, maybe whine a bit about how she'll have to whore herself to make ends meet, but she can't 'cos the cops won't let their star witness out of their sight!

Plus she thinks one of the cops may have an interest in her sexually...

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joseywales
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Joined: 25 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

or that the guy who wrote the check was writing hot checks Shocked and now is in jail clapping . you, of course will have to try and find the other buyer Rolling Eyes or re-list the car for sale. you have such bad luck. the only good luck you've had lately is her. RIGHT! Laughing

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Phil Yerboots
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 2:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That's right, Josey! I have all the bad luck! Not only has the cheque bounced but because I'm so trusting the fraudster has already taken the car! Surely she'll understand how someone as gullible as I could be tricked by a low-down dirty rotten con-man?

Yoda's been in touch a day early. She said she'd be back on Thursday/Friday so I sense some excitement. She says:

Quote:
Hello my love
I wish to tell that I to arrive home from a trip and I hope that you to miss on me
Strongly and to think of me every day..... I missed on you and thought every day
The life.... You such remarkable and I so are glad that you are at me.... Kiisssssseeesss
I so strongly wish to be with you as soon as possible..... So tell to me you to cash the check
Which you to give to bank, have passed 4 bissines days and for certain at you already is
Money for hands and you can send them to me.... So tell to me when you will do?
When you at last to send them to me? I do not wish to wait more and I wish to embody
All sexual imaginations with you and to do it it is very fast..... And not to discuss it
Simply in letters..... I wish to do all in a reality and to do very soon
So to write to me when you you will help me? To answer me it is fast
After all I so strongly wait for our fastest meeting

p.s. And there can be you to send money to me?)))


Wonder what she'll say when she sees these?

Image

Image

Love Phil X

_________________
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chugger
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Joined: 25 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quality bait this! Keep us updated mate
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internationalchrysis
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Joined: 19 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@ Phil.

That's some seriously nice Photochop. I wish MY photochop skills were as good Crying or Very sad

But I think you're baiting is being a bad influence on me.... NICE!

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x2 Léon the (not so) Professional. x4 Via Swindler's list. x4 Via Will and Grace the Law Firm. x3 *Hitman, x1 Hitman: The sequel!, , x1 Haiti scam, x1 The Bimbo (via Umbongo Chambers),
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Iron Ferrox
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 5:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

all I can say is "Ur fotochop is win!"

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Chugger, Chrys and Ferrox! I'll eat that cookie now. MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......
Tastes of Sturgeon eggs and Vodka!!

I do photochop in RL so nothing too difficult. (The cheque isn't even on the table if I may blow my own trumpet)

Oooo talking of blowing. Yoda's back and MAD AS HELL!!!

Quote:
MORE SHORTLY LISTEN HERE..... YOU THE MORON, AND I ANY MORE DO NOT WISH TO RECEIVE FROM
FOR YOU LETTERS BECAUSE YOU ONLY TO PLAY WITH ME AND ALL TIME TO SEARCH
WHAT THAT JUSTIFICATIONS, AND NOW YOU TO DO TO ME SUCH UNPLEASANT
YOU CAN SEARCH TO YOURSELF FOR OTHER GIRL WHICH WILL BELIEVE YOU AND WILL BE
TO SUFFER YOUR TRICKS, TIME YOU DO NOT WISH TO SEE ME THEN FAREWELL
HAS UNDERSTOOD? NOT TO WRITE ANY MORE TO ME NEVER.... GO IN ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS [uh, I think it's the other way around if I recall]
I NOT TO TRUST YOU IT IS MORE...... FAREWELL FOR EVER


Followed by

Quote:
FUCK OFF

Short and to the point and obviously the end of the bait.







Or is it?




Quote:
I NOT TO WRITE ANY MORE TO YOU NEVER
WHILE YOU NOT TO SEND MONEY
WHEN TO SEND MONEY THEN AND TO WRITE TO ME
IF YOU WANT THAT I YOU TO TRUST THEN TO SEND ME AT LEAST 100 POUNDS
I NOT TO ASK 800 TO SEND AT LEAST 100 AND THEN WE WILL HAVE CONVERSATION FURTHER

Ha! He can't leave it alone can he? Just has to give me ANOTHER opportunity to bend him over the table. Well, thanks Yoda. You might want to bite down on something.

I reply:
Quote:
Thanks darling. After everything I've done for you. My life is a mess and this is your reaction? I've just been swindled out of my car!!! Can't believe your not sympathetic. You can be a bit nasty sometimes you know. Cruel. I still love you because that's what couples do they have arguments and then they kiss and make up. It's a bit sad that we can't do that at the moment but it's not my fault is it?

You know I'd do anything for you my orchid but christ! cut me a bit of slack won't you. I've got the police and the insurance involved so hopefully they'll catch the lying thieving bastard who nicked my car but in the meantime I'm going to arrange an overdraft of a couple of thousand pounds with the bank.

Do you know what an overdraft is? It is when the bank lend you money OK?!! Satisfied? I will send you your £100 as soon as that is approved. I think that's very loving of me and it would be nice if you agreed and didn't say such nasty things like you have.

muffin x


Seems fair to me. Not long now until Vlad's pay day. Shame he's gone from $390 to £800 and is now down to £100 but, after all, how long does it take to get an overdraft approval? few days? I'm sure he can wait.
Hmmm but what if I get turned down? I'll have to take out a shark loan. At least that's instant and risk free.

Isn't it? Wink

Love Phil X

_________________
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