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 Yoda talks dirty (NSFW)

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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hello again to those who remember me!

RL has taken a big chunk a change and I haven't baited for a long time. Decided to dip my toe back in the murky, dirty waters of SCAM and managed to hook a Vlad with my second cast of the net. This is a known one who goes by the name of [email protected] [email protected] She's a stripper Rolling Eyes and I've managed to wangle a shockingly bad photoshopped passport ( or Assport if you will ) out of "her".

Image

But as those with long memories will attest I like my Vlads to get creative with the pillow talk and this one's not great but once you've read the first "Hmmmmmm" it's almost impossible to get Yoda's voice out of your head which makes it all the creepier. I always had my doubts about that little green fella!

Quote:
I wish to tell, that I too so wished to have sex with you)))) hmmmmmm much
And to do various pleasant things each other..... But it only thoughts.... And only
The letter.... I wish to do so much in a reality... You can send to me approximately 500 euro
And then I will buy beautiful things and very sexual..... Beautiful underwear
And it is a lot of still that.... So if you to send me 500 that you will be delighted when will see me)))
You will groan from pleasure to observe me and will be delighted to remove from me all this
Clothes and to do pleasant things to me.... To lick mine pussy and I will suck in exchange your penis))) hmmmm
Excuse me for so dissolute thoughts)))


Will try and get some more if I can. The force is WRONG in this one.

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Branwen
Baiting Guru


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 4771
Location: Down on the (Playmobil) farm


PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

hmmmmm. Expensive underwear they have there! Which you will be delighted to remove, and therefore hardly see at all.

I like the emphasis on the 'pleasant things'. Just in case you thought that she might do a few unpleasant things.

many hmmmmms.

_________________
Purple Flower Mc Fry Sand Timer x14

It is your first time to use western union so therefore none can blame you. It is always like this at the first experience. - Yes lad, and at the second, and the third... you'll see.

I don't want to guess the number - But, lad, isn't that the best fun to be had with MoneyGram reference numbers?
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I agree, Branwen. But it seems the smaller and sheerer the undergarment the more expensive so I guess my 500 euros will buy something that looks like black dental-floss.

Well, it appears this Vlad thinks the money's in the bag and is quite happy to keep quiet and wait until Thursday without so much as a "Hmmm……thinking of you, I am." So I'm not going to prompt her with a message of my own. I'll wait her out and then she'll have some explaining to do when she gets in touch to ask where her WU went.

Then I'll try and string her out for another few days. The WU is in the next city, after all, and she's already made me go there once without the relevant info I needed. A small slap to keep her keen should hopefully result in what I want.

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Got this yesterday. Don't think he's going to be pleased that I haven't sent the money. But hey! It was his fault for being lazy. No sexy letters in FOUR days? He's going to need to put a bit more effort in. Told him I thought he'd changed his mind and unfortunately I can't get to the WU until Tuesday, but in the meantime I will write every day and expect a reply. Let's see if we can get the Vlad to put in some overtime and work the weekend!!

Quote:
Today Thursday.... And you to speak to me what today to send to me money?)))
So tell to me.... You to send them to me today?))) I hope what yes)))
I so wish to be with you and to do pleasant sex with with you every day))) hmmmm
As I wish to suck your penis and to kiss your nipples and gently-gently to deliver
To you the great pleasure))) I think that you would like it very much
To write to me it is fast.... And to write to me data to receive money!
kisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
hmmmmmmmmm


Gently-gently hey? well this Vlad better get ready for some roughly-roughly! Twisted Evil

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 9:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, managed to get the Vlad to "work" on a Saturday - which is a result. Also managed to get some more filth which, hopefully, was an embarrassment to write. Now, I may have innocently enquired whether the Vlad would be amenable to me, how shall I put it, putting my luggage in the back bedroom and I did get a nice reply. If you're not sure what I mean by this euphemism then all is revealed below but WARNING this is extremely explicit and NSFW. Come to think of it it's probably not safe for home either!
Quote:

I am glad that you to write me a considerable quantity of letters))) And it to mean that
You to think of me and wish me to see fast in a real life)) At me are not present
Now the house Internet and consequently I have come to Internet cafe to write to you)))
I hope that you are glad to see my letter.... Also is glad to see that that I to write to you now)))
You to speak that wish to have me in mine Ass))) You wish to fuck me in mine Ass)))
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Know I it never was engaged)))
But I very much would like to try it))) You only not to think that I any whore))
Simply I and had earlier such thoughts, but it is nobody me was them to embody in a reality)
Now I have also we could do it))) Probably you are glad to read these words)))
As I am glad that you can to send money on Monday and to allocate for this purpose a little
Time to go to other city in WU.... It so is healthy))) to you to write
My data that you could send money? And how many you wish to send?
You want that I to buy to yourself sexual underwear? To write to me it is fast))))
I would like to suck your penis now and you to be glad to it))) hmmmmmmmmmmm
You would like to be mine sexual the slave? And I your madam)))
kissssssssssssssssss


Shocked Embarassed Yeah. The only person getting dominated around here is you, Sir. So bend over and prepare to be "Phil-ed"

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 2:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Wow. Just hit the mother-lode! Got an email which I was able to respond to immediately. There then followed a chain of about 24 emails in half an hour! I even got a little photo present 10 minutes later. That Vlad is working HARD for its money!!

So here goes. I won't bother putting my replies as I was just typing and sending fast in order to keep the run going. Again, the following includes descriptions of explicit sexual acts and is NSFW

Quote:
[13.09]
Yes yes yes I very much want that you to be my sexual daddy)))) hmmmmmm
And I would be yours the slave))) It would be so fine))) I so am glad that you to speak
That you will help me today))) It so fine and so it is happy that soon
All ours with you sexual imaginations will be embodied in a real life)))
I so am strongly glad that to soon smog to see you and to suck your penis))) hmmmmm
How you want that I to make it? Strongly? Or it is gentle? And as strongly you want
To thrust the penis in mine Ass??? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
To write to me it is fast..... I already all damp pussy))) hmmmmmm

[13.10]
I to send to you once again the data that you could send money
To me today through WU
my DATA [supplied]

[13.12]
Yes I am glad to hear that you wish to send to me ?500 and I can buy
The beautiful sexual underwear and even at me probably to suffice
To buy to you any sexual gift))) hmmmmmmmmmm
And we together will use it.... More precisely you will use it on me)))
I so wish to be somewhat quicker your sexual slave in a real life)))
So hurry up..... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I that mine pussy will burn down from big desire to do sex with you)))

[Very Happy Oh you'll get burnt! Don't you worry about that!]

[13.14]
Write to me the full data that I could receive money

[13.16]
I will come crawling on all fours to your knees and gently to undress you)))
You will kiss all my body and to do pleasant things))) I will strongly strongly
To suck your penis and to do such pleasant things, you will be delighted))
And after your penis already very firm, you will thrust him to me in Ass
And in all other places which you want))) hmmmmmmmmmmmm
I cannot think of it any more))) I that mine pussyy too wet))))
I want you.... Sex with you.... Every day and many times)))) hmmmmmmmmmm

[I STILL find that Yoda thing disturbing]

[13.18]
I will arrive to you in some days after to receive money)))
And we will do with you so a lot of sex)) I so strongly want it))))
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
All I have gone, and that I pussy is very hot already))))

[Oh, come on. I'm sure you can go a bit longer. This is for £500, after all]


[13.20]
ok))) I to understand))) when tomorrow you to send money?
In what is the time? When to me tomorrow to come to Internet cafe...
I wait your answer now)))
kisssssssss

[13.22]
You to send me pounds sterlings?

[13.23]
Yes yes yes...... I wish to feel your penis in the ASS)))))
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm))))
kisssssssss

[I think a kiss after you've been fucked in the ass is important, don't you?]


[13.26]
If you to send tomorrow money to me)))
That try to send to me all information rather
Remittance tomorrow... That I as soon as possible
Could leave to you))) ok?

[13.37]
Yes all right You are not important))) when or to send money through WU?
Yes I very much love sex at me so a long time there was no sex (((
But with you we can do it so often and I can together with you
To embody all sexual desires))) hmmmmmmmmmmmm

[I love how the content of the mails go sex, money, sex, money and then sex AND money! But seems like the Vlad is running out of steam.]

[13.38]
Try to write more likely to me all data for reception of money))
Here that I to mean, now you to understand?)))

[Hang on. Seems there's still some water in the kettle!]

[13.52]
Yes I very much wish to do with you the finest and most dissolute sex with you)))
You such remarkable))) I will order the flight then when I will have money))
I too very much wish to see you as soon as possible and to do with you the biggest sex
In the life... Delivering to you the great pleasure))) You will be glad)))
I now to go home and I will dream sex with you.... Mine pussy very damp))) [Told you]
You too to think of it))) is fine?)) hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I wait for day when we will be together)))) kissssssssssssssssssssssss
I will miss on you)))
kisssss

[And then, after all the dirty pictures I've been sent in the past, a nice one of the same girl with her clothes on this time.]

[13.55]
At me is only it is a photo with itself)))
I hope that you will love it)))
And to represent, that I naked)))

Poor Vlad - seems almost sorry he's exhausted his supply of the nude stuff!


After all that effort he's put in what a shame WU will keep messing up the transfer. Wink

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

It's payday! I'm supposed to have gone to the Western Onion and my Vlad gets up early like an excited child on Christmas Day eager for it's present!

Quote:
[07.21] Good morning my daddy)) Confused
How you, what you to do? To write to me as soon as you to arrive back home)))
I very strongly wait for your answer and I wish to tell that so strongly to miss on you)))
You such sexual and to start me the thoughts and desires)))
I am very excited now so..... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
kisssssssssssssssssssss


Ahhh…from excited to disappointed to full of rage is my prediction! Hmmmmm???

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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CanUSayDumbAss
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 27 Apr 2010
Posts: 9


PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

wheres the photo for our viewing pleasue?
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 4:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ahhh…well the naked ones are in my private portfolio. For now. They'll be going over to scambusters when the bait's over. But here's the lovely lass in question in a more innocent pose, Canusay.

Image

Looks like it's Xmas too by the wall decoration. Unfortunately there'll be no presents for this little vlad!!

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The Vlad wonders where its money is. Could I perchance have given her the wrong details?

Quote:
I am very glad that you to send money to me)))) It so fine)))
But unfortunately on service WU site here a site www.westernunion.com
I to check the remittance status using data which you to send
Here these data

XXXXX[name] and code MTCN 6211XXXXXXX
Shows that such remittance in system is not present.... Whether to check correctly you
To write to me data for reception of money.... There can be you hardly hardly were mistaken when to write?
Check up please these data or to send to me a copy of the form of the sender of money already
Filled with you.... Here is how on a photo.... I wait your answer and I wish to be engaged with you sex
Every day the life))) hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
kisssssssssssss


And she very kindly sends me a scanned copy of a blank Russian Western Union form. Quite why she would have such a thing of course I won't bother to question.

Quote:
To receive money to me it is necessary to know exact data about the sender of money
That is here on points

1. A name and a surname of the sender (that is yours) as in the form of the sender
2. A city of departure of money as in the form of the sender
3. The country
4. MTCN a code from WU (10 control figures)
5. The exact sum of money

To write to me it is fast.... I so wish you to see fast)))) hmmmmmmmmmmm


STOP GOING HMMMMMMMMMM FOR CHRISSAKE!!

Quote:
I wait your answer)))
I miss on you and I think so much of sex with you))) hmmmmmmmmmmmm Evil or Very Mad
kissssssssssssssssssssssssss
To write to me correct data)))
Washing the sweet sexual daddy)) [Well I knew she was dirty]
hmmmmmmmmmm Evil or Very Mad


Quote:
You have already come back home from a trip?)
I hope that your trip was good))
kissssssssssss


Thank god. She's stopped Hmmming!

Not quite sure how it will go from here. Hopefully she'll believe me when I swear i sent the money but with it being so easy to check online whether I did or not I suspect she'll suspect!

Any ideas?

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well,another little flurry of email exchanges and the Vlad is very emphatic about getting its WU form scanned. Shame it'll be a fake! (Thanks to Nurse Nasty for the link and Marvinator for the form!)

Oh and she's still Hummming like a faulty fridge…

Quote:
I am glad that you to write to me))) But I already to check these data that you to send
On a site www.westernunion.com also went to try them to receive, but on these
Given to me have told that there is no remittance... Check up?
Enter into a frame for check of the status of translation these data

XXXXXXXX [name]
6211XXXXXX

And there shows that such translation is not present.... Tell at you there was a form of the sender
Money from WU? It of green colour like.... To write to me it is fast)))
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm [It's the biggest hmmm EVER!!]
I to do to you oral pleasure and not only))))


Quote:
There can be you to make to me copy SCAN of the form of the sender of money and to send to me?)
Then I think that all will be true
Or maybe not!

Quote:
answer now
wait)))
Bossy little blighter ain't he?

Quote:
City of a parcel of money XXXXX? You there to send them? From this city?


I'll include this reply as the the response was amusing to me.

I said:
Quote:
Hi baby! Are you at the internet cafe now? That's great! can you send me a webcam picture ? That would be amazing!! yes XXXX and I think i can do a scan but I would have to go to a shop I don't have a scanner here. I can send that to you as soon as I can. I'm sure there must be some explanation as to why it's not in the system. i reckon it was the girl in the WU she didn't do it properly.

Are you ok baby.? I miss you.
XX


Quote:
Yes I now in Internet cafe, but here very old computers and the more so was not present
Any web-camera..... Yes there can be in it a problem.... I am glad that you can
To make copy SCAN of the form of the sender of money.... Make SCAN and to send me it?)
I so want somewhat quicker that we with you had sex much and every day)
Tell you when to go to do SCAN? Now you can? I wait the answer now
Do you think she wants me to do a SCAN!

Quote:
Here such but already filled with you)))
How you are fast it to make?
It is not a pity that you can send to me SCAN now.... Then tell to me when you can
It to send? I do not have any bank account for transfer of money and consequently it WU
Way the best for transfer of money.... So tell to me when you can send
To me copy SCAN of the form? I wait the answer now and I wish to see you as soon as possible....
hmmmmmmmmmmm


I explained that I'd have to take time off work and hope the boss didn't find out because I'd get fired. I have a feeling that's what will happen!!

Quote:
All right then I will wait tomorrow SCAN for the form of the sender of money... The îí at you is
It is very good... There can be all will normally and by means of it I can
To receive money so tomorrow I will wait for your answer.... When to me to come
In Internet cafe? Well that you already were here... At you now what is the time?


One more chance to remind me about the SCAN and then this Vlad's put in his time it seems.

Quote:
The Internet cafe to be closed now at 19.00 today the reduced day ((( [that can't be good for business can it?]
So I to go home.... Tomorrow to make copy SCAN it is obligatory. All right?)
I wish you to see fast and I wish to do the finest sex with you
I will arrive tomorrow here at 16.00 and I hope that by this time you already to make
Form copy..... I will wait... I want you and I want you))))
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


I try to profess my love but to no avail. This Vlad's clocking off for the evening!

Quote:
I left home.... I will wait tomorrow for your letter)))
And SCAN the form....miss on you and I think of you)))
kisssssssssssss


So after all that. I'm still not sure what she wants me to do with the form! Very Happy

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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CanUSayDumbAss
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 27 Apr 2010
Posts: 9


PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Phil Yerboots wrote:
Ahhh…well the naked ones are in my private portfolio. For now. They'll be going over to scambusters when the bait's over. But here's the lovely lass in question in a more innocent pose, Canusay.

Image

Looks like it's Xmas too by the wall decoration. Unfortunately there'll be no presents for this little vlad!!


Ahh I'm feeling jipped here, so many naked lads and no naked ladies Crying or Very sad
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Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 9:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Anyone want to read a Vlad getting mad? This fairly lengthy exchange occurred over the course of one day. Warning!!! There will be Caps Lock - AND PLENTY OF IT!

Quote:
I have already come to Internet cafe, to write to you that I think of you and I miss)))
I hope that you soon to make it SCAN and to send to me..... To write to me it is fast)))
I to come here little bit later... Also I hope that you already to write to me)))
kissssssssssss


Quote:
I have again come to Internet cafe) You here?
To write to me.... I wait your answer soon....
kissssssssssss


Quote:
So you here or not?)))
I have told that I will come here at 16.00
And already 16.23


Let's make him wait.

Quote:
And where you?? I sit and I wait for you))
To write to me soon my sexual daddy)
hmmmmmmmmmmm


I said:
Quote:
Shit! Sorry darling I thought you meant 16.00 my time not your time. I got a bit confused. Hope I didn't cause you too much trouble. Damn that's a shame. I was really looking forward to our chat because you never told me what underwear you were wearing! Ah well. email me a description next time you're at the internet cafe.Here's the wu document you wanted. As you can see the woman was useless. She kept writing the wrong things down. I don't think she could spell verry well or maybe she was a trainee? Anyway, I got someone who knows how to to make the picture small like you said you wanted when we first started writing to each other. so it shouldn't be too large mb : ) Hopefully things will be sorted now as I'm starting to feel sick thinking of you because I miss you so much. I want us to be together NOW!!! I don't know how much longer I can wait. My dick has your name on it!

Daddy Muffin XXXX
My challenge is to get the Vlad to tell me about his undergarments and so far he's resisting but I will not be beaten!

Quote:
Which you to send a file to me is made through Adobe Photoshop CS3
So you can tell to me on it???? You to deceive me???
Such remittance is not present... And you not to send anything to me (((
You are a pity that so to arrive.... And I was in earnest about you (((
All I am afflicted on you
Oh this one's sharp as a tack!

Here come the CAPS!

Quote:
YOU THINK THAT I SO SILLY???????
YOU THINK THAT THE SIMPLE TOY AND YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME????
ANSWER ME QUICKLY.... ALSO IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO ME TO BE JUSTIFIED ABOUT THAT THAT YOU
TO SEND ME MONEY.... I WENT TO BANK AND TO ME HAVE TOLD THAT SUCH TRANSFER
MONEY FOR MY DATA IS NOT PRESENT.... AND FROM SUCH PERSON AS YOU TOO ARE NOT PRESENT
SO IN WHAT BUSINESS???? FOR WHAT YOU TO PLAY WITH ME???? I AFTER ALL WANT TO YOU
SERIOUSLY TO COME..... AND YOU???? WHAT WILL YOU TELL TO ME ON IT????


Quote:
What are you on about baby? I asked some guy at work if he could scan the document and then make it so I can send it to you. I don't know how he made it as I don't know how to do it myself . How have I deceived you I don't understand.


Quote:
IT IS NOT NECESSARY FOR ME TO BE JUSTIFIED....
AND TELL THAT YOU NOT TO SEND MONEY....
I TO UNDERSTAND ALL....
YOU ARE A PITY THAT SUCH....
I AM STRONGLY-STRONGLY AFFLICTED ON YOU


Quote:
Sorry baby but you need to calm down and explain to me what's happened I don't understand why your angry?

xx


Quote:
ALL THE MATTER IS THAT I CAN NOT RECEIVE MONEY THAT YOU TO SEND (((
AND YOU KNOW BUSINESS IN WHAT? IN THAT THAT YOU AND NOT TO SEND ANYTHING TO ME
IF ALL WOULD BE CORRECT, I WOULD RECEIVE FOR A LONG TIME ALREADY MONEY
AND ME HAVE ACCURATELY TOLD THAT SUCH TRANSFER IS NOT PRESENT FROM ANY [name supplied]


Quote:
Well I can see what you mean now. Sweetheart I told you that girl in the wu was fucking useless. Shall I check my bank account and see if the money has been taken?

Just take it easy. Everythings going to be ok I'll sort out what's going on. I knew this would happen.

Love Muffin XXX


Quote:
CHECK.... SHE CAN THIS GIRL IN ALL BE GUILTY
AND CAN BE AND YOU SIMPLY TO DECEIVE ME
FIND OUT.... AND TO WRITE TO ME BACK.... CALL NOW AND FIND OUT


Quote:
Yes darling I will. But first as I told you you need to calm down. It's like your shouting at me and I don't like it. Now when I know you are calm and not upset I'll check my account.

I love you darling let's not fight. Are you calmed down yet?

XXX


Quote:
YES I HAVE CALMED DOWN ALREADY...
CALL AND CHECK
[Think I'll twist the knife a bit]

Quote:
It doesn't seem like you have. why aren't you saying baby, why no kisses, whay no " I'm sorry Muffin." ?


Quote:
CHECK GIVE, TO CALL IN WU OR BANK NOW
AND TO WRITE TO ME BACK QUICKLY... I WAIT
KISS
[A pathetic kiss? He'll need to do better than that]

Quote:
CALL TO THEM NOW.... I WAIT THAT YOU TO TELL
KISSS
[That's better! I like my kisses with lots of sss's]

Quote:
There. That wasn't so hard was it? I send you a kiss back too. X

I'll phone the bank now and find out if the money's been taken out or not. Stay in the internet cafe. I won't be long. While you wait you can write to me and tell me what you're wearing - that would be a nice thing for you to do for me to say sorry.

Love you baby. Won't be long X


Quote:
TO WRITE TO ME THAT TO YOU SPEAK IN BANK


Quote:
Honey, you sound like your angry again. Just calm down will you? It's Friday and the bank closes in half an hour. I'm in the call waiting queue listening to some terrible music at the moment. Hopefully I should get through soon.

So are you wearing black panties? red/ white? or maybe you're not wearing any at all? : )

XXXXX
I want my underwear information and I want it NOW!!

The Vlad goes quiet so there now follows a pretend lengthy wait on the telephone - almost an hour! But I keep the Vlad informed of progress…

Quote:
I'm now 4th in the queue....


Quote:
third in the queue!!!

Are you still in the cafe ?

Quote:

My call will be answered shortly!! Still the same music : (

Are you there baby?


he says after all this time:
Quote:
I here and I wait


I make him wait longer and try for my prize again:
Quote:
I'm talking to the bank she's just gone to check my balance for me. Put me on hold with the same awful music!!!

Come on baby cheer me up. You made me sad. Tell me what underwear you've got on before the woman in the bank gets back : )

XXXX


Quote:
My underwear red, I hope it will lift your mood, but my mood
Very bad I it is very upset.
Laughing

I then decide that "my boss" is going to catch me not doing any work mid-email…

Quote:
Hi baby just got off the phone to the bank. Red underwear eh? Nice. I bet it's all silky and feels nice next to your bottom. As far as the transfer of the money it would seem that we were both right: What happe

Oh shit nmy boss is coming over talk spooo j


Quote:
So what with money?? I and have not understood. You can get old transfer and send
It again and to do scan high quality, I so am upset I so I want to you more faster


Quote:
You here? I will sit here and to wait
Yeah. well he had a long wait. I email again in the middle of the night…

Quote:
hi bay I just go iin from the pub and iim a bit drunk so sorry. first yu were righ t the sttupid bitch at the wu didnt do it right thr bnak bank told me no money was sent. also that bastard steven st work told my bosss about me asing him to do the scan for me and he caught me emailiing you at work and that i went to the wwu from work and igot suspended from work so fuck it. never mind i'll talk to you later baby im toto pissed to write.

i love youoo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


The next day I get this:
Quote:
I WISH TO TELL, THAT YOU WERE NOT UPSET STRONGLY AND NOT TO WORRY
TELL WHEN YOU CAN GO NEXT TIME TO SEND MONEY?
I SO STRONGLY WOULD LIKE TO EMBODY ALL GREATEST SEXUAL
DESIRE AND DREAMS.... AND WE CAN MAKE THEM WITH YOU VERY SOON, THE MAIN THING
THAT YOU TO GO AGAIN SOMEWHAT QUICKER TO SEND MONEY, BUT ALREADY TO CHECK
WHETHER THEY HAVE SENT THEM PRECISELY OR NOT.... SO TELL TO ME WHEN YOU CAN
AGAIN TO GO THERE? OR YOU CAN SEND THEM THROUGH SITE WU
WWW.WESTERNUNION.COM USING THE CREDIT CARD.... WHAT YOU WILL TELL?
LOOK ON THE SITE, THERE THERE IS SUCH OPTION.... I WAIT THE ANSWER.... I MISS ON YOU
AND TO THINK SO IT IS A LOT OF ABOUT YOU..... KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
[Yay! The Kissssses and Hmmm's are back an they're now extra loud!]

This is the last:
Quote:
I TOO SO AM STRONGLY AFFLICTED BY THAT THAT BECAUSE OF THEIR ERROR OUR MEETING IS POSTPONED (((
SO TELL TO ME WHEN YOU CAN GO AGAIN TO SEND MONEY? I MISS ON YOU
ALSO I THINK OF US WITH YOU..... AS YOU ARE A PITY THAT TODAY NOT WITH ME.... IT IS A PITY SO IT IS A PITY (((
BUT ALL DEPENDS ON YOU, OUR MEETING, THAN EARLIER YOU WILL HELP ME TO THOSE
FASTER WE WILL MEET YOU..... TO WRITE TO ME IT IS FAST.... I WAIT YOUR ANSWER...
KISSSSSSSSSSSSS


Well, unfortunately when the boss finds this Vlad's saucy photos on my computer I have a feeling I'm going to get sacked for downloading pornography. Now, if only the vlad could SCAN a nice long hand-written letter explaining everything maybe I can keep my job? Wink

Love Phil X

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Phil Yerboots
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 1:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The Vlad's back and he's stopped shouting. In fact I think we may be kissing and making up but it's not all good news -- looks like I might get fired…

I sent this :
Quote:
Hi honey orchid.

How are you? I've been better to be honest. My boss called me this morning and said don't come into work because of what happened with the time I took off to go to the Wu and the emails to you when I should have been working and obviously the time I spent talking to the bank on the office phone. But worse than that they looked in my computer at work and found where I had of all your pictures and now they've accused me of downloading pornography!! which is a an offence and that I could be sacked for! Darling you need to do me a big favour - you need to explain that it's private pictures that you took for me and that we're boyfriend and girlfriend and in love and all that. (Which is true isn't it? because I do love you very much.) Can you hand write it though I don't think typed in an email will work because they'll probably say I typed it myself. You know how to do scans don't you? ( I don't - as you already know!) Can you do that for me baby? I could lose my job otherwise. Then I promise you I'll take care of you. forget £500 you can have whatever you want as much as you want because to be truthful darling what's mine is yours now. As soon as I can get back to my job from being suspended we can start being a proper couple, partners you know. But obviously if you can send the letter as soon as you can because I think that will explain to them that you're not pornography you're my little wild orchid XXX

Here's my bosses email for you to send the letter to.

[email protected]

Thanks baby. I know you won't let me down - then we can get sorted and be together.

Your Muffin man XXXXXXXX


And I get this in return:
Quote:
I to write to your boss.... I hope that he all will understand)
How you? Tell well when you will go again in WU and you will send money???
To write to me it is fast... I very much want to you and very strongly I wish to see you!!!
So not faster to help me.... I wish to see you and I want that we were together
kissssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Now that's a proper kissss Hmmmm?

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joseywales
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

if she(he) really writes the letter for you to your boss, time for the boss to get interested in her. after all, he'd doesn't mind stealing another man's girlfriend after seeing her pics. Twisted Evil

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Phil Yerboots
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha! I like your thinking Josey. Very Happy Thanks for the response.

In fact the Vlad's gone a bit quiet these past couple of days. I'm sure he suspects he's been played. I'll leave it a bit longer and if I don't get anything I think my boss will be contacting her direct (letter or no letter) as of course he's lifted her email address off my work computer and then, well, it'll be time to give the roundabout another push!

Love Phil X

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The Vlad is back and he loves me again!! I'm so happy I could shit!

I sent this late last night:

Quote:
Just wanted to say sweet dreams my darling I had hoped that you might write to me today to tell me you miss me or love me and that you had sent the letter to my boss. But you haven't. It's going to look pretty bad for me if this goes on too long so I hope you can do it tomorrow. Then we can concentrate on getting you your money so you van buy yourself new clothes (and underwear : ) ) and then come to see me. if £500 isn't enough - I don't know how expensive things are in russia - then don't be embarassed to ask sweetheart. Your happiness and being with me are the most important things in my life right now.

goodnight darling

Muffin XXXXXXXXX


Here's the replies I've just received:

Quote:
Muffin
I wish to tell that strongly-strongly I miss on you and very strongly I want
To see you as soon as possible..... I to write already to your boss....[this is a lie, I checked] Also I hope that
he to read all that that I to write to him.... Also understands that we communicate with you and want
To see each other very fast.... You such attentive and such careful))
Tell when you can send me money? To write me number and number of day
If you want that you can send me approximately 800 pounds sterling if
You want, and then I will buy many the most sexual toys and very beautiful
And a lot of beautiful bottom linen... You will be happy.... You to send to me 800?
Laughing
Or it is a lot of for you? Tell you want that I to look very smart?)))
I hope that you would like it and you can send to me 800 and then I will not be
What to require when I will arrive and I will bring to you a beautiful sexual gift
And you can use it on me.... Or not.... At own discretion.... Tell to me
Well when you will go to send money? I do not wish to wait more.... Also I wish to see you
Very soon also I hope that we will do beautiful sexual things very soon)
And you will be my sexual daddy))) to write to me soon and to inform rather
That when you will send money? ok...... hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Certainly I miss on you and I think so much.....
Kissssssssssssssssssssssssssss

So operate more likely that we could see each other very fast)))
I want you and I wish to do pleasant sexual things with you))) Kissssssssssssss
But now our meeting depends on you.... And your desire...)))
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm [check out that Hmmm!]
Hurry up..... Rolling Eyes

I think of you and I miss so strongly)))


I love this Vlad. I'll be SO sad when he realises there's no money for him to buy "beautiful bottom linen" and we have to part. I do hope I can keep screwing with him. But should it all go pear-shaped the randy Boss (money AND Power) is waiting in the wings…

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The continuing saga of Yoda (Hmmmmmm) and the quest for the colour of his bottom linen…
From me:
Quote:
Hi darling. I just rang my boss and he said he hasn't got any emailed letter from you. You made me look a right fool and now he's even angrier at me for wasting his time. Did you send the letter to the right email? its [email protected] tell me what's going on baby. This is REALLY important I know you understand that and don't want to see me lose my job.

Lots of love and kisses baby orchid XX

your Muffin XX

Quote:
Yes I to write to him still for a long time already
Here such letter

Hello
I Maria from Russia)))
XXXX <[email protected]>
He/she is my new acquaintance which to me very much to like)
It not a pornostudio photo.... These are my personal photos!
So not to interfere with development of our relations!
thanks for understanding

Well I'm not happy about the hermaphrodite reference but I'm particularly annoyed at the laziness!
Quote:
Hi honey.
Sorry but you're joking aren't you? Are you seriously saying that that is what you sent him? Come on baby, you must know that he'll never believe that - anyone could have written it. If you're serious about this then it at least needs to start with something like

Dear Mr Phillips,

My name is [email protected] [email protected] from Saratov in Russia. I write to you because etc etc

Surely you understand that? I know you're not stupid or lazy but you need to do this please. You're making things worse not better!! to be honest if you can't do this little thing for me when you're partly to blame for getting me in trouble in the first place then I would have to think hard whether you really care about me the way that you say you do. Please write a proper letter in handwriting and sign it and take a picture or however you get it into the computer and send it to my boss as soon as possible!! Send me a copy too please so I know that you've done it. If you help me then I'll help you and send the money but I'm not doing it until you've got me out of tthis mess.

I love you darling please prove you love me.

Muffin XXXXX


Quote:
Dear Mr Phillips

My name is [email protected] Farhu11ina from Saratov in Russia. I write to you because we communicate
With Mr. Sxxx Sxxx and our relations are serious and deserving
Trust and attention.... All the photo which I to send have been voluntary sent
Me also are original, as well as my letters and words told in him
The address... I hope that now you are convinced of honesty of your subordinate [Shocked ] and not
Will dismiss him because of that that in working hours he to give to me a little the
Time to write me letters and to look at my photos.... Yours faithfully
Maria.

So now I'm an hermaphroditic slave! She's not happy though…
Quote:
I TO WRITE HIM SUCH LETTER AND TO SEND THE PHOTO, NOT THE NAKED PHOTO, NORMAL
PHOTO MYSELF) I HOPE THAT NOW HE THE PORNOACTRESS) WILL NOT THINK THAT

And still not to like me your tone concerning money.... You think that I to do
All for the sake of money only??? If you so to think that you the full fool.... I am simple
I wish to see you as soon as possible and consequently I require this money
To arrive to you it is very fast..... If you not so want
To see me and simply to play over me that do conclusions itself... Or I will make
Concerning all that that you to write a conclusion and wrote when or
I wait the answer.... To write to me it is fast
Also know that I not the whore


Quote:
Hey baby. I understand. I know you want to see me as much as I want to see you. I've never been anything but nice to you. I have NEVER called you a whore. You shouldn't think that. I've already told you 100 times I don't mind sending you money - the money is for us to be together and I'd happily spend 100 times that much just to see you. I am just very worried about getting my job back. So if I phone my boss now he will have the letter you sent will he? I take it you just sent him an email not a hand written letter? Well that will have to do I suppose.

It shouldn't be long now before we can FINALLY sort out your travel arrangements.

Love you loads sweetheart

Muffin XXX


Quote:
I to send him the letter.... That I to send the same to you
Kissssssssssssssssssssss


Quote:
Ok darling thank you I'll telephone him now and write back to you straight away if you can wait in the internet cafe

Kisses to you too XXXXXXX


I wait about 10 minutes and then send this:

Quote:
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT? I just rang my boss a second time and he hasn't had any email or letter or whatever from you he thinks I'm messing him about for fucks sake he's just told me that I needn't bother coming in if I'm going to be a fool about this well you've made me look like a fool.

Why would you do that? Why are you trying to ruin everything?

Why?

Why?


Quote:
I TO SEND TO HIM FROM SUCH LETTER
HERE ON THIS E-MAIL [email protected]

Dear Mr Phillips

My name is [email protected] [email protected] from Saratov in Russia. I write to you because we communicate
With Mr. Sxxxx Sxxxx and our relations are serious and deserving
Trust and attention.... All the photo which I to send have been voluntary sent
Me also are original, as well as my letters and words told in him
The address... I hope that now you are convinced of honesty of your subordinate and not
Will dismiss him because of that that in working hours he to give to me a little the
Time to write me letters and to look at my photos.... Yours faithfully
Maria.

IF YOUR BOSS STUPID..... THEN AND HERE I????????????????????????????
AND IN GENERAL NOT TO LIKE ME YOUR TONE (((((((
I TO MAKE ALL AS YOU TO ASK..... SO IN WHAT HAS PUT???
YOUR BOSS STUPID CAN IS SIMPLE.... OR IT IS SIMPLE HE PLAYS WITH YOU
YOU TO THINK OF IT???? AND HERE I???.... I TO WRITE FOR A LONG TIME ALREADY TO HIM....


Quote:
Ok darling. I don't know what's going on. Maybe my boss is playing with me. he is a bit of a bastard. I didn't mean to be angry maybe he's got some kind of spam mail thing so your letter didn't get to him. I'm going to email him with your email address if that's ok and then hopefully he will have your address and what you send to him won't go in his spambox

Love you baby XXX


Quote:
PROBABLY THESE LETTERS FROM ME LAY AT HIM WITH SPAM TO THE FOLDER
OR HE HAS SIMPLY REMOVED THEM ALREADY OR DID NOT LOOK EVEN
HERE I TO SPEAK THAT HE STUPID


Quote:
Ha ha!! You said it baby!! I reckon he is stupid! You are a very good judge of character. I think you are beautiful and wise and clever and everything a man could wish for. Well done you!! What colour underwear are you wearing today?

Muffin XX


But answer came there none…ah well. Maybe I'll find out what colour tomorrow when the Vlad is sure to be asking about my money transfer plans. Meanwhile, I think The Boss will be emailing in the morning to enquire from the young lady just what all this hullaballoo is about.

_________________
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Last edited by Phil Yerboots on Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Phil Yerboots
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The lying Vlad just sent the email which he swore blind he'd already sent to the boss.

Let the games begin!! Twisted Evil

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joseywales
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Joined: 25 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Does she know if your boss informed you that he got her email? if not then, maybe the boss refuses to acknowledge that he got her letter about you and he will want to start a romance with her on the side. so long as his wife doesn't find out. wonder if she'll be his mistress if the price is right? Twisted Evil but he'll keep denying to you and refuses to give you your job back. oh, the agony. you're playing her so good. she's (he) probably already has pick out Christmas gifts for his friends and himself. banghead christmas is going to be sad for him if he's waiting on your money great baiting clapping

_________________
you pizdabol
you suka
I HATE YOU!!!!!
YOU The Latest creature!!!!!
YOU The Mongrel!!!
KISS ME IN THE ASS!!! ; from sweet Elena






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Phil Yerboots
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha! Evil minds think alike, Josey! The letter from the boss was received - but what would my Vlad say?

The boss sent this:
Quote:
Dear Ms [email protected],

While your loyalty to Mr Sxxxx is touching, I have to say that it is highly improper for an employee to use his work time to correspond with his girlfriend; and I take a rather dim view of it to be frank. He has not indicated to me that taking almost half a day off to visit a Western Union office in the city, spending inordinate amounts of time writing emails (apparently to you), bothering our art department for copies of documents and keeping photographs of a highly pornographic nature (whether sent voluntarily or not) on his computer is in any way forgivable. I have every intention to dismiss him from his employment permanently, no matter how much he begs. To be brutally honest, Mr Sxxxx is an idiot. Warm-hearted, trusting and generous but an idiot nonetheless. This opportunity to fire him is almost too good to miss. I would like to know exactly what you find so attractive in someone so lacking in merit.

I look forward to your reply,

Yours Sincerely,

David Phillips (Director)
Consultant Operations

And the Vlad goes into overdrive! Never has so much been done by so few for so little!

WARNING!! The following contains hilarious sexy talk of an EXTREMELY explicit nature and is NSFW

Quote:
hey it im again
I write to you again, your boss has written to me. And it was not pleasant to me that he has written,
He spoke about you bad words both I have answered him also all have explained and asked not to dismiss you.
I have written that I soon to arrive in your country and we with you to explain all to him. [all lies. she hasn't sent anything]
Your boss
Has seemed to me very rough and not cultural, it was not pleasant to me that he badly spoke about you.
I now will not write much, simply to you I want to tell that I want as soon as possible I want to you.
I will not write any more to your boss and I think that he will not listen to me or simply not to believe.
Will think that you write it to him and that have thought up about me. When I will arrive, we to go and speak
With yours barefooted if he will want and then he will see, that was mistaken and that we are happy also I then I think
Will envy our love. Well I hope that you first aid to me with these 800 pound and we meeting.
I hope that you to make it to Friday as you promised, hope tomorrow, I hope for it that tomorrow.
I want to buy the ticket for Saturday and here I this want to buy the ticket:

Start: MOSCOW (SHEREMETYEVO) 10:30 Saturday 27 November 2010
Arrival: AMSTERDAM (SCHIPHOL) 12:00 Saturday 27 November 2010
Airline: Aeroflot, Flight of the plane: SU 229, Airplane: Airbus Industrie A320

Start: AMSTERDAM (SCHIPHOL) 13:35 Saturday 27 November 2010
Arrival: BRISTOL (BRISTOL) 13:50 Saturday 27 November 2010
Airline: KLM, Flight of the plane: KL 1053, Airplane: Fokker 70

It see from the ticket I will be in England on Saturday in the afternoon. And I it will be happy,
Because I will hold you in the embraces!!! My plan such, I hope that you to send money
On Thursday or Friday in the morning or in the afternoon and I to go Moscow and on Saturday I will be in England.
I hope you me a meeting in the airport, I very much want to see as soon as possible and I very much want you.
And at once from the airport we to go with you in a bed, and to have a lot of wild mad sex!!!
I so want it, I so want you Simon, but I have more to like to name you Muffin or you
It would be desirable, what I would name you daddy??
Oh mine sexy, it to like me, this excitation.
As soon as we one, oral sex would be fine to have a lot of, I want to give and take,
But it only the beginning. I want to pull white lacy stockings hardly above knees to become
On knees and you will approach to me behind,
And then I to lay down a head on a pillow and you slowly, but hard to enter into mine ass!!!
At first slowly, but then all faster and faster, both I will groan also you all faster and faster,
While you not cum on my back and mine ass!!! Then we rest a little, can little bit champagne.
And then again sex, sex, sex. But now I would like cum on face and a breast!!! Representation as it it was fine.
We can all weekend not to leave a bed! On Monday we to go in your boss and all to explain him.
But I do not want now about him, so excitation by thoughts on sex, between my feet wet, [Shocked] I very much want you Muffin!
I you want to ask not to be engaged while masturbating, I want all cum on Saturday, patience please till Saturday. [Laughing]
I to finish now the letter and to go home, I will think of you and I will miss. I hope to see tomorrow
Your letter with details transfer so I want more faster to you, you cannot present.
I kiss you on all your body my sweet Muffin!!!
Your forever Maria, your wild orchid

Isn't that a sweet letter? If I didn't have to save it all up for Saturday I'd be overcome!
Then just to be sure the Vlad goes on the internet and copies and pastes the details of this:

Quote:
Again I, I here have now come on a site www.westernunion.com and have found many offices where you could send money.
I copy it for you, I to go home, already late and I to sleep, I hope to see you in my dreams, Kisses you my lovely, here offices:

1) CHEQUES AND CHANGE WINE STREET
33 Wine Street
Bristol, BS1 2BQ
tel. +44-117-9304983

Hide Hours of Operation
Monday: 08:30 - 17:30
Tuesday: 08:30 - 17:30
Wednesday: 08:30 - 17:30
Thursday: 08:30 - 17:30
Friday: 08:30 - 17:30
Saturday: 08:30 - 17:30
Sunday: 11:00 - 17:00

-----------------------------------
and NINE others.

Well, all that hard work should be rewarded. But unfortunately since I've been fired I don't think it would be a good time for my darling Vlad to visit. Which is a shame as I really wanted to see those stockings hardly above knees. Wink

_________________
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Phil Yerboots
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The Boss is interested in my Vlad and has a proposition to make:

Quote:
Dear Maria,

I do hope you don't mind me being so familiar but, after all, I have already seen quite a lot of you! I must say, looking at your photographs, I can see why Mr Sxxxx was so enamoured of you. You are quite a delicious young thing aren't you? And obviously someone who knows how to make the most of her considerable assets!

But, to business! I thought it only right to inform you that I will shortly be sending Mr Sxxxx his letter of dismissal from my company but hope that you will bear me no ill-will. After all, what would you do if you were in my position? He quite clearly breached many, if not all, of the stringent rules and guidelines we have in place for the efficient running of a successful company - of which I am Director. Fortunately, these rules don't necessarily apply to me as I am the one who set them so I fully intend to enjoy your candid and intimate portraits here in my office suite and at my leisure.

It is with this in mind, that I wondered if you would be interested in a proposition. I find myself in a rather loveless marriage but one which, for appearance sake, I must continue and endure. My sweet girl, if you were to find that your relationship with Mr Sxxx was no longer something you wished to pursue - he is, after all, about to be unemployed and in these difficult, financial times I think he will be extremely unlikely to find another job quickly - then as a mistress, to me, I can assure you wholeheartedly that you would be more than compensated for your services.

I remain yours, affectionately,

Dxxxx Pxxxxx (Director)
[email protected] [email protected]

P.S. Mr Sxxxx, of course, has no idea that I have received your email explaining your involvement with him and no knowledge of this email either. It will be our little secret.


Will she fall for this ageing Lothario? Or does her heart belong to Daddy Muffin?

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
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Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 3:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This Vlad is well and truly hooked! I think I'll have him stuffed and mounted on my wall. He sends me this:
Quote:
My dear, your boss full shit, is meanness the person. I have now written him the letter.
But I do not want to speak now about it the degenerate. I with him am upset also I is not happy.
I am very upset by your letter, I do not need many money, you are necessary to me!!!
I simply would ask your help that I could arrive to you. You all that are necessary for me.
You cannot understand it? I do not want to wait more and expectation will not make me
The happy. I cannot write, on my eyes of tear, I frustration, [yeah. frustrated you're not seeing any money!]
I thought that in Saturday we already a meeting, I to go home and to cry, I thought you love me.
If you do not want the help to me with arrival, and tell. I that need to beg you?
Also do not speak give we will wait, I do not want it to listen, I want to love you and
I want to be near to you and I do not want to wait more. I to go home, I upset,
I to come tomorrow internet cafe and I hope to see good news and that on Saturday we a meeting.
What for these letters, these sexual dreams and all plans? If it is all remains
Only letters, I want that it is all became a reality. I have got tired to wait.
Kiss You my sweet Muffin, but I am very upset
Your forever Maria

Ahh…forever and forever and for as long as I can make him suffer! But what of the randy boss? Seems he wasn't lying about the letter to him We all know this Vlad can talk dirty but he's also got a potty-mouth!
Quote:
I am extremely revolted by your letter, your letter impudent and It is not
worthy men.
You the meanness person, I never will agree on your offer. And let Simon
Temporarily remains without work, my feelings to him will be former. I love him.
And you severely were mistaken, if consider me as the prostitute and that I will
agree
On your offer. I saw many meanness people, but you the king of meanness.
You an animal and the meanness, you the insult me, but to you luck, that while
I Simon will not speak anything about it. I will not speak anything to him,
While I not to arrive in England and not to be convinced, that the он will not
do
Irreparable things. I know his character, and is assured that if the он about it
finds out,
That to go and simply to kill you. But I when will be together with him,
I to tell to him about it, and I hope to a smog to convince, that it is not
necessary
To soil hands about such shit as you and that you are not worthy, what from for
you in prison.
Dear Mr. Dxxxx Pxxxxx (Director) fuck off, there is no time any more no write
to me, fuck you

With sincere NO respect

NEVER yours Maria

Think I'll let him stew a bit. I am, after all, VERY sad. Very Happy

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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Phil Yerboots
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Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This may be the last we hear of the boss I don't think my Vlad is too keen!

Sent this:
Quote:
My Dear Maria,

I can see that the old adage about redheads is true. You are certainly a hot-blooded, fiery little minx and, I must say, all the more attractive for it. I think your loyalty to Mr Sxxxx is very touching but naive. This is the real world my dear. There are no princes on horseback to rescue you from the castle and while you say that you wish to have nothing to do with me, I believe that in time, when you realise how pathetic Mr Sxxxx is, that you may look more favourably on my offer. I'm not looking for you to prostitute yourself, I merely wish to have a beautiful, young companion to place upon my arm so that I can be the envy of all the other company directors and members of parliament when I turn up to their dinners and awards ceremonies. I am a successful man. I am betting that you wish to be a successful woman. After all, why have the chicken when you can have the beef?

I shall forgive your rudeness out of respect for your "love" for Mr Sxxxx who, incidentally, rang me this afternoon. Poor man. He really was quite upset. I told him these internet romances rarely end happily and that it would be best if he forgot all about you.

Yours Affectionately,

Dxxxx Pxxxx (Director)
[email protected] Operations

Doubt whether I'll get a reply but I hope my Vlad is fuming that this lecherous old goat is fucking everything up! Meanwhile I'm too sad and too drunk to check my mail so friday's money deadline will come…and go.

Now where's that bottle of Jack…

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
View user's profileSend private message
Phil Yerboots
Elite Baiter


Joined: 29 Oct 2009
Posts: 1342
Location: Back in Asena's sandbox


PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 11:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hmmmmmmm…I think my vlad may have decided enough is enough as I haven't heard for a while. Still all good things must come to an end and I'll always have the memories of her red "beautiful bottom linen" and her "wet feet".

I sent this rather pathetic plea:
Quote:
Hi my darling. Well.'ve been fired. I talked to Phillips - hes my boss - and he advised me to forget all about u. He said that the inrernet isn't a good place to find love but we found it didn't we? So I told him I couldn't forget you or leave you when weve been through so much together. And he said I was a fool and that because of u I'd just ruined my career. I told him i didn't care so I've been pretty bad this last couple of days. Sitting in my dressng gown, smoking, watching tv, eating cereal out of the box and drinking a whole bottle of whiskey yesterday. Today Ive on the vodka next and think of u my beautiful orchid and raise a toast to your wonderful russian homeland!!
But I must say sorry because I've been doing nothing n now it's getting dark and anyway I'm too pissed too drive anywhere so i feel bad that i didn't even make it to go out of the house let alone go to any wu places. but honestly you wouldn't want to be with me now because i haven't even been in the shower. do you hate me? i feel like I let you down after u went to all that trouble to find out the flights and get ready for coming to england. but if I know that you still love me and you aren't disappointed in me then I know I can pull myself out of this dark hole and then pull myself off into yours. ha ha that was just a little joke Im trying to look on the bright side. You are my bright side darling and I need your strength more than ever.

I know it all looks bad but i promise promise promise i will make it good. im already thinking ofg something but i want it to be surprise.

thinkng of yuo always and forever and ever
muffin xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


So I'm hoping to surprise her with a trip to russia! So much easier if I come to see her - after all, with no job but a fair amount of savings I think I might start a new life in the land of the bear!

Love Phil X

_________________
Closed lad accounts Sand Timer Safari Ibadan-Abidjan-Bouake (with Dr Mike & The Monsignor) "i sleep in the park again and am scaring" Ebay Tattoo (with SheepFishing)
Todger Club (Class of 2013)
"I want your head on a platter between my slapping breast-buds." Doughnut
"You are sick and need medical attention. I just realised." Pee
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