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 Biblical misquotes

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PsycheDelia_Smith
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Got this little beauty from "Harrison Osholo"([email protected]), whose name is sooo easy to mispronounce on the phone :

Quote:
MY SISTER PLEASE DON,T HOW CAN THAT YOUR SO CALL BARRISTER SAY TO YOU AM A SCAM AND YOU WILL BELIEVE HIM
You know one thing my lovely sister, George not so that you will not be George
that is what the bible said


Confused

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"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0

"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo

Golden Pith "Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)


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Amigwyn
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Good advice. It is a sin to be George! Georges are evil! Evil or Very Mad

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Ima Baeder
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing

That's hilarious.

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wowwow
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

*Pffffttt*, there goes the tea through the nostrils again.
Did he say 'Blessed are the cheesemakers?'
And the Georges, how come the Georges get all the attention!

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evil_sheep
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

wowwow wrote:
Did he say 'Blessed are the cheesemakers?'


Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers?

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 8:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hamlad wrote:
To George or not to George? Now that is a question.

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PsycheDelia_Smith
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

No matter how hard I try, when I speak to him by phone his name comes out as 'Arsehole Harris' Laughing

Quote:
please my name is Harrison and not what you think ok


Nope, still didn't get it.

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SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0

"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo

Golden Pith "Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)


9x Safari 4 x Lagos-Accra , 3x Port Harcourt - Ibadan, 1x Lagos-Singapore, 1x Burkina-Bamako
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 2:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

.. he must be the Messiah!
Ask him if he is divine, as only the true messiah denies his divinity. If he then tells you to fuck off, we will indeed know.

Image

Quote:
No matter how hard I try, when I speak to him by phone his name comes out as 'Arsehole Harris'

Ah the old 'arsehole Harris' or 'Arris', cockney slang for Aristotle .. bottle .. bottle and glass .. arse .. Don't ask ..

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Last edited by wowwow on Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PsycheDelia_Smith
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

..mind you, I have to admit I'm not trying that hard.
Now the 'Harris' rhyming slang's covered, what's the George and cheese connection? Just a curious Brit asking.

_________________
SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0

"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo

Golden Pith "Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)


9x Safari 4 x Lagos-Accra , 3x Port Harcourt - Ibadan, 1x Lagos-Singapore, 1x Burkina-Bamako
Netherlands Nigeria Ghana South Africa
Sand Timer'Ed', 3 yrs 8 mnths Sand Timer'Oguguo',6 years and 4 months
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evil_sheep
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

http://www.freerangephotography.co.uk/MDg3-o/p36.htm#i2551

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"Get out. If you mail me again, i will destroy your mailbox." - Clydesdale Bank PLC.
"picece of shit gett off here junkie" "arse hole like u" "u r a bullshit around the corner" "fuck off and die" "is that how you write ur father?" "do u need some crack from Brazil?" "please leave me alone" - Dr. Mohamed Gaza

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:
..mind you, I have to admit I'm not trying that hard.
Now the 'Harris' rhyming slang's covered, what's the George and cheese connection? Just a curious Brit asking.


Biblical misquotes .. Month Python's Life of Brian .. sermon on the mount .. never seen it? .. never mind .. go download/rent/blag a copy and enjoy.

evil_sheep ... pity nobody named Richard 'or Dick' Cheese
.. hey Dicky! .. Dicky Cheese you old sod, missed you at that party last week when I copped off with Marjory Pissflaps.

Ho hum.

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evil_sheep
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

wowwow wrote:
Month Python's Life of Brian


Widely accepted as the greatest film of all time. Smile

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"I thank you for your quick massage this morning. " - Prince Abdul Hakeem
"u lied. i know u as black man" - Timothy Fred
"Get out. If you mail me again, i will destroy your mailbox." - Clydesdale Bank PLC.
"picece of shit gett off here junkie" "arse hole like u" "u r a bullshit around the corner" "fuck off and die" "is that how you write ur father?" "do u need some crack from Brazil?" "please leave me alone" - Dr. Mohamed Gaza

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PsycheDelia_Smith
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yes. So, where does the George/Cheese connection come from?

_________________
SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0

"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo

Golden Pith "Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)


9x Safari 4 x Lagos-Accra , 3x Port Harcourt - Ibadan, 1x Lagos-Singapore, 1x Burkina-Bamako
Netherlands Nigeria Ghana South Africa
Sand Timer'Ed', 3 yrs 8 mnths Sand Timer'Oguguo',6 years and 4 months
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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

John Cleese was originally John Cheese. But that's just a coincidence.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 180
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
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wowwow
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:
Yes. So, where does the George/Cheese connection come from?

Still? hang on I'll get some paper and crayons and draw you a nice diagram.

Rolling Eyes

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OK IF THERE IS A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD IS THAT ENOUGH PROOF Devil Killer Squad
YOU CALL THE F B I BASTARDS. YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS. WE HAVE TRACED YOU WITH ALL YOUR DETAILS FBI WARNS
I am the person who owns the safe firm in UK but right now on sick bed for my heart surgery due to my heart failure M Efosa
Tell them to go to hell and burn to arches Prince Jerry Zulusofola
I don’t have job, I am a hacker, hacking jawing stick and Sachet water Udeh Ebuka
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=162469
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PsycheDelia_Smith
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Biblical misquotes .. Month Python's Life of Brian .. sermon on the mount .. never seen it? .. never mind .. go download/rent/blag a copy and enjoy.

evil_sheep ... pity nobody named Richard 'or Dick' Cheese
.. hey Dicky! .. Dicky Cheese you old sod, missed you at that party last week when I copped off with Marjory Pissflaps.

Ho hum.


Diagram not necessary, thanks. Since I haven't seen the film, a simple clue about how the cheese and George, or cheese and biblical misquote connection is made will suffice.
Unless the explanation is somewhere within what you wrote above, but I'll bet I'm not alone in not seeing it. Laughing

_________________
SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0

"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo

Golden Pith "Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)


9x Safari 4 x Lagos-Accra , 3x Port Harcourt - Ibadan, 1x Lagos-Singapore, 1x Burkina-Bamako
Netherlands Nigeria Ghana South Africa
Sand Timer'Ed', 3 yrs 8 mnths Sand Timer'Oguguo',6 years and 4 months
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Dr chou en ginsberg
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 9:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

In "the Life of Brian " a group of citizens are at the very back of the crowd during the Sermon on the Mount , and miss hear the phrase "Blessed are the Peacemakers" as "Blessed are the cheesemakers " hence the reference to "Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products." as one guy asks "whats so bloody special about cheesemakers" , i think the rest of the thread proves how many Monty Python fans frequent this forum ?(and it IS a very funny film , you really must watch it)
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PsycheDelia_Smith
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 10:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ah, that's better, thanks Smile

_________________
SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0

"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo

Golden Pith "Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)


9x Safari 4 x Lagos-Accra , 3x Port Harcourt - Ibadan, 1x Lagos-Singapore, 1x Burkina-Bamako
Netherlands Nigeria Ghana South Africa
Sand Timer'Ed', 3 yrs 8 mnths Sand Timer'Oguguo',6 years and 4 months
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jose_cuervo
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 1:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

/\/\/\ I didn't get it either. Laughing

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wowwow
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 1:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:

Diagram not necessary, thanks. Since I haven't seen the film, a simple clue about how the cheese and George, or cheese and biblical misquote connection is made will suffice.
Unless the explanation is somewhere within what you wrote above, but I'll bet I'm not alone in not seeing it. Laughing


Awww .. here you go then .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slbMe-aTY1A
Enjoy

BTW,
Here is another one, not necessarily a misquote but the spaces between the syllables is quite funny.

Quote:
You put us in pain, thinking rejected and dejected, i shed tears i never shed ever in my life time at Abeokuta, later God took me to the Lords pray the portion that says
"FOR GIVE US OUR TRESS PASSES AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESS PASS AGAINST US"

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Please do not contact anybody again expect me on here because they are many hijackers on internet SGT Tony Benson
OK IF THERE IS A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD IS THAT ENOUGH PROOF Devil Killer Squad
YOU CALL THE F B I BASTARDS. YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS. WE HAVE TRACED YOU WITH ALL YOUR DETAILS FBI WARNS
I am the person who owns the safe firm in UK but right now on sick bed for my heart surgery due to my heart failure M Efosa
Tell them to go to hell and burn to arches Prince Jerry Zulusofola
I don’t have job, I am a hacker, hacking jawing stick and Sachet water Udeh Ebuka
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=162469
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PsycheDelia_Smith
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 5:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ahhhh...yeeess..I see.

_________________
SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0

"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo

Golden Pith "Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)


9x Safari 4 x Lagos-Accra , 3x Port Harcourt - Ibadan, 1x Lagos-Singapore, 1x Burkina-Bamako
Netherlands Nigeria Ghana South Africa
Sand Timer'Ed', 3 yrs 8 mnths Sand Timer'Oguguo',6 years and 4 months
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 8:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:
Since I haven't seen the film,


Heretic!!! Persecute her!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 7:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
in accordance to the verse GO into all the world and preach the
good news to all creation.whoever believes and is baptized will be
condemned.i
n my name they will drive out demons.they will speak in new
tongues they will place their hands on sick people and they will get
well;Mark16;15 iam working in accordance with this verse.


Confused

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^What?! Shocked The baptized are damned. What f**ked up logic on the lad's behalf Laughing

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