"So please let us do three-day fasting and prayer"

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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:15 am

So saith one of my latest Lads.

It began with:

Quote:

Compliment of the season to you and your entire family and I pray that may the almighty lord guard you and your family.
Let me start by introducing myself properly, I am D3SM0ND 3Y4D3M4, the son of the late Ex PRESIDENT of TOGO in WEST AFRICA but based on one condition we are here right in Accra Ghana now, I call you in respect of my consignment box in LONDON, which I want you to assist me and stand as my foreign beneficiary to receive my fund over there in LONDON,

Yada yada yada...

A couple of messages later, Captain Mal had to ask:

Quote:

The next question is, why me? I don't understand why I've been chosen for this.

This is why:

Quote:

You are welcome this is the reason why you are chosen for this business. First before we send to you this message we first pray to God to direct us two was our way of meeting a reliable, safe confident foreign beneficiary. Who can stand as a man or woman thanks God the nest day when we send a message to 5foriegn beneficiary you are the only person that get back to us with positive update and readiness
This is the reason why my mother said you are the kind of person we are just looking for that God has don every thing for us one we did not know you by name or my Email before on thing I with my mother get to Kotoka International Airport in Accra Ghana that was well we have you details right in the beneficiary list

Well, I decided to throw a curve ball (or bowl a googly, depending on your sport):

Quote:

As someone without any real faith, I find that tale of how you found me a bit odd. Someone must have given you my details for the short list, and I'm damned if I know anyone in that part of the world. The only part of Africa I was in for any length of time was Somalia, and that was in 1993.
I've attached a couple of pix - one is of me and my girlfriend Suzie - so I should see some pix of you and your mama soon, I hope.

That scored a hit, of sorts!

Quote:

may the almighty lord Jesus Christ guard and portent you and your
family, because a life without Christ is chaises life,
so please God sent foreign beneficiary,
I am my mama receiver your message and is was very right and
understanding to us, that remand i am my mama that we have fund what
we are be praying day and night looking for because we believe in
life at any time of need Jesus never fails his disciple...

Quote:

So please kindly help put every thing in prayer waiting for the
security company in London green light
To informed you the amount you are going to send to them security
company in London,
Thanks have a wonderful day together with your loving girlfriend
Suzie so please fight the rein fight of faith
Have believe Jesus can make any deference one thing in life believe
work by faith not by darting what you know that is rein okay.

Mal didn't shift ground:

Quote:

When I say I have no faith, I am being serious. Nothing I have seen in Iraq or Somalia, or anywhere else, gives me any reason to believe that any supernatural force guides our destinies.

This provoked quite a reply:

Quote:

I with my mama receiver your message said you have no faith that you have be serious nothing
So please what do you think abort life we all are the children of the God the father and his only son you remember God sent his only be gutting son to satisfy for those who believe in him Jesus the creator and the eternal son of God who lived a sinless life. Not only had that also loved us so much that he died for our sins. Taking the punishment that we deserve was buried rose from the dead according to the bible
So please if you truly believe and trust in your heart receiving Jesus alone as your savior declaring Jesus is lord you well be save and have faith from the judgment and spend eternity life with God in heave
So please faith is not by power or by my as a man of you safe all you have to do just said this I have a faith in human perfectibility a man life without Jesus Christ is not appreciable to God that is a life of effect and crises.
So please you must live to have faith because a son of man follow rules on good paths so please learn how to fast and pray for your faith receiving from lord Jesus that is the only way you can make a Good deference of receiving of faith, please kindly do that Jesus love you so am with my mama is going to put every thing in fasting and prayer for you sake alone,
So please let us do three-day fasting and prayer waiting this transaction that you are abort to lead an on for God to have his only way, i with my mama is fully ready to do any for God to answers and grate us his Godly mind
So faith is by giving and receiving

Good grief...

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:59 am

Quote:

God sent his only be gutting son

I thought Jesus was a carpenter... turns out he was a butcher Smile

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 12:18 pm

start talking about voodoo to test his reaction Razz

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:35 pm

Don't reply for five days, and tell them you got over-engrossed in your fasting and praying. Smile

Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 11:36 am

Or start talking about Okija Shrine.

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:55 am

sunshine wrote:

Quote:

God sent his only be gutting son

I thought Jesus was a carpenter... turns out he was a butcher Smile

Thanks for this Sunshine... gave me quite a serious giggle! Laughing

(time to stock up on monitors and keyboards... been spitting coffee for hours now reading these posts from you absolutely hilarious people!!!!!)

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 10:18 pm

^^^ I wonder if that counts as one of His miracles?

Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:02 pm

It's been a few days, but they're back - half faith, half business:

Quote:

I with my mama receiver your message said you have no faith that you have be serious nothing
So please what do you think abort life we all are the children of the God the father and his only son you remember God sent his only be gutting son to satisfy for those who believe in him Jesus the creator and the eternal son of God who lived a sinless life. Not only had that also loved us so much that he died for our sins. Taking the punishment that we deserve was buried rose from the dead according to the bible
So please if you truly believe and trust in your heart receiving Jesus alone as your savior declaring Jesus is lord you well be save and have faith from the judgment and spend eternity life with God in heave
So please faith is not by power or by my as a man of you safe all you have to do just said this I have a faith in human perfectibility a man life without Jesus Christ is not appreciable to God that is a life of effect and crises.
So please you must live to have faith because a son of man follow rules on good paths so please learn how to fast and pray for your faith receiving from lord Jesus that is the only way you can make a Good deference of receiving of faith, please kindly do that Jesus love you so am with my mama is going to put every thing in fasting and prayer for you sake alone,
So please let us do three-day fasting and prayer waiting this transaction that you are abort to lead an on for God to have his only way, i with my mama is fully ready to do any for God to answers and grate us his Godly mind
So faith is by giving and receiving
So please you also said before you we deal with any issues that you have to ask one matter that I wrote to you. Regarding my message I wrote to you. That I disuse with my mama that after the receiving of this total consignment Boxes,
I don’t know if you can agree to receiver my to you country home house to state and forded my education right in you country please am only asking is there is any chance for me to come over, those are the arrangement mad pending after you much have receiver the consignment boxes contain $48.5million United state Dollars out from the security company in London,
You also said you American citizen who currently live in Australia so please I see no deference between American and Australia, all I need is your green light to say am highly welcome to any destination of this 2country American and Australia,
So please am ready to honest to your word at any time any day,
The position of this now I with my mama are still waiting for the security company in London to send to us the needed information for the handily deliver charges fees to able the security head of private discussion handle the delivery successfully to your destination ,
Please your safe phone number is very important for conversation with you

Quote:

Compliment of the season
God sent foreign Beneficiary with your loving girlfriend Suzie
may the almighty lord Jesus Christ guard and portent you and your family, because a life without Christ is chaises life, so please God sent foreign beneficiary,
I am my mama receiver your message and is was very right and understanding to us, that remand i am my mama that we have fund what we are be praying day and night looking for because we believe in life at any time of need Jesus never fails his disciple,
Please . The security company in London have put a conversation with my mama today to put you informed update readiness waiting for the handily Delivering charges of this consignment Box out from the security company to you received destination address personal safe house face from the security company head of private discussion delivering , of any tippy of funds consignment Boxes
Please in the name of God if I may ask I hop that you agree of 25% of the total fund involve your financial assistance us regarding the dispatching of consignment boxes contain $48.5million United state Dollars to your nominated destination Address
So please am with my mama is sting waiting for the security company in London to notify to use the needed amount that is needed for the handily Delivering charges of the consignment Boxes to your received destination address personal safe house face from the security company head of private discussion delivering
So please kindly help put every thing in prayer waiting for the security company in London green light
To informed you the amount you are going to send to them security company in London,
So please kindly let we have your safe phone number for any update from the security company in London
Thanks have a wonderful day together with your loving girlfriend Suzie so please fight the rein fight of faith
Have believe Jesus can make any deference one thing in life believe work by faith not by darting what you know that is rein okay.
so please dont forget am coming over to founder my education right in your country home hose with you and your family

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