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Bankster
Baiting Guru
Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 2239
Location: Gone for a while.
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 Posted:
Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:05 pm |
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I know that we don't normally do politics on Eater, but in this case it's imperative that the leaders of the world have a close look at Switzerland to see how it's done. 
Introducing Hans-Rudolf Merz, member of the Federal Council and thus one of Switzerland's highest-ranking politicians. During a parliamentary session last Monday he had to read a statement by customs officials to the parliament - a statement he introduced with "oh yes, I've been looking forward to this all Sunday." The statement was written in particularly awful legalese and made excessive use of nested sentences and cross-references. Unfortunately only a small excerpt of Merz's speech has been published on the intertubes; the good thing is that you don't necessarily need to speak German in order to understand what he thinks of it. 
Sometimes one facial expression is worth a thousand words
(In the meantime the author of the document in question has vowed to keep his future statements "less technical".) |
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Whoever said you can't touch happiness has never petted a dog.
       
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Chuda, the killer cat
Craziest cat ever
Joined: 02 Aug 2010
Posts: 1034
Location: Out hunting lads
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Sun Sep 26, 2010 2:31 pm |
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Who deeducated the author  
I think, I've got a little something that's even worse - Also in German |
_________________
Killer cat attitude:
I know what you're thinking MUGU — "Am I a lion or only a cat?"
Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself.
But being a lion, the most powerful predator in the world I would bite your MUGU head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question:
"Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, MUGU?
 X 4 - My first ones - Same lad, nice guy
X 2 - From same hitlad
YOU GET EXTRA HURTY DEATH AFTERR YOU WORDS - Hitbadger - Now one of us, you're so welcome 
THE PROBLEM IS I AM RUNNING OUT OF PATIENT - Hitlad
GET ME MONEY THEM I WILL TELL YOU WERE HE HIS, JUST MONEY ANY ABOUT BECAUSE I HATE THAT BUSTARD. - Same hitlad
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Elizabeth1601
** SUSPENDED **
Joined: 20 Aug 2010
Posts: 226
Location: On the prowl
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Sun Sep 26, 2010 4:31 pm |
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I saw that almost live - it was hilarious !
Chuda, I'm curious to whatever beats this  |
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Bart Fargo
Corporate Baiter
Joined: 22 May 2010
Posts: 1605
Location: Free munchies for the cantaloupe masters
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Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:06 pm |
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I couldn't find the translated version, or any kind of translation. What WAS he talking about?
pretty funny to watch!! |
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Badgerbait
Baiting Guru
Joined: 07 Jan 2009
Posts: 4507
Location: Winter spites...
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Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:20 pm |
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Sounds like this one (there may or may not be a commercial message before the clip, ah youtube):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8pW7KTEbL8 |
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I have arrived in Moscow. Has gone to bank and to me have told that there is no such transfer for me!!!!
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Explain to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Alena Byk0va
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Fowan Nyne
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Posts: 3720
Location: Miniluv
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Sun Sep 26, 2010 9:48 pm |
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LOLLED at it but understood about two words.
Anyone dubbed it? |
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Bankster
Baiting Guru
Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 2239
Location: Gone for a while.
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 6:16 am |
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A translation of part of the text is in the YouTube video description. 
ETA: (stolen from YouTube)
| Quote: |
Referring to addition 6a in chapter 2 of the KN [smirks], the customs administration has additionally [snorts, pauses] published the so called 'Swiss Explanations' [laughs, long pause] about the customs tariff. [parliament applauds]
According to that, certain products that have spices added during the production are included in chapter 2, if the character of a product of this chapter is not changed [snickers]. Parenthesis, for example B... [fits of laughter] ... for example... "Bündnerfleisch!" [laughs, snorts, wipes off tears]
Meat that has spices on the whole surface of the product and that is noticable with the eyes, is excluded by the chapter. |
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Whoever said you can't touch happiness has never petted a dog.
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Last edited by Bankster on Mon Sep 27, 2010 8:36 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Chuda, the killer cat
Craziest cat ever
Joined: 02 Aug 2010
Posts: 1034
Location: Out hunting lads
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 7:50 am |
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I understand German quite well and I don't think it's an advantage with this - This is German grammar stretched way over the limit.
The guys gestures and laughing says it all |
_________________
Killer cat attitude:
I know what you're thinking MUGU — "Am I a lion or only a cat?"
Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself.
But being a lion, the most powerful predator in the world I would bite your MUGU head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question:
"Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, MUGU?
X 4 - My first ones - Same lad, nice guy
X 2 - From same hitlad
YOU GET EXTRA HURTY DEATH AFTERR YOU WORDS - Hitbadger - Now one of us, you're so welcome
THE PROBLEM IS I AM RUNNING OUT OF PATIENT - Hitlad
GET ME MONEY THEM I WILL TELL YOU WERE HE HIS, JUST MONEY ANY ABOUT BECAUSE I HATE THAT BUSTARD. - Same hitlad
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Wurzgnubbel
419Eater is my life
Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Posts: 441
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 10:32 am |
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The translation is accurate, only the German grammar and wording is quite hilarious as well. But it seems that one need not understand a single word to laugh when watching this. |
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Now i know that you are nothing but a rouge, a killer, a resist, aback bitter, a lie, a tourt, a nornentity, a surscy human being. (Mister Larry Kent) 
the test question here is still who is the bastard b@la h@ssan, so were did you change the test question, and there is no change in this slip, this is the first slip you sent to me, you are wasting my time and dont call me a bastard in your next mail. (Hitman B@la H@ssan)
5x |
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theblob
419Eater is my life
Joined: 31 May 2010
Posts: 255
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:51 pm |
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He's my boss!
Just a few ranks above me... |
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OINK OINK ! > x16 |
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Bankster
Baiting Guru
Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 2239
Location: Gone for a while.
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:19 pm |
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^^ Are you listed in the Exchange directory? If you ever need a day off on short notice, give me your work e-mail address so I can look you up & try to trash your PC. |
_________________
Whoever said you can't touch happiness has never petted a dog.
( ) x10 __ x? |
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Bart Fargo
Corporate Baiter
Joined: 22 May 2010
Posts: 1605
Location: Free munchies for the cantaloupe masters
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 3:06 pm |
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| Wurzgnubbel wrote: |
| The translation is accurate, only the German grammar and wording is quite hilarious as well. But it seems that one need not understand a single word to laugh when watching this. |
Wouldn't the wording and grammer be different since it's Swiss German and not, well, regular German? Or are just the accents different? |
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What the hell happened to all my little icons I earned and my quotes???
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Kokomeister
Baiting Guru
Joined: 10 Sep 2008
Posts: 3001
Location: Wandering around the world with a sense of adventure!
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 5:45 pm |
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Dr Mike
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Jun 2010
Posts: 3264
Location: Due north
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 7:08 pm |
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So what exactly is Bündnerfleisch?
I sounds like something you use when you inseminate a cow.
Or it's just my twisted imagination! |
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Chuda, the killer cat
Craziest cat ever
Joined: 02 Aug 2010
Posts: 1034
Location: Out hunting lads
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 7:19 pm |
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^^^ My guess is that it's some kind of meat tied up like "hamborgryg"  |
_________________
Killer cat attitude:
I know what you're thinking MUGU — "Am I a lion or only a cat?"
Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself.
But being a lion, the most powerful predator in the world I would bite your MUGU head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question:
"Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, MUGU?
X 4 - My first ones - Same lad, nice guy
X 2 - From same hitlad
YOU GET EXTRA HURTY DEATH AFTERR YOU WORDS - Hitbadger - Now one of us, you're so welcome
THE PROBLEM IS I AM RUNNING OUT OF PATIENT - Hitlad
GET ME MONEY THEM I WILL TELL YOU WERE HE HIS, JUST MONEY ANY ABOUT BECAUSE I HATE THAT BUSTARD. - Same hitlad
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Bart Fargo
Corporate Baiter
Joined: 22 May 2010
Posts: 1605
Location: Free munchies for the cantaloupe masters
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Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:55 pm |
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WOW!!
Last week I did suffer a serious case of latterkrampe, but the doctor treated it with grineflip. Now I am all better!! |
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What the hell happened to all my little icons I earned and my quotes???
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Kokomeister
Baiting Guru
Joined: 10 Sep 2008
Posts: 3001
Location: Wandering around the world with a sense of adventure!
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Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:15 am |
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Lufttorkat kött?!
Bart Fargo: |
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Wurzgnubbel
419Eater is my life
Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Posts: 441
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Tue Sep 28, 2010 6:58 am |
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| Dr Mike wrote: |
| So what exactly is Bündnerfleisch? |
Here you go:
| Wikipedia wrote: |
Das Bündnerfleisch ist eine Spezialität und eingetragene Marke des Kantons Graubünden.
Bündnerfleisch ist eine regionale Unterart von Bindenfleisch, das seinen Namen von den früher im Produktionsprozess eingesetzten Stoffbinden erhielt. «Bündnerfleisch» ist eine Geschützte Geographische Angabe (GGA/IGP).
Bündnerfleisch oder Bindenfleisch ist gepökeltes, von Sehnen und Fett befreites Rindfleisch aus der Oberschenkelmuskulatur. Das Fleisch wird mit Salz, Salpeter und Gewürzen einige Wochen bei einer Temperatur nahe dem Gefrierpunkt in einem geschlossenen Behälter gelagert. Danach wird das Fleisch mehrere Wochen lang getrocknet. Während der Trocknungsphase wird das Fleisch mehrmals gepresst, um die verbliebene Flüssigkeit gleichmässig zu verteilen. Dadurch erhält das Bündnerfleisch auch seine charakteristische rechteckige Form. Original Bündnerfleisch wird nicht geräuchert. Durch den hohen Wasserverlust während des Salzens und Trocknens (etwa die Hälfte des ursprünglichen Gewichts) sind keine weiteren Maßnahmen oder Hilfsstoffe zur Konservierung notwendig.
Zum Verzehr wird das Bündnerfleisch in sehr dünne Scheiben geschnitten und zu Brot serviert. In feine Streifen oder Würfel geschnitten wird es auch zur Verfeinerung von Suppen verwendet.
Der überwiegende Teil der Produktion verbleibt in der Schweiz; der andere Teil wird in die europäischen Länder, die USA und Japan exportiert. Die Rohware für in der Schweiz verkauftes Bündnerfleisch ist einheimischer Herkunft, wohingegen Exportware vielfach aus ausländischem Rindfleisch hergestellt wird. |
Basically it's some kind of thin cut processed beef that is produced only in certain areas of Switzerland. So you're not too far off with the inseminated cow meat.
And: grammar is basically the same in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. The wording is slightly different, and so is the pronounciation. |
_________________
Now i know that you are nothing but a rouge, a killer, a resist, aback bitter, a lie, a tourt, a nornentity, a surscy human being. (Mister Larry Kent)
the test question here is still who is the bastard b@la h@ssan, so were did you change the test question, and there is no change in this slip, this is the first slip you sent to me, you are wasting my time and dont call me a bastard in your next mail. (Hitman B@la H@ssan)
5x |
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