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 Worst burglar of the year award

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iMike
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Joined: 21 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Got back from holiday a few days ago to find a letter from our local constabulary warning of a spate of burglaries in the area.

Seems it was our turn last night.

Got up this morning to find one of the wooden fence panels at the rear of the garden had been lifted up around 3ft off it's base. Initial thought was that someone had been trying to break into the car, but there was no apparent damage/scratching etc. So, I put it down to the local chavs buggering about. After I got to work, I had a message from Mrs that the garden shed had been broken into (obviously looking for tools etc).

In order to get through the gap made in the fence, burglar boy would have had to crawl. There are ankle high blackberry brambles just at that point. He broke the latch on the door surround. If he'd only tried the door - it wasn't locked! The tools are stored in another shed with 2 steel bars across the door. The shed he broke into contained rubbish, broken pieces of wood & damp cardboard & is occasionally used as a toilet by the local cat population.

It's just a shame that the security light isn't working at present - if it had come on I would have had a nice picture on the CCTV covering the rear garden!

It's also a shame that here in the UK I can't mount one of these on the roof.

I have re-arranged the brambles though - they're now at face height Twisted Evil

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bill2
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Joined: 10 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Lucky for you he was so smart Smile

I like the gun, but the style doesn't go with our house too well, but installed inside the garage it wouldn't matter that much Laughing http://world.guns.ru/machine/mg69-e.htm

Happy hunting

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Craig007
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Joined: 19 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
It's just a shame that the security light isn't working at present - if it had come on I would have had a nice picture on the CCTV covering the rear garden!


Aye, that is very much a shame. I would have no issue distributing his image around the town if it were me, in blown up glory, with timestamp and all, and if that didn't work, I'd send it into Crimewatch.

I absolute cannot abide burglars. Lucky escape this time, iMike. Tool yourself up and prepare for round two. Wink

Actually, let's go with the usual line these days:

The chap in your garden was more than likely just a misunderstand kid from a broken background looking for a place to rest his head in warmth. Rolling Eyes

Better watch, you might get sued for not having central heating installed.

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Cougar
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Joined: 16 Apr 2009
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sorry to hear that iMike, I have personal experience (bastard got into my house through an open window, shame I had nothing worth nicking, he 'only' got £40 out my purse. Just happened to be the last £40 from my bank account which was supposed to last me until payday. Twat. Thank god for good friends).

Brambles/blackberry bushes are very effective. I have one that seeded itself in my back garden (too late for my 'visit' unfortunately), and now it's practically taken over. I have to chop my way through it to put the bins out! On the lookout for a highly effective weed killer...

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Badgerbait
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Have you considered purchasing a pet zombie? They have invisible fencing for them now.

Image

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Roycropper
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

iMike wrote:
Got back from holiday a few days ago to find a letter from our local constabulary warning of a spate of burglaries in the area.


My letter must have been stolen. Having just run to the back to check my shed and garage, I can only hope that my thieving scroat is as stupid as iMike's. (probably I'll get the same one, we have some career junkies living on the estate behind us - If they just ask I could give them some bleach to shoot up).

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Ima Baeder
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Joined: 03 May 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
The tools are stored in another shed


So, is it just the two sheds or do you have more? Watch out GoldHat, you've got competition!!!

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iMike
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Joined: 21 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ 2 sheds and a garage I'll have you know.

@Roy, apparently someone left a window open for their pet cat Shocked They got in through that & nicked the keys to 2 cars.

It's happened before round here. There are quite a few open fields & the scrotes typically make their getaway across these. They don't like well lit streets. I'm gonna have 2 new security lights installed.

I like the zombie idea, but the local council will probably make me fill out loads of health & safety forms Evil or Very Mad

Quote:
misunderstand kid from a broken background looking for a place to rest his head in warmth


We've got a large compost bin.....

@Cougar - it's the second time. Last time they managed to pinch the garage keys. When they realised my bike wasn't in it, they dumped the keys.

I console myself with the thought that he had an unrewarding evening, got a legful of scratches from some very nasty thorns & covered in cat piss Twisted Evil

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Closed lad accounts x2

"you have luke worm in your brain" - Ekaetta Bello
"invite me to your country and let me clearify your legitimacy asshole" - Mose5 Uzem3
"the transfer was not authorized due to my persistent double mind" - Clement Wank
"this is not the time to play planks" - Mack Anthony

WIFI PDA - post while you dump
SAY 'NO' TO GAS STORAGE!

<a href="/forum/donate.php">[FREE LAPHROAIG]</a>
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