Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 01 Sep 2010
Wed Sep 01, 2010 3:41 am
Well this starts off innocuous enough with a poor young lady and a tale of woe:
From: Monica Edward [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2010 10:30 AM
To: undisclosed recipients:
Greetings from Cote d’Ivoire, please permit to inform you of my desire to go into a lasting business relationship with you, my name is Monica Edward, I am the only daughter/child of Chief & Mrs. Edward, my father was the Director General of the Cocoa Exporter Corporation based in Abidjan city the Economic Capital of Cote d’Ivoire. My late father was poisoned to death by his business associates in one of their outing to discuss on a business trip.
I was a baby when my mother died 1993, so my father took me so special because of am motherless. Before the death of my father on 30th September 2008, he called me secretly on his bed side were he was admitted and told me that he got the sum of (US$9.5 Million Dollars) deposited in "Suspense Account" in a Bank here in Europe, and he used my name as the next of kin to the deposit. He advised me to moved to our Family House into his room and took his portfolio were he kept the vital documents related to the deposit of the fund.
Dear, I have the vital documents with me right now and I can forward them to you for more trust when we build more trust to each other. Therefore, I am humble seeking for your assistance in this following ways:
(1) To provide a bank account where this money will be transfer into for investment purpose in your country.
(2) To serve as my legal guardian since I am a girl of 19years old, and I don't have experience in banking and international businesses.
(3) To look for me a good school in your country where I will further my nursing studies as soon as I come over to your base.
Meanwhile, I am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum for compensation for your effort input, and also mapped 5% of the total sum for any expenses that might incurred which you will make during the transfer of the money to your account. Furthermore, you can indicate your opinion towards assisting me to handle this project, as I would like us to complete this noble transaction within a short time you signify your interest to assist me. I will stop here and wait for your positive response.
God bless you for your understanding and concern.
Miss. Monica Edward
My earnest reply:
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2010 6:12 PM
To: '[email protected]'
Subject: RE: hi
I am so glad to get this missive from you.
I hope this finds you well in Cote d'Ivoire.
I gotta “Google” that place and see where it is on the world globe.
Sounds French. Is it a village in France? The French have those little atrocities in their words sometimes.
They forget to capitalize words, too and put in extra letters where they don’t belong. Yeesh!
You write English so I guess you must speak English, too?
Nobody here speaks French.
Everyone here speaks English except for thsoe who don't.
I am a single father with 4 kids.
My boys are:
Jack & Daniel
My girls are:
Tia and Maria
We live in a nice large house with some land where their horses, Johnny and Walker, stumble about.
Perhaps you would like to be their new step-mother? The kids; not the horses.
That way: you could have a new family to replace your dearly departed dad and your mom from long ago.
My previous wife was lost to us while guarding the local school playground from the polar bears.
I told her not to take hamburgers for lunch, but; some women just have their own mind made up and what can a man do to change any of that?
Women! It’s illegal to beat them here and life insurance payoffs are always contested.
We had a nanny for awhile too(Miss Smirnoff), but; she married our good friend next door, Captain Morgan.
She still looked after my kids, but; she insisted on joining the great Narwhale hunt in ’06 and never returned.
All they found were her slightly chewed mukluks.
Life here in the North West Territories is very romantic what with the Northern Lights dancing in the sky.
In the background is the sound of the big Hiatchi ore haulers as they work 24/7 at the diamond mine.
I support my family with a nice hourly rented rooms business for the workers at the mine and they are always friendly for a new face.
You could certainly continue on with any studies by using the correspondence university.
There would be lots of time to study during the evenings and nights in the fall and the winter.
You want to study nursing? I could help with that for sure. You could practice your nursing skills on me. I’d like that.
But: I digress……….
Summers are a fine time; especially the out-door cooking.
We usually go down to a lake and fish with C-4 in a floating milk jug and then BB-Q the Jackfish that float to the top of the water.
It’s amazing to see how far up in the air a fish can go with just an itsy-bitsy tiny amount of C-4!
The kids are always amazed. Me too.
Captain Morgan’s’ wife (the ex-nanny for my kids) was from the Philippines, but she had to learn English.
(I hope you speak good English. Everybody here speaks English except those who don’t.)
Boy! Could she cook up some nice tasty food. Kinda hard on the stray dogs, but; yummy!
Can you cook? What do you cook? Are you hot in the kitchen?
Here; it snowed 3.2 metres last night.
We are still digging out the neighbours who are not so well off.
That Captain Morgan; gee I feel so sorry for him since he lost his wife at the great Narwhale hunt of ‘06.
Of course; there are more dogs now…..
They only have a single story house and could not get out of their door this morning because of the snow. You can't imagine the problem that creates when the outhosue (bathroom) facilities are quite aways off behind the house and down a path.
We have a 2-story house with a garage on the one end of the house.
We have a door on the second floor that goes out onto the roof of the garage.
On the garage roof we have a smaller garage for our snowmobiles so we can just go off our garage roof with the snowmobiles.
We used to have dogs and a sled, but; Captain Morgan’s’ lost last wife………….well; we had to buy the Ski-doos, you know how it is.
It’s kinda handy this way; we don’t get stuck so much like the neighbours.
Good planning for the future always helps when the biscuits are in the oven and the smoke alarm is ringing loudly!
Of course they take advantage of our good planning sometimes too often.
We don’t usually get snow at this time of the year. It must be due to the global climate changes.
Say: don’t be so worried about the money. You can bring it here with you when you come.
You don’t have to worry about that I would cheat you out of your money.
I have my own money because I won a lottery about 4 years ago.
About $42 Million; I’m sure there’s lots still left.
It’s hard to keep track of it all when there is so much.
Gotta keep them kids off the computer, though; too much e-Bay stuff is filling up the garage.
Last month they bought the Phoenix from the Harry Potter movie.
What will we do with that? Darn thing flaps around and the last cat in town disappeared two weeks ago and it doesn't like commercial dog food.
That’s why we’re able to plan a bit better than the neighbours.
So: no problem; no worry. We have enough money for our lives now.
I think you said you have $9.5M?; something like that.
A small amount like that should fit in a suitcase when you come; probably just carry-on baggage.
I don’t need to cheat you out of your money.
I just need a distraction and someone to care for Jack, Daniel, Tia and Maria.
Of course; Johnny & Walker would need some attention, too; but that can be discussed later. After all; they are just horses.
So; tell me more about yourself.
Did you go to university?
How tall are you? How wide are you?
I know you are 19. What is your birthday?
Do you have brothers and sisters. Captain Morgan is looking for a new wife again.
Maybe you have a sister or a friend? Or a brother? He’s not all that particular.
Oooops: gotta go.
I just see a herd of Caribou coming across the fence line.
I’ll shoot a few so we can have a nice BB-Q next week if the snow ever melts.
Captain Morgan and his family would like that. The world price of ghanja has dropped and his grow-op isn’t producing the kinda cash flow he needs to keep up with his heating bill since fuel prices soared.
And: since he can’t afford the heating bill; well: the crop doesn’t do so well. It’s a vicarious viscous vicious circle I tell ‘ya.
WOW! I see 8 of them blighters! Oh; I can taste them now. All dressed out with Hickory smoked BB-Q sauce.
Almost as tasty as Rover and Benji were, not to mention the one from Flanders.
We’ll call up a couple of the hourly ladies to put on 6” titanium stilettos and bustiers or black leather corsets and let them whip us up a meal.
Talk about hot times in the old kitchen! Oooh baby!
What’s your thoughts on Lycra? How do you feel in Lyca? Ooops; I digress my dear………
O.K.! gotta quit talkin’ and fantasizing and head out to shoot me a few Caribou.
Hoping to hear from you soon.
e. Roy Slade.
p.s.: Could you please send a photo to me?
Note to reader: Evil Roy Slade was a movie; you can "Google" it.
Dialogue continues along with a photo!!:
Thanks for your mail respond and your wiliness to assist me in handling this noble transaction. I have read your mail with sense of understanding and I must tell you that I don't have experience in banking and internetional businesses of which is the reason why I contacteed you for a kind assistance in this noble transaction due to I don't have any other relatives here and overseas to assist me in handling this.
Honestly, if you could assist me as you promise, then I promise you that you will not regret helping me rather you will surely gain it in bounty.
Please just get back to me with more information about yourself, such as your full name, resident address, telephone, mobile phone, fax and photograph. As soon as I receive this information from you, I will give more details about myself and also send to you the information of the Bank in Europe were my late father deposited the fund (US$9,500,000.00), for you to reach the Bank and confirm the existence of the Fund in their custody and also to arrange with the Bank for the more details on how the fund will be transfer to your account in your country.
Daddy i will like to continue my nursing studies as soon as i come to your country.
I hope this will merit your sense of understanding as am waiting for your positive response to this effect.
I attached my picture to you, and also i will like to see the pictures of my siblings to be, Jack & Daniel , Tia and Maria.
Send my greeting to all of them.I love them all.hoping to see them very soon.
Thanks and God bless us.
In God we trust.
Well: I don't seem to be able to paste the photo in here. cute girl, though.
Our Dearest Monica:
Thanks for the really prompt response.
You look just great in orange/red.
I’ll bet bright green is good for you, too.
I see a big ring on your left hand; did you already get married?
I hope not ‘cause Tia, Maria, Jack and Daniel are sure looking forward to a new cute mom.
So: here they are.
But: the little girl in the bottom right; that is Captain Morgan’s little girl; Mojito.
++++++ I find a photo on the internet and pop it into the e-mail.
Jack has glasses; Daniel is the oldest.
Maria is next to Mojito and Tia is the youngest; bottom left.
They are good kids, but; need a mom in the kitchen working hard to ensure they have the proper nutrition and clean clothes all the time.
Don’t worry; I am not a chauvinist: I encourage women to wear shoes.
Well; here is a photo poorly taken:
++++++ I find a photo on the internet and pop it into the e-mail.
So: hope to hear from you very soon.
Do you have a passport, dear?
When would you want to travel to see your new home?
You could come here as my fiancé, but; we have to be married legally within 90 days or it’s back home.
Or; if you have any family left or friends; we could get married there and go on a honeymoon to Dubai or someplace nice like Bora Bora before we return here to the North West Territories.
I looked into your studies to nurse.
That can be done at home as a home study.
I can help you nurse all you want.
No problem. I’d like that. I am sure you will, too, Monica.
So: between nursing me, cooking for the 6 of us (and occasionally for Captain Morgan and Mojito, too; but not really often), enjoying your familial nuptials and shopping, well; Monica: you will one busy wife here.
All my love:
E. Roy Slade.
So: she continues:
I am happy to read your mail,i love the pictures of my sisters and brothers to be, they are all looking beautiful and also daddy you look so nice ,meanwhile ,daddy i want to tell you my story, my mum died the time when i was at the age of 2 years and some weeks,that is why my late father took me so special because i don't have any sister or brother,that is the reason,why my late father deposited the fund in europe and that is reason,i inherited the fund from my late father ,because there is no other siblings i had.
Daddy i never married ,still single,i was just at my teenager,my birth day was last month may 17th.
Daddy i don't have any international passport ,due to i never travle abroad ,that is why i asked for your assistance to help me ,so that when the fund is transfer to your country,i will then prepare for my travle documents to come over to join you and my lovely siblings to be, Jack & Daniel , Tia and Maria. and also uncle morgan daugther Mojito.I will love to come over to cook for them ,i will be taking good care of them,because they are going to be under my care.
I wish i will soon join you all.
Daddy please i need to know exactly place you are living, i mean the country and state you are living with your lovely childrens.
Forward your full contacts to me, Telephone number and fax number .
Meanwhile below is the contact of the bank in spain ,where my late father deposited the fund.
You should contact the bank in spain as soon as possible and ask them for immediate transfer of the fund.
Contact person: MR.ANTHONY COBBS
Bank Name: Moonlight Commercial Bank.
Calle de Velázquez 102.
28001 Madrid, Spain.
Tel: + 34 (634) 174 997
Fax: + 34 (917) 692 787
Email: [email protected]
Moonlight Commercial Bank
Avinguda de la República Argentina 45
08033 Barcelona, Spain.
Please daddy do as much as possible and be in contact with the bank in spian and do get back to me immediately you contact them to enable me follow up with the transaction.
I will be waiting to hear from you soon.
Thanks and God bless us.
In God we trust.
I go on vacation: this awaits me:
How are you today together with my siblings,i hope all is well with you people over there.
I want to know if you have recieve my previous mail and also with the contact of the bank in Spain,Europe.
I am still waiting to hear from you your telephone number and fax number .
Thanks and God bless us.
In God we trust.
From: Monica Edward [mailto:[email protected]r]
Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 11:29 AM
Subject: PLEASE CONTACT PASTOR EDOW
I got your mail,please don't be annoyed ,i waited you for long before someone else from india whom my situation touched and he render me the assistance.
Now i drop a drafted cheque for you ,you should contact the Pastor Edow that i left the draft cheque in his cusrody with information bellow;
from. Pastor Edow
Email; [email protected]
Telephone number; 225 07 18 63 94
Direct him on how to send the draft cheque of the $500,000 usd dollars draftd on your name to your address.Finally I will want you to give him.
1. Your full contact address
2. Your telephone number
3. Your full names
Yours Monica Edward
WAIT: What's this some guy in India?
Not if I can help it:
I am sorry to have not responded to your e-mail for so long.
I was away since 02-July due to a family emergency and only just returned on Sunday with my kids.
My younger brother got himself into a big problem.
He hasn’t done so well in life, I am afraid to say.
1stly: he is a Vancouver Canucks fan; the family has practically disowned him for cheering for that Vancouver Hockey team.
But, anyways; our aunt took him in all the same even though she doesn’t have so much room in her trailer (because she has so many dogs and cats that she rescues).
So: I guess you could say he is like just any other stray dog.
Well; it turns out he was cooking mash to make white lightning in the back room and he was trying out his product(for quality) and got quite inebriated.
He didn’t watch the heat and this error resulted in a huge explosion! Our aunts’ trailer was a write off. She didn’t mind so much, but; the neighbours were quite irate since it was raining cats and dogs for sure. For sure they would have kicked her out of the trailer park, but; there was nothing left to kick out. So: we had to travel there to get everything right again. Our aunt needed a new trailer, of course. Her real problem was that she lost her false teeth in the explosion and couldn’t eat right for a week.
Try sipping your food for a week; I’ll bet you would be quite irritable, too. Poor aunt Maudlin. We found my brother about a ½ mile away not so much worse for the wear in only his neon polyester G-string electric blue bikini briefs and a Canucks cap on his head singing like a lark. It would truly help if he would only shave and shower occasionally.
Our big problem was that both our aunt and my brother wanted to move back home with us. Jack, Daniel, Tia and Maria wanted nothing to do with this plan.
Honestly: I am so glad we can agree with things like this as a family.
So began the search for a new low class trailer park and a new(well; different) trailer for my aunt and my younger brother.
And: new false teeth for aunt Maudlin., of course.
I’m afraid nothing has changed much at all, dearest Monica. Already they have only been in the trailer a few days and complaints are coming from the trailer park management that other residents’ dogs and cats are missing(at least she isn’t eating them).
As well; they have already run through several tanks of propane gas: I’m afraid my brother is up to his old ways(we expect another explosion any time soon).
Gee; I am just so stressed out. I just can’t wait for you to be here.
How is your passport coming along, dear?
I did contact Pastor Edow, but; no answer. Maybe he spent it on Kool-aide for his parishioners?
I’m just so stressed out just now.
Let me contact you again in a few days when the Lithium and Percocet’s kick in.
e Roy Slade
Sadly: it is true & I no longer get a repsonse.
Recipient email address removed - Branwen
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