Is this the longest scam mail ever? I think it is...

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 18 May 2010 Posts: 24

So, I was checking my spam filters now, hoping for one more bait (only running two now, I usually run three) and found it.... in this incredibly, ridiculously long script. It seems to be a standard Next of Kin scam. Take a look at it:

Quote:

From: Kwasi Tumi <[email protected]>
Date: 2010/5/18
Subject: {Spam?} GOOD DAY
To:

Dear Friend,

Permit me for bumping into your privacy. I am Mr. Kwasi Tumi, a staff of CAL
Bank Limited (Ghana). I got your contact on the internet, while searching for
someone that I can go into partnership with.

I am contacting you independently and no one is informed of this communication,
and I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail
confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a
result of this mail. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I
believe would be of interest to you. In the year 2006, the subject matter; came
to our bank to engage in business discussions with this gentleman. (Name
withheld), He informed us that he had a financial portfolio he wanted us to
turn over (invest) on his behalf.

I decided to treat his case personally; I made numerous suggestions in line
with my duties as the de-facto Chief investment officer,Financial Control of
the bank, considering the volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We
met on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I encouraged
him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored route in
my advice to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000 traditional stocks
and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments. Based on my
advice, we spun the money around various opportunities and made attractive
margins for our first months of operation, the accrued profit and interest
stood at this point at over Two million United States Dollars, this margin was
not the full potential of the fund but the desired low risk guaranteed returns
on investments.

In December 2007, he asked that part of the money be liquidated because he
needed to make an urgent investment requiring cash payments in Finland. Where
he said, he is investing with a Firm that is building a housing estate outside
Helsinki for the government of Finland. He directed that I liquidate the
investment and deposit the funds with a reliable and secured Safe Deposit Firm.
I informed him that CAL Bank Limited (Ghana), would have to make special
arrangements to have this done and in order not to circumvent due process, the
bank would have to make a 9.5 % deduction from the funds to cater for banking
and statutory charges. He complained about the charges that same day when he
called on phone, after explaining to him the complexities of the task he was
asking of us we arrived at conclusion to proceed.
Cash movement across boarders become strict since the incidents of 9/11. I
contacted my affiliate and made the funds available to a Safe Deposit Firm here
in Accra Ghana. I undertook all the processes and made sure I followed his
precise instructions to the letter and had the funds deposited with the Safe
Deposit Firm. The Safe Deposit Firm is a specialist private firm that accepts
deposits from highly placed individuals and blue chip corporations that handle
valuable products or undertake transactions that need immediate access to cash.
This small and highly respected private organization is familiar to well-
connected organizations. In line with his instructions, the money was deposited
with the Firm. The Customer told me he wanted the money there in anticipation
of his arrival from Norway later that week. This was the last communication we
had, this transpired around 26th May 2007.In December last year, we got a call
from the Safe Deposit Firm informing us about the inactivity of that particular
portfolio.

This was an astounding position as far as I was concerned, given the fact that
I managed the private banking sector I was the only one who knew about the
deposit at the Safe Deposit Firm, and I could not understand why the Customer
had not come forward to claim his deposit. I made futile efforts to locate the
Customer. Immediately I passed the task of locating him to the internal
investigations department of CAL Bank Limited (Ghana). Ten days later,
information started to trickle in, apparently our client was dead. A person who
suited his description was declared dead of a heart attack in canne, in
Southern part of France. The body was identified and the cause of death was
confirmed. The bank immediately launched an investigation for a possible
surviving next of kin to alert them about the situation and also to come
forward to claim his estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs,
those who patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but also some levels
of detachment from conventional proc

In his bio-data form, he listed no next of kin. In the field of private
banking, opening an account with us means no one will know of its existence,
accounts are rarely held under a name; depositors use numbers and codes to make
the accounts anonymous, CAL Bank Limited, also gives the choice to depositors
of having their mail sent to them or held at the bank itself, to ensure that
there are no traces of the account and as I said, rarely do they nominate next
of kin. Private banking clients apart from not nominating next of kin also
usually in most cases leave wills in our care, in this case; the deceased died
without a testate. In line with our internal processes for account holders who
have passed away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to
determine who should have right to claim the estate. This investigation has for
the past months been unfruitful. We have scanned every continent and used our
private companies to get to the root of the problem.

My official capacity dictates that I am the only party to supervise the
investigation, the only party to receive and declare the results of the
investigation. After investigating the last batch of names forwarded to us as
possible relatives, we have come to the conclusion that our dear late fellow
died with no identifiable family member. This leaves me as the only person with
the full picture of what the prevailing situation is in relation to the deposit
and the late beneficiary of the deposit.

According to practice, The Safe Deposit Firm will by the end of this month
broadcast a request for statements of claim to CAL Bank Limited, failing to
receive viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit back to CAL
Bank Limited. This will result in the money entering the CAL Bank Limited
accounting system and the portfolio will be out of my hands and out of the
private banking division.

This will not happen if I have my way. What I wish to relate to you will smack
of unethical practice but I want you to understand something. It is only an
outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics of the banking
world aberrational. The world of private banking is fraught with huge rewards
for those that occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios. You
should have begun by now to put together the general direction of what I
propose. There is Ten million dollars deposited in a Safe Deposit Firm, I alone
have the deposit details and they will release the deposit to no one unless I
instruct them to do so. I alone knew the existence of this deposit as far as
CAL Bank Limited is concerned.

The transaction with our late customer concluded when I sent the funds to the
Safe Deposit Firm, all outstanding interactions in relation to the file are
just customer services and due process. The Safe Deposit Firm has no single
idea of what's the history or nature of the deposit. They are simply awaiting
instructions to release the deposit to any party that come forward. This is the
situation. This bank has spent great amounts of money trying to track this
man's family; they have investigated for months and have found no family
member. The investigation has come to an end.

My proposal; I am prepared to place you in a position to instruct the Safe
Deposit Firm to release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relative.
Upon receipt of the deposit I am prepared to share the money with you. That is,
I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the deposit
to you and share the proceeds with you in a percentage we will arrive at taking
into consideration our individual level of commitment I would have gone ahead
to ask that the funds be released to me, but that will draw a straight line to
me and my involvement in claiming the deposit. But presenting you as a relative
with the right to claim the deposit as next of kin will mask my involvement and
participation in diverting the deposit for personal use. You will get all the
documents needed to effect this claim immediately you notify me of your
acceptance to claim this deposit for our mutual benefit.

I assure you that I will have the deposit release to you within a few days. I
will simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file relating to the
deceased. I will then officially communicate with The Safe Deposit Firm and
instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these two things all is done,
I have the power to do this.

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no
interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do
not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete
this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because
you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like me who
have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking
sector.

I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this
may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates
that I make this move. Such opportunities only come one's way, once in a
lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once I find myself in total
control of my destiny. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not
work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me.
I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new
opportunities. There is a reward for this project and it is a task worth
undertaking.

I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing
to work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one that is aware of this
situation; good fortune has blessed you with a luck that has planted you into
the center of relevance in my life. Let's share the blessing. If you find
yourself able to work with me, contact me through this email account. If you
give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I
wish to inform you that should you contact me via official channels; I will
deny knowing you and about this project. I repeat, I do not want you contacting
me through my official phone lines nor do I want you contacting me through my
official email account. Contact me only through the numbers I will provide for
you and also through this email address. I do not want any direct link between
you and myself. My official lines are not secured lines as they are
periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in line with our
Total Quality Manageme

Please, again, note I am a family man; I have a wife and children. I send you
this mail without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know
within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches
never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned
from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence.

Thanks for your anticipated cooperation.

Sincerely,
Kwasi Tumi.

If anyone else wants to have a go at Mr. Longwinded here, feel free. I sent a reply off to him a few minutes ago. Reply to address on this one is [email protected]
Maybe I'm doing looking at the wrong IP in the headers, but the email itself appears to originate from Puerto Rico. Very strange.

Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 9:34 pm

Holy shit, your lad wrote you a book. He should be a novelist! Laughing

Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 9:49 pm

Haven't seen any scam mail that long Shocked

Not quite a Newb Joined: 18 May 2010 Posts: 24

subway 1 wrote:

Haven't seen any scam mail that long Shocked

Crazy, right? I'm eagerly awaiting his first reply (where I decided to take up a persona of a guy who is crazily excited about the opportunity and can't wait to help him) to see how long it is.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Holy cow! Quite the little gasbag isn't he? Shocked

I've had long scams, but this takes the cake.

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 12:02 am

That's over 2,000 words (2,056 to be precise), or just under twice the length of the longest one I remember receiving.

419Eater is my life Joined: 04 Jul 2009 Posts: 277

It's longer than any scam email I've personally received, but this one is the longest scam email I've ever seen. It is 2,307 words long, just slightly longer than yours.

Fun Fact #1. That site (heisanevilgenius.com) is where I first learned about scambaiting! Very Happy

Fun Fact #2. You might have heard of the site's owner, even if you don't realize it. His alter ego is the notorious fanficiton writer, Peter Chimaera. "'No John, you are the demons.' And then John was a zombie."

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 3:59 am

Answer him with the standard

Quote:

Tell me more

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 5:48 am

Nah. I have seen longer.
Those who got "END TIME" in their mailbox should agree. Smile

But this one is pretty big too. Nice one Wink

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 10:48 am

If this lad produces lengthy emails after he runs out of script you will be able to waste an amazing amount of his time with minimal effort.

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 1:52 pm

Needs a short reply to the point.
Something like this: ?

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 3:53 pm

Zzzzzzzz is it finished yet.

New scammer species:
The Bore (Borsus tohellicum): A lad whose scripts are so long and pointless that you fall asleep reading them.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 18 May 2010 Posts: 24

Seamless wrote:

Answer him with the standard

Quote:

Tell me more

I did. I responded with, "I like this. What's next?"

His reply email was massively long as well, but only because the idiot pasted the response script into the e-mail twice. I'm dealing with a really sharp one here, I see.

419Eater is my life Joined: 04 Jul 2009 Posts: 277

Mortal wrote:

Nah. I have seen longer.
Those who got "END TIME" in their mailbox should agree. Smile

But this one is pretty big too. Nice one Wink

Oh yes, how could I forget about END TIME? But is that really a scam, or just someone trying to spread the Word o' God in a profoundly long-winded way?

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 7:23 pm

IP points to Togo (Lome)... I guess its just some confused lad.
I mean, yeah, not everyone from Togo is scammer, but chances that you get suddenly email(s) from genuine Togo citizen are ... low or very low?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 18 May 2010 Posts: 24

Mortal wrote:

IP points to Togo (Lome)... I guess its just some confused lad.

I started baiting him (and he's already sent me a forged document to try to get me to agree to go through with it) and his responses are coming from the UK. I'm guessing his mail provider is stripping the IP in a way similar to what Google does, as the forged document is from a bank in Accra.

Either that or he's a very mobile lad, hah.

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 10:38 pm

Either that or he's a Sathas spy! Those worms are very cunning.

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