Worst. Scam. Letter. Ever.

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Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:29 am

I really cannot believe that this lad is going to make any money at all out of this message. It almost makes me want to give him lessons in how to take money off people. He makes all my previous dumb lads look like Nobel literature prize-winners. Anyway, I have replied, as I really want my 5 carshe pans (whatever the hell they are).

Quote:

How are you
Lady Helen ***** my name is Mr M@rt1ns F0su that chicef pilot of Ghana kotoka airport
Lady Helen ***** we see 8 consignment box in the airport and 5 are carshe pans 3 are golds.with your name riting on them Lady H3l3n *** we are contacting you just for you to clam your consignment boxes. i want you to get back to me fast so you can have your consignment boxes
i will help you to see that your consignment boxes will be send to you in a good alder
Lady Helen ***** just get back to me for your consignment boxes only if you neet them.
my ID CARD is in the attachment you see and reply me back so we can end this mater
thank you
best Regad
Mr M@rt1ns F0su

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:55 am

He must have taken some English writing lessons from "Walid." Smile

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:40 am

Walid is truly a master of linguistics! This lad rivals him though...

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:48 am

Quote:

that chicef pilot of Ghana kotoka airport

I would love to listen in on his radio calls to the control tower Smile

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:17 am

Did he call you "mater?"

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:29 am

I think he called me mater, but I am not sure - even squinting sideways, this is not totally clear to me. Has anyone got any idea what these carshe pans are?

And yes, Sunshine - remind me never to fly into Kotoka airport - the ATC transcripts must be most entertaining.

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 9:04 am

If it's windy in Ghana and the windows are open at Kotoka airport, Lady Helen might be watching notes from 5 of your consignment boxes flying around, thomas-the-tank Laughing

pans - shallow open containers without lids

carshe - cash said/written in a posh english accent

That's my guess anyway Very Happy

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 9:25 am

'carshe' is possibly, maybe a "Cache"??? other than that there's some sig material there. Wow, my jaw is still on the floor. That is.......uh........
(speechless)

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:43 pm

Should write back in really broken English and congratulate him on how good his writing is. Act like he's the reincarnation of Shakespeare.

Hopefully he'll be encouraged to use the same mangled script on real victims Wink

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:32 pm

Quote:

we see 8 consignment box in the airport and 5 are carshe pans 3 are golds

The first thing I thought he meant was 'incontinence pants' then 'cartier pens' .. I don't know. At least he can count unlike some lads (well he can add 5 + 3 = 8 )

Congrats you have found a prize specimen of
The Undecipherable (Whatthii tohellicum)

Apparently he is also a

Quote:

chicef pilot

.. *boing* chicef and chongf airlines boarding at gate 9 and we'll be flying high-high-highhhhheeee *boing*

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:37 pm

Must be amatuer hour at the cafe

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:42 pm

He's back - with his ID card which he forgot to send twice:

And here's the money shot:

Quote:

Dear Lady Helen
you most have your consignment boxes but be for that there will be a paper that will cover the consignment boxes be for we can send it to you.
and that pater has to be proses here in accra ghana then after that i will send a copy of the pater to you and will hold one copy here then the consignment boxes can be send to you.
your copy of your paper is what you will us to go for the clam of your consignment boxes wen the consignment boxes have arived in your contry if you dont have that paper your consignment boxes can not get to you . and that paper will cost US$120.
i will help you to see that your consignment boxes will be send to you as soon possible only if you want it if i hop to get your reply soon as you can
best regards
M@rt1ns F0su

Only $120 - a bargain at twice the price! Here's my reply to him:

Quote:

Dear chicef polot
Please send the pater to me as soon as posible so that I may receive the consignment boxes and let me know the contents pleas of the boxes.
With best regards
Helen

Now we have mater and pater involved...

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 12:40 am

Here's one from way back - convincing, don't you think?

Quote:

my dear friend,
i am happy to email you this message.we have a charity organisation in africa that wants to reprofile sum amount of money,nine million us dollars ($9m usd)through a trusted person or reputable organisation.
if you can provide the oversea's account coordinates then quickly contact me for more details.

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 6:28 am

Quote:

we see 8 consignment box in the airport and 5 are carshe pans 3 are golds

We see eight consignment boxes at the airport and five are [full of] cash and three are [full of] gold.

Very Happy

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 11:14 pm

Branwen, I'm sure you're right about your guess. How stupid of me not to recognize what carshe pans are.

Anyway, we have a confused lad here. He seems determined to get his money, but hasn't told me where or how to send it (he's SOOL if he wants WU, because there is no WU in Japan any more - honest - Suruga Bank have dropped their connection) - it will have to be a box full of dollar bills. But also he keeps telling me "if you don't want it, then don't bother". I'm not going to try to confuse his little brain with subtleties – this has got to be very straightforward for now. Soon I may get passed up the chain, but for now we have the original lad who's a lad because he can't make a living any other way (and he's going to make a piss-poor living as a lad unless his style improves radically).

Quote:

Dear Lady Helen.

So sorry for the let reply is just that i travel to Uk now i am contacting you from London [headers still say Ghana] but i will be back to accra ghana on monday.
Lady Helen yes you most get your consignment boxes only if you want it but like i told you be for is that
to proses the paper will cost US$120 from your fund and if you dont have the paper you cant get your consignment boxes the consignment boxes are 8 5 consignment boxes are US Dollar each of the 5 consignment boxes is rioted 21 million US$ and 3 consignment boxes are golds that is all i know i can tell for now. Lady Helen i am only doing my job i dont need your money if you want to get your consignment just send the US$120 to me i will help you to go for the prosesing of the paper i am only helping you but if you think you dont need it then tell me hop to get your reply
pilot Martins Fosu

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 6:39 am

<--- Yes I don't belive I couldn't get that one either. 'cash' .. of course.

Quote:

.with your name riting on them

Quote:

each of the 5 consignment boxes is rioted 21 million

*chortle*
First 'riting' now 'rioted'. It's 'written' man .. jeez.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 10 Jan 2010 Posts: 503

Nice ID, what happened to his head? looks a bit squashed, is he a conehead in disguise.

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 11:45 am

This lad is just off the charts. (tehe)

Quote:

consignment boxes are 8 5 consignment

The boxes have multiply like a virus from 8 to 85!!!

What a deal for $120.00 that he does NOT need.

Quote:

i am only doing my job i dont need your money

Since he gave no address, I assume that he does not even want your money.... Wink

So is the $120 for pater or paper. Now I am confused on this...

Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 9:52 am

We're back:

Quote:

Sorry for my let replying as you know i am a pilot i flay to USA and two days ago was weekend here in Ghana but now i am back in Ghana
Lady Helen this your consignment boxes is keeping long here we don't like soc-he consignment boxes or property to keep long here because of security risings if you don't do something about this your consignment boxes from now to a week time if something ha-pone to it pleas don't contact me i hop you get me well. now this is the information i need from you to get your paper from the police.

Your ID card Mobile phone number gender home and office address

Now us this information below and send US$120 to Western union

......................@r1nz3
......................Ndubu0kwu

best regards
Pilot M@rt1ns F0su

Hmm... He needs "Lady Helen's" gender? Someone needs to tell this lad about the birds and the bees.

And what ID card should I send? I may send him my supermarket points reward card (unnamed).

I hope he doesn't flay away too often. The security risings might make things too complicated.

Too bad there's no WU in Japan - I'll have to think of another way of sending him his money.

Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 1:06 pm

As English is the International aviation language and pilots need to pass at least GSCE A-C grade jsut to start traning, this guy has no chance of getting off the ground in the cockpit. He would be better strapping a few kilos of high explosives to his butt (actually, ignore that, there are enough dumb ass terrorists as it is)

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