Your Best Slap

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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 1:33 am

Thought this would be an interesting discussion, what has been your funniest or best slap? How did your lad respond ect.

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 4:10 am

The best slap is my poor friend in London got robbed and needs money to get back home.

So lucky for her I am only a few K away. I offered to help, dinner, reservations, trip to the airport etc.

After being stood up she asked for me to send money by Western Union.

The slap was slamming the request as stupid. It costs money to send WU. I made another dinner date..

Response was the lad vanished. Read it in the I was Hacked bait. Lad torment continues.

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 5:09 am

Rather recent. Using the "accidentally stumbled upon the e-mails"
modality. Back-story. Boyfriend has I.Q. of 90, he has possibly been getting "taken to the cleaners" by an unknown contact on the Internet.

This was fun. As a female. I opened a new account at g-mail called:
< fraudkiller666@....> So I blasted Laddo with a torrent of profanity and cursing that would make Ozzy blush, and sailors complain about the foul language. The original contact could not have gotten away with it.

It felt incredibly good to release all frustration with the mega-tonnage of World War V.(WW 5) In one HUGE explosion.

UK lawyer responds with a very caaaaalm explanation. She apologizes for the out-burst, opens a new acct. valleygirl and that was approx. 7 weeks ago and they still write once / day. Great friends now. Day 80.

(Deleted two of the triple posts - Connie)

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 10 Jan 2010 Posts: 503

As per my sigi Dav1d Owusu. The lad was very dim and made no effort. He sent me a death certificate that was rubbish, he sent me a reply with some of his comments below, he was really wounded by my slap. I also got a lot of God has guided me etc etc. So I insulted him more by saying that he must be doing something wrong as it was not working for him, I even insulted his "wife" as well.

He really thought I was being barbaric to him. I made him give me another death certificate that was truly worse than the first. I gave up on him when he handed me to his "banker", obviously just a clueless as it was him.

I had to give up on him as all he did was whinge and be lazy and I didn't have time to waste on him as I had better baits.

It still probably was one of my best slaps though as every email he sent he got a "what sort of crap is this" reply.

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 9:55 am

My fave was actually a slap war between me (a spinsterish woman) and Henry (the scamming parasite). It all started when Henry thought he was going to get a payday at the local WU...

<snip>Honey you know that before am a sailor , now My GOD ANSWER the ship what $2M USD or more, Am planing how to move the ship UK or America, Now i need a woman to marry sharp sharp .Abi.
Na Godoooooooooooo.Honeyyyyyyyyyyy.

Oh my goodness, Henry! Are you proposing marriage? I am so flattered I don't know what to say. Oh my. I think I am blushing! Just thinking about it gets me all dizzy.... I haven't felt like that in years. O h goodness me.

why honey you lie to me, no money inside the information at western union that you send, they say no money ,why you lie to me? <snip> Listen am not proposing you but am only talking my plan as a man,my next step in future ok, I wait your urgent reply .

WHAT? YOU ARE WITHDRAWING YOUR MARRIAGE PROPOSAL? HOW DARE YOU LEAD ME ON AND TOY WITH MY FEELINGS LIKE THAT!!! YOU'RE CARRYING ON WITH MY SISTER AREN'T YOU? SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T GET INTO HER EMAIL BUT I'LL BET YOU HAVE BEEN ROMANCING HER THIS WHOLE TIME HAVEN'T YOU? YOU DIRTY TWO-TIMING BASTARD CASTING ME ASIDE LIKE AN OLD GLOVE. I DON'T EVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!

go to hell you basterd deceiver, you clain to send money to me but fake,please go

Why you horrible, horrible man. You deceive me into thinking you want to marry me and then call ME the deceiver. I think you were just saying those nice things to try to get my money. You are a bad man Mr. Tupe3y.

i want to marry you before but you deceive me by sending me fake control number, wont see that your liar. just send me to western union by fake information ,your wicked woman.

Now you want to marry me again? Why on earth would I consider such a thing after your insults? I am sorry the western union receipt didn't come through properly. I don't know how to do such things. But will not stand for your insults.

so you think that after you help come over to USA i will go for another woman God forbid, listen am a full time christian i do what is God in sight of people.

Henry put up a fight but he finally came around. Very Happy

This exchange took place a couple of weeks ago. We are still dancing. Next up... moneygram security forms. Hope Henry has his pencil sharpened.

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:22 am

One vintage moment for my Cammy persona was inspired by some very dodgy documents:

Quote:

Yes, I received the affidavit.
And you know what? I am so glad I didn't send the money! Do you want to know why? BECAUSE THAT 0GUKWU HAS THE BRAINS OF A FUCKING CABBAGE!
Right there, on that affidavit sworn before the High Court, in nice clear lettering, it says that I, C4m1ll3 M1ch3ll3 Wh1te, am the UNCLE of the late Fr4nk Ch4n! Right now I want to tear his tiny little head off and spit down his fucking neck! DOES THAT FUCKWIT KNOW ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN? IF HE DOES THEN I WANT TO SEE HIS EXCUSE FOR GETTING IT SO FUCKING WRONG!

Mal is more restrained:

Quote:

I'm sorry I called you a retard – you're worse than that; you're a low-grade cretin and moron. THERE IS NO INVOICE!
What the hell can be done to make you do the simplest thing?

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:27 am

Quote:

I'm sorry I called you a retard – you're worse than that; you're a low-grade cretin and moron

Well played, Yastreb! Very Happy

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 3:26 pm

For future reference

Quote:

Class IQ
Profound mental retardation Below 20
Severe mental retardation 20–34
Moderate mental retardation 35–49
Mild mental retardation 50–69
Borderline intellectual functioning 70–84

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 3:42 pm

"Sir, you are exhibiting signs of profound mental retardation."

I would slap because it was Monday when I first started baiting. I thought it was funny. It really was not. Questioning a lad's sexual tendencies does not progress a bait nor does demeaning individuals that have different levels of abilities. I now only slap for three reasons. If I get a real passport I slap the lad. If a lad calls me a "Sir", I have a few hugh TIF cheese cake photos that I forward to him with a canned response. When the lad cannot pick up the money I ask why he is not serious.

The passport lad will twig. The recipient of the cheesecake photos is knocked off his script and usually professes their love for me. The WU lad will try harder the next time.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 4:38 pm

My favorite one might be the one my character Pat C0kin of MM gave to Dr. O. The Toadman. Very Happy

Quote:

Dear Dr. David O.,

My observation of you is that you do not possess or use a calendar or a watch.
You also have no prescience, which is a required and highly valued attribute of
all of our agents worldwide. You also dismiss all of our management's requests.
You seem to think that your way of doing things (i.e. wasting our time) will
please us and is ok. You are entirely wrong about that. You seem to think we
enjoy wasting our breath on you.

I think you may have the intelligence of a bullfrog and your flowery language is
not impressive at all to me. It sounds like the croaking of a bullfrog during mating
season and is just as intelligible. I know that my cat, M0lly M00 McG00, is
smarter than you are. She knows exactly what time breakfast, lunch, and dinner
is. She also knows when bedtime is as well, and comes in from her hunting trips
outside on time every time. You, on the other hand, are dumber than a stump.
In fact, it might be an insult to stumps to call you that.

Using "holidays" as an excuse to miss important deadlines is not acceptable.
Deadlines will always be met by our agents or there will be conseqences for
them. We have given you more than enough of our time and have been more than
patient with you. You were given adequate instructions and warnings about the
consequences of your unacceptable behavior. You chose to ignore them, not send
us the required security photo as instructed, and so you have given me no choice
but to burn your application.

Goodbye, Dr. David O. Go croak in someone else's ear. I'm sick of the
sound of you. You decided to test me, and you lost. That is a sure sign of
stupidity. Nobody is allowed to test me at this company, just as we are not
allowed to test God Himself. Over and out.

Sincerely,
Ms. P@tricia Cr0k1n

Result? His application forms and ID-10T security photo arrived the next day! Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 4:38 pm

Lad stopped going to Moneygram after six failed attempts to collect his $1,000. (It's funny how a mild case of dyslexia can royally screw up those Reference Codes!)

So I slapped him with:

Quote:

You are so lazy you probably shit in bed at night and kick it out. Am I right?

He replied by calling me a scammer:

Quote:

YOU LAZY BABOON AND Retard scammer monkey foooooooooooool. Hahahahaha!

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 11:26 pm

I don't know if this was my "best" slap, because it was a very casual slap by me. However, the pain of the slap came in the thought of him losing his hard earned (stolen) money because he lost his temper with me.

My lad wrote this to me when it looked like I couldn't get my hands on the money he wanted me to send him (and he had previously been rude to me and called me a "bastard"):

Quote:

Please don't write me anylonger because there's no reason for any more communication since you have messed everything up and i cannot continue to waste my time wtih a BASTARD like you. If you hadn't foolishly exposed your plan to that fellow fool of yours this problems wouldn't have arised so who are to blame I or You?

Please don't write back or else you have money because the reason why i contacted you is to help finance this business and since you cannot do that there's no more need for this relationship.

I responded with this casual slap:

Quote:

james when i went to work yesterday and explained to the accountaint about my situation and offerd him $500 if he gave me the $2700 that was raised for the fake zoo. he took my offer so now i have $2200 in my hands. but since u dont fell like you owe me an apology for calling me a bastard i will keep the money myself. we could have been good busness partners but ur shitty attitude and deceptidness ruined it.

This led to a LONG series of groveling emails from him apologizing profusely, which is why I enjoyed this slap the most! You could just feel the pain and regret in his emails.

Here's a small excerpt from one of his many apology emails:

Quote:

Please I am on my knee begging as I understand your efforts so far and i will definetly apprecaite it at the end of this Business. I never mean't to hot you God knows my heart please forgive me you are never a Bastard it was a sleep of tougue.

Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 9:27 pm

Dear Nancy, I'm tired of this so,
SLAP!
Lad replied with

Quote:

Dear Ivor,
What do you mean with the big slap?

Wasted it on him. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 5:55 am

Julia Kainomaa bashing the lad's Barrister wrote:

Dear Irahim Zanngo,

Your lawyer is completely useless and I blame her for not being able to do her job properly. She tells me to send the money to you so I tried to send it to you and than you say it has to be send to someone else. Who is this other person? What does schee want huh? How did schee hlep aus with this transaction? Schee shoodn't get a seengel dime for anything. Schee hazn't w=orked for it .

Sincerelhy,

Julia Kainomaa

Ibarhiim Zangoo wrote:

You are the person useless, do you thing i'm here for jokes ?? Mind yourself and how you talk to people to avoid landing your very self behind bars.

Bye.

Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:46 am

In our Spooner baits we do like to push the envelope with our pets and often go way beyond good baiting practice, if we lose the bait it is no big problem to us, we can always get another pet and by that stage we normally have their scripts posted at Scamwarners anyway.

Showing how a slap can ruin a bait or how to get your lad back after slapping too hard is just part of the game.

I have done my fair share of slapping, this is not my favourite slap but certainly up there.

We start with Wayno, the lad we baited for about 6 months and who provided 7 bank accounts as well as details of another victim;

We had tried without success to get money to him but somebody kept chopping the payments.

Quote:

Sweetcheeks.... distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.. I miss you so much my darling angel....

Am grateful for you total support.. I do wish you get back with the details I demand from you.. so that I can get money today..

Your Darling Prince Wayno

Not too bad a thing for a lad to say, who cares, a paranoid lad is so much more fun.

Quote:

Wayno you arxxwipe, you have no rite to make demands on me, I have done all I can to help you but you have done fxxx all to help yourself, you keep changing things and fxxking about, your too fxxking lazy to go to the local airport to pick up cash from ny pilot and now all the sudden because you are too fxxking stupid you say it is all my fault, as if that isn't bad enough you now want to make demands on me

Well FXXK YOU, you have no fxxking right at all to make any demands on me, go and get yourself fxxked.

I even set my alarm early on a saturday morning to make sure you sorted it all out and I find this "I demand from you" FXXK OFF you worthless maggot and never ever make a demand on me ever again, AM NOT YOUR FXXKING SLAVE

He responded initially with a stolen love poem Laughing

The bait continued for another 2 months Wink

The unedited version and lead up is here Click here for NSFW Language

Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 9:30 am

Not so much a slap, but the format of one of mine allowed me to verbally abuse the scammer without jeopardising the bait. Smile

www.scamorama.com/prolite_agnes_hitlad.html

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 6:04 pm

Fowan Nyne wrote:

Dear Nancy, I'm tired of this so,
SLAP!

I like this one. That's a big SLAP! Thumbs up