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 My test of Englishness form

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llamedos
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I've only used it lightly and this is the first time any lad has returned it..
and this particular lad hasn't really done a good job (one of the page's is even out of sequence, godammit!) so of course it'll have to be done again.

However.
Introducing Miss from an asylum camp in Senegal
(The lad sent it back as a .pdf)

Some of his answers leave a lot to be desired Smile
Linky thing

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Branwen
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love it. I love the Lad's answers .... and the twisted mind that thought up the questions too!

And brilliant work to get a Refugee Lad to fill it in!

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Vampiremerchant
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

WTF Get rid of Scotland ? and the cheeky sod answered Yes.... Laughing

Have to agree devious questions and well done getting him to even answer what he did !

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manbiteslion
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Brilliant form, and epic fail filling it in Wink

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callum
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 8:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Height - 5.6 inches

I'd be tempted to ask "Are you sure that is the height, or is it the length? And of what exactly?"

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Technomancer
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 9:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Vampiremerchant wrote:
WTF Get rid of Scotland ? and the cheeky sod answered Yes.... Laughing


Now I'm seriously tempted to bait her too! Evil or Very Mad lol

I wonder if she used Google or Wikipedia on some of those answers though... Wink

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llamedos
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^^^
Almost certainly.

Although I'd love to see the Wiki entry that states that the first postage stamp was called "Stalin and Maozedong" Shocked Laughing

If you fancy a go and you need the catcher email, let me know Wink

EDIT
Another baiter is busy with her
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1514740#1514740

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SweetSadie
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 9:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Being from Scotland I don't really approve either, but these forms are completely brilliant! What a fantastic waste of time for your lad. Shame they're going to have to be rejected eh?

Love the five English counties he came up with. He's certainly bigheaded enough to be English Laughing

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devil_woman
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 10:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ If those are 5 English counties send him to Liberia!

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Otterfan
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A neighbouring country... Durham?

I'm going to need a passport to leave town today!

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Awesome form! Laughing

I also love how organized the English are.

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Kokomeister
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The Tramp didn't even complete the forms out entirely, especially the one's that ask her to explain her answer. Laughing

Nice work! Very Happy

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

clapping clapping clapping

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Darken
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You could easily pull him on any number of inconsistencies he's put in the form:

Have you ever visited England? No
List all the countries you've visited: Senagal
Which was your favirourite country: England

And if that wasn't bad enough, right under he put:

Who do you like the most: British
Who do you like the least: British

And what the hell does this mean:

Do you spit or swallow? No.
Does he just swill it around or something?

Plenty of others that are wrong or just not filled out. He really needs to do it again.

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zaphoid23
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^^

The question should be Spit, Swallow, or Gargle

Zaph The Filthy

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llamedos
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, I've given the lad a few pointers toward filling out the form - I just hope that Laddo doesn't google my characters name...
Lord Belborough

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Quote:
from
to
date Tue, Mar 23, 2010 at 11:19 AM
subject Re: Thank you for the form

My Dearest Rose,

I am, as ever, ecstatic to read an email from you, and I quite understand the difficulty you face with the form although for a first attempt, I have to applaud your efforts.
I must confess to having tears in my eyes at the thought of the effort you are putting into completing the form for me.
The form is designed to be a little tricky, you see My Dear, in order to ensure that we don't just accept any old Hoi Polloi into the shores of the UK.
Uncontrolled immigration would be a terrible thing, and I'm sure no UK government would be so stupid as to let such a thing happen.
My Dear, in my role as your sponsor, I cannot help you by completing the form myself; it has to be done in your hand.
However, there is nothing in law that says that I can't help you with a few pointers, so to speak.
Now, I am reliably informed that, for example, entering the dates of a King (or Queen) from the form into a suitable "search engine" will result in the information about that particular King (or Queens) reign being displayed.
For Example:
If you were to enter Charles II (from the form) into a search engine, you will see:
Charles II (29 May 1630 – 6 February 1685)
The date is the figure that should be entered into the space next to Charles II on the form
In fact, just the years will suffice if the exact date isn't given.
A similar result will be achieved by entering a date from the form
For Example:
Entering 1272 -1307 into a search engine will give the result Edward I Longshanks
Which is the name of the King who reigned between the years 1272 - 1307
Simply repeat the above exercise with the other Historical people/dates from the form and you have no trouble at all.

However, I would like to point out a number of errors you need to address.
Where you were requested to list 5 Previous Prime Ministers - you listed Gordon Brown.
My Dear, he is a current Prime Minister, and (unfortunately) not a 'previous' one, so he cannot be included on that particular list.
Then is the name of the first stamp.
I can tell you it is called the 'Penny Black', and most definitely not "Stalin and Maozedong"
Besides, those two particular gentlemen weren't even born when the first stamp was issued, so it could hardly be named after them, could it?
Name 5 counties of England - perhaps I could explain here. Counties are 'regions' within England such as Cornwall and Yorkshire. Perhaps here it might be helpful to locate a map of the 'Counties of England' via a suitable search engine.
You failed to indicate England on the map of Europe within the form - it would be difficult for to arrive here if you cannot locate it geographically.

The trick to completing the form, My Dear is a little bit of detective work, coupled with a few guesses as not everything is easily resourced.

Do your best, My Dear. You have made a noteworthy effort so far and it would be a shame if anything were to go wrong at this time in our adventure together.
I am longing to have you over here and around the Hall - it could certainly do with a spring clean.

Yours fondly


@Zaphoid
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Thanks for all the input from everyone else - much appreciated Cool

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Safari Accra - Lome (16/7/05 midnight - 5am) Safari Accra - Lome - Benin Jul '11

Barrister Addo Williams: I want you to know that I am not impressed with your performance towards this project.
Mattins Wilson: ...and they stated morken me and tarfing at me as if am a full, so please it is enough OK. /AND/ I promise you for all this furffring that you are furffring to me <--- No, I haven't a clue either
Peter Ovdo: I want you to have trust in me that all is ok as stated in my last mail to you which i wrote in big letters

Ethel Gnassingbe: FOUK YOU AND GO TO HELL

"I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up"
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Vampiremerchant
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 4:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I see what you mean about googling the name !

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