Paging Mr Rez - or is it Reez?

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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 3:42 pm

Your lad Hammed Bolkiah has been on the phone today, 7 recorded calls, nothing overly interesting, other than wasting his time spelling my email address so I can chop your dolla.

he has sent me this :

Quote:

Dear Rez

I want you to write Mr. Mario Belfiore now (<snip>@gmail.com), who is the clearing agent consultant of the British Airways, London in charge of your luggage containing the $5.2m. Tell him that I have notified you that your luggage containing your valuable items is with him in his custody for you and demand for his personal phone number to reach him.

Let him know you can meet him today. Keep me posted + 234 <snip> 407 29 when you have written him or when he has reached you and please write him now.

Thanks

Hammed Bolkiah

If you could let me know who you are I'll let you have the rest of the details. If not, I'll be choppin your dolla

Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:14 pm

That's one big suitcase.
Even if it was several it would be well over the 20Kg limit or even the 35 kg limit .
This could be a scammer Genus type called 'The Underestimator'
Smile

Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:09 pm

Speed baiting 101 :
Mar 16, 2010, 4:26 PM

Quote:

Dear Hammed,

Due to the delays in clearing the $5.2m in the bank out, which I have contacted you to receive for me. Some official were trying to move the money $5.2m in the luggage to Switzerland before I was noticed by a friend whom I pre-informed and also an officials as well.

Right now, your funds in the luggage $5.2m is at Heathrow Airport, London and I would want you to go there and meet with the person in charge of the luggage at the clearing house. That works with British Airways, London so that he you can immediately receive it for me. Let me know if you can be there tomorrow so that I can give you more details?

Thanks
Hammed

Mar 16, 2010, 4:27 PM

Quote:

I have received the message below, what are the contact details for the person at the airport?

Mar 16, 2010, 4:28 PM

Quote:

Dear Rez

I want you to write Mr. Mario Belfiore now ([email protected]), who is the clearing agent consultant of the British Airways, London in charge of your luggage containing the $5.2m. Tell him that I have notified you that your luggage containing your valuable items is with him in his custody for you and demand for his personal phone number to reach him.

Let him know you can meet him today. Keep me posted + 234 <snip> 407 29 when you have written him or when he has reached you and please write him now.

Thanks

Hammed Bolkiah

Mar 16, 2010, 4:36 PM

Quote:

Dear Mr Bolkiah,
With reference to the message below I am to understand that you have the luggage at the airport. As per the previous telephone discussions I shall be able to come to the airport tomorrow and collect it.

What time should I be there?
Do you have a phone number I can call you on?

Mr Rez

Mar 16, 2010, 4:40 PM
He repeats his last message

Mar 16, 2010, 4:41 PM

Quote:

Mr Bolkiah,

I have written to Mr Belfiore, do you have a phone number for him?

Rez

Mar 16, 2010, 5:06 PM

Quote:

Please email Mr. Mario now to his email address there. You can reach me + 234 <snip> 407 29 or + 234 <snip> 63442. Let me know on phone call when Mr. Mario has reached you. Please endeavor to send him your phone number to reach you as I will do same.

Mar 16, 2010, 5:08 PM

Quote:

I will wait until he contacts me and hopefully he will include his phone number, you can let him have mine or I can include it in the next message I send to him.

Mr Rez

Mar 16, 2010, 5:10 PM

Quote:

I have sent you his email, check it.

Mar 16, 2010, 5:15 PM

Quote:

I have the email address for Mario but no phone number, perhaps he will include it when he replies.

Rez

Mar 16, 2010, 5:19 PM

Quote:

Ok, he will get to you as I have not his phone number. Hope you included your phone number to have him call you?

Mar 16, 2010, 5:22 PM

Quote:

Mr Bokiah,
I didn't include my number in the first message, but will do so in the second. He has not contacted me yet.

Mar 16, 2010, 5:27 PM

Quote:

Yes, please include it now and send a mail to him. I have already submitted your phone number to him, but still I want you to write him your phone number also to make sure it’s the same. You can reach me on + 234 80 <snip> 29 or + 234 70 <snip>34 42.

Mar 16, 2010, 5:32 PM

Quote:

Dear Mr Marion,

Mr Bolkiah has asked me that I also include my telephone number so that you might contact me.

You can reach me 0208 133 <snip>.

I will meet either you or your assistant tomorrow at Heathrow.

Mr Rez

Mar 16, 2010, 5:46 PM

Quote:

Yes, he definitely would include. He will give a ring shortly as he could be busy. But I want you to meet him tomorrow for clearance. So that he can assist you for clearance and also deposit the funds into your bank account. I will send you my bank account details to pay my share into it when you have met and cleared the funds out from him to your bank account.

here piggy piggy piggy!

Mar 16, 2010, 6:05 PM

Quote:

Dear Hammed,
I have not had a call yet, are your sure that he is at work today?

Mr Rez

In the background Mr Gomer is quietly trying to chop his dolla. If you own this bait you need to get a move on before we chop you dolla.

edit to add:
Mar 16, 2010, 6:05 PM

Quote:

Dear Rez.

Thanks for the email to Mr. Mario. Please I want you to wait for his email. So that he can inform you on the clearance details for tomorrow. Mr. Mario is a very good man that has made out room for clearance and he will assist you to deposit the funds into your bank account, just to avert eye brow rising when doing it alone.

Keep me posted when he has reached you, as he is a very busy man but will definitely get across to you.

Bolkiah

I've never been able to do that Spock thing with the one eyebrow, it appears that I have to practice.

Mar 16, 2010, 6:14 PM

Quote:

Mr Bolkiah,

He is leaving it rather late in the day to phone me, I will only be here for a little while longer.
I need him to contact me with the details as soon as possible so that I can make the proper arrangements to meet him.

Rez

Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:28 pm

Wow that is speedy! All in the same day, wow this lad must have been really bored. Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:39 pm

He isn't done yet.

Mar 16, 2010, 6:30 PM

Quote:

I cannot tell on the exact time but that you have emailed his is ok for now. He is a very busy man and will email you back shortly. Just give me a call when he has reached you.

Mar 16, 2010, 6:36 PM

Quote:

he still hasn't called yet

Rez

Doesn't he know that I'm supposed to be building a model railway? I just haven't got the time for this.
Oh well, I suppose, as its him......

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 1:45 pm

Double posting to add what happened while I was asleep.

Mar 16, 2010, 8:16 PM

Quote:

Dear Rez.

Ok, thanks for the update. About what time are you meeting with them at Heathrow Airport tomorrow? I want that you go on time so that there is ample time to have the box cleared and all funds paid into your bank account same tomorrow.

I want you to use this medium to know if your bank account can receive the whole $5.2m once or more time, if so is fine, but if you would want the deposit of the $5.2m to be split to different accounts of yours, I would want you to tell Mr. Mario or Mr. Gomer so that it is taken into consideration.

Bolkiah

Mario Belfiore sent it to me on Mar 17, 2010, 2:20 PM

Quote:

Attn: Mr.Rez

Re:Release of your Consignment at Heathrow airport

Sir,

This is to notify you that Consignment Ref Nos: USB/IR/456-1001 with depositor code No: USB/IR/70079855534.14/-001/10 has arrived London Heathrow airport, information from the HM British Customs to us has it that the consignment is now ready to be processed and released to you.

In accordance with the procedures and the guideline you are required to provide to us with the following requirements for confirmation purposes and to facilitate the immediate clearing/ release of your Consignment.

1. Come along with copy of your International Passport and /or your Driver’s license which are the only acceptable forms of identification.

2.The clearing/release charge

3.Reconfirm your full names,direct phone number and address in your next mail.

Appointment will be scheduled for you for the release of your Consignment at Heathrow airport as soon as I receive your swift reply, you will be directed and advised the terminal to meet with me at Heathrow airport,London as soon as I hear from you.

For further clarifications, contact the undersigned.

Yours Faithfully,

Mr.Mario Belfiore
Clearing/releasing officer
London Heathrow airport

oh, release fees. oh dear.
Mar 17, 2010, 2:43 PM

Quote:

Mr Belfiore,
I've sent the phone number, so did Hammed, but you didn't call.
What is all this about release fees? no one mentioned them before.

You were supposed to ring me.

Rez

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:50 pm

Triple post to add some stuff.
After much swapping of emails and me sending him a couple of 'light' slaps
e.g.

Quote:

Hammed,

You have managed to find the world's most incompetent <beep>wit retard on the planet. For such an important deal I thought you would have found someone who could at least find his own <beep> with both hands. Get rid of this moron and find someone with a least one <beep>ing brain cell. How can I treat you as a <beep>ing serious business partner when all I get is the <beep>head from outer space to deal with?

Obviously my <beep>ing phone is <beep>ing working, who did you call just now? The <beep>ing Arch-Angel Gabriel? tell the moron to get the fingers out of his <beep> and onto the right buttons on his <beep>ing phone.

Rez

4 phone calls today.
Hammed to me, followed by a second Hammed one, Mario at long last, (nice Italian Lad) and finally Hammed again. I'll have to see if they compare notes. The Mario one is quite entertaining. If anyone could get to the Costa Coffee Shop by 19:00, please feel free to chop my dolla.
Many thanks to Slaphappy for recording them and converting them so they could be posted. Mildly (actually very in places, NSFW)

Call 1 coming as soon as Slap can find it
Hammed 2
Mario 1
Hammed 3

Edit to get calls in right sequence, hopefully.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:30 pm

crap! that first one isn't Hammed! my mistake..i'll go get the right one, if i have it..
Embarassed

EDIT: Hammed 1 link above is not the right one. I can't seem to find the correct one. Sorry, IG.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:08 pm

Great work! Wink

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 12:53 pm

Sadly I didn't meet Marion a the airport, but I did meet with his assistant, Mr Gomer. Strangely Mario has never heard of him. If I can post today's first phone call it'll be worth listening to.

Hammed sent this message this morning after I told him I would be meeting Mr Gomer today. (it appears that Hammed is not aware of Mr Gomer doing a chop on Mario)

Mar 19, 2010, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Ok, finalize today with the clearance/ Ball me when you have finalized.

Do what?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:28 pm

I know you and Hammed are close, IG, and you were thinking of meeting him in the men's room at the airport, but gee whizz, he could be a little less blatant about it couldn't he? Laughing

Here is the call just completed. Mario got a first time education on what it's like to get chopped. Rez still has the cash, but I bet he won't have it by the end of today. Thanks for asking me to work on these lads with you, IG. This is fun! :0

http://www.4shared.com/file/244598375/2f12a543/mariochop01_19_Mar_2010_08_19_.html

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:46 pm

Hammed isn't happy
Mar 19, 2010, 2:12 PM

Quote:

I do not trust your email again and I do not see you fit to receive this funds for me, because your email and the way you write me looks negative. Please stop every deal you have with Mr. Gomer as I do not know him. I also spoke to Mr. Mario shortly, he said he was at the airport yesterday waiting for you and did not see you, I guess you may have been dealing with the wrong person.

Please call Mr. Mario and finalize with him, meet him only and I am not ok with you not to have a mobile number. I am tired of calling a voice mail phone.

Mar 19, 2010, 2:19 PM

Quote:

Please call Mr. Mario alone and meet with him, the luggage has your details as there could be an intruder as I do not want the luggage to be stolen to avert lost of effort. From the way you are handling things there, I am not comfortable with you.

Please do not pay any clearance fee to Mr. Gomer but Mr. Mario. This is why you need cell phone to always update you. The negative aspect again is that you do not call me and I am not ok with that.

If you come without meeting Mr. Mario means you have lost the transaction, because I will tell Mr. Mario to stop further dealing with you.

Mar 19, 2010, 2:36 PM

Quote:

That you cannot call me when your own phone is not going means you are not serious and is formulating stories. I have always said Mr. Mario from the cradle and I see no reason why you said Mr. Gomer. I was thinking Mr. Gomer is with Mr. Mario till I confirmed that Mr. Mario that he doesn’t know Mr. Gomer. That means you are laboring under a misapprehension.

As I am on my way to the airport I can't reply, but I'd be tearing him of a strip for involving Mr Gomer if I could.

I'm due to meet Mt Bellfiore at 3pm so I should get a call around 3:30 all being well.

edit to add yet another message :
Mar 19, 2010, 2:54 PM

Quote:

Please if Mr. Gomer takes you to Mr. Mario. Confirm with Mr. Mario if he is the one with the number you reach him. Because at this stage now, I am not happy to see that there is a mix-up to avert you from paying to the wrong people as I guess someone may have been tampering with my email to see our communication. Do not let this turn to the way you paid to Mr. Chukwu mistakenly as this is the final stage to get the funds. So be very careful and finalize with Mr. Mario alone and alone.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:32 pm

OopS! A deal from Mr. G0mer to Hammed and a chop of Mario. The phone should be ringing again soon! Let's see how Hammed deals with this! Laughing

Quote:

subject RE: Mr. Rez

Dearest Hammed,

This email may come as a surprise to you, but I am Mr. G0mer.
Mario is a complete and utter fool. It was so easy for me to meet with Mr. Rez ahead of your boy, who sat for hours probably waiting for Mr. Rez. hahaha. I just stood by the train platform, and waited for Mr. Rez to walk off, while your boy was sipping coffee and lounging in the coffee shop. What a nincompoop he is.

I will make a deal with you, however. First of all, fire that incompetent idiot Mario, as he is too lazy and slow to handle this job, or any other one, for that matter. He's a real big joke, that guy Mario.
Next, do not say anything to Mr. Rez about me, Mr. G0mer, except to tell Mr. Rez that I am taking Mario's place in this transaction. You will tell Mr. Rez that Mario was fired for gross business misconduct, and that Mr. Rez will not have to deal with Mario again. Mr. Rez will deal with me, Mr. G0mer from this point onward.

Mr. Rez is ready to accept more fees in order to receive his consignment, so more than $4,500 is in the bag, if you do things my way.
I will offer you a 70/30 split, 70% going to me, and 30% to you. This is a take it or leave it deal. If you do not agree, I will just take the entire 4500, and more down the road on my own. You have little time to decide on this, so act fast and get back to me soon. I'll be meeting Mr. Rez later today, in a few hours time.

It's so nice doing business with you, Mr. Hammed.

Warmest regards,
Mr. 0latunji G0mer

-----

subject Thanks for your dollar, Mr. Mario

Dearest Mario,

I have met with Mr. Rez like you asked, and things are well in hand and taken care of. I was missing some paperwork, but should have it straightened out and have Mr. Rez's funds early this afternoon. I have a meeting scheduled for Covent Garden. I will report later when the transaction is completed. Thank you for allowing me to take care of this for you. Don't worry. I will cover for your laziness and lack of getting to this quality customer in time to Mr. Hammed. hahaha.

I will enjoy collecting from Mr. Rez today, and will enjoy a cool draft in the pub later, my pockets full of his cash. It's a crying shame that you don't have the common sense to meet Mr. Rez where he asks you to.

The early bird catches the worm, and a cat is smarter than a dog.

Warmest regards,
One love, Mr. 0latunji G0mer.

Update! Seems that Hammed is going to rat on Mr. G0mer. Wrong choice! Twisted Evil

Quote:

G0mer is fake, trying to make a deal with me.
Hammed Bolkiah sent it to me on Mar 19, 2010, 4:54 PM
<snipped a copy of Mr. G0mer's eamil.>

Soon the panic will set in, waiting for Rez's response. Laughing

Another update, came in as I was posting above. Panic!! Laughing

Quote:

Please arrest G0mer now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No label
Hammed Bolkiah sent it to me on Mar 19, 2010, 4:58 PM

Dear Mr. Rez.

I just got a mail from Mr. 0latunji G0mer, he is impersonating and telling lies. I will advise you hold him and arrest him as he is an internet hacker that got into our business. A copy of the mail he wrote he is below and do not communicate with him to finalize further but to arrest him.

Call Mr. Mario and apologies for not meeting with him as he is worried and angry that you never came yesterday, not knowing that Mr. G0mer is priming into our transaction.

Hammed
-----------------------
Mail from G0mer to me.
-----------------------
< snipped G0mer's email to him again>

=======
more panic... Very Happy

RE: Update No label
Hammed Bolkiah sent it to me on Mar 19, 2010, 5:03 PM

I also sent a copy of the mail from Mr. G0mer to Mr. Mario, to see if he could have him arrested. Let me know when you have reached Mr. Mario and endeavor to arrest Mr. G0mer as I may take the risk of flying down so soon to see Mr. G0mer in jail.

Sweet chop. I'd like to see Mr. G0mer in jail, too. Laughing

Update! This one sent to Mr. G. just before the other two to Rez. Mr. G.'s sure he doesn't like his attitude! Evil or Very Mad

Quote:

From Hammed
Dear 0latunji G0mer,

Thanks for writing me; I am not a boy in the game of guy. I will tell you to allow Mr. Mario to finish his work irrespective. You can only take the 4500 pounds but you cannot take the work. You may tell him anything to spoil the work and I do not give a damn. Thanks for playing smart as I wonder how you go this details.

Please call me + 234 xxxxxxxxx or + 234 xxxxxxxx if you want to dance to my own tune.

Hammed Bolkiah

Sorry. Gomey don't play dat! Smile

Quote:

Dearest Mr. Hammed,

You seem to be afflicted with the same thing that Mario has. Foolishness. First of all, you and Mario are boys. I'm the Chairman here, as look how I have beaten you and have the upper hand right now. hahaha. You also cannot order me to allow Mario to do his work or stop me from taking the work. Mario is fired off of this job effective immediately and I have informed him of his new status as the King Of Fools, and you will take orders from me, Chairman G0mer.

Since you have annoyed me with your insulting email, I have now lowered your cut to 25% of this deal. I will easily get a cool $50000 out of this deal or more. So, you are telling me that you will turn down my most recent offer of $13,625, just to play along and tell Mario to go blow himself? Could you be this stupid a small laddie now?

In meeting Mr. Rez, he seems to be a rather befuddled sort, and easily swayed by my persuasive skills. I can simply tell him and produce proof that your two numbskulls are 419 scammers, and he will be all mine. He is already very angry with Mario and thinks he is a rude and insensitive businessman, so half the battle is already won. You emails can easily be discarded as the ravings of a scammer, who would do or say anything to get nice Mr. Rez's money. I have won his trust.

I do not dance to your tune, or anyone else's as I am the Chairman.
So, be smart for once in your life. As you can see, I'm a reasonable man. I could have you work for me. You have potential. But not that Mario character. He's dumber than a stump and rude and insulting too.
I heard him talking on his phone in the coffee shop yesterday.
I think I would have to wring his bloody neck inside a week.

Time is wasting. Act fast. And be more pleasant to me next time you write. I'm forgiving you your most recent email as a child's temper tantrum.

Warmest regards,
Chairman G0mer

I hope he doesn't get too pissed off. Smile

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:15 pm

Sent to Hammed Bolkiah on Mar 19, 2010, 8:09 PM

Quote:

Hammed, are you saying that Mr Gomer isn't your contact?

Rez

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:20 pm

Nothing says ""I go chop your dolla to fun size pieces"" better than bringing Mr. G0mer into the bait! Wink

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:43 pm

3 more from Hammed
Mar 19, 2010, 8:28 PM (these are all timed GMT+1 by the way.)

Quote:

Dear Rez.

Yes, he is not my contact and I repeat Mr. Gomer is not my contact as he is an internet hacker. He has said many things to me by email to let me leave you for him and I always tell him NO. Please and please please please!!!!. Do not pay anything to Mr. Gomer but to have him arrested if you can, if you cannot arrest him, meet with Mr. Mario and he will arrest him. Call Mr. Mario now and please plead with him to meet with him for the mistake.

Mr. Gomer succeeded in getting into our conversation and is representing to be in possession of your box as he has none. All I want to hear on Mr. Gomer with his fake custom ID he has is for you to arrest him. A copy of his mail again is attached to enable you that he wants me to have you loose money to keep lying to you and get funds from you.

Thanks
Hammed Bolkiah

Mar 19, 2010, 8:30 PM
This as meant for Mr Gomer.

Quote:

You are very very very crazy and I mean very very crazy for telling this, I know you are an internet hacker to have primed into our business transaction. I pray you are arrested and also jailed till I get to meet with you.

Mar 19, 2010, 8:31 PM

Quote:

Please let me know when you have spoken to Mr. Mario and please try to have all finalized tomorrow.

tomorrow?

This Mr Gomer and copied to me:
Mar 19, 2010, 8:33 PM

Quote:

You are very very very crazy and I mean very very crazy for telling this, I know you are an internet hacker to have primed into our business transaction. I pray you are arrested and also jailed till I get to meet with you.

Gomer wrote about only giving him 25%.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:46 pm

Quote:

I know you are an internet hacker to have primed into our business transaction. I pray you are arrested and also jailed till I get to meet with you.

Mr. G0mer sure knows how to press laddy boy's buttons. As if Dog has time to get people arrested.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:59 pm

last one for tonight
Mar 19, 2010, 8:48 PM

Quote:

Please all what Mr. Gomer has said to you are lies. I advise you have him arrested or avert talking to him further. Call Mr. Mario now as you have not met with him, he is an older man of 67 years and is in charge of your luggage. All what Mr. Gomer has said to you are lies, are you not reading the mails Mr. Gomer is sending me?

Hope you have given him the clearance fee of 4500 pounds which Mr. Mario told you himself? Call Mr. Mario now as I am tired of hearing Mr. Gomer, I have nothing to do with Mr. Gomer and please tell me anything about Mr. Gomer as I do not know him.

Sorry? you want me to give him the £4,500?
Please make your mind up.

Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:00 pm

Every once in a while you feel like you've got under a lad's skin. I just got this one, my comments in red.

Quote:

Mr. Mario is the best person to demand such details from irrespective I will tell him. I am not happy with the way you are doing things oh good. as I sometimes think if you are Mr. Gomer yourself. The emails from Mr. Gomer to me trying to make a deal with me, which I have sent you copies to read is enough to tell you that he is fake and I have said you arrest Mr. Gomer when you see him again or call mR. Mario to help arrest him. have tried arresting the wind? Mr Gomer is just a ghost when he wants to be

I am too big to be belittled wanna bet? and I would not want to mess with Mr. Mario’s integrity either, no poblem, we can do that for you because he has made room for clearance. I do not need to tell you one billion times that you should stop dealing with Mr. Gomer as once is enough. one billion times? I'll need a bigger in box

I have said you call and finalize with Mr. Mario and I did speak or write it in French. that would be why I didn't understand you, I'm Irish Finalize, call, meet with Mr. Mario alone and please do not tell me anything on Mr. Gomer as I do not know him. I am sick over this fucking Mr. Gomer’s name. why? he is such a nice cuddly man.

If you cannot receive the funds for me, I will advise you send me a Power of Attorney to enable someone else receive the $5.2m box for you. I am tired of saying the same thing to you like a boy 10 years. well then, talk like a man The worse thing of all is that you have no phone and I do not fancy emails as it takes time and delays to pass urgent information.

Please keep your head straight as I cannot loose the $5.2m to a pipsqueak. oooo! now you've done it! calling Mr Gomer a pipsqueak! Finalize with Mr. Mario and you need to plead with him as you have toiled with him. You went to the airport without a phone id funny anyway and that is why you are dealing a rat Gomer.

now you call Mr Gomer a rat? oh boi, you is in big trouble now.

Quote:

Hammed, it is late Saturday as I type, I will contact Marion on Monday morning and see what he can send me. I hop Mr Gomer doesn't have access to your e-mails, if he is a fake like you said I think he might be upset not getting the money.

Rez

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:27 pm

OOOOO! "pipsqueek...rat...fucking Mr. G0mer's name..." Twisted Evil

Now he has really raised the hair on Mr. G0mer's back!! Mad

See you tomorrow, IG, for more pain on these laddies. Smile

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:26 am

Wow, you kept the lad on the phone for a full 1/2 hour explaining the meeting with G0mer at the airport. Well done. Beautiful phone call.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:27 pm

Sunday night Frantic lad sent this:

Quote:

Subject: THe way out of this.
Hammed sent it to me on Mar 20, 2010,
From: Hammed

To: Rez

Please forget anything or everything about Mr. Gomer and do not give him any money and I mean do not even talk to him further, talk less of given him anything called money. Just follow up with Mr. Mario henceforth as he is the one that told you the clearance is 4500 pounds and he is the one to receive and finalize with you.

I am writing you from a new email, as I do not know how Mr. Gomer got access to the former email box.

This morning, Hammed is even more worried:

Quote:

Subject: Urgent Update Mr. Rez

Dear Rez,

I want to tell you that Mr. Gomer is a hacker and an intruder, you should ignore him completely and forward any email you receive to Mr. Mario and I for necessary advice and directions. Mr. Mario is a white British citizen and not a black man like Mr. Gomer. Please you must provide a cell phone to reach you just for this transaction, if it's buying a new one, borrowing from a friend, wife or relations, I just would want you to send me a cell phone number where Mr. Mario and I only can reach you only and not your office phone.

You should know as a person that an office phone is not a mobile handset where could be easily reached. Send me a mobile handset phone number and to Mr. Mario only.

If you are forwarding any or every email I send to you to Mr. Gomer, I would advise you stop it now. Please do not let Mr. Gomer know of the new phone number you would be sending as I do not want any intruder to come into this transaction that is at the verge of finishing. Please I would want you to call Mr. Mario now and I mean now with your new cell number because there is no time, since he has been expecting you. Give me a call also with your new phone number.

B0lkiah

Time for some Mr. G. taunting.

Quote:

subject My little turtledove

Dearest Mr. Hahaha Hammed,

You have not given me your answer to my latest offer to you. Are you trying to avoid me?
Don't you realize that doing that is another foolish thing to do? Nobody ever gets away with ignoring
Chairman Gomer. It merely forces me to increase your pain, and makes you an even bigger dunce.
Since you chose to ignore me, your cut has now been reduced to 20% of the total, and you must fire that moron boy, Mario Muckup.

I have all my paperwork in order now to completely convince Mr. Rez that I am the true official in this
transaction, and you and Baby Mario Muckup are the internet fraudstars. I will be meeting Mr. Rez later
today for a fine surf and turf repast, so you had better act fast on this 20% offer within the next few hours,
directly to my email here. Once I sink my knife into that juicy steak, my deal with you will be null and void.

I will eagerly await your positive response. Say something sweet to me next time, and be my pal.
It's International Friendship Week!

One love. Mr. Gomer.

----
subject Your friend Hammed is a dunce and so are you.

Dearest Mario,

Like your friend, Mr. Hammed, you have chosen to ignore me. Big mistake on your part.
Mr. Hammed does not want to see reason in this little $55,000 transaction we have going here.
He has refused my 30% offer, then 25%, and now I have set his cut at 20%, which is good for the next few hours. I'm hoping for a reasonable response from him, as I think we could be very close friends in the
future. You must be shitcanned and put out to pasture by Mr. Hammed though. None of this money will ever reach your hands. I'm so sorry to have to tell you the truth about that. You must be feeling pretty low about now.

I explained to him that you must be cut out of this deal and fired. It's nothing personal, Mr. Mario, just business. My business sense tells me that you are not qualified to be a worker for me. You are far too lazy, and you are a boorish sort of unrefined man. You possess the personality and acumen of a camel, and your voice is like the grating bleating of a goat. When I simply stood on the train platform and whisked Mr. Rez away from you, I knew instantly that you could never be a member of my club. Afterwards, in looking at you fiddle around in the coffee shop with that "I'm so upset and mad right now," look on your face, I had a hard time not bursting out laughing at you.

Now that I have effectively chopped you out of the deal, I will do the same thing to your idiot friend, Mr. Hammed, if he continues to try and play silly games with me. He doesn't realize the reach that I have, and that I can squash him like the bug that he is, if I chose to. I see some potential in that frantic little boy, and at least he is not as lazy as you are. I'm hoping he sees reason soon, and becomes my little boy.

Give a hug to someone today, Mr. Mario. It's International Friendship Week.

Chairman Gomer.

See, Mr. G. is not such a bad guy after all. Smile

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:54 pm

Update! Now the lad wants Mr. Rez to change his mail account and get a mobile phone, desperately! I hope he's enjoying his first chop experience with Mr. G. Smile

Quote:

Mr. Rez writes to Hammed:

Hammed,
I think this Mr Gomer is definately trying to steal your money, please put Mt Belfiore on alert not to deal with anyone but me. I will open a new email account and contact you from there. THis way he won't be able to interfere with our business.

Rez

------
Hammed replies:

Subject: Urgent Email Box Mr. Rez

Dear Mr. Rez.

Yes, you are right as Mr. Gomer is nothing but a blatant liar and a big thief. I want you to open and send the new email address to me and also to Mr. Mario. I am writing you from a new email address also and I guess Mr. Mario may do same. Please Mr. Mario has demanded you get a new and cheap mobile line just for this transaction, as he cannot continue with your office phone not reachable toyou as at when due.

Thanks for the understanding, let me know when you have opened the new email and has discoursed to meet with Mr. Mario?

B0lkiah

Will this get rid of Mr. G.? Hardly. You can't shake him like a dog shakes off water. Evil or Very Mad

EDIT: I wonder if these numbskulls would notice Mr. Rez sending his new email addy to them, using his OLD ADDRESS!!?? It might be funny pulling that one on them and having it rush right over their heads....
Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:53 am

Hammed didn't want to be Mr. G.'s little boi? Smile

Quote:

subject My little stubborn ant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your finro two eyes. You should shove it in your ass.

What is a finro two eyes? Is it possible to do such a thing? Mr. G. will have to ask Hammed. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:50 pm

Yesterday, Mr. Gomer sent his regards again to Hammed:

Quote:

From: Gomer
Subject: Thanks for your well wishes!
To: hammed
Date: Tuesday, March 23, 2010,

My Sweetest friend in the whole wide wonderful world, Hammed,

That was nice of you to call me "My stubborn little ant." It's been quite awhile since anyone has said anything that has touched my heart so deeply as that. The sentence, "Your finro two eyes." makes no sense. This is confusing to me. Ants have 6 eyes in case you are wondering, and what does a Finro grocery store chain have anything to do with my eyes? Unless you mean that my eyes see everything in my "grocery store of complete power over you, your goods, and money," then you are correct. I can take anything I want from you at any time, biting you repeatedly like a fire ant. Watch out, toughguy. Multiple bites can kill. You hang around my anthill without feeding me, and I'll just eat you instead.
Your percentage has just been reduced to 15% bigmouth fool. Do you take the new deal, or should I just chop the whole thing now and get it over with, then feed you to the dogs? My boys closeby you in Lagos are hungry for fresh fool meat and can get a few dollars at Jankara Market for you.

Kiss me, friend, or regret your inhospitality later on.

Your Chairman, Mr. Gomer.

----
A couple hours later, Hammed replies:

You are a small boy, I have said so and I have told Mr. Rez to make sure you are arrested. I do not deal with rats that cannot read and write like you. I am a banker and I read CHEMISTRY in the university and people like you from your email could tell anyone that you are a tout in the street.

0latunji Gomer or Egbetunji is a common and popular scam name in London, still I may say you are not in London and even the person that met Mr. Rez is not Gomer as you are just formulating stories. I do not talk to your type. If you have sence, give me 1% since you are a YORUBA dirty dog boy.
You should have collected Mr. Rez blood to satify your self. This is my last mail to you and I do not and strongly beleive that Mr. Rez will hold you arrested this time.

Arrested? hahaha. Can you imagine Mr. G. getting arrested?? Laughing

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