Corrupt a wish Genie

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Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:35 pm

Granted, eater mods are now so overly un-evil you cant walk past a baby without stopping to kiss it, every little old lady must be helped across the road regardless of which way she was heading, and you have donated ALL you hard earned money to a worthwhile charity (via WU) because you feel compelled to help the world.

I wish I wasnt an eater mod.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:41 pm

Granted. You're now called 'Steward'.

I wish that Internal Auditor that was bugging me for an hour would go away (for ever)

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:55 pm

granted, but when the feds come knocking im showing them this thread so they know you had something to do with it.

I wish i hadnt just disposed of a government employee

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:33 pm

Granted. They now work for Tax and want to have a chat about a few things you put down under expenses. Strange things. Exoctic things that require batteries and your Mrs doesnt know about!

I wish for a second wish!

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 6:42 pm

Second wish granted but the wish is that your first wish doesn't count.
I wish that all or you awesome folks were sitting around in my living room riffing on this wish game.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 7:24 pm

Congratulations, all the members of 419 eater are at your house. Some of us are playing loud music, others are in private rooms having porno music/comment time, some of are a bit too drunk and thus gives us an excuse to start dancing and randomly breaking things. What a party that was!

I wish I could party as a job

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:00 pm

Sadly it's a neck-tie party, and you're the guest victim.

I wish that Kanye West's ego would shrink down to something more fitting his real worth.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:37 pm

Whish granted, KW's ego down to the size of an average pin head, and lasting for a whole one microsecond, after which it explodes back to it's usual volume.

I wish I didn't hurt my finger with those bloody nippers when doing some electricity work in my cellar 15 minutes ago.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:40 pm

Your wish is granted and now your basement is flooded.

I Wish I could fly

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:45 pm

You are now a cruise missile, ten seconds from target.

I wish that the Roswell UFO nuts would get real and admit that it was a balloon all along.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:50 pm

Granted, the Roswell UFO nuts admit that is was a balloon but now they are have decided to mug random people into believing that UFOs exist as well as paying a 100% risky free fee.

I wish I had a outrageously gigantic mansion

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:55 pm

Your mansion has been hit by a cruise missile.

I wish that those dogs in the house I have to pass coming back from work would shut up when I tell them to.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:59 pm

Granted, their mouths are sealed shut permanently. Meaning that they can't not eat or drink and then they die. Afterwards, the owner files a lawsuit against you for "Silencing her dogs to death"

I wish I owned a bar/pub

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:40 pm

You're now the proud owner of a bar of chocolate. It's melting away due to global warming. The stains on your shirt never wash out.

I wish my garage was a few cm's higher.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:56 pm

Your garage's cms are so high that you're house sets on fire and anybody in it died as well as two neighbors living next-door.

I wish I knew how to cook exquiste meals

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:25 am

You can, but unfortunately they're only served as last meals to Texas Death Row inmates, meaning no repeat customers.

I wish they'd make a diet Coke that tastes exactly like the real version.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:52 am

Wish granted. To optimize the flavour to make it taste the same as regular coke, they add all the ingredients they took out to make it diet, and call it Diet Coke Plus, and it costs 50% more than the usual can

I wish I knew what the meat was in that burger I ate in Belgium in 1995

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:27 am

So would the Belgian police, as it might solve a few missing persons cases.

I wish that movie advertising slogans were given under oath (so that the twonks who plugged The Omen with "Predicted by Nostradamus" and 2012 with "The Mayans Predicted It... Science Has Confirmed It" have to eat their words).

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:59 am

All the ad writers are struck by lightning for lying under oath. The studios are forced to replace them with 12-year olds they find on Facebook: "omg Twilight was SOOOOO awesome"

Wish you were here.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 12:07 pm

I was, but the tour guides moved me on.

I wish that Paris Hilton would do something worthwhile with her life.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:15 pm

She did!
She just hanged herself...
But now we have to see reportages and stuff about her on any TV station.
Her songs are passed all day on radio.

I wish I was blank

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:26 pm

granted you are now a blank sheet of paper, sitting in photocopier waiting to fulfill your destiny.

i wish my lad would hurry up and get the tattoo so the safari can start.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:45 pm

Wish granted! Your lad has actually faked the tattoo and instead used crayon. Now he wants some money for a bus ticket!

I wish the people who are so obsessed with twitter and update everyone and anyone about the most crappiest thing they are doing have a bloke that goes around with them, weighing 30 stone, fully trained in martial arts to slap them around the ear. Not a kinky slap that they might get off on, but one of those that makes you dazed, ringing in one ear and thinking 'what the fuck?'

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:50 pm

granted, big ass, tweeter slapping officials now in all major cities, you twitter more than twice a week and you get slapped. this wish remains uncorrupted because we all know its the right thing.

I wish I was the guy who got to bitch slap anyone using twitter.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 4:12 pm

Granted - Yours is a case of ID theft, which means the official records say that Mike Tyson needs to be slapped by yourself. You come round halfway through the anal rape minus one ear.

I wish that girl sat near me at work would wear a shorter skirt Twisted Evil