Romance scammer need help

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 16 Mar 2010 Posts: 4

Hi all,
I have been a fan of this site for several years now, and have spent many happy nights avidly reading the accounts of the different scam baiting stories that have been posted.
My ex-sis in law recently contacted me with a burning question about a lad that started IMing her at her MySpace account quite suddenly the beginning of February this year. I am 99% sure that he is a romance scammer, although he has not "really" asked her for funds as yet...he just tells her that she is the goddess that he has been waiting for all his life, that he "loves" her (from the 2nd message to present day), and that he wants to make her his "American African Queen". He is from Nigeria, but lives in Gambia. I guess that he has dropped a few hints that he is struggling financially to her, but she just blew him off.
Him: "Well, I am off to have my supper of tea and bread"
Her: "Yummy"
I know on one level that I cannot "save" her from this guy, or "make" her stop talking to him, because at this point he has her hooked. She was a mark waiting to happen for him, because she has not dated anyone for 8 years, and she is beyond lonely, and she wants to believe that he is for real. She actually sent him a message asking him not to contact her any more at my urging, but he was "so heartbroken" that she relented and is talking with him again.
In desperation, I have set up a MySpace account myself with a fake name and a fake story on it, and I actually contacted him with a brief message that said that I thought he was cute *gag*, but if that was his g/f on his friend list (She is the ONLY one on his friend list because he deleted all the other girls that were there), that I would keep searching for a 'friend' to talk to. I was kind of flirtatious, but really brief...I don't know if he will bite or not. She had asked me to do this, but I didn't get a chance to before she started talking with him again....she may have tipped him off about what she asked me to do.
Does anyone have any tips or ideas on what else I can do? I am 99.999% sure that this is a scammer, or I wouldn't waste the time.
I am assuming that they rarely confine themselves to just one chick that they are trying to scam, or do they?
Thanks in advance for any assistance,
Cathy aka mistydove59

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Hi Mistydove and welcome here. Good for you for trying to help your sister. You're right, the things he's doing are all red flags and it certainly looks like a definite scam.

Quote:

I am assuming that they rarely confine themselves to just one chick that they are trying to scam, or do they?

No, they don't. You're correct, they scam many at once. That said, they do often keep them separate. If he's deleted the other girls from that profile it sounds like he's only using it for your sister and will use other profiles/names/addresses for his other scams. If you can give us any of his information (without compromising your sister's) we'll help you do searches for evidence.

Also, please visit our sister site, ScamWarners.com which is set up with information and support for victims and potential victims. There is a romance scams forum there with information that you should read and show to your sister.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 16 Mar 2010 Posts: 4

I forgot to mention that I do have the MySpace pages of the girls that he had as friends initially when he contacted her...I was doing a little research on them, unfortunately under my SIL's ID, and I think he noticed that I was snooping on them. As soon as I saw him online, I got out of her account (yes, she knew that I was signed in as her). The next day he had deleted all of the girls that were there, telling her that he needed to prove to her that she was his one and only....again *gag*.
Anyway, would it be worth the time to contact any of them, and ask them if he was/is hitting on any of them?
So many questions.......
Cathy aka mistydove59

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 16 Mar 2010 Posts: 4

Since she is his only "friend", it would reveal her ID if I give out his MySpace account....is that OK to do here or would I need her approval? He gave her 3 or 4 email addys so far...I can go and retrieve those, as long as he is not online...I would have to log in under her to get them from her inbox on MySpace. Other than that, info is sketchy, and I am absotively sure that everything personal that he has told her is a bunch of lies. I will try to find out as much as I can from her to...they talk on the phone.
She actually gave him her phone # and street address...how worried about that should I be. No financial info has been given out, as far as I know.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I've removed the quote of my post from your post above ^^^ no need to quote when posting, just use the reply button, it makes it easier to read.

Or, you can quote parts of the post you are addressing:

Quote:

Since she is his only "friend", it would reveal her ID if I give out his MySpace account....is that OK to do here

You shouldn't post it here publically. You can send it to me via private message if you'd like.

As for the information she has given to him: If all she has given him is information that is published publically (name, phone number, etc) she is likely safe from ID theft.

Quote:

Anyway, would it be worth the time to contact any of them, and ask them if he was/is hitting on any of them?

You can do this but it may or may not be useful. He may still be in touch with some of them through IM etc. and if so, they may tell him and/or lie for him if they are falling for his scam. So sure, but be aware that you may not get accurate information. Also, I wouldn't divulge anything about who you are or who your sister is to them, just ask if this person is in touch with them as you think he's a scammer.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:16 am

Hi Misty

I have dealt with others in this situation many times, I will PM an email address to you for my other alias (A Scamwarners Moderator who deals mostly with Romance scams), If you can forward any details to me I can see what I can fiind.

As for you contacting people, including the scammer, Please dont do anything just yet, I will try a couple of things.

If you can get your sister in law to email me the early emails I can do some searches.

The romance vic sticky in the love baiting forum here has useful links that will lead you back to Scamwarners, if you can get her to read through the information we have she will hopefully see that it is a scam.

PM coming shortly

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Murry, I have already been in PM contact with Misty and am getting her sorted out. Wink

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:30 am

Thanks Ima

If you need help you know where to find me Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 24 Mar 2009 Posts: 128

Oh Misty, I'm a psychic (sidekick) I got a feelin, a feelin I can't hide, oh yeah!!! oh yeah!!! he/his mum/dad/bro/sis/"kid" is going to get ill/sick/dizzeased (bad tea or toast) and I don't think they've got med.insurance, or could be that, one of them?or all of them get into a hurrible, ghastly aksident (on the sagbama expressway??) and once again, no auto insurance. Or he could get "rubbed" on the home !!! That is where your Sis comes in, "would she be so kind to just send them a little bit of money" then he says " well $2000.oo would be good" Thing is, that he is trying to do this to as many women as will write him back!! He tell them ALL how wonderful they are!!! I really really despise these guys!!! Just tell her NOT to send any funding, when ever he has a n "accident" she needs to trump him with an even bigger one of her own, sadly if she sends him no money eventually he will leave.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 16 Mar 2010 Posts: 4

My biggest hope is that he will quietly go away, Beth, but you and I know that that is very unlikely to happen...lol. I am so impressed with your psychic abilities! I am pretty sure that he has been trying to lay the groundwork with her, by telling her that his ex-g/f "had" to pay last month's rent for him, and then a few days later he forlornly told her that he was going to go eat his supper of "bread and tea". (She said that when he said that she said "Oooh Yummy", which makes me have a little hope that she hasn't completely lost her senses on this). She swears that she will never send him any money...EVER. She sez that since she is already having to support her 25 year old daughter, who is going through a rough time after a bad breakup with an abusive b/f, there is no way that she is going to send money to anyone for anything. I am hoping that she is not just blowing smoke to get me to lay off her about it, but I am pretty sure that she is too cheap to send any money, or if she did, it wouldn't be much. It could go either way.
I will keep this thread posted if and when he starts begging for money, and again, I thank everyone here from the bottom of my heart for helping me out with this.

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