"i am not going to sleep with you is that clear?"

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Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 10:41 pm

Just so you know - it wasn't even suggested...

The Lad whose tribulations featured in two previous threads:

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=175055

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=176319

hasn't been getting any happier. He tried to force Mal's hand in mid-January by:

Quote:

i will be going to Angola for this nations cup compitition as one of the legal advicer to super egles football club of Nigeria, so i don't think that i will have much time here in Nigeria to run this transaction with you until this is over.Because this is a special assignment from the federal government.

Mal slapped back:

Quote:

The whole point in my coming to Nigeria was to do what's needed under my own eyes. Now it seems you consider watching gorram soccer matches as more important than your duty to a client who's prepared to come thousands of miles on business! I ask you - is that a proper professional attitude?

Arguments continued. The Lad claimed that the money had been sent to US charities. Mal suggested sending it to Medecins Sans Frontieres. Then the money is back in Nigeria.
Except it isn't.

Quote:

just forget this money as it has become a USA government property as late mr j0e wats0n is from the untited states of America

Except he isn't.

Quote:

You've called J0e Wats0n an American citizen, but that's not true. He was Mexican. So the money should be in Mexico, not the US. Perhaps you can explain that discrepancy.

Quote:

now listen everything information about this money was given to the usa chatrity organization agent since no one can handle this money in mexico is that clear.because there is no relative of late j0e wats0n over there.since USA can handle it that is why the money was sent there ok?

Quote:

I'm sure that the Mexican Govenment would in interested that the assets of a Mexican citizen, bequeathed to an American citizen, were seized by the US Government with the connivance of Nigerian officials. I don't know how it'd play on Fox News but there'd be some repercussions for you. I suggest you fall into line and give me the contacts for the tax office over there, or I send this on to the Mexican consulate and you'll be in serious trouble as the little man in the deal. It's your call.

Things get crude:

Quote:

I have seen your faith,you goes no where in this.This money have been deposited by the USA charity organization agent to the BANK OF AMERICA and i hope that is the end of you bye.Since you feel that you knows better than your God you will eat your shit bye

Quote:

You ain't a lawyer's asshole, so I guess that wraps it up for you. I am going to take you down and see you disbarred. The one who's going to end up having to eat a shit sandwich is you.

Quote:

I made that comment (you will eat your shit) because you did not believe what i am telling you and altogether you where exposing this transaction to people and seek advice from people in this transaction while i said this should be a secret,secondly you where treating my life with the Mexican consulate which is not right.What i have i done to deserve all that?i trusted you but you did not trust me too why?

Quote:

You asked, "What i have i done to deserve all that?i trusted you but you did not trust me too why?" so I'll answer; because you lied to me and tried to deceive me.

(Emphasis in original)

But somehow it goes on. Mal announces that he's on his way to Nigeria. The Lad's response has a new tack (emphasis added):

Quote:

What exactly are you driving at?i am not going to attend to you if you did not pay this tax clearance first,and make sure that you send money for your hotels for the days or wekks you are staying here ok?

Quote:

I am coming over there to settle accounts personally, which includes paying the tax. Do you understand that?
And I am not sending you money for my accommodation - we ain't sharing rooms!

Quote:

you must send money for your hotels accomodation bills that is a must.i am not going to sleep with you is that clear?

Quote:

There is no way that I would ever want to sleep with you! Are you some sort of gorram pervert? That is just incredible.

Just when you think you've got him sussed, he throws you a curveball...

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:25 am

Maybe he gets confused around the dual use of the word 'solicitor' and thinks you think he's a man-prozzie lawyer?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Aug 2008 Posts: 37

Yastreb, more bad news, but none of us are going to sleep with you either. I may be desparate, but come on!

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 10:07 am

fugly, you don't even have an appealing avatar to tempt me with.

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:09 pm

I wonder if he'd sleep with me if I offered to pay him?! Bwhahaha! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:49 pm

He wants you to send him money for your hotel bill?

I've heard some odd excuses to get people to send money, but that one is so bizarre it's annoying!
Must be how things work in Ladville... Confused

lol

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Aug 2008 Posts: 37

Quote:

I wonder if he'd sleep with me if I offered to pay him?! Bwhahaha

If he did what do you want to bet he wants the money in advance by Western Union.

And Yastreb you have obviously never had hot monkey sex!

Posted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:34 pm

fugly: no.

The full message from the Lad was:

Quote:

I am not confortable with you and your idear.you must pay this money to the inland revenue account provided Halifax Bank account london to be sure of you and for your information this must be the last time you will talk about this transaction again since you are not ready.secondly you must send money for your hotels accomodation bills that is a must.i am not going to sleep with you is that clear?
I don't trust you if you are planing to set me up from the look of things and you must send your picture or photo passport to be sure of you too so that ni can know you more better .if you did not agree on this things then kindly forget this money and i will look for someone who is ready to make this claim and we share the money equal.

Mal's full reply was:

Quote:

There is no way that I would ever want to sleep with you! Are you some sort of gorram pervert? That is just incredible.
I don't know how I could "set you up" and I don't know how you can find another person to claim the money since it's mine. If you try any such gorram trick I'm going to do my best to get you disbarred and arrested for fraud.

OK - that got a reply (emphasis added):

Quote:

For the last time i have told you for all i care,if you don't do exactly as i said then you have your self to blame on this issue.even if like write email from now until the next generation,i will never change my words.
you have this options to follow,
(1)send money for your hotel accomodationsand feeding.
(2)scan your picture or your id passport photogragh to verify you very clear.if you are honest
(3)pay up this tax clearance bills to the Halifax Bank account london and let me know.
and for your informations if you did not obey this instruction then forget this money as well.that is the only way i can help have a nice day as you can see you are the only person remaining to claim his money in my office as of now and if you don't take time i might change my programas you can see that i am always busy.

Now there's a challenge...

Mal shot back:

Quote:

You are one total control freak, and you'd make even my old-time gunny Dick Marcinko speechless at that. You constantly seem to forget that I'm the client and that you should do as I direct. I wonder at times if I'm dealing with a spoiled brat teenager rather than a mature adult.
[1] Why would I send you money for my hotel bills when I should be paying the hotel? And as for "my feeding" - I'm not staying at a gorram zoo!
[2] You know very well I can't do passport scans, and you know why. My honesty ain't the issue either; I'm the one who was left a fortune - it's not like I'm the Tichborne claimant. I've attached a picture, though I don't know what that's going to prove.
[3] The tax bill payment is why I'm coming to Nigeria. You always forget that. Stop fixating on doing things your way because that's history.
"and for your informations if you did not obey this instruction then forget this money as well" - I can't, as it's mine.
"that is the only way i can help have a nice day" - if you did your gorram job properly you'd be more help.
"as you can see you are the only person remaining to claim his money in my office as of now" - I don't see that and I don't know how I could see that. How many dead Mexicans have you got?
"and if you don't take time i might change my programas you can see that i am always busy" - You've got a colleague to share the workload and you said that you had no-one else to pay out!
I'll see you in Lagos when I get there. You can either be a good little lawyer and do your duty, or I'll just rock up there and we can argue then.

I so want to get him to agree to meet me at the airport - and then turn up at Abuja... but he's a stubborn cuss.

Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 12:00 pm

Stubborn and stupid (emphasis added)...

Quote:

Ok now your picture may proof your honesty and i have also called on the inland revenue on your coming over.But you still have problem here because the militants are kidnapping foreigners and killing them so since this problem have been going on the federal high court of Nigeria put it as a stop on investors here that every of your movement will be monitored by the security here and you have to pay up the non-residential fee to obtain a non-residential permit before the inland revenue could approve your tax payments.
The non residential fees is $96,650,00 so i don't know if you can make it since you can not pay the tax to inland revenue online bank account.get back to me if you can make this.i am trying to protect you here because this is Nigeria and not your country.i will look for a well secured hotel for you that is why i said you should send money so that you will not have problem in you visit until you go back.i am trying to help you out since the USA charity organization have already collect there own money that what i mean that you are the only person remain to claim his money in my office ok?
Please i need a positive reply.

So visitors to Nigeria are menaced by militants and gouged by government. Paradise on Earth it ain't.

Mal was brusque:

Quote:

So I have to pay nearly $100,000 just to come to Nigeria - no, I don't believe it. You're talking out of your gorram ass. There was no mention of that when I applied for my visa.

So was he, after a fashion (emphasis added):

Quote:

I have told you the situation here,there is no way i can cheat on you ok?may be you will see all this when you visit nigeria,But i advice if you can not come up to that amount then kindly send the money to the inland revenue online account Halifax Bank london ok?but if you still want to come fine make sure that the money is complete so that you will not mess your self up here that is the law now thanks.

Mal's reply won't help, I think:

Quote:

You've lied to me once already and I think you're lying to me again. Unless you can provide me with cast-iron copper-bottomed evidence that the Nigerian government plans to charge me nearly $100,000 for the dubious privilege of visiting Nigeria, then I'll be certain of your lies and can only conclude that you have a reason for trying this boondoggle.
My theory is that the unresolved sexual tension is getting to you. First you say that you don't want to sleep with me, and then you say that you don't want to cheat on me. I'd suggest that you make up your gorram mind, except that I'm not the least bit interested in that sort of thing.

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:34 pm

I don't think that evidence is coming Mal's way soon:

Quote:

What makes you think negetively why?i have told you for the sake of peace but you always think of cheating why?do you want to mess your self up here?ok i will give you the security Guild certificate since i got it from them for you be sure of this now.
A soon as you come over and pay up this non-residential fees then you will be issued a non-residential cerificate to make it clear that your visit is legit before the coulds welcome your tax payment and give a good security for your protection agenst the militants.here is the security gulid certficate.
please put sexual immorality apart please i am not a homosexual please take note of that.

I don't know what that's supposed to prove!

Mal replied derisively:

Quote:

Why the Sam Frick did you send me that certificate? Its relevance to that cockamamie non-residential fee is ZERO. Your credibility index is dropping like a rock, trust me!
Like I said, I want documentary evidence that the fee (a) exists (b) is that ludicrously large.
And when we meet - I'm keeping my ass to the wall. Trust me on that. Your denials have a hollow ring.

Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:33 am

It goes on!

Quote:

I am tired of all this since you can not trust me then i think we don't have business at all.no document will be given to you only when you pay up this fees the the non-residential permit certificate will be issued to you is that clear.please don't waist my time here ok?

He sounds testy. Mal throws down the gauntlet:

Quote:

Unless you prove to me that the fee actually exists, then I can only conclude that you're lying about it. Like I said before, it ain't the first time.
See you in Lagos.

Oops. The Lad's in Lagos but the lawyer ain't. However... (emphasis added):

Quote:

Look don't say had i know because i have told you all i know about this now,Then if you are comming without this fees consider your self a fool because it will not work out here.and for your information i am not in lagos ok?so you have to plan very well with me so that you will not fall a victim with this militants.
Now i will go to the federal high court to provide a court order froim them so that you will believe this since you have a block head and you can not uinderstand things very well.if you are comming make sure that this money is in cash ok?And if you come over here without my knowlegde any thing that happened to you is at your own risk don't blame me.

Quote:

I guess I assumed you were in Lagos - only place in Nigeria I ever heard of. Doom on me! But Owerri ain't much of a place - smaller than Charleston. OK, it's bigger than Alice Springs, Owerri's a long way from the big smoke, isn't it?
You get that gorram court order. It should make for interesting reading.

That spurs the Lad on (emphasis added):

Quote:

Now look i am not here to play around ok?make sure that this money is complete before you come over to Nigeria or i will not attend to you as a client and also to protect your self from the victim of the militants,This money will be paid in cash or do you need an account to pay in if you can not come with it in cash?this another option.
The court order will be given to you on 16th of march 2009 is that clear? and i will like to know every of your movement and preperations so that we could get to each other very well and get this done with.please don't take this as a joke or i will take you as a game player and not a client as well.

Mind you, he's a year late and $100,000 short, but hey...

Quote:

Like I said, I await that court order with interest. So far the travel agent says that he can't find any such travel requirement, and checking the travel advisories for both the Australian government and the US State Department doesn't turn up any reference to that fee.
And since you talk about games - I want to knew what the Sam Frick you're playing at once the dust settles.

Then Slaphappy makes the call as requested...

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=180986

Quote:

Some one called on your behalf and if you can not follow his simple instruction then don't think of comming to Nigeria ok?i don't know what is wrong with you.i don't know who called from USA so it means you exposed this tracsaction already.Then gret the money ready if you are ready for this as the court order will soon be out.

Quote:

I don't know what you're on about with - "it means you exposed this tracsaction already". Nothing illegal is involved here.
I don't know what simple intructions you mean either. Perhaps you might tell me what Dick Marcinko said. He sent me an email to the effect that he'd spoken to you, and that was it.

More to come... ?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:25 pm

I think if you fly into Maidiguri airport in northeastern Nigeria, open a bank acct at the only "secure bank you could find in Nigeria," then stay close to your money at the 55C Y@nkari Park about 70 miles away, he just might move to meet you. At the very least, you will show him that you are a serious businessman. If he doesn't travel he will blow a $100, 000 deal. You have transferred the entire amount he requires. If his deal is legit, it's all his. Give him a date that you are flying, and stick to it.
Here's a good bank name, in case he asks: http://www.accessbankplc.com/
Branch office in Maidiguri, and other places in Nigeria, too. If he needs another call to hit the road, let me know. If he needs another baiter to play Captain Mal, I'm sure I can find one for you. Smile

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