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 All newspaper articles should be written like this...

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solomongrundy
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Joined: 07 Sep 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

From the Nigerian 'Daily Sun', a tale of a supernatural python...

http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/news/national/2010/feb/03/national-03-02-2010-10.htm

Quote:
On sighting us, the python stood on it’s tail, opened wide her mouth and was ready to fight us, but we made tactical withdrawal to strategize”.

Curiously the mysterious snake viciously charged forward and went after the night guards chasing them around the market. But after a period of run around and perhaps unending somersaulting, the security men summoned courage and took the battle frontally to the python. And with the help of kerosene and fuel, they were able to subdue and kill the satanic snake around 12 midnight.


What heroes!

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Sounds like an entry from the Single Sentence Random Story.

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 2:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
The mystery surrounding the python started, to unfold after it was finally killed. The night guards unable to fathom what to do with the evil creature immediately, decided to cover it with a big washing-basin till the following morning. Then came the ominous. According to Uchendu, “in the morning, we took the python outside the market and poured fuel on it to set it on fire, but to our surprise, it could not be burnt. It was then we knew there was something bad”. Shocked
As surprising as this could be, a more debilitating and disturbing revelation emerged when the evil snake was dissected and a handset was been found in it’s hitherto swollen belly.
Smile

Maybe it was the possessed Dr. [email protected] Dw0ps, who carried the spirit of Ogun and sent out by Damballah (who appears in the form of a snake!) to destroy evil and Pendejo Joe. He had a cellphone in his stomach. Obviously a lad's. What was the number of that phone? Smile

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Roycropper
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Joined: 14 Nov 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love the Daily Sun, and agree that all newpapers should be written like that.

My favourite headline in the current issue:

Luxury bus robbers in hot soup

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Nanny Ogg
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Joined: 19 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 8:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love the factual reporting!
Quote:
The sun which as usual set the evening before



Now if we could just get a supernatural python into internet cafes maybe all the scams would stop




yeh right!






edit for
spelling spelling
aargh supernatural not supernational!
It's the python's hypnotic powers
trussssht in me, jussssht in me...

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