I ain't your daddy!

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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 11:57 am

The Lad who calls you "daddy" always makes me squirm... as in what Mal got this week.

It started with this:

Quote:

... I WANT YOU TO KINDLY SEND ME 12 FIRST NAMES THAT I WILL USE IN SENDING YOU MY MONEY $5,000 DOLLARS AND GIVE YOU THE MTCN NUMBER TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER TO BE PICKING UP THE MONEY IN YOUR COUNTRY AS AM TALKING TO YOU THE TRUNK BOX WORTH $2MILLION DOLLARS IS WITH THE HOTEL MANAGER...

So far, just confusing. But after a request to explain came this (emphasis added):

Quote:

DEAR DADDY
AM T0M T3MB4 FROM LIBERIA , BUT PRESENTLY NOW IN GHANA BUT NEED YOUR ASSIST TO HELP ME RECEIVE MY FUND OVER THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY THE MONEY IS FROM MY LATE FATHER BUT RIGHT IS UNDER MY CARE SO I WANT YOU TO STAND TO BE RECEIVING THIS FUND BITE BY BITE FOR ME THROUGH WESTERN UNION SO YOU SEND ME FIRST 12 NAMES IMMEDIATELY AND THEN CONTACT THE HOTEL MANAGER MR 4NTH0NY D4L13 ON EMAIL [ - snip - ] AND SETTLE WITH HIM OVER THE STORAGE AND THE FEEDING FEE WERE MY TRUNK BOX IS UNDER HIS CARE BUT THE KEY IS WITH ME DADDY AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE NAMES AND SETTLE WITH THE HOTEL MANAGER AND HE RELEASE MY TRUNK BOX I WILL START USING THE NAMES I ASK YOU TO SEND YOU MY MONEY $5,000 DOLLARS THROUGH EACH NAMES UNTIL YOU RECEIVE ALL THE FUND BEFORE YOU WILL SEND INVITATION LETTER TO ME TO COME AND JOIN YOU INVEST MY FUND DADDY
SO YOU SEND ME UR TELEPHONE NUMBER IMMEDIATELY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE I SEND YOU THE MONEY I WILL GIVE YOU THE MTCN NUMBER TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER TO BE PICKING UP THE MONEY IN YOUR COUNTRY DADDY WITHOUT ANY DELAY AND AGAIN I CAN BE SENDING YOU THREE TIMES EVERY DAY UNTIL YOU RECEIVE ALL THE FUND FOR ME N YOUR COUNTRY WHICH I WILL NOT FAIL YOU OR DISAPPOINT YOU MY MONEY IS VERY CLEAN AND SPENDABLE DADDY

After this prompt reply:

Quote:

Hold on there a gorram minute! I ain't your daddy for one thing, and for another, I still don't know squat about you and how this money was made. Just give me details, OK?

The Lad still didn't learn - much:

Quote:

DEAR SIR
THE FUND IS FOR MY LATE FATHER , BUT NOW AM THE NEXT OF KIN , IF YOU WILL HELP ME SEND ME UR TELEPHONE NUMBER SEND THE NAMES AND CONTACT THE HOTEL MANAGER MR ANTHONY DALIE ON EMAIL [email protected] SETTLE WITH HIM YOU WANT TO ASSIST ME CLAIM MY TRUNK BOX , WITH THOSE NAMES I WILL USE IN SENDING YOU MY MONEY $5,000 DOLLARS IMMEDIATELY AND GIVE YOU THE MTCN NUMBER TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER TO BE PICKING UP THE MONEY OVER THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY DADDY
UNTIL YOU RECEIVE THE FUND IN YOUR COUNTRY BEFORE YOU WILL SEND FOR ME TO COME AND JOIN YOU INVEST I WILL BE SENDING YOU THE MONEY ON EACH NAMES BITE BY BITE $5,000 DOLLARS DADDY

Mal tried, but I have my doubts:

Quote:

I'll try again. I AIN'T YOUR DADDY! Got that?
I need to know exactly how your father made that money and also why I need to send you twelve names. I just don't understand what you're proposing.

**

The scary thing? Cammy is some Lad's Daddy! No joke! She wrote back to a Gold and Diamond orphan and got this:

Quote:

DEAR DADDY
I RECEIVE YOUR MAIL , AND I REALLY WANT YOU TO ASSIST ME AND MY MOTHER RECEIVE MY FUND OVER THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR BETTER INVESTMENT SO THAY I WILL COME AND COMPLETE MY SCHOOL OVER THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY AS SOON AS YOU ASSIST US RECEIVE THE FUND SEND INVITATION LETTER TO ME AND MY MOTHER TO JOIN YOU UP
ALL YOU NEED TO DO CONTACT OUR FAMILY LAWYER BARRISTER Y3B40H FOR MORE BETTER INFORMATION AND REACH ME WITH YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER DADDY
AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THE FUND WE WILL GIVE YOU 30% SO TRY AND HELP US DADDY
IF POSSIBLE YOU LOOK FOR TRUST AND HONEST PERSON WHO CAN ASSIST US RECEIVE THE FUND AFTER WE WIL GIVE YOU 15% OF THE TOTAL SUM DADDY

But wait - the Lad lawyer:

Quote:

Dear Mr Camille White,

Cammy snapped back at the Lad:

Quote:

I am not your daddy! I am a WOMAN and I'm just 24 years old! By Hel's frozen teeth - not even my own father would have been so cruel he'd call a boy "Camille"!

Lads...

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:16 pm

I don't like being called "Daddy" much either and I actually am one! If you really want to get queasy on an overdose of "Daddy" check out my "Pathetic Whiner" post in the Audio forum. It is a voicemail of a ladette I am working daddying all over the floor. Disgusting but funny at the same time.

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 9:30 pm

Yep Lads indeed and this one is a bad mannered sod !

What's with all the shouting ? a slap for that .... Laughing

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:00 pm

NO!! Let him SHOUT!

Don't tell him any different. Smile

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:10 pm

For the benefit of new members - ALL CAPS can be a sign of a dual language keyboard, sometimes CAPS LOCK toggles from Arabic/whatever to SHOUTY ENGLISH!

And the whole "daddy" thing is lads who are too lazy to find/replace your name into their scripts, or who are too lazy to remember your name. So you must insist on it, it makes them work harder, and makes mistakes more likely, which may tip off a victim.

CALL is the Campaign Against Lazy Lads, if they ever ask you to call them, they just want you to abuse them for being too lazy, but are too bashful to ask properly Wink