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 A little help dealing with my little crude dude.

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mr.scissorkick
Elite Baiter


Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Posts: 1973
Location: 50.299209,-3.650293


PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I picked up an oil lad in my spare time, having never been with one before. It has been a real treat. I can't remember the details of his offer, other than he wants to sell crude oil primarily through unsolicited emails. I decided to reward his ingenuity and salesmanship.

Like my first and personal favorite bait he seems in no hurry to ask me for money. These lads are like an albino gorilla. They are so freakish yet ordinary.

I agreed, after my usual strange and utterly lad confusing price negotiations, to buy a bunch of barrels of his crude yet useful product. I expected to get customary lad instructions for payment. Instead, I get this pleasant little surprise in my inbox:

Quote:
Do you have a vessel?
we can start export of the crude at once, first we get liescence for the export from government, we need and attorney .

That was all it said. Not even a "remain bless" or anything to wrap it up succinctly.

This is where you, my fellow baitericans, come in. When I read this, too many ridiculous ideas flitted through my brain, and I was left exhausted of a reply that I felt confident in.
I am open to your suggestions.

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Vampiremerchant
Terrible Joker


Joined: 01 Nov 2009
Posts: 3179
Location: Scotland


PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

well for a vessel the good ship Vital Spark will do the trick mind you getting to the loading port is going to take a long time !

Then you have to find the right kind of pirates to man the vessel as such you are advertising locally (that will take more time)
Captain Pugwash is not available for a couple of months due to his TV commitments !

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Bolleboos
Elite Baiter


Joined: 07 Sep 2009
Posts: 1000
Location: Paises Bajos


PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I bet you do in fact have a vessel. As a matter of fact, it is equipped with a GPS tracker.

Edit: +1 for pirates.

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hoorah
Master Baiter


Joined: 14 Feb 2009
Posts: 210


PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

No, you don't have a vessel. He needs to find one, take pictures, find out how much it can carry, etc.

He's probably just smart enough to add a little extra to his scam. I'm sure at some point he'll drop the western union requirement and all of the side issues will be "fine, trust me, remain bless"

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Nero419
Master Baiter


Joined: 11 Jan 2010
Posts: 236
Location: Planet Earth


PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

http://www.marinetraffic.com
http://www.vesseltracker.com
Search for a ship, change it and make it a ghost ship?

I'm working in the maritime sector, so maybe if you need some specific details I could help.

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mr.scissorkick
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Joined: 03 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Nero: I love the potential lad confusion.

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internationalchrysis
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Joined: 19 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 11:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I was checking the vessel tracker when it suddnely displayed the "Muuga" There's your ship right there:

http://www.vesseltracker.com/en/Ships/Muuga-9103738.html

Just a thought

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sam vimes
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Joined: 18 Sep 2009
Posts: 52
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

dont forget to see if seaman stains,master bates & rogering the cabin boy are free to crew your ship. Wink
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manbiteslion
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Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard


PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Titan Uranus

http://www.icis.com/blogs/icis-chemicals-confidential/files/2008/11/shipping-news-titan-uranus.html

You just have to. And I don't mean pronouncing it the American way "yurrannus" either.

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Nero419
Master Baiter


Joined: 11 Jan 2010
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I love the potential lad confusion


Well I like to see where he comes up with when you "actually" arrange a vessel.

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ThankingArthur
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Joined: 04 Oct 2009
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Better yet, "borrow" a vessel Laughing

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hoorah
Master Baiter


Joined: 14 Feb 2009
Posts: 210


PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A bit of background info - the port in Lagos is actually pretty well known for pirates and hijackings. Getting your lad to do a little wandering around the port may end up getting his arrested Smile

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Connie L. Gus
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What about the SS Minnow?

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mr.scissorkick
Elite Baiter


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 5:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Thanks all.
I just reread his email. Thinking of all the ways to use his request for a vessel I barely noticed his last statement:

Quote:
we need and attorney .


I guess he is just taking the logical route.

It is, after all, safe to assume that Americans usually have ships to carry massive amounts of crude oil across the Atlantic, but never seem to have a lawyer handy.

I think I'll try to use YeaWhatever's tracking system to possibly lure the lad onto the high seas. It's worth a try anyway.

_________________
-MY DEAR SIR STOP THIS BULL SHIRT WHO IS MR.GOMER? ~Pual Williams
-This is why your wife divorced you! ~Melveille Turner (Hawaiian Punch)
Goat Goat
United Kingdom Thailand Malaysia
Closed lad accounts x 67
Mortar x 34 (Hi, kids!) Easter Egg 2012
Pith Helmet Accra-Lagos = "you made me and my people to wiat at the air port for nothing sake.and pay for hotel resavetion its not sound." -John Asamoha
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Nero419
Master Baiter


Joined: 11 Jan 2010
Posts: 236
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Maybe someone can reply to him as shipping agent? And no, I never heard that you need a attorney to arrange a ship Shocked

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Safari => Oliver WIMPED Lagos, Nigeria => Cotonou, Benin (212km, 132mi round trip)
Safari => John WIMPED Lagos, Nigeria => Cotonou, Benin (212km, 132mi round trip)

"Search and Rescue Thread" <<<=== With Success!
Cellphone x 7 Closed lad accounts x4 Easter Egg
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Fowan Nyne
Baiting Guru


Joined: 12 Aug 2009
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, he's going down the barrister route...
One word springs to mind with the ship; Somalia!
Could have some fun there. Very Happy

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