Need help for my mom

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:20 pm

yeah luckey, that is one thing that I was trying to explain to my mom yesterday, even though she did this with good intentions not meaning to harm anyone, we also pay. We have to bail her out not just with money but with time and stress as well. Something she didn't think about, but hopefully will think about from now on.

I do believe this is a form of addiction. Like someone said was similar to gambeling in vegas. I think she feels like that she is in this deep so far that she must keep going. I don't understand it, but I do believe that's the deal. addiction.

Good point, Raga man. I didn't think of the credit card collections. I'm sure they will be calling soon, if they haven't started calling her already.

I started reading through her emails, and it is unreal. There are so many. I can't even tell which ones belong together. It looks like she has been sending money to more than one scammer. Or at least they claim to be different people/companies.

It looks like the most recent one is an inheritence scam. And it looks like she has sent money several times. A couple for $100, one for $700. I'm sure there are more, but there are so many emails to read through, that's all I've seen so far. And yes, they have been calling her too.

I have one big nasty mess ahead of me...

Sally

Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:56 pm

^^ Those scammers know it when their victim is in too deep and they double their effort to get even more money out of their victim. If a scammer has such a gullible victim he will drop everything and focus on that victim. He creates more characters who will write to that victim or he gets one of his associates to join in and split the money. They allso know it when someone is interfering and they double their effort to keep their victim hooked.
I whish you strenght with going through those emails. It can be rough. If you need help or just someone to talk to then please go to http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/ There are support members there who can help you. It's not only your mother who is a victim, you are a victim aswell in a way.

Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:47 pm

Hi Sally

I have read your story and feel so sorry for your mother, she is blessed though in having such a loving caring daughter in you. One day she will appreciate what you are doing for her and will thank you.

God bless to both of you.

Simon

Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 3:12 am

I can't thank you enough. Really.
I'm so thankful to have found this place! I honestly don't know that I could have gotten this far without y'all.
Which is kind of crazy because I just "met" y'all.
There are still kind people in the world. I'm shocked! Shocked

I hope I can eventually help someone as much as I've been helped here.

See ya,
Sally

Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 9:20 am

They say laughter is the best medicine. If nothing else you can always come here for good laugh at the expense of the same kind of people who have caused you so much trouble.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Jan 2010 Posts: 329

scrappinsally wrote:

I didn't think of the credit card collections. I'm sure they will be calling soon, if they haven't started calling her already.

I had a friend who got in trouble with a debt collector once. If you're in the US, you might want to have a glance here to learn your rights when dealing with such people:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_Debt_Collection_Practices_Act

If they do start to be a problem, getting professional advice might also be an idea.

Like everyone else, I'm sorry this has happened to you. Reminds me why I bait these bastards...

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:09 pm

Hi Sally,

I don't have any advice or suggestions that haven't already been said, but I'd just like to add my sympathies for what you're going through. Your mother is extremely lucky to have you fighting on her side.

Best of luck - and I look forward to joining in baiting these assholes.

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:09 pm

Sally --

I am around the same age as your mother, and I live alone, and I feel extremely fierce about protecting my independence, even if my children do not always approve of my decisions, financial and otherwise.
Therefore I realize -- I think better than most -- what courage it must have taken for you to confront this problem and to do as much damage control as you have done so far.
Bravo, bravo, bravo!

I'd like to offer a suggestion about enlisting another ally:
One of my very best friends is the president of a debt collection agency.
He is knowledgeable about USA laws, and has a number of international contacts through his professional associations.
Despite all of his expertise, his firm was almost victimized twice this year by internet scammers.
Therefore, Sally, if you start to deal with debt collection matters and would like some sort of "second opinion," please send me a Private Message.
I can't promise to make things right, but I can promise to put you in touch with a decent, honest businessman who (for better or for worse) specializes in that industry.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

I'm really sorry to hear what you and your mom are going through scappinsally. She is really lucky to have someone like you.

It is important at this point to convince her that everyone she is talking to is a scammer. Many victims get half-way to believing they are being scammed, but assume it is corrupt bank officials, and that if they find the right people to talk to they can get the money that is waiting for them. She needs to understand, and believe, that the money is a fiction, and that everyone who says it exists is lying to her, even the really nice man who is only trying to do his Christian duty... or whatever. But there is no money waiting, and anyone who says there is, is just trying to steal from her. Also scammers do not refer victims to real people, and real people do not refer people to scammers. That is how it works. Everyone is a scammer.

This comes from an email warning to fraud victims.

Quote:

It is important that you understand that this money does not exist. Anyone who says it does exist is trying to steal money off you. These criminals change their story when they think that you do not believe them. They open new email accounts and pretend to be different institutions, until you cannot believe that all these people are criminals. In fact they are all the same few people with lots of email accounts. They may pretend to be several different banks, lawyers, the United Nations, the FBI, or anything else they think will convince you to send them money.

You will be asked for payments for documents, professional services, taxes and bribes. The criminals will say that each payment is the last, but the charges will never stop until you have no more money to send. Then they may offer you a loan, and send you a bad check.

All the names this gang have been using to communicate with you, are completely false. There are no such people. Any documents you might have been sent are also false. Everything you have been told is lies from start to finish. Any lotteries, banks, lawyers, government departments, funds, treasures, legacies, charities, churches or transactions you have been told about are false. The only thing that is real is someone sitting in an Internet cafe thinking of ways to steal money from you.

I wish I could find a link to a TV programme that was posted a few months back. I showed a woman in a very similar plight to your mother. Her marriage was on the rocks because she could not stop sending money to Africa. A bearded hacker visited her and explained the scam until she was convinced. Anyone still have the link?

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 12:53 am

^^^I referred to a link in a previous post but it's worthwhile to give the actual URL. See

http://www.stophcommerce.com/

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

Hi Scrapinsally
you mentioned credit card earlier. It may pay to make sure the scammers do not have the cc info. It is another possible way they may get more from your mum.

thanks
master

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 689

Just want to add (hope I didn't miss it) that now you have access to the emails of these scumbags do not even think about contacting them for any reason.

I'm just glad my dear old mum doesn't have access to a computer!

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Thanks lakeside77, that's the one.

scrappinsally, I strongly suggest both you and your mom watch that documentary. I think you'll both find it supportive.
[Episode 1 is more about hacking, but it's good to watch for background anyway.]

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:15 am

I believe it has already been mentioned, but you need to cut off all communication lines that these people can use to get in contact with your mum.

These scum will keep coming back and trying to squeeze more out of her otherwise.

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 12:16 pm

Thanks everybody for everything.

About the credit cards, they have all been closed because they have been ran to the max and are behind on payments. I started calling them and explaining the situation and started working out payment arrangements. So far none of them can take off any of the money since she is the one that ran up the bill, but they are removing late charges and stopping more penalties. So far I haven't ran into any that have been sent to a collection agency yet. I did tell all of them not to re open her account for any reason. And all agreed. She has given all of her bills permission to take care of her accounts.

And I did cut off all communication between her and the scammers. I had her phone number changed, I have her computer at my house, and when she gave me the passwords to her email accounts, I changed them right away so that she can't get into them.
I know if she really wants to get into contact with them she'll find a way, but I at least made it a challenge.

So far she has agreed to let me take over all of her accounts and she agreed about having her number changed and giving me her computer. She seems kind of relieved to have some help. Hopefully that won't change.

Now if new stuff would quit popping up, I'd be ok. Everytime I turn around, I'm finding out something new. Different scammers, new credit card bills that she didn't tell me about, different loans that she took out. The list goes on and on. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get her out of this hole. At least not anytime soon.

I'm going to watch the documentary now.

Thanks for your help!!!
Sally