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 Darwin award nominee #255

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irishemigrant
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10616354

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Tastysnack
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Thomas Robert Edwards, 20, who was working at Chester Zoo at the time of the incident, denied the charge of trying to sexually penetrate a living animal.


Because...had the dog been dead it would have been ok?

And aren't the Darwin Awards for those that are dead?

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irishemigrant
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ I think people who do absolutely stupid things get nominated too, please correct if I'm wrong.

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Ima Baeder
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Edwards, of Hope, in North Wales admitted seven charges of possessing extreme pornography, though claimed the films had been downloaded onto his computer by accident.


Yeah, right. Laughing

Quote:
. . . was hoping to go to college and to work with animals.


I hope not!

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ParaNoid
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I am gobsmacked at this sentence:
Quote:
Edwards claimed he had merely been stroking the dog in the back-garden

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N N N
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 7:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I think a BJ with said rotweiller might have got him the much coveted award ... Laughing
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windypops
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

ParaNoid wrote:
I am gobsmacked at this sentence:
Quote:
Edwards claimed he had merely been stroking the dog in the back-garden


Had he been stroking the beast in the front-garden, the mental image is still just as awful. Sorry, the double entendres just abound. Mad

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Nanny Ogg
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

To quote the Darwin Awards website
Quote:
The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of
the human genome by honoring those who
accidentally remove themselves from it...

I think if the dog had turned and bitten him in the scrotum he'd would have qualified no problem

http://www.darwinawards.com/ for more amazingly stupid stories.


Its amazing how so many people claim porn of any degree gets onto their computer by accident.
I suppose they may be clicking over and over again by accident

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Nosmo King
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 2:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeppers @ Nanny Ogg
Tastysnack wrote:

And aren't the Darwin Awards for those that are dead?


Nope, it's for those whom Father Chuck plucks from the gene pool. Continuing to breath is allowed, continuing to reproduce is not.
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Cheesecake King
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 2:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm sorry but this raises the question; "Could you have picked a dog more likely to bite off your bollocks?"

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sunshine
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Rotties, properly brought up, can be very well adjusted and friendly dogs... but I doubt that they would be quite *that* friendly Smile

In a rather unusual twist thanks to the bizarre legal system we have in the UK he can get a longer sentence for possession of horseporn (3 years) than he could for actually diddling the dog (2 years). Go figure Rolling Eyes

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lakeside77
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I understand that the Darwin Awards are given to those who make extraordinary efforts to cull the herd, whether they survive or not. I think it would be safer to try to give a wildcat a hand job than to try to shtup a Rottweiler.

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Cheesecake King
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 1:25 am Reply with quoteBack to top

sunshine wrote:
Rotties, properly brought up, can be very well adjusted and friendly dogs... but I doubt that they would be quite *that* friendly Smile

In a rather unusual twist thanks to the bizarre legal system we have in the UK he can get a longer sentence for possession of horseporn (3 years) than he could for actually diddling the dog (2 years). Go figure Rolling Eyes


Can I ask how you came by that knowledge? Very Happy

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sunshine
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ could not possibly say.

Sunshine
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Laughing

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thud419
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 12:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The Darwin Awards also offer an Honourable Mention for those who make a good effort to remove themselves from the gene pool but fail.

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 2:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

There seem to be a few lists circulating that mix up Darwin nominations (some of which aren't proper Darwins anyway) with embarrassment anecdotes and dumb crook tales. One turned up so often I kept a rebuttal notice on file just for that one.

And on OT:

"You know, I once entered my dog at Cruft's."
"Did you get anything?"
"Six months, pending a psychiatric report."

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