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 My first completed bait

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JadeFalcon
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 11 Jul 2009
Posts: 806
Location: United States of Eurasia


PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hello everyone!

Out of the first batch of baits I started, this one actually got somewhere and I was dropped after a couple of months of fun. I'm still getting emails from this address/character, but it's from a completely different lad, so I'm considering it a different bait. I have compiled my email log as an html page and I'll link to it here. The names have been changed to protect the...innocent? Razz Let me know what you guys think and if you want to provide any tips, that'll be great too! Enjoy!

http://members.419eater.com/~jadefalcon/baits/petescott/RevPeterScott.html

PS - I tried to keep characters straight using color-coding. My character is blue, lad's characters get colors assigned to them as they appear

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Just Jane
PLAYING WITH FRYER


Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 2380
Location: On my pirate ship


PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

clapping Very good! I like how you kept your mails short and to the point. I've always thought that there's no need to create a big back story when most times the lad isn't going to read it anyway.

It really stinks that it looks like he dropped you over a phone call. Hopefully the current lad won't care about that! Can't wait to read more..

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Ima Baeder
419Eater Admin


Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 18314


PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi Jade Falcon, How are you today together with your family over there? l believe that all is well. Laughing

Nice job!! It does look like he dropped you over a phone call. It's hard to say how you could have done it differently, maybe thrown him a bit of a bone in another direction. He still may have dropped you, though.

I like that he claimed to have suspended the guy because of his mess up. Laughing

This lad reminds me a lot of my favorite lad in the way he writes. He did pretty well off script.

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NickTheCop
argent to lucifer


Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 2002
Location: The City Where Dreams Go To Die


PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'll be honest and admit that I didn't read through the whole thing. But let me just say that any bait that ends in "everything is your fault" is a definite success. Very Happy

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Branwen
Baiting Guru


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 4771
Location: Down on the (Playmobil) farm


PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I enjoyed reading this!

I don't think your Lad was very bright. He forgot to fill in the gaps (Hi Respond, Dear....) on his script when he should have done, and then, once he couldn't use his script anymore, he seemed to just flounder.

A brighter Lad would have certainly kept going with you longer: your character seemed willing and compliant (without being totally stupid - so came across as 'a real person' to me, at least), and there was no reason to drop you at that point.

I imagine that either he didn't have enough money to make further phone calls. Or maybe he just couldn't think what to write anymore.

Or possibly he had decided in his own head that he wasn't going to any more effort unless you telephoned him. Though, with your good excuse, he shouldn't have given up at that. I've never made a telephone call to a Lad yet, but they manage to get over it....

I like the way you played out your character: not least because it is the way I tend to: smilingly willing for the most part - and yet no submissive 'yes-person', but voicing their sudden questions and doubts. I find that works out very well!

It was a risk to say you would turn up at the airport and meet with the diplomat. When I tried the 'Righto! I'll be there!' approach in my early baiting days, I got dropped so often that I totally abandoned it. But it worked out well for you, and even got you Diplomat Number Two at your character's service.

Well done for not pushing for the non-arriving picture. I think that if something is tried for, but it does not materialise, it is indeed the safest thing to just let it go. 'Worth a try; didn't happen; so let's move on.'

I think, overall, you should be encouraged. That wasn't the Lad for a long-term bait, but you've got a good character, a good attitude for him, and a good baiting attitude for yourself there.

You might have been able to pick that Lad up again after a few days' silence, had you wanted to. Though I dare say he would have given up again pretty soon. Hopefully now you're finding yourself some with more potential. And in the meantime, I see from your signature icons that you are doing very well in other areas too!

Brilliant!

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Jammy
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 24 Oct 2009
Posts: 517
Location: Absolutely, last time I checked.


PostPosted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 12:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for an amusing read. I think you got as much out of him as you could.

For some reason, I truly enjoyed the title he gave himself:

Diplomat. Mike More
The Diplomat In charge

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GeorgeBush
419Eater is my life


Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 378
Location: Texas


PostPosted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice job, very well done - an enjoyable read. The lads were so close to the money, too bad they couldn't stick it out a bit longer! Those diplomats can last for days in the airport, but often disappear just as the calvary arrives...

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Black Dog
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Posts: 652
Location: 100% AUSSIE


PostPosted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just finished reading it mate... Well done!!!

The opening line in every email from the lad must have given you the shits in the end Laughing

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