How to help (without losing a friend)?

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Feb 2010 Posts: 3

A close friend has been online dating, and has been through (and finally dumped) the "asking for money" guy, but, she is in a new "relationship", and I found out that she is doing the" mail forwarding", now . He has her accepting packages containing notebook computers that are " for his boss" and forwarding them. I am scared for her. She has never met him (he keeps postponing it). This sounds like SCAM to me. I sent her e-mails with scam excerpts that I cut and pasted with a lot of information and gave the site addresses where these kind of scams were described. She doesn't respond. Should I now stay out of it? I am worried that she will turn on me to try to protect (the fantasy of) HIM. (She's a widow in her late fifties - and he sends her flowers and says all the right things.............)

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 2:24 am

Sounds like he's using her as a "mule" to receive packages. That can be dangerous because she's probably receiving goods bought with stolen credit cards or some other scam. All the evidence will point to her as an accomplice and her "friend" will never be found once the victims call the cops.
Hang on, someone more knowledgeable than I will be here soon to help point you in the right direction.

edit: Have a look here for quick help http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=178765
Don't be shy. People here really want to help.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

I think the usual advice is to suggest popping over to the sister site called scamwarners, they are wonderful at helping victims and friends of victims.

I am sure one of the resident experts of Murry, Ima or Kate will be by will more detailed information soon.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Welcome here. You're right, this is a scam. Any time anyone asks you to receive and forward packages it is a scam. What your friend is doing is actually illegal, she is shipping stolen goods. The goods will have been purchased with a stolen credit card and the trail leads to her.

Please do visit our sister site, ScamWarners.com. I'm active there as well as here: http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/

We can arrange for a warner to get in touch with your friend without mentioning you and try to convince her of the scam. Good for you for recognizing the scam and the effort in trying to help her.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Feb 2010 Posts: 3

Thank you for your responses. I have been reading about these scams for some time. But, it is hard to deal with someone who is under the "spell" of a professional "lover". I am sure when she reads my excerpts, she told herself that "HE isn't like this". She probably thinks that I am just paranoid, and that the information doesn't relate to HER "relationship. I wonder if she is actually clicking on to the site addresses that I provided. It could even be the same person who tried to get the money before - just using a different name. HE would have all the information about her, from her previous e-mails Then he could show up a "new" person who seems to be her "perfect man". HIS likes and dislikes would be stolen from her previous posts, so he can say that they are HIS feelings, too. And if he says it BEFORE she does - she would think that it is a coincidence (and a true match), that he "feels" just like her.
But, it boils down to the fact that a person that she has never met is getting her to remail computers.
I will follow your leads. Thanks.

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:16 am

Hi StarWish624.

Maybe one way to show her it´s a scam,ask her to read

our sister sites http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/

Maybe this will open her eyes.

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:58 am

StarWish624 I am so sorry for your friend, these professional 'lovers' can be very convincing and a lot of otherwise 'sane' people get sucked into the mire.

If you could post the details of where she 'found' him and some details of his 'syle' maybe an experienced baiter could take him on and show that he is not exclusive to her!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 26 Dec 2009 Posts: 25

If your friend is receiving packages you could notify your local police and ask them to contact her and keep you annonymous. Or ask your friend to contact them just to make sure its not a scam

Ford

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:53 am

Ford wrote:

Quote:

notify your local police

They might treat your friend as a criminal rather than innocent victim.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 26 Dec 2009 Posts: 25

I guess its a tricky one.
I would like to think that the police would assume innocence if you were wishing to help a friend who may not be aware of what they were doing. It brings it to their intention. I guess the best thing is to do what you feel is the right thing to do. Ultimately people will do what they want anyway.

ford Smile

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:18 pm

Unfortunately the "victim" is commiting an offence and that is how it will be viewed by police.

If you could get her to go to the police with the emails she has rceived it will be much better for her.

She needs to be honest and open and the sooner the better, with time it will only get worse and she may even be facing jail time.

I dont say this to scare you but it is important to get her to report this to police as it will only be a matter of time before the stores that the goods were purchased from trace back to her address as the receiver.

You could suggest that she ask the companies these goods came from about the payment, it will more than likely be made from a variety of credit cards and unless he has a fake name lining up with the credit card the names will all be different.

I double as a Moderator at Scamwarners and if you need me to I can contact your friend for you, the sooner the better.

Please do keep us posted as to how your going with your friend

BTW, there is a very good chance the 2 scammers were the same person, perhaps the IPs are even identical, you could check that with her, there is a section on how to find and check an IP in the romance baiting FAQ (link in my signature line)

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Feb 2010 Posts: 3

GOOD NEWS! My friend FINALLY GOT IT! I had sent her e-mails describing the mail forwarding scam, and how those that forward the packages could get into legal trouble.
Well, one of the computers that she was forwarding "dropped out of sight" for about a week. BOY, did her "lover" change. He was blaming her (she has a UPS mailing receipt), getting really nasty. Then the package finally showed up.
She had the information that I had cut & pasted (from this site, etc.), and she asked him for some sort of verification that what he was asking of her was legal.
Now, if he REALLY cared for her, and was a LEGITIMATE business man, he would have been happy to ease her worries, and send her the proof that she asked for.
HIS RESPONSE - to get angry, call her names, and be "insulted" that she even asked the questions, at all. "Didn't she TRUST him (they have never actually met)? This REALLY opened her eyes!
Thank you all for your support , caring, and most of all - the information which I could pass on to help my friend.

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:52 am

Good job!
Let's hope he doesn't try to hook her again as another character. These lads are relentless.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I'm really glad to hear that your friend now recognizes the scam, thank you for posting an update. Please do try to get her to read more of the informational topics at ScamWarners so that she'll be aware of the red flags of this and other scams. It's likely that this scammer will target her with another type in an attempt to victimize her again.

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:19 pm

Good job StarWish624. Good to hear your friend finally figured it out.

Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 8:10 am

Scammers are not stupid,untill something goes wrong,emotions
are coming up,angry feelings cos the victim don´t play with their rules.
They are showing agressive behavior against the possible victim.
Anyway it´s good how your friends things went. Laughing

How to help (without losing a friend)?	View next topic View previous topic