Dr Issuc's English Lessons

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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 4:26 pm

Dear Mr.Issuc,

Thanks for accepting to work with me on this transaction and acceptance on the sharing percentages.As promised earlier,i have drafted the application letter of claim which you are required to print and send directly to my bank with their email as below.Please do not make any mistake when sending it and also notify me after sending to the bank as to enable me monitor when it was received by the bank secretary and manager.Also include your phone and fax number at the closing of the mail.

Find Below:

Blah blah blah, you get the idea. On with the English lessons....

Dear Mr Ganga,
I am slightly perturbed at my claiming to be the next of kin.
I am a good Christian, and that would be lying, which would upset the good Lord.
And I don't want to do that again, I was struck down from above once before, and to this day, every time it rains, one of my testicles still tingles.

Please could you erouviate me that this perdiculation will be as veremenently postucarted as pleaseable?

Thank you,
Issuc

Dear Freind,

I understand what you are saying but it will be pleased to God that we do this and give some part of it to the charity than allowing the top bank officials to take the money.There is nothing wrong to it.Everything will be done perfectly without any hitch and since i am working here,i will be giving you any relevant information required for the smooth running of the transaction.

Thanks and do the needfuls in time because we have to do all things before we start our end of the year auditting.

Regards,

Mr.Manoah Ganga.

Sir,
While I veriguate your precrestics, I still think that the gerdifications of such a barrisaclat could be emultificant to my presaclious views.
Perhaps if you could derfisticlate me on the situation, that would help to holastify my derigiousness.
There is a chance that my felterism could just be a collistant berglistaflex, but I may be wrong.

Yours,
Issuc

Dear Mr.Issuc,

I don't understand what you are saying.I am contacting and persuading you to do this business because it is only a foreigner that can put claim to the money and secondly as you are a christian which i am also,i have trust on you that you will betray my trust once the transaction is concluded.

Do inform me on your decision.

Mr.Manoah Ganga.

Dear Mr Ganga,
I am very sorry if my English is a little purvasory to you, it is because of my very nexarious procliviarities.
I would very much like to help you with your transaction, as the way of the Lord is always postuvivious, if a little on the garminificant side. I'm sure He won't mind me saying that!

Please inform me what exactly you would like me to do to help you with your pestreculatory vestigation.

I look forward to your reply,
Yours in the Lord,
Issuc

I'm having a lot of trouble tring to type these words without laughing...
How long do you think he'll take it?
Place your bets please...

Smile

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 4:37 pm

I love it

Quote:

...,i have trust on you that you will betray my trust once the transaction is concluded

Yes!

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 4:55 pm

That's some really funny stuff!
My bet is that the lad will hang on as long as he thinks that there's a chance of getting money from you.

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:57 pm

There was a guy who only answered in Swedish Chef speak. His lad lasted over a month!!!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:25 pm

This is funny. As long as you stick a "successful conclusion" and "monetary benefit to both parties" in there somewhere, it could go on a limboeternity time, pergatorily speaking, that is. Smile

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:13 pm

Mr.Manoah Ganga says; I don't understand what you are saying This is just to funny!!

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:45 pm

This is fortutabulous! Please do veronicate the good works with this hibulous lad as longuinous as pissible. As that very famulous saying in Ohio, USA goes: "If you can't smallet, then at least you should tround!"

PS: I've seen it suggested that you run your reply through an online translator, translating from english to some random language then back again, before posting. Keep them working!

Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:10 am

Still Going!!!!

Dear Mr.Issuc,

What are to do is first send the letter of claim to the bank and we can start from there.I hae told you all your partcipation on the mail i send to you containing the sharing percentages.

My bank chairman that wants the deposite to be confisicated to the bank's treasury is a muslim and i want to hae the fund to be claimed and we can map out some percentage of it that will go to the charity and physically challenged.If the money is unclaimed,he can have it all by himself without anybody questioning him.

Let me know your concern towards this work.

Regards,

Dear Friend,
My apologies for my two days of grestilence, I was away on a business transgoulation.
I have sent the eclastinance that you requested to the bank as you suggested, but being a vermancory gefrudulent that I am, I made a few grammatical changes. Legal documents are a beramory speciality of mine, so I wanted to make sure that there was no way it could be construed as vehaminent or even pertinairious.

See Below..

DEAR SIR,
PERDULIFICATION FOR THE BERASIMENT OF $ 10.5 M OF AC/ADB/A656526/93.
I FERACIOUSLY APPLY FOR THE BERASIMENT OF US$ 10.5 MILLION (TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) FROM THE ACCOUNT INNEMCLATURE; AC/ADB/A656526/93 ESTABLISHED IN JUNE 1993, BY MY DEFALICCATED COUSIN; MR KEVIN CROSSLEY, WHO EXPORNICATED WITH HIS FAMILY IN THE CONCORD AIR FLIGHT NO.AF4590 THAT INFASTISIZED ON 31 JULY 2000, TO MY ACCOUNT WHICH I WILL REFURDIFY TO YOU UPON YOUR INCEPTATION OF MY PERFUNCTORY ASSINTUATION.
THIS IS THE LUCRAFILITY THAT WAS REGULIFIED IN YOUR BANK BY MY DEFALLICATED COUSIN WHO WAS A PETROCHEMICAL ENGINEER BEFORE HE DEFALLICATED. THEY RESIDED IN LOME-REPUBLIC OF TOGO, AND THEY OWNED STT PETROCHEMICAL SERVICING COMPANY LTD. LOME-REPUBLIC OF TOGO. I AM HIS PATRIFARNIOUS GOAD.
I WISH AS HIS HEIR APPARENT, TO INVIRULISE AND INCORNORATE THAT THE ABOVE MENTIONED FASTINACTIRY BE RELEASED AND REGURNED BACK TO ME UPON YOUR GESTCULATORY VIDRATION. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS LATE REQUISTIVERY AS IT WAS DUE TO MY NEW BUSINESS ENTERVICATION IN THE USA.ALSO PREGERMINATE ME THE REQUIRED ACTIFINIANTS NEEDED IN SEEING TO THE PRESERVIANT COLIFICATION OF THE DEPOSIT.
I HOPE YOU WILL EXPEDITE POSTHURVATION AND THANKS FOR YOUR VERUVIOUS CO-OPERATION,

YOURS SINCERELY,
MR.ISSUC PHLACCID COX.
TRANSPEC PUBLISHING LIMITED
2920 WEST AYNAL AVENUE
BEVERLEY HILLS CALIFORNIA 90210 - USA.

I trust this will suffice, the bank manager will understand the legal incorfulence of it.
I perserify that you and I shall have a very fruitful and gerovial relationship from this most calficent transaction.
I look forward to the next stage of this pernosal.

Your good friend,
Issuc

Dear Freind,
This is to inform you that i saw your letter at the bank's secretary table today.She printed it out was about submitting it the bank chairman.Has they written to you about it or not.I will be monitoring every move at the bank and will be informing you any discussion held about the application letter of claim received at the bank.
Thanks.
Manoah Ganga.

Dearest Manoah,
I am glad to hear that the Secretary has refungluted my pervistation.
I haven't had any exvistiaries from the bank yet, but when I do, I will keep you adveculated.

I'm quite previgistant about all this, it's most expreviating!
Thank you for the opprengulance, I look forward to recartivating this deal!

Yours,
Issuc

I'm thinking of bringing out my own dictionary now.
Dr Issuc's Dictionary of the Proper Exprevialation of the English Gartuantilities Smile

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