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 Finally! no more setting off metal detectors at airports!

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HANS MOLEMAN
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Joined: 01 Mar 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sorry for the long absence from the Eater.

I had to go through four surgical procedures in the last six months to remove the surgical steel rods, screws, pins, plates, flux capacitors, etc. from various parts of my body.
The bad news:
- I need one more minor one in the next two weeks to remove some small bone fragment in my knee. Nothing major thankfully.
The good news:
- I won't have to waste 30 minutes with canadian airport security dimwits, every time I catch a flight, trying to explain why I'm setting off the metal detector.
- Back at work (half days for now).
- Back at the Eater and baiting.

It's nice to be back. So, if you'll excuse me: I 'm going to go torment a hitman lad.

P.S. By the by, what's that little black icon (x3) in my siggy next to the flags? I don't remember seeing it there before.

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Craig007
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Glad you've recovered, although the surgery sounds painful! Shocked

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Welcome back. Very Happy

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Dya Reyarunen-Downmeleg
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey, Welcome back Hans! So sorry to read of what you've gone through. I'm wishing you happiness and fabulous health from here on in!

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome back Hans, glad to hear that you're recovering okay!

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ask them for the pieces back -- Think of the scrap metal worth Shocked

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome back! It sounds like you have been through hell.Sad
Glad to hear things are much better now and hope all goes well with the remaining surgeries.

On a different note, I do hope they didn't strip search you and believed you when you said it was from surgeries.

Have fun baiting again. Try to laugh at a lad at least once a day.
Or at least an evil smile... Wink

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think I am being spied on.. there was an ad for Metal Dectors at the bottom of this thread!


P.S. yes i know about adsense.. was just being funny..


but welcome back!

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome back, Hans!

Here's a funny thing; in some of my Captain Mal baits he's referred to metal in his body from pins in a broken leg setting off airport metal detectors. I was guessing that; wasn't sure if it was true.

If it doesn't bring back bad memories, perhaps you could describe a typical airport session.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome back, Hans. Laughing

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HANS MOLEMAN
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yastreb wrote:


If it doesn't bring back bad memories, perhaps you could describe a typical airport session.


I thought it was only an urban legend myself and had asked my surgeon about it. He said that I shouldn't have any problems at all and that in only a few cases, this had actually happened.

I spoke with an acquaintance of mine who's the manager of airport operations for an airport in British Columbia and he basically said the same thing. Apparently, not all airports calibrate their detectors in the same way. Some airport have them set to a higher sensitivity than others, especially the hand held devices.

Anywho, in my experience, the small regional airports are the worst ones, not the major hubs.

The most ridiculous incident happened in northern British Columbia. After this guy's hand held detector went off like crazy around my right ankle,I had to take off my shoes, socks and pull up my pants to my knees to show the scars and explain to him for the tenth time that I had as much surgical hardware in my leg than bone. After all that, his simian mind still thought I was a terrorist or something.

I was escorted to a separate room, put through another complete sweep with a hand held detector, this time by the supervisor, assisted by two others. Again, I showed the scars and told them what was going on. That's when it really started to degenerate into slapstick comedy. They phoned the airport RCMP detachment to have an officer come in and assist them. While we're waiting, these two yahoos start the bad cop/good cop routine on me, asking me for the name of my doctor, if I had any papers attesting to the fact that I had metal pins and rods in my legs and all kinds of stupid questions.

Now, I don't know about security personnel on other continents, but, in my opinion, here in Canada, they're about as professional and smart as mall cops. So try and picture this bad cop/good cop routine done by two mall cops and you can see why I was busting a gut laughing the whole time.

This whole charade lasted about 10 minutes until the RCMP showed up. The guy listened to what they had to say, looked at my leg, looked at me, asked me 2 questions, looked at the other two idiots with a WTF are you doing expression in his face, apologized to me for the delay and walked away.

15 minutes later, I was boarding my flight.

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Nap Olean
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome back. Don't worry, airport security is the same, even when you don't set off the metal detectors. Confused

I've got two plates and 7 pins in my arm, but I've never had an issue with the airports yet.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome back!Unfortunately,I think you will find our latest hitman lad a bit worse for the wear at this point.I'm sure a fresh one will be along shortly though Twisted Evil

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I had a steel K-nail in my femur and it was always disappointing when the detectors didn't go off.

The doctors said normally the K-nails were autoclaved and sent to Africa!

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HANS MOLEMAN
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nap Olean wrote:

I've got two plates and 7 pins in my arm, but I've never had an issue with the airports yet.


I know, this is totally weird. Everyday for a whole week in May, I went through metal detectors in a provincial court house and never had a problem. No problems in other airports either. It only happened at that particular airport.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

jump_4_joy Welcome back Hans.

I have 2 metal screws just below my right knee and, so far, haven't set off any metal detectors whenever I've been at an airport.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome back Hans! Sorry about the issues in the airport. I would have been laughing too. I take wooden crutches when I travel because the aluminum ones freak out the folks at the machines. Maybe they use The Day of the Jackal as a training film... Laughing

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^ Judging by the replies above you have to be part of the Borg collective to become a baiter Laughing

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome back, HANS!

happy crowd happy crowd happy crowd

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If I was standing buck naked if front of a bemused bunch of airport security, I wouldn't have been able to resist saying: "Now do believe I'm a terminator?". Wink No doubt they would have last laugh, Shocked but hey!

Welcome back Hans. Very Happy

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

conga22 wrote:
Ask them for the pieces back -- Think of the scrap metal worth Shocked


Dibbs on the flux capacitor!
Now, where did I park my DeLorean?

hi Hans

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have enough trouble with the metal cleets on my hiking boots that I often travel in (so I dont have to carry them i my luggage).

Being part robot must be a royal pain in the ass these days. Good for a custom tag though. Smile

Welcome back!

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Since my metal is fully visible (i.e., my wheelchair), the airport security folks don't even bother with the metal detector. They ask me to take my shoes off, though, and look puzzled when only one shoe shows up int the plastic bin. Then they look down and realize why. I've been through airport security twice since acquiring the disability, and both times the swabbing of the chair and the manual pat-down were done with full attention to my dignity and respect.

I have a friend with two knee replacements, and she has to carry a card explaining that fact. She did set off the metal detector when boarding a cruise ship, but only the first time. At all the other ports, nothing was noticed.

Welcome home, Hans! Very Happy

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From these stories of non setting off the metal detectors it seems to me that you can smuggle a bazooka through the airport security. What's the point if the detectors are that insensitive?
I once set it off with the belt buckle (pretty small one in fact) :puzzled:

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I thought I had removed everything metalic (even my belt) but still set off the detector. Was it the iron in my haemoglobin ? No! I'd forgotten two small coins in my back pocket.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Did the flux capacitors replace the heart valves????
Why did the scaffolding get inserted in the first place?
Welcome back Hans Laughing

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