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 Hilarious UK housing ad

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woody999
Dormain Reshuffler


Joined: 30 May 2009
Posts: 18094
Location: East of Humptulips


PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Link to Ad

http://www.homesonsale.co.uk/baby_capuchin_monkeys_for_jsanchos24_gmail_com-o75793-en.html

Quote:
Capuchin baby monkeys.They are DNA tested, USDA standard, potty & house trained and has all their shots up to dates, health...We have always varies capuchin monkey babies available for * should you look for a specific species that we have currently not listed on our AVAILABLE page please inquire via email. We can help you to give the perfect baby for you quickly!health.([email protected])

City/Town: abel
Address of Property: califonia
Postcode/Zip: 90001 [map]
Bedrooms: 2
Reception Rooms: 1
Bathrooms: 1
Type of Property: Flat
Price: USD 200.00 [convert]
Features
Central Heating: Other
Burglar Alarm:
Parking Facilities: Double Garage
Gardens: Front & Rear

Double Glazed:
Near Shops:
Near School :
Loft:
Utility Room:
Patio:
Extra Features


Area Information
Capuchin baby monkeys.They are DNA tested, USDA standard, potty & house trained and has all their shots up to dates, health...We have always varies capuchin monkey babies available for * should you look for a specific species that we have currently not listed on our AVAILABLE page please inquire via email. We can help you to give the perfect baby for you quickly!health.([email protected])
Contact Information
Email Seller: Email Seller
Contact person:
Advertiser Type : Private Seller



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Catcher In The Lie
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 877
Location: 404 Yellow Brick Road


PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh, for a second there I thought you were talking about the Capistrano Swallow's. Phew...! Good that you're not buying them cuz i feed them when they return every year.

Now, the Capuchin monkeys are a different story. Definitely question the missing link in the DNA before purchasing them.
Very Happy Twisted Evil

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Roycropper
Undead Moderator


Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7995
Location: Luxury Coffin


PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Making cappuchino from monkeys is cruel, but last week I saw some on TV, using a flat stone as an anvil, and a rounded stone as a handtool to break open seeds.

So they probably built that garage themselves, though I notice they can't manage central heating yet.

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themob
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 68


PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You have to have a Dangerous and Wild Animal Act certificate to buy or sell a Capuchin monkey in the UK.

Imagine the paperwork involved in that. Wink
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el_matador
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 21 Sep 2009
Posts: 6


PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:25 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
should you look for a specific species that we have currently not listed on our AVAILABLE page please inquire via email.


Wonder if they have any Homosapiens in stock?
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manbiteslion
never f*cking learns


Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard


PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Matador - with these kinds of companies, you will often find that they have unicorns in stock, colours to suit...

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El Sid
419Eater is my life


Joined: 17 Apr 2009
Posts: 351


PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 8:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@ woody999: Dude, I'm afraid to say my advert may well just pip this one.

Happy to provide the link should anyone want to apply, but leeting as its a lil too close to home Smile

I came across this the other week. I'm still in two minds...

Quote:

House To Let N******M -Warning 67 M**ford (£85 pw)

A few point I forgot to mention-REDUCTION due to dry rot and cockroaches underfloor boards,
HOUSE TO LET - N******M
HAVE YOU GOT AN UMBRELLA????-THE ROOF LEAKS VERY BAD CONCEQUENTLY THE HOUSE SMELLS OF ROT ND MOULD
B*******h, Near W******n (POSTCODE) - 2 Bed semi/1 box room. kitchen(Tatty and retro as you can see), bathroom, 2 toilets, lounge / dining room,
entrance hall, sun lounge, useful outside store
Part furnished, carpets, part double glazed, GFCH, electric fire, plumbed for washer, shower, fridge / freezer, off road parking for 2 cars, gardens front and rear, 2 smoke alarms(not tested) are fitted.
Improving area with good shops and good bus route nearby.

Sorry but no smokers and no pets.I will be checking regulary I am a perfectionist

Suit Perfect professionals, couple, 2/3 ladies sharing. Easy access M1, N*****m and *****.There can be a deposit of £490 made + 1 month rent in advance paid on occupation (usual) or other options can be considered which do not involve a deposit but I really would like to take your deposit,This is generally where I make my money- please just ask - no agency fees apply!
Rent: £410 pcm exclusive. Tel: 0*** - 9****1 (D***e or M**k) E-mail: [email protected]


... and futhermore, to ensure their is not a dry seat in the house, the following are the actual pictures they uploaded.

Image

Image

Image

So then. Any takers?

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