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 Funniest passengers ever!

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Jay leno
train boi


Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 697


PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I was duty manager at the station yesterday for my sins. When an I was called to meet one of our services just in from London, Two canadian passengers boarded in London wanting to go to Maidenhead (The train doesnt even stop in Maidenhead or anywhere near) because they thought the places were next to each other, If you think 180 miles is close then you would be right,

The Canadian said "Well I asked someone and he said I was at the wrong station and I saw that train and boarded it" to which I replied "Well it was the wrong train and to get to maidenhead is £62 standard or as you want its £209.50 first class each, You have 6 minutes to decide pay and get to the train on platform 5" (I wasnt in the mood for shit then as it was near home time and such a mistake doesn't warrent free tickets). He moans about sueing Britrail (American ticket agent he bought the tickets through) to which I replied "Thats your choice sir but you have 3 minutes to let me know your choice" He opts for the first class tickets and off he goes.

So I am walking to the car after finishing and he gets ahold of me telling me he missed the train as he moaned and moaned. I had to laugh! Nearly in his face but I kept it straight and decided to get him some help but he wanted compensation! Gahh!

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N N N
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 26 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Come on Jay, you know the customer is ALWAYS right! Laughing

Sometimes counting way beyond 10 just doesn't do it.

I think my favourite complaint has to be an irate American couple who had just completed the "rain forest" walking tour and were bitterly complaining to the purser's staff and anyone that would listen that they had got soaking wet as it had done nothing but rain for 2 hours non-stop during said tour .....

OR

(I'm a big guy) The extremely petite (4 foot nothing and 60lb max dripping wet) American (again, but not the same one) lady who was complaining about the size of the shower cubicle in her luxury promenade deck cabin not being big enough. They were all the same size, didn't matter what your berth was. I simply looked her in the eye (downwards quite a way) and said "You thnk you have problems lady?". It took her a while to realise this was British humour in full swing.
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Alan B'Stard
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 15 Jul 2009
Posts: 76
Location: At the bottom of my garden (honest!)


PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm an avionic engineer, and a few years ago, whilst working for Thomas Cook Airlines, I was contacted by the police whilst at work. One of our passengers on a Boeing 757 had made a compalint of assault against the company. She claimed that we had allowed jet fuel to leak from the fuel tanks on to her head. This while she was sat in her seat, on the aircraft.

When this woman finally contacted us direct we were able to point out that jet fuel isn't stored in the overhead luggage lockers, it's in the wings, beneath her feet. So, unless she carried her own provate anti-gravity field round with her, there was no way on this earth that the fuel tanks could have leaked upwards. When asked what this jet fuel smelled like, she said 'water'. Unsurprising, really, because that's exactly what it was that had dripped on her - condensation. Or, as we described it to her, clean water.

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Mr Tambourine Man
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 2:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

There's a Leeds Castle in Kent, England. There's also a city called Leeds 200 miles or so further north. I don't need to explain further, do I?

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Jay leno
train boi


Joined: 04 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 3:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If your ticket said MAIDENHEAD Would you board a train for MANCHESTER which had the following calling points?

LONDON EUSTON
MILTON KEYNES CENTRAL
STOKE ON TRENT
STOCKPORT
MANCHESTER PICCADILLY

(Enough said Razz )

The customer is right 2 out of 10 times, Most customers aren't cocky so earn a free ticket.

If I told you, "You are the wrong station You need Paddington not euston" Would you really board a train bound for Manchester?

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Titania
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 3:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have a friend who was a travel agent. One of his favorite stories is of the couple who booked a Hawaiian vacation through his agency. First, they asked if they needed passports (this was in southern California). Then, when they returned, they came into his office extremely angry. When he asked them why they were so mad, the wife said, "You didn't tell us we'd have to fly over WATER!"

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GomiFan
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Haha, hilarious! Very Happy

That's like boarding a flight to Tokyo when your going to Toronto (except not as extreme, obviously).
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Mr Tambourine Man
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

There's this recent story about a Swedish couple on their way to the Isle of Capri.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8173308.stm
They walk among us.

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is always Good when you have the zeal to be a hitwoman when you out of school,it makes you bold and reall and it makes you more high than any other of your friend.
you dont have a phone.that makes makes you joe butt. Fuck you and go find something to do man. Stop disturbing me please.
This is definitely why you will remain and die in poverty, ignorant of good things and easy acknowledgment of bad things and words. Shame on you, you wicked generation children.
i went you to no that this is not a cheld pray. i went you to get back to me
we are not scammer,we hate scammer as you do.scammer make out life harder and harder,a lot of people think we are scammer,in fact,we are not!! please trustt us
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Catcher In The Lie
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Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Okay, I just had to Very Happy This is my all time favorite 'blonde' joke:

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.
The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in First Class who belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!"

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm Sorry, " and she gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her First Class isn't going to Houston."

(and I'm blonde Wink)

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Connie L. Gus
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Joined: 07 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ I love that joke. Last summer while posting on 419eater, I got a call from a family friend. She's a travel agent and she asked me to pick her up at a train station in 20 minutes. Um... OK, what's up? It took a few minutes but I found out she had gotten on the wrong train. I told her to get off the train immediately so that I would only have to drive 3 miles instead of 14. It worked out well, we had dinner and I drove her home.

Last week I was standing at the airport check in with my military girl's bags on the scales waiting for a clerk. The guy next to us with a Northern European accent refused to pay $350 extra for his tickets and overweight baggage. I was concerned as my little one got charged last time for baggage even though the airline's website said that they do not charge military with ID and travel orders. I was not with her then. All production on the lines ceased as the supervisor was called and all the clerks circled around to listen. Apparently he had talked to them all. I calmly reached into my back pocket to unfold and flatten the airline website screen shots that I had printed out looking forward to a fight. As I was circling the key phrases, I heard "That's absurd." "How asinine, idiots and no way." Then I heard the white haired supervisor say "But sir, your tickets were for yesterday." The customer said "That's why we've been here since this morning. We should be compensated for our time." Even though he had refused to go "Over there", as he had just been from "Over there", he went back "Over there". My little one's bags were checked in with a smile and a thank you.

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ParaNoid
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Joined: 12 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Name confusion reigns on all continents. In the state of Colorado, there is a town name Berthoud and there is a city named Loveland. They are both North of Denver about 50 miles.

No big deal, right?

The difficulty comes that there are other destinations that share the name. There is Berthoud Pass, an area that has back country skiing. There is also a Loveland Pass AND a separate Loveland ski area. All of these areas are a little more than 50 miles WEST of Denver.

One might think that people traveling would know their destination. Not so… the bus station in the City of Loveland had a sign in the window that said, “This is NOT the Loveland ski area.”

I did see at least one bewildered person get off of the bus with skis and poles. Oooops…

There is an altitude difference of almost 3,000 feet. Could have been a GREAT safari modality. Wink

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Jay leno
train boi


Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 697


PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

But the passengers were told they needed to go to Paddington and board a GREEN train there, He was at Euston and Boarded a big grey, red and yellow train, He rang our office demanding we either refund him or get britrail to refund him, They don't refund for stupidity.

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Alan B'Stard
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 1:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Alas, it's not just muppet train passengers who pick the wrong destination:

http://www.pprune.org/archive/index.php//t-61557.html

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Jay leno
train boi


Joined: 04 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 1:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I thought pilots had computers telling them?

Im not allowed on a route until I know the whole route and signal locations. (Not hard to get lost)

I was speaking to someone in Admin, He has filled out a refund request!!

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HAVE YOU EVER TASTED HELL.YOU HAVE A DISEASE AND YOU REFUSE TO CURE IT.THAT IS FREE VISA TO HELL.YOU JUST LIED AND DECEIVE, I HAVE REPORTED YOU TO FBI AND JAY LENO SHOW - Fred W1lly
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thud419
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Now you're having us on. You cannot get lost in a vehicle that does not have a steering wheel. Laughing Wink

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Jay leno
train boi


Joined: 04 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I really am not allowed on a route until I have passed a test on it

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Craig007
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I thought pilots had computers telling them?


Ha! Slightly simpler than that... Wink

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thud419
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Just pulling your leg, Jay. I'm sure you can get yourself in a hell of a mess at 125mph if you don't know where you are and what you're expecting.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have a friend, who while distraught over a personal tragedy, intended to drive several hundred miles south to visit friends in Tennessee. Many hours later and three hundred miles north, she stopped to ask directions in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I'm sure you can get yourself in a hell of a mess at 125mph

Pah! slowcoach!
Not only do we get tested, but every two years we have another rules test.
Now I have 2 rule books so I'll be getting 2 tests?

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"Is this Victoria?"
"no, mate, this is Bromley, but we're going to Victoria"
We have to put codes in the Passenger Information System.
There is one for semi-fast trains from Ashford to Victoria, it's '419'....
I wonder how we still manage to get there.

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Jay leno
train boi


Joined: 04 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love it when I was Train Manager and they would come running at me saying is this Manchester? No we are in Birmingham, Or IG might be able to relate to this, You are on an early morning service, (As train manager) falling asleep leaning on the train and someone comes runing over shouting at you and your like eh eh eh?

Was I wrong saying you have to buy new tickets?

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Fo'andles
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Having been a Train Manager on the London Underground, i don't think you were wrong, Jay, just remember your neck is always on the line and they would not have cared if you had lost your job, what higher ups do, is up to them, we can moan we get no backing, when they give refunds, but you notice they don't tell us, not to take action you took.

Every transport system in the world, private or national has its funny passengers and don't forget the staff, including managers, can be funny at times.

Years ago had an American approach me, when i was on a trains, with the question "How do i get to Leicester Square", had to point out this is Leicester Square, did not get any thanks, other people on the platform, just shook their heads in disbelief.

Also had one of the bosses come to me with a passenger complaint, said i had given a passenger the wrong information, my answer was, The correct information was given to the wrong idiot.
Seems like the bosses had come across these idiots, never heard anymore about it.

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Jay leno
train boi


Joined: 04 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Fo I totally agree Managers are turds. Even though I tried helping he still moans, He wants the britrail portion and the portion I sold him refunding and he said I pocketed the money!

I mean why! I get paid fairly well anyway why would I rip off any customer

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N N N
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:52 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Inspector Gadget wrote:
.... Passenger runs down stairs ...
What train service is this? Laughing
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Badgerbait
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Being an American, I think I will hail a cab, trains would be more nostalgia or doing the tourist thing I think. Is there signifigant price differences between cabs and trains?

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