My First Bait

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Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:23 pm

Hi folks, Just winding up my first bait, just thought I'd let you know what happened.
My name is Itai Ofeose, I am 19 years old boy from Sierra Leone.I am writing you to request you to be my Trustee and to Manage my fund which I inherited from my late father,he was poisoned by his business associates while on a business trip with my mother and my plan is to continue and complete my education in your country which was disrupted as a result of their death, now i am hopeless and helpless all my hope is on you i do not want them to seiez the money from me or be an ophen and a begger for life.Please let me know your opinion regarding this offer so that I can detail you accordingly to enable you have access to the fund and receive it in your account for investment while I continue my education under your care with hope that you will not disappoint me.I am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as your commission for helping me to receive the fund in a safe account.I am waiting to hear from you.

We get into a 'relationship' he starts calling me 'uncle':

Dear Ittie,
Your Pastor is indeed a man of god and it is the lords good will that has allowed you to contact me for help. What is your pastors name so that I may include him in my prayers?
I will indeed help you, there is a university near to me that specialises in foreign students, who knows you may follow in your fathers footsteps in becoming a doctor or Winner of Achievements in National Knowledge Enlightenment and Religion.(known locally as W.A.N.K.E.R.) He would be proud I'm sure.
I look foreward to your earliest reply,

I am 80 years old and a retired taxidermist, that means I preserved and stuffed dead animals (mainly pets), for rich and famous people. One of my most famous clients was Sidney Harbourbridge who was a very prominent government politician.
I now live alone. I have no family except the church and my Irish ladcharger dog, boris, however he too is very old.
It is good to help you, I feel very proud and look upon you as a future Doctor or W.A.N.K.E.R.
Yours in god
Uncle Harold.

I have told him I am deaf so can't use a phone and am unfamiliar with the internetThe lad now introduces a security company run by a man called Fifi (might be a hooker with a name like that) who needs money sent before the box can be sent. (who'd have guessed)
He sends me some photos from a website that I i.d. through tineye then I tell him that I am so proud that I'm putting HIM in my will (tables to be turned at a later date me thinks) He now calls me Grandad or Grandpa

The security company try to pressure me into a quick transaction via W.U.
I send them a load of W.U. 'security forms' (thanks to this site) and they change their mind and tell me to use Money gram. Now I start playing the orphan off against the security company and ask for a photo of the orphan holding a sign stating 'I want to be a WANKER in England'

More emails at trying to get me into Moneygram, all stalled, then I accuse the orphan of lying through his photo's of himself....so he lies

Dear grandad,

I am not a proud child or spelt child but i like fashion, I can spend my last dim on fashion, cloths is nothing to me here my lat dad was not a poor man, like what i told you i am not confortable to ask for money from somebody, if not i will ask you to send me money i am do not know how to beg for money iyou may not know how i live in this place nor how i feed par day, you may not know how much ot cost me to send youall those photos, live was very very good for me when i was with my parents, i eat what ever i want and i wear what ever i want to put on clothes was nothing to me even now, i have enough i survive by selling some of my clothes or shoe to feed, i have lots of them because i came with lots of them, but circumstances made me to sell them one after the other, as i am talking to you, i am thinking of how will i have money to send you all those things you asked for like what i told you if i have enough money i will send you do my doccuments and send them to you, i do not even have money to buy time to mail you,i am not in any predicament just that i lack finance, i mail you from a public cyber and the pastor is not in town if not i would have ask him for some money to send you one more photo of mine, those photos i sent to you was me but people would not believe it becuase now i look like a skeleton it is not their fault it is condition, granpa i will not tell you lies the only lie i will tell you is that i iused to feed three times a day, which is not correct i eat once a day and i am gettinh used to it, ii i have enough money i will do all i can to send you all that which you have but i do not have it, i could notmail you all these whime because i do not have money to pay for time in a public cyber, you may not know how i live here but i know with time by the grace if God you will know, when you say all those things about me which i am not i cried alot becuase i have tried to bring myself to you very close but yet you do not trust me and believe me, i have all effort to tell you who am i and what i am and how i life, that was why the pastors says he wants to call you, if only you can alow him to call you then wa shall talk with each other, i do not have enough time on the net , but one thing i know is that with time you will know whom i am, i am prepare to come to you in England and be your granson, even be what ever you want me to be, but you make me cry alot with your last mail i tried to certisfy you by sercrifiing all that i had to make you know me and be close to you, but you make me cry and think of my past but why grandad why, i ama christain and i will not tell you lies, if i tell you lies what will the Lord say about me you are alli have and i cannot tell you lies, for once give me a chnace to be a granson to you please, take good care of
borris for me.

I then hit him with the links to the website he used for the photos, he's been caught out on a lie so he throws himself on his sword..

am really ashame of myself becuase i have not been telling you the truth, i do not need your money niether will i ask you for your money, i sent you those photos becuase i have not gotten my right photo on the net, money and ashame of my shinny body, i am sorry and i will ask you to stop all transaction becuase i have not been truthful to you on my photos but all other fact about me is correct i do not want to send you another image that is not mind with the signs you said, i am too skinny hat i am ashame to send you my photo, i intend yo tell you this later when i am ready to join you but just to make you happy and bring trust between ourselves, but i did not know that i am doing myself, those photos are not mine because of my condition and skinniness my right photo is attached to you which i am ashamed of, in two days time i won't be able to send you those things you asked for, so i will say that you should forgive me and forget all about me for not been truthful to you and forget about the this transfe, i did not tell the pastor about the photos i sent to you, but i intend to later and have to face my mistake and take it like a man, but that photo of my pastor is real, the one he sat down and with the other one with me that was taken Over 4 years ago they are real, those photos are real but the others are not i have to tell you this to clear my conscience and i
of you still want to help me go ahead and do it if not i will understand, please forgive me

I now demand the photo of him with the wanker sign which he sends me (got the bastard on the ropes now)

Now the security company starts pressuring again so I send the m a load of moneygram 'security forms' (thanks again this site), these have been returned three times for not filling them out correctly.

I now push for his details for my will which he is now the sole beneficiary of and ask HIM for documents (see how he likes it for a change)

After receiving a severe pissed off communication from FiFi I hit the orphan with a closing shot knowing that he and the 'security company are one and the same

Dear Ittie, I tried yet again to sort the forms out with the security company, they must be complete brainless cretins to not be able to answer basic questions. I am also wondering if Fifi is stalling because he doesn't want you to leave the country because he harbours unnatural homosexual thoughts about you. Be careful the next time you visit him in case he tries to bugger you senseless. I cannot do any more for you my dear grandson, I hop the next person who tries to help gets a better assistance for the retarded halfwits that are working at the security office. Good luck and god bless for the future, I am sad that I couldn't do more for you
Grandad Harold

My plan is to now see what happens for a week or two it will either carry on or I might contact the orphan as a solicitor stating that 'grandad Harold' has kicked the bucket and there is loads of money for him in England.........providing he jumps through some hoops!

Hope you liked this, let me know if I could have done anything better or differently, Its my first one so I'm Learning my trade, so to speak.
All the best Spindly Killerfish

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Aug 2009 Posts: 49

oh man, turning it and telling him youve kicked the bucket. thats brilliant!

id love to see him back on the hook

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Quote:

.. in case he tries to bugger you senseless.

Haha! "Fifi"???