Talking B*ll*cks

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Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:58 am

Sitting here at work listening to 2 managers speaking with a secretary type on handsfree. They are discussing a Disaster recovery Plan for our IT department.

A question was asked about maintaining the day to day work, and the 2 managers insisted that this subject should be refered to as "keeping the lights burning", as everyone would know what that meant.

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 1:24 pm

I still recall the senior guy (Army Major) many years ago who talked of the need for "synergy" in the organisation.

I asked him what he meant by "synergy".

He didn't know.

I don't think that he ever forgave me for that question.

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 1:32 pm

Sounds like you have an attitude problem HitchHiker. If you cannot impact on what they want, they will not implement something different. You need to think outside the box, stay focused, and execute the top-line key points regarding the methodology. I suggest you strive for a horizontal view and matrix manage the minor adjustments. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 1:57 pm

^you are one Optimized coherent moderator who consistently shows a User-friendly 6th generation approach however may I suggest an Inverse responsive hierarchy be implemented

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

@Luckey

I agree, a paradigm shift is in order. I think you need to forward think this and collaborate to achieve an equilateral outcome based solution.

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:13 pm

Think long-term. Think viral. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The wireless social-network-based CAD factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate partnerships, models are forced to become scalable. Pride yourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation, co-branded, end-to-end? We think that most scalable portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Think 24/7/365. We realize that if you benchmark intra-interactively then you may also exploit mega-transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your technology takes the best features of VOIP and VOIP Mach II. Without cyber-eyeballs, you will lack R&D reports.

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Apr 2009 Posts: 166

Thanks for the heads-up. What you are facing is just the tip of the iceberg. The bottom-line is if you want to play hardball in the dog and pony show then you have to put in the face time. I envision a 360-degree survey to focus on a strategic fit. Keep us in the loop.

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:43 pm

I think we should run this thread up the flagpole and see who salutes it.

I can't believe I even thought that. I'm off to wash out my mouth/keyboard with soap puke

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:46 pm

Look Hitchhiker, you're obviously HTML in a web 2.0 world. It's time to grasp the low hanging fruit and think outside the box, be more proactive and help to build the road map. If you keep out of the loop then you're part of the problem, not the solution.

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:50 pm

Personally speaking, my answer would lie entirely within the negative quadrant of the sphere of communication.

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:52 pm

I got sent this some time ago via one of those email things.

"Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?"...

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive marketplace.

In a partnering relationship with the client, we helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), we helped the chicken deploy its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

We convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with our own consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergise with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals in delivering and successfully architecting and implementing and enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

In conclusion, we helped the chicken change to become more successful.

419Eater is my life Joined: 17 Apr 2009 Posts: 351

Anyone ever play Bullshit Bingo?

http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 7:51 pm

El Sid, I bow to you. Laughing

I have a meeting to thrash out the IT requirements of a new combined Library and "One Stop Shop" so I might just take your suggestion along with me.

Other than that, having read how the rest of you have moved so much further ahead than I have, I am left with only one solution.

I shall now go and shoot myself.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

HitchHiker wrote:

I shall now go and shoot myself.

You better check with HR, there have been some policy and protocol changes in regards to employee suicide. Have you filed the proper employee self termination request application?

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:58 pm

BINGO

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 11:23 pm

@Ms Mockinatrix

That was quite a detailed programmatic specificity you had there.

419Eater is my life Joined: 17 Apr 2009 Posts: 351

@ Pastor Frank: Funnily enough, in RL I work in HR, so feel I should act as an authority on strategic suicide management.

We need some blue sky thinking here people, and in my professional opinion I conclude that this is a managerial matter.... Wink

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:17 pm

On a slightly different but similar tack, I worked for an old UK established accountancy firm for many years. One of the stories was that the long standing senior partners couldn't differentiate his debits from his credits in the old fashioned 'T' accounts, in the days BC - before computers. His memory jogger was that the credit side was next to the window and the debits opposite the door. Laughing

Just in case he forgot he kept a piece of paper in each of his locked desk draws. One said 'CREDIT' the other said 'DEBIT.'

Those were the days. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:33 pm

/\/\ I suggested to my wife that she have 'L' and 'R' tattooed on her hands, but she wasn't too impressed. BTW, I used to do that double entry stuff, I just remembered what a cashbook looked like with money in on the left and money out on the right, and took it from there.

I worked for a PR firm for a couple of years. They talked managmentbollox full time, but I wouldn't have anything to do with it. They were always running up flagpoles outside the box or whatever. The boss asked me what my KPI's were, I just asked him to say it in English.

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 3:32 pm

Here at the Council I work at KPI's are all the rage. I still know nothing about them, other that they provide "ticks in the box" and that wins the Council awards and star ratings thus proving that despite the views of the citizenry, we are providing a "Rolls Royce" service for a "Mondeo" price.

However, in order to pay for this level of service, which is designed to keep the current party in power, financial readjustments are needed, and so the whole of ICT is now being "Market Tested". (That means outsourced)